Some People Are Not Writers (Yet,) and That's Okay · 3:02am Apr 6th, 2016
I’m conflicted about this post, because it feels like I’m discouraging people, but it’s really just the opposite. I often see people worried about the fact that they're not writing; they don't have any ideas, or they can't stick to a schedule, or they keep using their writing time to do other stuff. I want people to spend their time doing things they enjoy, or things that are productive for them. And if those things aren't writing, I want them to understand that's okay, I've totally been there.
Conventional wisdom is that writers write. This can be interpreted a lot of ways: some people write every day, some people binge-write on their days off, some people write whenever they have time. And of course everyone has periods come up when they’re on vacation or have finals or have friends around from out of town, so sometimes writing doesn’t happen then. But the general idea is that someone who is a writer should be regularly writing things, rather than just thinking and talking about writing things.
I started writing my original fiction novel, with the basic characters and storyline, in February of 2001. I had just turned 18, and it was actually the first time I ever seriously considered “being a writer.” I was good at writing in school, and had been told I should consider it, but the most writing I had done that wasn’t assigned to me was trying to keep a journal (I never succeeded) and co-writing an ill-fated fanfic.
But I got an idea for a novel and I wrote for a few months at a pretty good pace. I got about a quarter of the way done, and then stopped. I had started tabletop gaming, and I met James, and it turns out that Susan Pevensie was totally right and boys are more interesting than Narnia any day. I accepted that I didn’t really have what it took to be a writer, and did other stuff.
A few years later, some of my friends were doing NaNoWriMo, and I decided to redo the setting I was using and start from scratch. I did a bunch of work on the outline and concept, and got maybe a week into November, but I got busy and stopped. Obviously I didn’t really have what it takes to be a writer.
This repeated several times over the next few years. Sometimes I’d try other projects in between, which met the same fate. I wrote and lost a lot of notes, both for my eventual novel and for other projects, in computer crashes and losing back-up disks. But I also tried a lot of things, and eventually ended up with a much stronger version of my original idea.
Then, about eight years after my first try, something reminded me of the idea, and I sat down and started writing it again.
And I didn’t stop. Writing was what I wanted to do. It’s been eight years now, and while I finished the novel and moved onto fanfiction, blogging, and working on another original fiction novel (with some breaks to poke at other ideas that aren’t fully baked yet) writing is still at the top of my list of things I actually like to do. I’d rather write than watch a movie, so I see about three movies a year. I’d rather write than watch TV, so I only watch two or three TV shows regularly. I had played Morrowind and Oblivion, but now games like that make me roll my eyes because I know how much not-writing time I would spend on them, and it’s totally not worth it.
This does wax and wane a little; most weeks I follow a handful of websites, but some weeks I get caught up writing and forget about most of them. I’ve taken vacations where I didn’t get any writing done, I have weeks where I get caught up reading something and don’t have time to write. But those are definitely the exception, rather than the rule.
I still have trouble finishing things. Since I write because I love it, I still have a hard time writing something when I don’t love it. This isn’t the best way to make money at writing, though I did recently figure out with Lost Time that if I want to I can write a novel in two months, if I plow through and don’t let myself stop. But I did eventually finish my first novel without that pressure, and I’m pretty sure that if writing is something you love to do, you’ll eventually end up writing something that you could, in theory, sell. Past that… writing isn’t a good way to make money, period.
But the important thing isn’t where I am now. The important thing is all those years I wasn’t a writer yet. Because sometimes I hear people talk about how they really should be writing more, or working on a project they started, and it reminds me of all those times I didn’t finish my novel, and I want to explain to them… maybe you shouldn’t? Maybe it’s not the right thing at the right time. Maybe you’re not ready yet.
It’s unlikely that anything you write is going to earn you money worth the time you put into it, so if you don’t love writing, maybe there are either more productive or more fun things you could be doing. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I suspect that simply living is better practice for being a writer someday than banging your head against a keyboard is.
And if you never get to be a writer… well, I think there’s a lot of baggage in the term “writer.” It’s both creative and intellectual, and I think a lot of people are drawn to it more as an identity than as something they actually love to do. But the work required to support that identity… isn’t the most healthy. You work alone until it’s time to show it to editors whose job it is to tell you everything you did wrong, then you send it out into the world where (if you’re a professional) probably no one will care as much as you do, or (if it’s fanfic) it might give you a jolt of endorphins for a week or so. If that’s what you love doing, I totally understand. It’s what I love doing. But if it’s not what you love doing, I don’t think it’s worth it just to keep the label of “writer.”
And once again, I’m not trying to discourage anyone here. I was in my late twenties before I loved writing consistently, and there are plenty of writers who start even later. One great thing about writing is it’s not a young man’s game-- typing is pretty much the same up until you’re well into being elderly.
Just as importantly, not being a writer doesn’t mean that you can’t write that fic that jumps into your brain, or read a ton of writing advice and participate in the community. It just means you shouldn’t pressure yourself to come up with something to do next, or even to finish that idea that pops into your head if you’re not feeling it.
I really think that a lot of people could save themselves some stress if they consider that they don’t need to be a writer yet, and there’s nothing wrong with that, and that doesn’t mean that they’ll never be a writer. And if it does mean that they’ll never be a writer, they didn’t actually want to be a writer to begin with, so it all works out.
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I do love to write. And this blog post has brought me one step closer to being okay with not writing every single day. Thank you.
Some nights, I am a writer.
I skim the darkened shores of creativity, drinking deeply from her intoxicating waters and spreading my works where all can admire my genius. It is a wonderful time, filled with joy as the words flow onto the paper without hesitation or flaw.
Then comes the morrow, and the look back upon the creature which I wrought. The feet of clay are obvious in the cold light of dawn, and that which seemed so glorious in the night doth have pimples and eczema now that it faces its creator. Still, it is my child, and I do not throw it out into the dark night. Instead, I pick up the tools of my trade and go to work, trimming here, polishing here, until the beauty which I beheld in the night doth peek out around the edges in the light. It is work, as hard as any which I have ever done before, but the end result is well worth the pain as the beauty I beheld in my dark intoxication doth shine forth in the light of day like a beacon.
Or at least until my editors gaze upon my works, and point out that which I am too blind to see.
Once more I return to my labors, polishing and working the words as the obvious flaws are reduced, and then the subtle ones, and at long last the ones which only I can see.
And then, and only then, am I truly a writer⁽*⁾.
--Georg
(Who has spent most of the evening working on Letters From a Little Princess Monster, so he's a little metaphorical at the moment.)
I don't suppose you've read Stephen King's On Writing? Fascinating book. He flat-out said some people are just bad writers and won't ever be great (or something to that effect). Granted, he's Stephen King; he can spit on a page (or 700 of them) and make lots of money[1]. Encouragement aside, I think your use of the word 'yet' is much more true to life.
[1]: I'm not ripping on Stephen King, I'm merely saying someone in his position totally could (and that maybe when it comes to concluding the Dark Tower series he basically did).
It's an interesting struggle to go through, and very difficult to try and judge from inside the struggle. I'm sure there have been times in conversations between the two of us when I've been at low points where you felt like maybe I should shift gears and be okay with not really being a writer. Lord knows I've had that mirror conversation with myself. And I'm also sure that at other times when things are going well it's clear how much happier and more content with myself and with things around me I am because I've been writing. It's a difficult question to answer, even at the best of times.
Only two cents I'd add is that if you're struggling yourself, and find that your answer is yes, you're pretty sure you are a writer, but it's still agony to get the words down, the best thing in the world might be tossing your desk and starting something new and radically different than what you've been doing. Might have a bad side-effect of making it difficult to finish things, but lashing yourself to a project that's emotionally sinking you isn't going to help.
I'm not a writer. I don't mind that at all! In fact, I sort of curse having ever tried!
When I started in FiMFiction, I watched and read and just... absorbed everything. Before the board changed, there used to be a reader's wordcount, and I proudly boasted over ten million words read! I was... very obsessed.
Then I tried to write. Wow. Uh... wow. It completely killed my happiness. The pressure, the disappointment, the constant edits and hating ideas after a month or so... ugh. UGH!
When I finish all of my incomplete stories, WHICH I WILL EVENTUALLY, I will return to being a reader. I was better at reading! Not as a critic, mind you... more of an appreciator of the art. I miss that me. I'd read every night for hours, write a blog note about how much I loved a piece, then binged on an author until I my head was swimming! I did that with Bookplayer, and er... Church? Um... so many back then. Wonderful writers with great stories.
I guess the part of writing that I haven't adopted is the need to keep reading. I'm just... so tired of trying to write. Like, it has killed my love for this place. Bother it all.
Much love!
I feel that I am a storyteller.
I don't say this to glorify what I do by applying some feelgood old-time-y term to it, as if I spend my days wandering from homestead to homestead, strumming my lyre and reciting the Iliad or something. I mean it very precisely: I have a powerful, inescapable, constant desire to tell stories. Sometimes I'll write them down. Sometimes I'll say them out loud, or write them out in chat with some of my exceptionally patient friends. Sometimes I'm the only person who gets to hear the story because everyone else has fled (can you blame them?). But there's hardly a moment where I'm not building some world, or sanding off a troublesome bit of plot. It's as automatic as breathing and just as difficult to stop.
So I wonder if the urge-to-tell-stories is the same as being-a-writer or are they different but related?
one of my favorite quotes from Dune:
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I would lean to related rather than the same. Stories can be crafted out of almost anything, from music to spoken word to chiseled rock. It's all a question of what tools you prefer to employ in the telling of the story
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A) We would all fund your patreon for this, and
B) You know, I bet no one here doubts that you can recite the Illiad.
Also, I knew a guy who was that kind of "storyteller." He kept trying to get people to hire him for events. But he also walked around town in a cape. He was not a normal person.
But as to your version...
I'd say it overlaps with being a writer. I'm sure there are some storytellers who don't have the gumption to sit down and write their stories, let alone edit and publish them. On the other hand, for the one who can muddle through those things I'd say it's probably enough of a push to make them writers. That would be my guess, at least.
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But, see, that's what I mean. If you don't like writing, you don't have to finish your stories. I mean, it would be nice if you did, and I'm sure people would appreciate it, but there's more than enough out there for them to read, and there are things you can do that you don't hate. And if you ever do decide you like writing, your stories will still be there.
Don't let it kill your love for something fun. It's not worth it.
The ideal or identity of something can be very alluring, especially something as romantic or thought provoking as a writer. The practicality of it determines the passion.
I've played with the idea of becoming a writer since, well probably 2001 or earlier... when I was in high school. I've started and scrapped many "novels" since then. But as your essay suggests, and it's something I've often wondered, do I really want to be a writer, or am I just draw to that identity? I still don't know, which probably means no, not yet. I'm perfectly okay spending days on end writing (I've spent my two and a half week vacation doing just that), but I'm also the person who somehow always ends up finding other things to do and spends the whole day annoyed because of that. You've given me something to think about, and I want to thank you for the clarity you've given.
Are any of your original fiction novels published or going to be published?
I can't decide if I needed to hear this or not.
Maybe I'll know ten years from now.
You're right, of course. I mean, when I tried to figure out how I started to falter in regards to ... well, everything I used to do and enjoy in FiMFiction, it was when I started Awards of the Heart as a serious story. I mean, I had this fantastic jolt of creative desire well up in me when I had originally conceived of the idea, but... I wrote a short story. It became momentarily popular, and folks wanted me to attempt at writing more. So I did, and the original idea started to wane.
After Season 3 and my publishing the first chapter of AotH, KitsuneRisu and I had jokingly talked about who would make the Featured page first. Although it had nothing to do with... anything, after all the smoke and bravado, I have to admit that I wish I'd never made light of the wager. It wasn't about ego for either of us, being fast friends and always driving each other to do their best - and I don't believe he thought much of it otherwise now, but... he's an author. He is a strong, capable writer, and I should have never made jest. He lived and loved the process before I even knew what it was, as he was my favourite author for ages. Me? I loved READING. I poked fun about eventually writing a silly story, trying at the art of my heroes, and... well, when you change the dynamic of a relationship, even in harmless ways... anyway.
I love the idea of writing my own stories! I've honestly tried at it here, and I have had a couple of moments when I felt I might have had a grasp of the concept, but... the practice is not to be trifled with by amateurs. Back in the day - like, as in 2012 and 2013, I was able to offer something remotely interesting to potential readers without being torn to shreds. Today, penning some one-shot comedy without fear of being panned... it's different now. Very different.
I do so enjoy creating scenarios for stories! Admittedly, I stick with the well established canon as opposed to anything recent, but when I'm moved to put the beloved characters we know into weird and fun situations, I just... I have to try and write it down. The bad news? These days, the readers are so very educated and ... dare I say, a bit too hard-boiled? No mistake is missed; nary a punctuation error nor a canon slip gets by these new eyes, and I reel for the overwhelming knowledge some critics wield almost effortlessly. I wish I had that ability! I mean, it all stems from the same passion that empowers stories to begin with - readers of fiction hold writers accountable now, and it's impossible to pass off a harmless joke fic without concentrated evaluation. Fan fiction readers are as important as the authors themselves now, whether here or in other venues. The anonymous critic can be a volatile, venomous antagonist, that unfortunately has a point or two that sticks at the heart of an author.
It is painful to interpret sometimes. Or all the times.
I dunno. I feel like I'm still learning, and I should stay the course, but for all the online lessons and used books I've read, I am lacking. LACKING. Maybe the ideas that inspire me are dull? Perhaps my method is plodding or frought with mistakes?
I'm stuck where I am. I will finish my incomplete stories, and then? Then I'll see what happens, I guess. I don't want to quit. That's something, right? Right. RIGHT!
Last week I did a 10,000 word chapter, part of being on track for finishing 'Precious'. I'm also keeping up non-writing-related stuff (for instance, giving some guitar lessons, and I spent an afternoon mixing a song for a musician client, both tasks netting $40 an hour for very rare and sporadic values of 'hour'), and I'm trying to get the framework in place for what I'll do when 'Precious' is done.
Writing kicked my ass last week because I knew what the chapter needed, but it wasn't going to run short. It's extremely tough to both make the time-slots be there, and to get functional at the level I need (when zebras are involved, it's time to just curl up in a ball and weep: when you're A Writer sometimes you take on annoying burdens like epic or elegaic poetry as part of the work, and then you can't lay them aside unless you lampshade it)
I have a point to make about this, though. At the beginning of the year I was writing my first video-game (to be given away as part of that post-pone project) and I was crunching so hard on that task that I'd set aside the novel. This, despite taking pride in not missing updates.
It wasn't good for me. Part of that was because I had a psychotic and very troubled Pinkie Pie in my head, stuck like a fly in amber as part of the unfinished novel, but I've worked out the main problem wasn't even the characters staying on line. The problem was, I wasn't writing. The part of my psyche that develops these stories has to keep moving, and that could be done through worldbuilding and arcana and DnD-like systems-making, or it could be done through pursuing one storyline out of the many that could exist, but it's like a shark, it has to keep moving.
My point being, coming up with ideas is not the struggle. Some of us call 'em plotbunnies (from an old usenet group). Also, this is not the same thing as being READ, still less being celebrated. I write too fast and stick to one storyverse too long because that's what I like, and at this point I'm writing for people who see how deep the rabbithole goes, possibly years from now; people who are almost certain never to speak to me about it. There's something beyond 'seeing a result from your work' and I'm deeply into that zone with Trixieverse at this point, and hoping I manage a somewhat fresher audience for the next thing (even though it always comes with brickbats and thrown boots: that's how you know they're really paying attention)
You don't have to want to be a writer. It's honestly kind of a weird thing. I'm with Heinlein in thinking it's a sort of bug, an illness of the brain that's progressive and incurable. He was luckier as far as working in a time when people were paid for things, but other than that it's the same.
If you are becoming a writer, it's probably got you simmering and fussing and doing endless worldbuilding that doesn't translate to actually writing. That's okay. Learning to avoid literary mistakes, misspellings and such, is negative activity. It's a process of avoidance. The fussing over half-baked ideas is positive activity even when the branches you're building aren't able to support your weight. You can't ever, ever be a writer just by learning everything bad not to do. The process of writing is stranger and more naive than that, and eventually you need to dare to build those branches, go way out on them, risk being seen as 'bad'.
When you realise you are not the branches, that's when you learn to fly, and that's when you stop caring whether anybody considers you a writer or not.
Just a little something:
Thank you. In all sincerity and honesty, thank you.
I hope those words reach whoever out there needs to read them.
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A good writer but a bad storyteller can write non fiction well, but prose badly.
A good storyteller but bad writer is called a screenwriter and hello there
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The one I started when I was 18 will be coming out soon from a small press. It's actually been in editing for about as long as I've been on FiMfic, for a variety of reasons (and I'm not at all innocent in this,) but that's a blog post for another day. But it's finally made it to layout, and I can expect it out in the next few months.
Trust me, I will make sure every single person following me knows when it's out.
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You think I'm a bad writer? Fair enough. Can't really disagree.
Part of the struggle is that the word writer is used for two very closely related ideas. To simplify, the writer who enjoys writing and sharing stories (with the most overlap with the storyteller) and he writer who writes to make a living. If you want to be a money/for-living writer you do have to be writing a lot and near constantly. It can be done but you need to treat it like a job. However if you just enjoy writing as a hobby (not to mean that a hobby can't take great skill and effort) then the frequency and effort put into writing can be much more fluid.
Writing the novel in your head now or waiting until later. Both have upsides and downsides. If you write it now and then write another one later the second novel will be better because of the practice of writing that first one. On the other and if you wait until later the novel you write then will be better because life gives more experience, though the novel you write then will be told from a different perspective. Even if it has the same plot and characters the story written whe someone is a teenager will be a much different story than that same stiry written when the person is in their forties. Is the later one better? In a lot of ways it will be, but it means the world will miss out on the story the younger version would have told.
But really, the important thing is to not stress out about writing enough or constantly unless you are really dedicated to being a writer(career). Everyone else should write when and how they enjoy it and not let labels tell them how to live their lives.
I'm ok if I'm never a writer, but it's nice to remember that a lot of big names in the 18th and 19th centuries only wrote one or two books in their 30s or 40s.
Can wisdom be inconvenient? Yes. At least, it can feel that way. In truth, the thing about wisdom is that you're always better off for having listened to it. But honesty deserves honesty in return, and so I will say: I don't want to listen, bookplayer.
What you say is true, and yes, it might apply to me. Maybe. Probably. Who can say? Would I let them speak if they could? Probably not. I don't want it to be true. The man builds his castle in the sand, looking neither to the left or right for fear of spying the smooth rock, strong for building, in greater fear that he will force himself to forget he saw it. Why, I don't know.
Over the years I've thought about what you say here, both in regards to writing and other matters, such as my college degree. What marks the difference between the courage to forge ahead in the face of doubt and the cowardice to admit an incorrect choice? I'd like to know which I am, but I'm too caught up, and only God probably knows anyway. His number is in my wallet, but it's funny how the phone stops getting picked up when you fear a topic surfacing in conversation.
I could take a crack at what some might say: your choice is your choice, or you will see or come to the answer in time. Preferred words of wisdom from the older to the younger. And they're true. Yet...knowing there's a well a mile down the road doesn't satisfy the parched tongue. Even so, what good is wisdom to the stubborn or hard of hearing?
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If you're a bad writer then my mother was a monkey Jesus impregnated on Mt. Olympus. I hope that sounds ridiculous, because so is what you said.
^.^
There are also those among us who love storytelling, who love writing even, but who have issues with procrastination, or distraction, or self-doubt.
I love writing and I love having written, but the act is still hard, daunting work, especially now that I have actual followers with actual expectations. Sort of like how I imagine crafting chairs or other forms of constructive, creative expression must be, you may enjoy it, but if you want a good finished product, you have to practice your technique, put in the effort, and create something that other people actually want to sit on. Ultimately satisfying, but still hard work.
And it turns out it's much easier to spend my time doing other things (browsing the internet, watching a movie, reading some other author's story, etc.) rather than committing the time to sit down and write, even if I know the payoff for writing is so much more, and that I'm not as bad a storyteller as I fear I am.
...I don't think people like me, ones who struggle with personal "blocks" that prevent them from doing what they know they want to do, are the ones that you're addressing, especially since I believe you've addressed procrastination and distraction and the like in a previous post, but I just wanted to point out:
For some people, writing IS a huge part of their identity and has a wonderful payoff, and the obstacle for them is just pushing through the distractions and the fear to actually sit down and write. It might be important to distinguish those people from the ones who genuinely don't want to write, or don't want to write often, and are feeling pressured by what they feel a writer "should" do.
...It's for similar reasons that I don't generally criticize authors who do things like, for example, spam poorly written comedies. If that's genuinely what makes them happy, more power to them. There's more than one way to be a writer, and the goal should be to do whatever makes you happy, whether that's finding ways to write more... or less.
Unless you're a committed professional, of course. Then you're primary concern is usually putting bread on the table. ~ Sable
Hmm, interesting and wise post. Makes a lot of sense and the advice is quite solid. I hope it helps people that are unhappy with what they are experiencing right now.
I really think you hit the nail on the head with one of the problems being the loaded idea attached to the word 'writer'. I became a lot more relaxed as I accepted that i'm not a 'writer', at most I'm an involved enthusiast. I write when I find time for it, I enjoy the experience, I like to hear what others think about it and, while I berate myself when I'm not writing enough, I try to not be stressed about my meagre production.
One of the illnesses of our society is the expectation that if you do something you'll have to do it professionally. The drive to excel is important, almost fundamental, and something that makes us grow as individuals, but we can't be amazingly good at everything (except some rare and very driven people) and accepting that will lead to happier lives.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that one should shovel out what objectively is dreck an be happy about it without ever improving, but that one can happily write, with most of the discipline involved in that activity, without stressing oneself about being a 'writer'.
3853611 Yeah, as I was thinking about it, the key difference is if there's something you'd rather be doing. Like, lots of writers have issues with distraction-- writing is work, and like any work, you'll often find ways to try to avoid it. But if you find that writing is (or would be) cutting into time you want to be doing something else-- whether it's watching a movie, or hanging out with friends, or participating in an activity, or playing a video game you just bought-- then you need to sit down and consider what you really want to be doing.
Because, when you think about it objectively, the payoff for writing isn't that big. Here on FiMfic it's maybe a week of attention for your story, if you're lucky, and then the occasional person finding it after that. Considering how long you have to work for that, if there's another way you can have that much fun, you really should be doing it. It's probably a much more effective use of your time.
On the other hand, for some of us nothing else seems that fun. Or there are other things that we enjoy about having finished a story that stack on top of that to make it worth it. If that you, you need to deal with the things that are keeping you from writing, but you should absolutely try because it'll be worth it.
So it comes down to whether writing is the best use of your time in terms of hours spent vs. personal enjoyment.
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You can't counter my self deprecation with self deprecation that's cheating!
This has been knocking around in the back of my head for most of the week. For the past couple years I've been writing more than ever before, to the point that it's displaced some of my other hobbies completely. Sometimes I've wondered why that was, and I think you gave me the answer.
I'm a writer.
I might also be doomed.
I'm always telling myself stories in my head.
Always.
The ones I write down are the ones I feel are the ones worth sharing with others.
I love writing. I love the sense of accomplishment I get from writing. I love the words going out onto the page. I'm always excited about writing my next story, and annoyed at myself at how adept I am at doing things that are less fun than writing.