The stars will soon be right, releasing an ancient horror from its cage.

Twilight has something to say about that.

Has a reading done by StraightToThePointStudio.

When Twilight accepts Cheerilee's request for her to substitute teach, she quickly realizes the topic is "the birds and the bees". So, not wanting to let down her students, Twilight attempts to teach the subject to the best of her ability.

Sex tag is only there because the story dances delicately around the topic.

Don't want to read? Check out Clever Hooves' audio reading here!

You love to cuddle mares. Mares love to cuddle you. One batpony mare named Stella REALLY wants to cuddle with you. This is in no way negotiable and your night may or may not be ruined.

Base artwork by Ligerstorm, sourced to his DA.

FANTASTIC reading done by StraightToThePointStudio (Thanks again!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ojuquk9Md0

The fruit of Sweet Apple Acres are grown with skill, experience, and love.

That last part makes them nutritious for changelings, a fact which Applejack is only now about to learn. But the changelings themselves have known for a long time – after all, they are some of her closest friends.

Before Chrysalis can use the Mean 6 to take the Elements of Harmony, she must first go to her local McDapples and feed them with deliciously healthy fast-food. It doesn't go very well.

Also dapples are the small spots on horses. I don't know, I thought it was clever.

Spike learned years ago that he came from an egg. However, he was never told where foals come from.

To find out, he asked the pony that hatched him, Twilight Sparkle, the question of how foals are born.

Long story short: Rarity had to get involved. Not because she wanted to.

Last but far from least, special thanks to TheBrokenBrony for proofreading this story.

EDIT: featured through 3/11/21-3/13/21!!

She really should've expected these results.

Now featuring a reading by StraightToThePoint Studio! Thank you to them.

Angel Midnight wrote an unofficial sequel called The Royal Sisters Take A DNA Test. Go read it.

And if you wish to write your own sequel you may go ahead. All I ask is that you provide me a link when you post it.

Through wind and rain, down track and lane, Ponyville Postal delivers. No matter the weather, letters bring ponies together, and Ponyville Postal delivers.

Parcel Post faces his toughest assignment yet.

Did you know Fluttershy was made Royal Game Warden of the last remaining Royal Game Preserve in Equestria? Of course, she only has that title because the newly winged Twilight needed something with which to defraud the government, and that "preserve" is, due to centuries of neglect, actually the Everfree Forest, but that's not really important.

Until, of course, the Griffon Ambassador showed up at her door demanding her services as a hunting guide for his lunch.

Then it was a little important.

~~~You asked, you receive. Bonus chapter up~~~

Twilight has successfully created fake government jobs to help her terminally broke friends be less, uh, terminally broke. All they have to do is pass a simple little background check, just an easy little formality really. Should be no problem for these national heroes, right?

Right?

Well....

I guess the constituent parts of the cover art might be property of the federal gubbermint, but, honestly, I feel like I've spent enough on ATF tax stamps to make me stealing their crisp PNGs an equal exchange.