Skyrim guard travels the magical land of Equestria, making friends and foes, having adventures and lecturing about proper citizen behavior.

But how will our hero fare against the native ponies with such a short repertoire of phrases? Will he help the land or cause its downfall? Should we follow?

Of course we should!

***

Also, all comments saying anything about anything get a prize!

It is generally not intended for the Mechanicus to be the ones making first contact with a new race of Xenos. Brother Gentoo has the dubious honor of being stationed on Equus, for reasons that nobody can really explain, because the explanation was taken out back and shot by someone three or four links up the chain of command. Frankly, he's done this song and dance before. The Mechanicus are used to bending the rules a little to ensure that the Imperium's gears continue to turn.

This is how Brother Gentoo ended up being the one to make first contact with the inhabitants of Equus--a group of oddly-colored, unusually intelligent equines.

And then one of them asked him how lasguns work.

Davenport works to live and lives to work. Still, as the years tick away in the neatly arranged routine he's built for himself, he can't help but want something else, something more -- and while yet another day runs its course, memories and feelings leave him to wonder about the roads untraveled.

Welcome to Ponyville, Population One.

READ THIS INSTEAD

Has been republished ((again)) so I can submit other stories without waiting for the dreaded approval waiting time. Or I'm delusional, and that's not a thing. I was not. It really does work like that.

If you want to know why it was originally taken down, read the blog. ((Also my profile's comments. This shit is cringe))

244 likes 17 dislikes before the shameful snap I made ratings visible again 'cause ppl are still reading this for some reason.

New story of similar theme coming soon, so hold 'yer horses. But this time without the cringe. Hopefully.

Takes place in an alternate universe where princess Platinum, commander Hurricane and chancellor Puddinghead begrudgingly works together in threat of annihilation by the windigos to form Equestria without their advisor's intervention. However, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, as the desperate union continues to be plagued by ethnic strife between the three tribes, and constant border raids/skirmishes from their new neighbours begin to breed a culture of mistrust and paranoia.

One such raiders were the 'savage' eastern griffons; whose origins were hidden by the impassable eastern mountain ranges which cut the Equus continent into two. Wild tales and speculations came out of the mysterious eastern lands, as even the coasts were lined with mountains; seemingly to protect its vast riches from outsiders. Little did they know, the eastern lands did not hold vast riches nor fertile lands, but was a chaotic and violent collection of warlords, counties, dukedoms and kingdoms; all fighting for so long to the point that their original casus belli had been lost or forgotten due to time.

There was no creature in Equestria who could stabilise the isolated region; many griffons having fallen attempting to unite the vast lands. Luckily, the next ones wouldn't be Equestrian. (Yeah, you know where this is going)

Enter Bismarck and Mauser; the former having been forced into retirement by the boisterous Kaiser Wilhelm II, and the latter continuing to refine his rifle designs, and eventually witnessing his Gewehr 98 becoming the standard issued German rifle. The latter was a realist and an extremely gifted statesman; whilst the former was an inventor whose name would label the infamous "Mauser" small-arms company.

Can they unite the fractured eastern lands? Can they create a unifying identity to rally the apethtic citizenry? Can they fix the agricultural and economic strife? Can they turn their divided lands into a unified superpower? Of course they can.

* Erwin Rommel (Griffon)
* Winston Churchill (Changeling)
* Franklin D Roosevelt (Changeling)
* Queen Victoria (Changeling)

Disclaimer: First time writing. Writing on a phone. Harsh criticism is fine, just don't be unreasonable. Historical accuracy is thrown out the window to fit the narrative. Realism is also thrown out the window (goodbye immersion). Totally not a Gary Stu story with all the modern weapons (pretty much just a 'civilised' vs 'uncivilised' situation). The pony civilisation is not a fairy tale utopia. Lots of death. Research_all and add_equipment are used liberally. Victoria 2 (and hopefully soon Victoria 3) are referenced frequently (mostly in comments).

Cover art link: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Otto_von_Bismarck_by_N.Repik.jpg
(The image is free to use, and requires no permission nor request to use) (If you're a dum-dum and asking if I made the cover art, "ofc I didn't make the covert art.")

Featured 06/27/21 ("The world must've gone terribly wrong for something like this to happen...")

The world ended.

That, at least, is what it sounded like. Screaming, howling, and then deathly silence.

A month later, Cheerilee and Scootaloo emerge from their shelter in search of food. As they search among the dead bodies of their friends, only one question comes to mind:

Where are the unicorns?

--------

Written for the Quills and Sofas Cheerilee contest.

Featured on May 18th, 2021!

Lost in a new world, born in violence can an alien from another world, another universe acclimatize to the idyllic world of Equestria? And perhaps more importantly, can Equestria acclimatize itself to him, and everything his appearance brings upon their world?

You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

This story is a sequel to Anon’s a Villain and Wins

So, villainy was profitable the first time. Anon managed to wrangle up revenue from properties he owned, but due to how every pony was still a little pissed, they got some dope lawyers and kicked him out of the country. Thankfully, he’s still got his squad to back him up as he decides to come out of retirement and be a super villain in the Crystal Empire instead... that is, until some jackass tries to do it first.

This time around, there’ll be like, three chapters and an epilogue.
Warning: naughty no-no words.

Featured: January 7, 2021