Pipe Down · 4:58am Oct 22nd, 2013
If you've followed me, then you might know that Pipe Down is my favorite character to write. "Why?" You ask. Simple, he's too old for this crap. It doesn't matter what it is, or when it occurred, he was too old for that crap when it happened. I'll be using this blog post to keep track of my Pipe Down fics.
1.Letters From the Equestrian Decency Association Pipe Down is too old for a bunch of hooligans' crap.
2.Pipe Down's Cutie Mark Pipe Down had a bunch of crap happen to him when he was young. He was too old for that crap, even at 25
3.Pipe Down Cheats Death Pipe Down is old. Old enough that Death feels the need to do something about it. Pipe Down is too old for Death's crap.
Is there something you like about one of my Pipe Down fics? Is there something you want to see in my next Pipe Down fic? Is there any crap that Pipe Down is not too old for? The last one is an obvious 'no', but you can let me know your thoughts on the other two questions.
I kinda want some contrivance to happen where the princesses appear on Pipe Down's lawn. He can then either tell the damn kids to get off his lawn or invite them as they are old like him but just happen to look young. Actually, a story where the princesses act like horrible old women sounds like all sorts of fun.
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Doesn't matter how old they are, he's still too old for their crap. I could probably have them trying to talk to him about tax evasion.
Edit: I just learned a new, beautiful word. Contrivance. It is an awesome word. Thank you for that.
You know, you can always make a group for your Pipe Down stories. There isn't a group for him, so maybe you can make one?
As for what he is too old for... write a story where he and Granny Smith talk about the good old days, maybe?
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I have insinuated that he was married to an Apple. That could work, but it would also be a very sad fic.
Pipe Down
Pipe down gets caught up in an experiment by a certain purple unicorn. He's hit with a spell that makes all the mares want him. They come from all across Equestria looking for that DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
But Pipe Down's too old for that crap
Pipe Down tells the little foals how their parents met, in rather shocking graphic details.
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I actually think I could make it funnier if it was just Rarity.
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I can work with that. Twilight accidentally covers him in a pheromone that she's been experimenting with.
1442815 I just want to see a foal traumatized for life, I don't care who.
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!
Yep. Infinite crazy, over-the-top ideas at your disposal
Why do you think I followed you?
No! not cause I thought you needed help
. Because I like the wacky nature of your antics. Kinda reminds me of me but with a lighter tune 
.
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I try not to limit myself.
But I do really enjoy being wacky.
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So many links... MUST CLICK THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think all people who frequent the internet have a Pavlovian response to links.
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....
1444046
...Did you just read "Injured"?
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! 
.
No... dat comment
But seriously. It takes a real piledriver to my shriveled up heart to extract any feels. People constantly make me watch sad documentaries, movies, listen to sad music... None have broken me (yet). Not even the death of the best grandpa in the world. If you get any feels out of me I will go to wherever you are and personally worship you as the feels god
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Have you tried "Schindler's List"? It is the only movie to get so much as a tear out of me.
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Like I said. I've had many challengers.
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It's not about Pipe Down, but I just traumatized Sweetie Belle.
Hmm
Diamond tiara
Another death thing
Pinkie pie party
Rainbow dash crashing into his tobacco fields
Hmm sale ponies
Protesters
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Diamond Tiara
"Back in my day, we didn't put up with young'ns' crap."
Another death thing
"Really, you're back again? I'm tired of this crap."
Pinkie pie party
That is a lot of candles on that cake. (fire marshal gets a call.)
Rainbow dash crashing into his tobacco fields
And we never see her again.
Hmm sale ponies
"Don't care what that crap is, I'm not buying it, and I'm too old for it."
"But sir, it's very affordable life insurance."
"Ha!"
Protesters
"Don't you have a better place to do that crap at? Get off my lawn."
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Heh
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-protesters-
Not until you stop farming tobacco
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-blows smoke ring in their faces-
"Let me see your permit."
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*gives obviously fake permit*
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-flips permit over-
"Why is this written on the back of a coupon?"
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Cause ...
*grabs flamethrower*
TO THE FIELDS YOU MIST DESTROY THE NIGHTMARE MOONS'S CROP
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Pipe Down smiles, and fills out an insurance claim. He then fills out a police report, and finds a greedy lawyer.
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RUN AWAY
THE MIGHTY ALL KNOWING CELESTIA SHALL THANK US
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Celestia presides over the court case. She is very disappointed in them.
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SHE IS AN IMPOSTER BURN THE FAKE
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I think we can leave it at that.
1444556 agreed
That was fun
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Agreed, you'll get a collaboration credit.
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YAY