Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCXXI · 11:18pm Dec 15th, 2022
By some miracle, I finally 100%-ed the survival-survival horror game The Forest (“survival-survival” because it’s a “survival game” like, say, Minecraft but also a “survival horror” game like Resident Evil). I promptly moved on to another title, which led me to playing the little-known Indonesian horror DreadOut. For those of you who don’t know, which I imagine is all of you, DreadOut is essentially a bootleg Fatal Frame: ghost opponents, a camera as a weapon, and lots of folklore, except this time all the folklore is Indonesian instead of Japanese. A poorer quality title in many ways, and the dubbed voice acting is mostly atrocious, but it’s an endearing game regardless for a fan of the genre like myself. Moreover, I happily welcome games from places that we don’t normally see them from.
I bring this up for only one reason. In Act I you’re roaming an abandoned, haunted high school. In the midst of dealing with ghosts and ghoulies, I come to an area where I have to find a key with minimal hints, which leads me to scouring every nook and cranny for five minutes. And what should this little search lead me to find?
That’s right. You’re looking at a Pony Maker alicorn OC.
I’ve got to admit, that tickled me. Kinda ruined the mood, but I don’t mind. It was an entertaining reminder of the global reach of this fandom. I have to wonder if that got slipped in without anyone knowing or raised to management first.
That’s all I got for this week. Let’s get to those reviews.
Stories for This Week:
There are spots on the sun by keroko
The Blueblood Papers: Royal Blood by Raleigh
The Architect's Wings by mushroompone
The Cookies Know All by PaisleyPerson
One Night in Buckkok by stillinbeta
Total Word Count: 250,757
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 3
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
There are spots on the sun
4,505 Words
By keroko
Celestia has a deep bond with the sun. What happens to one tends to happen to the other. Right now the sun is going through a, er, “phase”, and that means dapples appearing all over Celestia’s coat. She’s always found them embarrassing and has spent her centuries of life hiding them. Today is no different… Except that she’s in a relationship with Rarity, who when told to leave Celestia alone for a day is bound and determined to do the exact opposite.
This one is short and sweet. Celestia finds her spots embarrassing. Rarity makes it abundantly clear that they are anything but. It’s a nice little lesson in what I suppose may qualify as body positivity, spiced up by a pleasant romance between the Solar Diarch and the Pony Everypony Should Know. It’s got great characterization of both protagonists to boot.
The one and only issue is a number of writing problems. I can’t tell if they are typos or if keroko genuinely thinks the mistakes are not mistakes at all. Given that most of the latter half of the story is error-free I’m willing to believe the former, although the incorrectly capitalized title does give me doubts.
If you’re looking for a somewhat uncommon ship, a light romance story, or simply find the idea of Celestia being dappled appealing, this will certainly do for your needs. It’s pleasant, delightfully characterized, and short enough to not outlast its welcome.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Mostly unrelated: I miss Silfoe’s art.
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
The Blueblood Papers: Royal Blood
212,967 Words
By Raleigh
Sequel to Blueblood: Hero of Equestria
Thanks to his near-death experience and heroic record in the war effort so far, Blueblood is allowed some time off as Commissar of the Equestrian Night Guard to rest and recuperate back in beloved old Canterlot. But it is only a brief respite. Soon, Blueblood knows, he will have to don the black uniform again and head out to the battlefield. What is coming will be the single bloodiest battle of the war yet: the Siege of Virion Hive.
Royal Blood continues the story of Prince Blueblood and his role in the war against the changelings, starting almost directly where the previous entry left off. Despite being half the length of its predecessor, this story continues with the slow and gradual pace, resulting in only one battle (or two, if you want to be nitpicky). But that’s okay, because the drama surrounding that battle is a sight to behold.
As before, the story is told through Blueblood’s private memoirs, which means the narrative is constantly self-critical. Celestia, who is going through the effort of collecting the memoirs into a proper and legible book, adds her own words to the events every now and then. These are usually to clarify the context that Blueblood, being only a single cog in a much bigger machine, failed to recognize, or to bring up parts that he chose not to speak towards. Blueblood occasionally notes that he’s not being fully accurate with things, especially in regards to dialogue, due to how much time had passed between the events and his writing of them, which really helps with that particular issue common to journal-style storytelling.
I still thoroughly enjoy this depiction of Blueblood. He’s haughty, elitist, and is consumed with manipulating everything around him to ensure his comfort, station, and – most importantly by far – survival. Yet despite these things, he regularly shows an unflinching moral character that far outstrips his peers. For all his claims of being a self-serving coward, he regularly goes out of his way to help others, up to and including his worst enemies, and when he speaks in defense of Harmony he has the singular advantage of meaning it. He helps Princess Twilight push reforms to better the military, he all but adopts a native colt, and he helps set up a local government for a conquered territory that worked so well Celestia claims future such governing bodies were modeled off it. He might have his flaws, but they only serve to make him more interesting.
Then we get to the battle. In this story we see the concept of warfare evolving for both sides, moving on from swords and shields to muskets and cannons. And also, chemical warfare. The war is advancing from medieval concepts to World War I trench warfare, with all the fresh new gruesomeness that entails. Raleigh pulls no punches here, forcing Blueblood into the thick of the worst bloodshed – and not unmarred, I note – and making sure we understand that this isn’t Appleloosa’s pie showdown. Ponies and changelings alike will die in droves. It will be brutal. There will be plenty of blood. The battle is a somewhat extended affair, starting with the act of merely getting into a good position (itself a bloody activity), the long siege, the actual assault, and continuing onwards with the occupation which, in some ways, is a battle all its own. I appreciate what Raleigh is doing here. The war is changing, the way it is fought evolving, and it works well to mirror the evolution of Blueblood himself.
Backing up a bit, recall that I mentioned Princess Twilight Sparkle. Here I remind that she was not a princess in the previous entry. This and other events within the story demonstrate that the events of the show remain ongoing. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but we’re at least up to Season 5 with confirmation that the CMC have their cutie marks by the final chapters. Blueblood regularly interacts with assorted characters from the show, including gaining the unexpected but not unwelcome friendship of the Crusaders, assisting Coloratura in putting on a charity show for the soldiers, working with Maud Pie to undermine (in multiple definitions of the term) the hive’s defenses, and even developing what might be a crush on Equestria’s newest princess. All of this is entirely unexpected, but Raleigh makes it work wonderfully. I especially appreciated how Blueblood gets the help of none other than Derpy to resolve the big climactic issue of the entire story, it was a nice touch.
Then we get to the villains. Of course there are the changelings, who in this story are much more interested in doing things the changeling way than they were previously, although still not to near the degree you’d expect for a race that thrives on secrecy and deception. I found it strange that the changelings didn’t take advantage of the chaos of battle to do the utmost damage to the Equestrian “invaders”. I mean, sure, they did some infiltration, mostly of civilian groups, but come on, you think any officer fighting for his life is going to pause in the thick of battle to cast a detection spell on the Equestrian soldier that just showed up next to him? It just feels like Raleigh isn’t bothering to utilize their true potential.
Even so, what we get is pretty good. Pitched battles and tenacious sabotage are in the works. It amuses me that Blueblood tends to not worry about such things… at least until they directly threaten him in some way. Which, y’know, cog, big machine, not his jurisdiction.
More interesting are the ones that come back. An old enemy from the previous story returns to haunt Blueblood even after being ‘dealt with’, for example. But the best part in this regard is easily Second Fiddle, a weasley little glory hound of a Commissar who makes Blueblood look like a saint. Worse, Luna somehow saw fit to make him Blueblood’s superior officer, although being a prince does grant him some leeway in this regard. This guy was interesting to watch all on his own, but I’ll admit I never saw the height of his villainy coming. I mean, it was obvious he was bad, but Luna on a bike. Seeing Blueblood use his new connections built throughout this story – his friendships – to outdo Second Fiddle’s gross xenophobia and bloodlust was nothing short of delightful.
At this point I feel like the review’s going too long, so I’ll summarize my feelings thus: Royal Blood is an excellent continuation of this series. I looked forward to it every day, and in the end I abandoned my schedule to get through the climax and conclusion because I was just enjoying it that much. This version of Blueblood is a great character to root for, the action is well-paced when the time comes, and the drama outside of direct conflict is great from start to finish. The sheer size of the series so far may intimidate some people away, but I reassure you that it’s worth the price of admission.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Blueblood: Hero of Equestria — WHYRTY?
The Architect's Wings
24,657 Words
By mushroompone
Ponies have begun to explore the stars, terraforming planets and preparing the universe for the inevitable great pony expansion. Rarity has decided she wants to be one of those pioneers, and so abandons her fashion career to pursue an apprenticeship as a potential Architect, i.e. a designer of planets.
This one is curious. It takes a little while to realize that this is a complete AU, i.e. a world wholly different from anything we know from the show. The Mane Six are not close friends and most don’t even know one another – as demonstrated by how Fluttershy and Applejack make no appearances whatsoever. Rarity and Twilight were friends in their Canterlot foalhood, but went their separate ways, and now Rarity is close friends with fellow “pioneers” Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. In the story, Rarity is accepted for an apprenticeship position and is reunited with her “teacher”, Twilight Sparkle, who is a full-fledged Architect already.
And by the way, becoming an Architect means becoming an alicorn.
Focusing on Rarity as the protagonist, the tale follows her, Twilight, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash as they begin working on Rarity’s personal “applied study” project involving capturing and terraforming an asteroid for mining purposes. One part of the story follows the actual work involved and exactly how a bunch of magical creatures go about terraforming an asteroid into a habitable space, no spacesuits required. The other half is about the relationship between Rarity and Twilight. No, this isn’t a shipping story, unless you count friendshipping. While the first part focuses heavily on the literal worldbuilding, the relationship of Twilight and Rarity eventually comes to the forefront as the real point of all this.
I come away with mixed feelings. While I feel like the friendshipping drama was worked well, I also feel like the setting was… Maybe ‘rushed’ is the right word? This is clearly a science fiction piece, but the actual science is largely handwaved. Very little of how this society functions is actually explained, for example. It sounds like there’s some advanced organization that is going out there and just… making planets, creating entire cities and the like on far off worlds. Yet it’s made abundantly clear that this construction is vastly exceeding capacity, meaning there’s nopony to actually live on these planets and in these cities. So why are they being built? Just because?
And then there is space itself. Clearly, in this AU celestial objects and physics in general don’t behave in any way we are aware of. Twilight literally throws planets around and the story acts like this won’t have any impacts on anything at all. Rarity casually mentions stealing a moon that “nopony will notice”. Anyone with the barest hint of understanding of physics will note that these kinds of things would matter. A lot. By the description, it almost sounds like planets are immobile, yet the whole point of moving planets is so that their gravity will impact an asteroid, yet somehow that same gravity isn’t affecting everything that isn’t an asteroid?
Let’s not even get started on how an interstellar trip that in the real universe would amount to years and years of absolutely nothing will, in this AU, involve passing by a continuous assortment of planetary bodies.
I’m willing to grant that all of this could be excused by this being an alternate universe where the rules are different. In the show, everything points to the sun and the moon not being able to move via the common laws of physics, so there’s certainly precedent. I’d just like to get some confirmation of that is all.
I suppose Pinkie and Rainbow are another issue. Why are they in this story? What purpose do they serve? Practically speaking, they serve as part of Rarity’s team to terraform the planet, but what benefit do they provide the story? I’m not sure, especially considering they’re outright abandoned in the final scenes without so much as an appreciative comment on their contributions.
Also, what happened to Rarity’s apprenticeship? Her career? The story acts like she’s going to continue her work, but doesn’t she need to be part of the program to do that, and did she not put her involvement in said program at phenomenal risk with her final, months-long stunt? Why aren’t she and Twilight acknowledging this issue at all?
I imagine at this point you’re all thinking I didn’t like this story. Not at all, I greatly enjoyed it. From the complete re-imagining of the common Equestrian setting to Rainbow crafting an actual atmosphere from only a puff of oxygen to Rarity’s and Twilight friendship drama, there’s so much to hold our attention. mushroompone’s underlying plot and character work is great as always. I just wish the setting had been more… stable. As a worldbuilder, I find I enjoy exploring new settings a lot more when they make sense within their own internal logic. In that regard, this story handwaves far too much for me to buy it all, which is a shame.
If you’re the kind of sci-fi nerd who wants your fantasy to make sense, you may have trouble swallowing this. But those of you who are willing to run with whatever is happening? You may get something out of it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Radiowaves — WHYRTY?
The Haunting of Carousel Boutique — WHYRTY?
The Cookies Know All
2,041 Words
By PaisleyPerson
When Ponyville’s first Chineighse restaurant opens up, all the Mane Six decided to give it a try. And that’s when Pinkie discovers fortune cookies. Now the Pink Terror is convinced that fortune cookies are 100% accurate, and she’ll prove that to Twilight come Tartarus or high water.
With a summary like that, you’d be nuts not to expect this to get real silly real fast. I could see them making an episode about this if it weren’t for the risk of getting accused of stereotyping in some way. PaisleyPerson doesn’t avoid all potential negatives either, given that Rarity is depicted as looking down on “Chineighse” restaurants as a generally inferior option for cultural/societal reasons.
Also, dialogue. 90% of this story is just that. There are times when the screen is filled with nothing but talking heads as characters go back and forth with barely an effort to identify speakers, much less create some sort of narrative atmosphere.
As long as you’re willing to look past these issues, you may be entertained. I mean, it has Pinkie attempt a jail break because a fortune cookie told her to. The author could have done more, such as putting a little greater focus on Twilight’s situation. I mean, it’s expressly stated that Twilight has a great fondness for Chineighse cuisine and fortune cookies hold a certain nostalgia factor for her. It feels like that could have been used to create some sort of message against Pinkie’s behavior, but PaisleyPerson merely focused on the funny.
But again, as long as the funny is all you care about, you may get something out of this. I certainly can’t hold that against anyone. Jump in and enjoy Pinkie being Pinkie, if you’re so inclined.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Every Ship Needs an Anchor — Worth It
Home — Worth It
My Scrappy Little Mutt — Worth It
The Seventh Element — None
One Night in Buckkok
6,587 Words
By stillinbeta
The time has come. Rarity is going to finally get the surgery she’s been waiting years for. It’s a terrifying prospect, but she has her dear fiancée to help her get through it.
Why are Sunset and Rarity traveling to Bangkok – sorry, Buckkok – to have this surgery? Unclear. What is the surgery? That’s never expressly stated, although there are enough clues that you can probably figure it out. Is this story about a surgery? Not at all.
Oh, yes, on the surface this is a story about Rarity preparing for a surgery. But in reality it’s a story about the relationship between Sunset and Rarity, particularly as seen through Sunset’s eyes. It’s about the fears that arise when the unknown stands before you, it’s about how so many people feel terror even though all evidence makes clear that they’ll be perfectly fine. It’s about how, when the ones we love are on the line, there is no such thing as “safe enough”. But mostly it’s about how Sunset and Rarity are so deeply in love, how well they understand one another, and how they are always and ever supportive of each other.
This is a romance, pure and simple. It’s not ‘traditional’; there’s no wooing, minimal relationship drama, no big confessions. It’s just two people taking an important step in their lives, which is all it needs to be.
I’ll admit, for the first half of the story I was annoyed by how cagey the author was being regarding what the surgery was. It’s one of those things where an author goes out of the way to absolutely not under any circumstances be specific or, God forbid, actually have characters reference the thing they’re talking about directly like normal human beings would. But stillinbeta does a decent job of avoiding the worst of this. It’s very rare to see an author handle it in a way that doesn’t feel unnatural, but I think this story gets about as close to it as we can hope. If nothing else, kudos for that.
I’ll grant that, in the end, what the surgery is isn’t really the point of the story. At best, it’s just a little extra spice to keep the story interesting. At worst, it’s pandering. I’m less inclined to believe that worst case scenario, though; anyone who was pandering would have spray-painted it as a hook across every surface in big, bold, neon colors, whereas stillinbeta is instead being all subtle and wink-wink about it. As such, I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I liked this overall, but I also think it’s something I’d have to be “in the mood” for in order to fully appreciate. You’ll have to be willing to accept a lot of melodrama around a hospital visit. I say that in a crass way to hammer home the point; some people are going to see this and think Rarity and Sunset are blowing the whole thing way out of proportion. Which is why I emphasize that the surgery isn’t the important point of the story: the relationship is.
I’m rambling. Every time I think I’m about to end this review, something else pops to mind. But that’s a good thing, right? Any story that makes me think is doing something right.
Enough! I shall say no more. I enjoyed this, the characterization is great, give it a go and make up your own mind. Or just enjoy it, if you’re the romantic sort.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Graph Theory — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
Wonderbolt by WovenWord
Fallout: Equestria - Make Love Not War by hahatimeforponies
The Opening Act by thedarkprep
Hereafter by Fluffette
Wake-up Call by Cyrano
Echoes of a Song by Loganberry
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Wow, thanks for another in-depth review!!
First off, I'm floored by that screenshot. If that has been me, I think I would have lost it. It really is hard to square what feels like such a tiny corner of the internet with the nearly global reach we once had. I still remember the days when a new story would only linger on the front page for a few minutes before being pushed out by someone else's fic - now it feels like stories are languishing in the "new" column for days.
Second, you called it - the concept behind The Architect's Wings came from the nagging weirdness of the sun and the moon *needing* to be moved by pony magic. In my mind, the story takes place an unfathomable amount of time in the future, a point after the universe has "stopped" and needs to be "restarted". I had written it with the idea that everything in the universe had, after an exceedingly long period of constant expansion and motion, finally reached its natural resting point, and that it needed energy (in this case, magic) to start moving again. It is by no means a perfect premise, and my limited knowledge of physics at that scale led me to mostly disguise this premise to allow the characters to take center stage. It is absolutely a story and world that I'd love to return to and expand upon - it needs more space to breathe and be explored, in a lot of ways.
I'm glad you enjoyed it though! It was written for a friend of mine who is more of a fantasy fan than a sci-fi fan, so it's funny that you sensed her influence on the genre in that way :)
This site always needs more Rarelestia.
I miss Silfoe too.
I know nothing about One Night in Buckkok, but I suspect from the context I can make a pretty good guess of the general area of what's happening. Which is fine, though I too get irritated by authors who keep stuff away from the reader long after it would have come up in natural conversation -- but I'm more interested in the fact that the characterisation is great. Might give that one a look. Possibly the SF one as well, though it would have to be when I'm not too bothered about the handwaving you mention.
And then there's next week to look forward to! The way you do your classification means I already know one thing you'll say, but I'm very interested to see what else is in there.
5703531
I know exactly what you mean. The main reason I keep a FIMFiction tab open at all times is as a layover from back when you had to check in roughly once every thirty minutes just to keep up with the new material and comments that were popping up. I'm gradually weaning myself off that practice, but Firefox is still set to open FIMFiction by default as my "home page".
An interesting premise. It kind of ignores the whole "gravity" thing, although I suppose if you made "magic" a required factor of the strength of "gravity", and then made it so that the further apart objects are from one another the less "magic" they have to power their "gravity" in the first place... yes. This could work. With some tweaking. But I have to note that if the celestial bodies were that far removed from one another (assuming real-world spacial distances) there's no way Rarity would witness a constant slideshow of planets and stars and nebulae looking out her spaceship's window. Even if going fast enough to pass all that up that quickly, they'd be going so fast they wouldn't be able to see any of it. But still, it's a fantasy, and fantasies aren't necessarily required to make sense.
In any case, I certainly enjoyed the story overall. Looking forward to whatever else I end up reading next out of your library!
5703540
Not my favorite ship by any means, but as a shipper I won't deny taking plenty of pleasure out of it!
5703589
Next week? What about next week? I have no idea what you mean.
An interesting batch of stories this week, the blueblood one made me curious, because I’ve always been interested in those Equestria and war kind of stories, and seeing blueblood in a new light is quite a delight. Also, seeing it such good reviews is a mark that I should start reading it. Alas, studying is my top priority, and I can’t read loooong fics when there is so much work to be done.
But I will remember this, I have been through pony works like Fallout:Equestria, Past Sins, Background Pony and original stories like the entire Oz series on my kindle a few years ago. I could manage this someday.
Also that screen cap is so amazing, I am going to show it to my brony friends. And I believe that we COULD be more influential again, if we just get more people to recognize our stories.
5703531
I think you mean the feature box, because from where I see, there is new work being enjoyed almost every day.
And quite a few of them get enough attention for good discussion.
5703540
You’re right, it’s a delight to have the the marshmallow ponies together.
And I remember the artist who drew the cover art of that story DID in fact ship Rarity and Celestia on their Tumblr ask blog years ago.
It's interesting to be reminded that things that seem obvious to the informed can be completely opaque to outsiders. As someone with some connections to the community, there was no ambiguity or cageyness about it at all. The terminology was very direct, if you know what the terms mean
5704457
I was thinking the same thing. Reading those questions made me realize that common knowledge stuff is still not common outside our community. I still like that things weren’t over-explained. The story felt very natural.
5704457
5704540
This is all perfectly understandable. I'm not in the club and thus don't get all the lingo. And I did eventually figure it out through context.
I find myself thinking of an analogy: a football expert being asked to referee an American football match. Not sure if that fits the situation, though.
5704542
I think that’s a fair analogy. That said, would love to see that commentary