Jake, a new arrival to Equestria, finds himself roped into a high tea with Princess Celestia and a group of snobby nobles. The lunch is boring, the tea is boring, and the nobles are boring. Celestia gives Jake an out, and he takes it, braving a final conversation with one 'Lady Rarity' in the hopes that he can escape the whole boring affair and get a cup of goddamn coffee.

Inspired by the amazing cover art, by SunBusting.

Rated T for snarky language and witty banter.
The sequel to this story is now available.

Spike now harnesses the bloodstone scepter making him the ruler of all dragon kind. Of course he hands it off as part of an important lesson on friendship, right? Naw. He immediately goes mad with power.

Anypony will tell you that Princess Celestia is the most amazing pony in Equestria. She's graceful, she's beautiful, and she always knows just what to say. Her decisions are wise and her manners are impeccable. Some might go so far as to say she's completely perfect.

Celestia has a secret, however. As it turns out, she actually is completely perfect. She's utterly infallible in every aspect. And boy, is she sick of it.

Now she's determined to manage to make just one little thing go wrong.

It won't, of course. After all, she's perfect.

---------
Written for the Equestria Daily Pre-reader battle: April 2013- The prompt was "Celestia's terrible secret- Revealed!" Unfortunately it didn't work nearly as well as I'd hoped, but hopefully someone gets a cheap chuckle out of it.

"Her parents hadn’t come close to telling us what had happened. As I read her newest letter I couldn't believe what she was telling me. This kid hadn’t 'had an accident'… this kid, damn, this kid had been buckin' broken... she’d been broken…"

Based on characters and situations from "Tiny Wings" by DeadParrot222.
Image "Filly Dash" by Imalou. Both used with permission.

Annoyed that the nobles keep taking up all of princess Celestia's time filly Twilight vents the only way she knows how. By writing an essay! However she wrote this essay on the blank bottom of the scroll containing the speech Princess Celestia was to read to her little ponies. And once the speech ends, Celestia doesn't stop. Much to the horror of some of the nobles in the crowd.

Proof read by Cobalt Comet

Edited by Dark Chocolate

This story now has a Youtube reading.

Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is famous across Equestria as a center of academic excellence. Only the best and brightest unicorns are offered places, selected by their academic merit, magical ability and passion for study. To make the admissions process as fair and reliable as possible, all candidates are given three exams by different teams of examiners, who then meet in private to decide which students are most deserving of a place.

Winner of the December 2014 Writeoff competition: Behind Closed Doors.

Ponies these days are nuzzling younger than ever. Talk to your foals about the dangers of unprotected tummy rubs.

A Los Pegasus charity commission for Pav Feira. He... he gave me the prompt. I had no choice. Forgive me.

Sometimes, all we need are a few stats to shed some light on a subject.

This story is a sequel to Aunthood Issues

Pop-cultural investigative reporter Coranto has heard some pretty out-there excuses for rumors. Some were even true. But when castle gossip says Luna has had a baby, and she claims she's created an entity to patrol dreams called the Tantabus, Coranto knows she's smelling a load of hogwash. The idea is absurd. Patently. Never one to let the truth hide, Coranto decides she will get to the bottom of these rumors, and nothing will dissuade her. Not anything Luna says. Not even the Tantabus itself taking an interest in her crusade.

...Wait...

This story is a sequel to Tantabus, Mk. II

The new and improved Tantabus has behaved itself thus far, but Luna has delayed telling Celestia about it. Until one night when it jumps into Celestia's dreams to say hi and inadvertently reveals itself. Luna must now introduce Celestia to her little bundle of self-aware psychic dream energy sooner than she imagined.