An IT manager with an embarrassing secret personal pastime (fanfic author) gets an unexpected video conference call from Equestria, and a strange request that he cannot refuse because:
1 - Twilight is asking, and
2 - Pinkie Pie won’t let him.

Two months ago, Anon was sent to Ponyville on Celestia's behest. Now, after not hearing from him, Celestia goes to investigate (a bit belated, sure, but without that plot point the whole story falls apart so whatever). She doesn't like what she finds. Neither will you.

Not a clopfic despite the sex tag, but there is a ton of filthy language and imagery here written by a filthier mind. You've been warned.

Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

In Tartarus, a rather unusual situation unfolds. After being banished to the prison plane of Equestria, an unusual entity comes to a horrifying realization. He should not be here, he’s a good guy!

Sure he caused some havoc, but he was trying to protect trees and forests from development. Yes he crashed a few parties, but the silverware didn't match. Indeed, it was he who stole all the socks that didn't match, but it was an affront and crime against fashion. Okay maybe invading Canterlot in order to deliver a letter was a bit much, but it was an important letter.

After all, he really needed to know who was best princess.

Nothing he did was all that evil, he really was trying to be good. How could he be a villain? Obviously this is just a misunderstanding, right?

(A one off humorous one shot)
Cartoon cover art is a PT test piece about Tartarus I made for physical therapy. I know it’s not that great!

The story in which you are an evil bastard of a human that refuses to pet adorable ponies.

AI Reading: Youtube Link

When Luna and Celestia visit Anon's house to check up on him, Luna has the bright idea of wanting to kill Anon. Obviously, Anon has no input in between their arguments and is completely ignored as they discuss Anon's murder.

Somehow, I've always known.

Cover artwork courtesy of Cloud-Drawings on DeviantArt.

My entry for the Dialogue-Only Contest!

In his pursuit to recreate a pleasure from home in Equestria, Anon lets ponies experience some of his memories. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

This story is a sequel to Anon runs the 1s with the bug queen

After 1v1ing bug queen and absolutely running her fade, Anon thinks he can now take on Sunny D. Why exactly? Well he beat up the over sized ant and that broke into his house, and Sunbutt lost to her so surely he can take on the number 1 cake eater in the world.

(I love taking a photo off the internet and putting GREEN over it, I am so original )
(Anon 1v1ing the bug queen is no longer a 1 shot i am truly getting desprate )

The bug queen has broken into Anon's house, he dose not like this and immediately starts boxing the house fly that now resides in his house. (spoiler the swiss cheese pony gets her ass beat)
(bad photo shop I know )