My name is Canvas. I remember because I wrote it in the corner of the white box. It takes twelve steps to get from the cot to the wall. And the lights hurt my eyes.

(Note: The story isn't in color because I decided to try this without the gimmick! But I still recommend reading the GDocs version.)

When your life is as dull a gray as the world that surrounds you, the mundanities can make it all seem meaningless. Sometimes all we need is a little color -- or six -- to reintroduce us to what truly makes life worth living.

*6-16-2017 Edit, added Rainbow Dash tag because it triggered knighty.*

Spike orders a How-To guide book to win Rarity's heart. Will Spike be able to follow all the steps like a true gentlecolt? Will any of the steps actually work? And just what is Rarity looking for in her friendship with Spike, anyway?

Image by VanilleCream at DeviantArt (used by permission).

Totally awesome fanart by Multiversecafe found here: http://multiversecafe.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Woo-your-Lady-in-9-Easy-Steps-285329019

Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of Hard Cider's "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

One day, his only employee quits, and he's forced to hire a new one, starting a new awkward relationship with Lyra, who needs cash. What follows is a lighthearted fic with dark undertones that I hope you'll enjoy.

And if I haven't convinced you enough by this point, no, this not a clopfic.

New cover image by mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here).