Remedy, She/Her, writing bad fanfics since 2011 and not stopping anytime soon.
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The world ended.
That, at least, is what it sounded like. Screaming, howling, and then deathly silence.
A month later, Cheerilee and Scootaloo emerge from their shelter in search of food. As they search among the dead bodies of their friends, only one question comes to mind:
Where are the unicorns?
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Written for the Quills and Sofas Cheerilee contest.
Featured on May 18th, 2021!
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This is really good! If you’re willing, I’d definitely love to see more to this story!
Personally I very much enjoy darker, alternative scenarios with a lot of mystery over what sort of cataclysm has happened. On that alone I think i'd enjoy seeing this continued. However, to double that desire, I feel that this story needs more words and context to breathe a bit better, so a continuation would definitely help. As it stands it's a typical horror short - super bad thing has happened, ponies are holding out in a sanctuary, the end. It would definitely help to elaborate at least a little with further writing past this setup. I'm especially stricken by what is affecting unicorns specifically and why.
10820282
I appreciate the input, really. Thank you. I'm definitely leaning towards continuing it the more I think about it.
10820288
I'd love to see it!
As a reader, I feel that this story the author has marked "Complete" isn't so much a complete story, as a beginning. We learn neither why the unicorns have transformed, nor whether or how the surviving non-unicorns will or won't likely survive for much longer. I feel we're just left 98% hanging.
I agree that what you have is well enough written that I kept reading what there was for that reason. But that only makes my disappointment at the fizzle worse!
I think told you before already, but I'd definitely love to read more about this, especially because not every unicorn is afflicted by this thing happening, I'd love to know what the hell is going on, I need to know!
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Thanks for marking story as "Incomplete!"
Now it's an effective cliffhanger imho.
I'm Happy that Vinyl survived, I'm a HUGE fan of her's, so any chance we can get a run down of which ponies survived.
10820663
You'll probably get a full accounting over what ponies are in the castle over time. It's not a lot from Ponyville, though.
Ooooh, this is fantastic! I'd love to know what happened to Fluttershy and why Rarity wasn't effected. Sounds to me like the start of an incredible journey of a fic! I hope there's more to come!
10820714
The second chapter is already longer than the first
10820718
Heck yeah! It's gonna be great and I'm HYPED to read what happens next!
Hm. I'm curious. Please keep going!
The bit about the sun having stopped is so ominous, I'm scared
I cast my vote in the 'please continue,' camp. This is a great start to something bigger, and I'd love to see where it goes from here.
Yes, I want more!
Well done! Love stories like this where horrific cataclysms happen and there are much bigger effects going on in the world than just in Ponyville. If Twilight got turned into a monster, then this really doesn't look good for the other princesses.
Reminds me of a story where a group of dragons managed to brainwash nearly every unicorn in equestria into becoming essentially murder-addicts. If they saw anything that wasn't another affected unicorn, they attacked - it was described not as a rigid order, but as an irresistible temptation to draw blood. Some unicorns managed to avoid that, because the onset of the signal took a couple of weeks, and not all unicorns snapped at the same time. So some had their horns sawn off before they were affected in full.
Makes me wonder if that's how Vinyl stayed sane here.
I'll add another to the please continue list. Maby a backstory to tell how this came about (like spell gone wrong mutating sickness, etc since its only unicorns/alicorns effected) and maby working towards a cure. Maybe working with another race like the zebras who have alchemy.
Also "the sun hasn't moved" if Twilight was effected you know Celestia and Luna probably were too :)
I just need to know more lol. Any idea how long this story will end up being?
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Or she's already accustomed to dealing with magically-induced bloodthirst.
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I'd argue that openly stating the reason would detract from the horror.
As it stands, the implications of eternal day are already bad enough, especially if majority of unicorns are affected.
But it's the pure unknown that is the best part.
I would definitely like more of this
“And I looked and behold, a pale horse. And the man that sat on him was Death... AND HELL FOLLWED WITH HIM
Alondro gazes down on the... what is it now?... 999,999th Crapsack Equestria, "Eh, blow it up like the rest." He lazily raises his arm and fires a 'Super Ultra Anime Death Ball of Xenocide' TM and vaporizes the planet and its angst-ridden ruin to atoms.
One more blow'd up planet and Alondro gets a free Frogurt!
The Frogurt is also cursed.
10821304
Hey you got the title reference!
10821339
then Alondro woke up is his brain jar and remebered that his only use & porpuse under migo is gloriefied calculator and he is behind his qouta of π calculations
10821339
do you read the messages that you send
Needs more Explanation
I definitely feel that you have a solid foundation for a pretty good story here. I'd be very intrigued to see a continuation some time in the future. I do have to ask, however if you have an idea of where you want to take this?
10821554
Yeah I have a pretty solid idea.
10821544
Wouldn't be much of a mystery if they explained it.
turns out it's all a dream---the frogs are gay, everyone is high off their ass, and the Belgians invaded griffonstone. Hahaha...
whatchu mean them horses ain't me tripping?
"...And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."
I have a feeling that this situation is probably Twilight's fault.
Now this is something worth keeping an eye on.
A good start with this chapter.
10821167
That you would give such a description but no way to find this story pains me
10821783
Unfortunately, I don't remember what it was called - and what little odd snippets of text I can remember don't rattle google's memory either.
Well?, what are you waiting for? Continue!
Odd bit is Rarity is all right in the castle but the Unicorns outside are twisted. So its possible that the Castle is protecting her and if she went outside she would turn like the other unicorns. Turn that on its head and bringing one of these feral unicorns inside for a time and they might turn back. Now the other issue is how much food is inside the castle to support the population?
Dude I love post apocalyptic novels, this is gonna be good.
Did Rarity cut her own horn? That would be an interesting concept
This is the one time I must complain about the cover- it kinda gives away Twimonster. Its not even a spoiler because its on the cover
This wouldn't be a issue if it didn't have the charecters acting suprised by something they then describe intentionally vaugely, which is then ruined by the cover.
10821958
Not to mention that Vinyl is also there, being she is also a unicorn.
Okay. Well. You have my interest. Twilight apparently going batshit mad with power, transforming the rest of her former tribe into clones and killing the rest (or something going wrong with the ascension process to the same effect) is a new one.
10821783
10821796
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/73954/the-signal
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/104816/frequencies-to-end-the-signal
10822149
Missed Vinyl completely! Didnt miss that Octavia had not survived.
Ok, this definitely has my attention.
10821724
Purple horse gonna purple.
I would love to see more of this! Following :)