After disastrous events in Istanbul, 007 ends up in Equestria.
Commander James Bond was one of MI6's top operatives. Having succeeded in countless missions and bringing down international terrorists such as Le Chiffre and Dominic Greene, Bond is sent to Istanbul to retrieve a hard drive containing the names of every agent involved in undercover affairs. The hard drive in question has fallen into enemy hands, and it's his job to get it back.
After disastrous events in Istanbul during the mission, James finds himself in an unfamiliar land, and soon becomes entangled in a tale of international espionage.
Only one man can protect Equestria and its princesses in this new time of crisis, and his name's Bond.
"This is the end... hold your breath and count to ten."
***
The door was ajar. Not a good sign. Raising his gun, James Bond crept towards the room, apprehensive about what could lie inside. Ronson has kept radio silence for ten minutes, so something must have happened. Staring straight down the sights of his weapon, 007 burst into the room.
It was as bad as he had expected. One agent, lying dead, and Ronson, the second, sprawled out on a chair, slowly bleeding out. Quickly checking the room to check it was secure, Bond picked up the laptop, looking for the hard drive that had caused all all of this trouble. It seemed to have been torn out. "The hard drive's gone," he relayed through his earpiece.
"Are you sure?" M's cold, calculated voice came into his ear.
He picked up the computer, checking underneath. "It's gone," he said, throwing it to the side.
"One second." Picking up a towel, he walked over to the slowly dying agent. "I'm helping Ronson." He smiled at the man, before covering his wound.
"No Bond, you have to get going!"
"I have to stop the bleeding!" he snapped, making sure the towel was in place. He smiled at Ronson again, before setting off. He moved quickly through the building, making sure there were no hostiles nearby, before stepping out into the streets of Istanbul. Almost immediately, a dark grey Land Rover came screeching round the corner. The passenger door popped open, inviting him to enter, and he obliged.
Sitting in the driver's seat was his fellow agent, a young woman. He still didn't know her name, but now was not the time for introductions. As soon as he sat down, she slammed her foot on the gas pedal, roaring off in pursuit of a black car in front of them.
"He's in the black Audi," she informed him as the drove through narrow city streets. Turning a tight corner, she clipped the wall, shearing the side mirror clean off.
"It's alright, we weren't using it anyway," Bond commented, still focusing on the black sedan. Almost immediately after he had said it, they clipped a market stall, breaking off the second mirror as well.
"Wasn't using that one either," she joked, increasing her speed as pedestrians scrambled to get out of the two cars' path. The terrorist veered to the right as she tried to ram him off the road. It was unsuccessful, however, and she cursed as she had to swerve to the left to avoid a fork in the road. The Audi took the right lane, and she could only watch helplessly as their view of him was almost broken by rows and rows of market stalls.
Without a word, Bond reached over and grabbed the wheel with one hand. As the two lanes joined to form one road again, he yanked on the wheel, sending the SUV crashing into the side of the jet black car. The plan worked, and the Audi flipped onto it's side before crashing to a halt. To his horror, James saw the driver's side door open. "Get down!" he shouted, just as the terrorist opened fire on them with an SMG. Flinching as bullets whizzed past his ear, 007 clambered out of the car and returned fire.
His target moved his attention away from James as two police officers on motorcycles hastily arrived on the scene. Shooting them down swiftly, he picked up one of their bikes and roared away. James, trying to keep up, thankfully spotted a bike of his own. He hopped on and quickly gave chase, leaving his fellow agent to follow in her SUV.
The terrorist darted quickly through back alleys and side streets, barely keeping his distance from Bond. Being blocked by a large van, he decided to ride up a set of stairs, soon emerging on the rooftops of Istanbul's Grand Bazaar. This didn't deter him, however, as he kept going along the tiled rooftops, barely slowing down. Noticing 007 on his tail, he took a sharp right, crashing through a window into the hallways of the Grand Bazaar itself. Pedestrians fled as the two rode through the narrow hallways, but thankfully the terrorist led Bond back outside onto the road, heading towards a small bridge.
As they approached, Bond noticed that his fellow agent had set up a roadblock, leaving the man he was chasing nowhere to go. What he hadn't expected, however, was for him to quickly dismount his bike and leap over the fence onto a moving train below. Sighing, and silently cursing himself for what he was about to do, he opened the throttle on his bike, crashing into the side of the bridge. He was sent flying clear of the bike, landing hard on the roof of the train. He almost rolled off, but managed to grasp the side at the last second.
Pulling himself up, he noticed the terrorist was a few cars ahead of him. Between the two of them was a large construction digger, and James was forced to take cover behind it as the man opened fire on him again. He returned fire, but only got a few shots off before running out of ammo. Groaning, he threw the gun away in frustration. Peeking around, he saw that the terrorist's magazine was empty. That gives me a few seconds, he thought, quickly climbing into the seat of the digger. Turning the cab around to face forward, he flinched and grunted in pain as a bullet caught him in the shoulder, but he shrugged it off.
"Bond," came his fellow agent's voice through his earpiece. "He's decoupled the cars, hurry!"
Slamming a lever forward, he smiled the arm of the crane came crashing down on top of the car in front of him, tearing the roof off. Quickly, he hopped out of the cab and sprinted forward, leaping into the carriage at the last moment. Startled passengers could only gawk as 007 readjusted his cuffs and pushed forward. He quickly reached the front of the carriage as the train went through a tunnel. There was a ladder, so he swiftly climbed up and onto the roof of the train.
Daylight hit him again as he leaped towards the terrorist, catching him off guard. The two of them fell over, Bond desperately trying to choke the man with the lanyard that held MI6's hard drive. He was unsuccessful, and was kicked onto his back as the train entered another tunnel. Bond threw a punch, but the man blocked it and jabbed him in the ribs.
The train roared out of the second tunnel, crossing a bridge, approaching a third. The terrorist kicked Bond away and tried to run further down the train, but James grabbed him. The two grappled, trying to throw each other off the roof of the train. 007 struggled, trying to get throw a good punch, but couldn't free himself from the man's grip.
There was a loud crack that echoed through the air.
James suddenly found himself free of his assailants hold, but now instead found himself falling through the air, his chest burning with pain. He saw the bridge and train above him, quickly passing out of sight as he plunged into the raging waters below. He drifted into the depths of the river, slowly floating away. As he quickly lost consciousness, he could only make out two words from his fellow MI6 operative through his earpiece.
"Vesper, she gave everything for you. Forgive her. Forgive yourself."
***
Many people wonder what death will be like. How painful it will be, and what will happen to them after. Some believe they go to heaven, others believe they are reincarnated as another form of being. However, no one could be one hundred percent certain what kind of experience death will be.
James had never been much of a spiritual or religious person, so the thought never really crossed his mind. Death for him was just another workplace hazard, considering that killing was one of the main reasons for his employment. It was bound to happen one day however. As he himself had said, "double-ohs have a very short life expectancy." Still, it came as a surprise when he found himself rapidly losing consciousness, plummeting from the roof of a moving train to the ravine below with a bullet in his chest.
And yet, for him, death felt distinctly... alive.
His eyes fluttered open tentatively. By the powers that be, 007 had somehow survived. Surprised, but confused, the secret agent took a moment to observe his surroundings. He seemed to be contained within a dark and dingy cell, the only source of light coming from a barely lit candle that sat on a table, on the other side of a set of iron bars. The cell was old, like the kind of thing people would pay to see in old medieval castles. There was a draft too, and Bond found himself shivering as he pulled himself up.
He sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his head. He had no idea where he was, or how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembered was plunging into a river, bleeding out from a bullet wound. The events leading up to then began to leak back into his mind. He was fighting that bastard on the roof of a moving train. Damn it, he thought. She must have taken the shot and missed. A list of possible scenarios ran through his head. He could have been brought here by someone, but who, he was not certain. Hell, MI6 could have dragged him back to the Tower of London for all he knew.
Standing up, he began to notice more about his surroundings. Namely, the roof of his cell was very low, so low in fact that he could only just stand without hitting his head. Secondly, he was still wearing the same suit, however it was perfectly clean. There were no traces of blood, and no bullet hole. No indication to the fact that he had been shot at all.
Speaking of which, why wasn't he in pain? He had been shot straight through the chest, no one could shrug that off. He tried to feel for his bullet wound, only to find nothing there.
As confused as he was, his mind was pulled towards more important matters when he heard two male voices, rapidly approaching from somewhere outside his cell. Quietly, he leaned against the wall by the door, trying to make out what they were saying.
"How's he doing?" came one voice.
"Fine," replied the other, "But I haven't checked on him in a while."
"This is perfect. Now we have the ultimate weapon, we can finally reclaim what is rightfully ours!"
The two voices were right outside his cell by now. "Of course. From what I've read, human beings were complete savages, and yet they submit easily to pressure. It will be easy for him to do as we wish. But we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves, there is still much to do." Bond heard the sound of something being picked up off the table. "What is this?" the second voice asked.
"I'm not sure. I think it's a weapon, but we'll check properly later."
007 couldn't help it any longer, he had to get a look at who had imprisoned him; the people who obviously had such malicious intentions for him. He peeked through the iron bars of his cell. What he saw was probably the last thing he expected.
Two pastel coloured equines were busy inspecting his handgun. Both of them had dark colour palettes, one with a grey coat and black mane, the other a navy blue coat and dark red mane. One of them seemed to have wings. Overcome with the absurdity of the situation, James burst out into laughter.
Caught by surprise, they both turned around, looking at the spy with confusion. One recovered his composure quickly, despite the fact that James was still in a fit of laughter. “So,” he said, trying to put on the most menacing voice possible. “You’re finally awake. You were in there for hours, we thought you might be dead.”
Bond took a few deep breaths, calming himself down, before looking the pony in the eye. Smiling again, he looked at the other one, the one with wings. “Does he always pull this?” he asked. “Seriously, you couldn’t intimidate a five year old with that.”
The grey pony snorted in anger. “Shut up. You forget, you’re the one behind bars here. You’re going to do as we say.”
Bond burst out laughing again. “Me? Taking orders from a talking horse?" he managed to say, still in hysterics. "So this is where people go when they die? Imprisoned forever by a talking little girl’s toy?”
“I said shut up!” the stallion barked, staring daggers at the agent. His friend, the one with wings, managed to suppress a snigger. Regaining his composure, the grey one continued. “You make no sense, but that doesn’t matter. We didn’t ask for an intelligent creature, and we don’t need one.”
“Well, tough luck,” Bond muttered, having finally calmed down. “Looks like you picked out the short straw.” Stretching, the human stood up and faced his assailants on the other side of the iron bars. “Well, fine,” he said to them. “If I’m going to be your puppet, or whatever it is you want me to be, then you can at least tell me what the hell you are and what pitiful hole you crawled from.”
The blue one with wings snorted with amusement. “Heh, you weren’t kidding, it really is stupid.” He chuckled, nudging his friend. “Well, since you’re so damn interested, we’re ponies. I am a pegasus, and my friend here, Brute Force, is an earth pony. The mare who brought you here is a unicorn.”
James sighed and looked away, laughing slightly. “Of course. So how did she bring me here, this unicorn friend of yours?”
“You don’t need to know the details,” the pegasus replied flatly. “In fact, the less you know, the better.” He went to leave before turning to the grey earth pony. “I’m going back to Quill to go over our plans. You stay here and watch... it.” He sneered at James and trotted out of the room.
Bond sat down again, trying to think of a plan. There weren't many options for his escape, and even if he did, he didn't even know where he could be escaping to. He studied his cell for a moment, thinking. He could escape if he somehow got the stallion keeping an eye on him closer. He had an idea, but whether it would work was a mystery.
"So," he started, standing back up and leaning casually leaning against the wall. "Where you from?"
"Shut it," the pony grunted, busy reading a dusty old book.
Bond persisted. "Oh, come on. A proud stallion like you can't have just come from any old two-bit town."
The trick worked. Smirking, the earth pony looked up from what he was reading. "You're right. Las Pegasus isn't just any old two-bit city. More exciting than the pathetic capital we call Canterlot, and more sophisticated than a cesspit such as Ponyville." The stallion stood up, advancing towards 007, who now stood in front of the bars of his cell. "And when we are done, Pegasus will be a shining beacon in the middle of the San Palamino Desert. No city shall be more magnificent!" By now he was inches away from Bond's face.
"Really?" the spy deadpanned, before quickly thrusting both hands through the metal bars and slamming the stallion's head into them. The pony collapsed, knocked out cold. "I'm happy for you."
Satisfied with his handiwork, 007 began to look around for the key to his cell. He started by checking his assailant's unconscious body, but there was nothing there. He got up and scanned the room, before his eyes fell upon a set of keys next to his gun. "Shit," he muttered, looking for an alternative way out. He glanced around his room frantically, but there was nothing that could aid him. Instead, he grasped the bars of his cell door, giving them a firm tug. The door shifted slightly.
An idea forming in his mind, Bond stepped back, taking a deep breath, before kicking the door with all of his might. There was an ear-splitting screech, and the door flew open, almost coming off it’s hinges. Smirking, he stepped out of his cell and over the body of his captor. Reaching the table, he scanned a few papers that were scattered around, but they were irrelevant to his situation; mostly just out of date newspapers. Deciding to make haste, he picked up the set of keys and his handgun. Strange, he thought. I remember dropping mine on the train. Still, I'm not complaining.
Before leaving, he checked over his weapon. The Walther PPK, the standard issue firearm for all MI6 operatives. It was mostly clean, and fully loaded. Looking in the desk’s drawer, he found the spare magazines he was carrying before and stashed them in his holster. Satisfied, he swiftly left the room, entering a dimly lit hallway. Keeping his gun ready, he crept further away from his cell room. As he neared the next doorway, he could hear two voices. One belonged to the pegasus he had talked to previously, while the other was unfamiliar.
"He was asking questions," the pegasus stallion growled. "Tell me, how exactly did you get him here again?"
"A complicated teleport spell," came a female voice, who sounded fearful. "This castle is where the Elements of Harmony were originally located, so there is a lot of ambient magic energy floating around here."
“Right.” Judging by his voice, the pegasus only just grasped what she had said. His hooves shuffled along the ground, and he seemed to address someone else. "Keep an eye on her, I'm going to get something to eat."
"Well, save something for me," the stallion he was talking to replied jokingly.
"Ah, screw you." The clopping of his hooves got louder, and Bond found himself pressing back against the wall as the burly pegasus left the room, thankfully not glancing in his direction as he made his way towards the exit.
After his captor was well out of sight and earshot, 007 dared to peek inside the room. He saw a younger looking mare reading through a selection of books and furiously scribbling down notes, all while keeping a wary eye on the muscular earth pony guard on the other side of the room, who was busy entertaining himself by listening to a nearby radio. Taking a deep breath, he strode into the room, advancing towards the guard. Taken by surprise, the earth pony could do nothing as the agent threw him back against the wall, delivering a few brutal punches before the pony went down.
Bond quickly turned to the shocked unicorn scientist, who, while still shaking uncontrollably, was charging up some sort of spell from her horn. James swiftly moved over to her and flicked her horn, which shuddered and stopped glowing.
“Please... please don’t hurt me,” the mare whimpered, trying to scramble away.
007 stood over her, blocking her path. “We’ll see. First, you’re going to tell me three things: where the hell I am, what the hell you are, and what is going on.” He scowled at her. “Now, that won’t be too difficult, will it?”
The scientist shook her head quickly.
“Well, go on.”
The mare looked up at him, and stood up slowly, calming down a little now that Bond had lost the edge of his aggressive demeanour. “Well, you’re in Equestria. The Everfree Forest to be exact. You don’t know where that is, do you?” She asked in response to his clueless expression.
Bond shook his head, before checking on the earth pony guard. He was still unconscious, snoring on the floor.
“And I’m a pony, a unicorn.” She chuckled slightly. “You know, I could ask the same thing about you.”
“I’m asking the questions here.” Bond glared at her, before sighing. “What’s your name?”
“Quill. Lavender Quill.” She glanced towards the doorway, before looking back at him. "Look, I don't know who or what you are, but you have to help me."
James raised an eyebrow. "Help you? And why should I do that?"
"These stallions, they're part of this crazy organization," Quill whispered. "They kidnapped me for this project of theirs, and threaten to kill me if I don't help them!"
Bond scowled at her. "Why should I believe you?"
The unicorn shakily held up an ID card. "I work at the University of Canterlot, I write articles on new types of teleportation spells," she tried to explain. "They grabbed me while I was on my way home, and another one of them cast a spell so I couldn't just teleport away."
Bond pondered this for a moment. "Okay, so you need my help." He held out a hand, which she nervously took. "Then maybe we can come to some sort of mutual agreement," he told the scientist, pulling her to her hooves.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "And what's that?"
"You tell me how to get out and where to go, and I'll get you out of here safely."
Lavender nodded. "Yeah, okay." She had managed to calm herself down, and had put on a brave face.
James smiled slightly. "Then let's get going."
He led the mare back out into the hallway, keeping an eye out for any more patrolling guards. He wasn't too worried about the stallions he'd already knocked out; they wouldn't be waking up for some time.
They both hastily made their way down through the hallway to an old door on the far side. Peering through it, James saw what looked like the battered remains of a medieval-style castle. There was some sort of pedestal in the middle, where there was room for six statues of some kind, however it was empty.
007, on the other hand, was more concerned about the five or so stallion guards that stood beyond the door. Of them all, there were two earth ponies, two pegasi, and a unicorn. Fortunately, all of them had their backs to him. Turning to Lavender, he raised a finger to his lips and motioned for her to stay put.
Pushing open the door slowly, he crept out into the room, keeping his eye on the stallion who was closest to him. Smiling, he stood behind the pegasus and cleared his throat loudly. Everypony in the room quickly whirled round to face him.
"Sorry to interrupt," he announced, putting on his best mock innocence tone as possible. “But it was kind of boring back in my cell. Do you do room service?”
The five stallions before him simply stared at the human, perplexed. Bond laughed slightly, before promptly punching the pegasus in front of him square in the jaw. His friends responded immediately, each adopting a different aggressive stance. An earth pony to James’ left lunged towards him, trying to catch the agent off guard. Bond anticipated the tackle, and quickly sidestepped, before driving the heel of his foot into the back of the brute’s head, sending him sprawling across the floor.
The rest weren’t quite as gullible. They all took up defensive positions, scanning the human as they all stood, waiting for one party to make a move. It was Bond who went on the offensive, quickly approaching the second pegasus, throwing a calculated right hook that sent the stallion spinning. James grabbed him just as a unicorn on the other side of the room sent off a charged bolt of energy. The agent ducked behind his equine shield, wincing slightly as the pony screamed in pain, before going limp.
Three down, two to go. Capitalizing on his opponent’s confusion, he leaped towards the unicorn. The stallion, panicking as he saw the spy barrelling towards him, sent off a wild blast of magic that grazed Bond on the shoulder. It did little to deter him, as he still tackled the unicorn to the ground. His target struggled, trying to break free, but James delivered a quick chop to the neck and snapped his horn off, leaving his assailant unconscious.
All that was left was the final earth pony, who stood on the other room, trying to make himself look as intimidating as possible. Bond could tell, however, that all of his morale had been drained at the sight of his friends being defeated so easily. Still, the stallion reared, and charged towards 007.
“Nice try,” James muttered to himself, before swiftly dodging to the side, whipping out his handgun and firing two point-blank shots into the back of the pony’s skull. The stallion went limp, before crashing to the ground. Wiping off the blood dripping from his hands, he walked back over to the door, where Lavender Quill had been watching the whole time. He opened the old door to let her through, but she didn’t move.
“What is it?” he asked her. “What’s wrong?”
“You... you killed them!” she managed to stammer. “How could you just kill them?”
“It was nothing personal,” Bond answered, without remorse. “Besides, they were going to kill us too, if they found us.” He held out his hand and pulled her to her hooves. “Come on, we need to keep moving. There’s bound to be more of them.”
Stepping over the bodies of the guards, the two of them quickly hurried out of the castle and into what seemed to be some sort of forest. Surrounding the castle was a large, deep gorge, but Bond could see no way across it.
“I think the way out is this way,” Lavender announced, trotting past James. “There’s a rope bridge around here, I think.” 007 watched her canter around the side of the castle, before following. He wasn’t a superstitious person, but he could feel something strange about this place. Something unnatural. Either way, it didn’t matter; he didn’t even know where he was anyway.
The professor lead him to the back of the castle, beyond which lay, as she had noted, a long rope bridge. One thing was for certain. It didn’t look safe at all. “Really?” Bond asked, raising an eyebrow at the mare.
“Do you see any other way out of here?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm, before tentatively stepping out onto the first plank of wood. “Come on. We need to hurry, in case they find out what happened.”
James would be lying if he said he wasn’t apprehensive about crossing the dilapidated bridge, but it seemed to be his only option. “Here goes nothing,” he muttered, tentatively putting one foot onto the bridge. Finding that it held well, he stepped out further. The bridge seemed perfectly capable of holding both the agent and the unicorn, so they made haste to the other side.
“Okay,” Bond called out to Quill once they had finally reached the other side. “Just tell me how I can reach civilization, and you can go.”
“There’s a town north of here, I think,” she pointed out. “I think it’s called Ponyville. The ponies there are really nice, so I think you should be fine.”
James grimaced. He wasn’t sure how the population would react to what was obviously not a common sight in their land. “Fine. And before you go home, tell the guard, or police, or whatever, what happened here.”
Quill nodded, giving a small smile. “Oh, and thanks, Mister...”
“Bond. James Bond.”
“Mr. Bond. Good luck!” She smiled at him sheepishly again, before disappearing in a flash of light.
James just stood there for a moment, pondering the absurdity of the situation he now found himself in, before setting off north further into the woods. He didn’t know how long the walk would be, but, thankfully, the sun was starting to rise.
Well, it’s certainly been a strange day, he thought.
“He's rather a tragic case. As MI6 says, he's difficult to control. Nice way of saying that everything he touches seems to wither and die.”
***
The humidity of the mid-morning heat in the middle of the forest hit James hard as he pushed blindly through. It had been about three hours, if his sense of time was anything to go by, since he had parted ways with Lavender Quill and made his way towards what he had hoped would be civilization. Unfortunately, he had not seen any form of life other than birds and bugs at all. He could have been walking around in circles for the past few hours for all he knew.
Swatting flies away from his face, he stumbled through a particularly large overgrowth out onto a dirt path. Finally getting somewhere, he thought to himself. I wonder what they call this hellhole, anyway. He craned his neck, trying to find the location of the rising sun. It was directly perpendicular to the path, thankfully. The sun rises in the east, he reminded himself, turning left and walking down the muddy trail. Quill said there was some sort of town north from here. He didn’t know what he expected to find, or what he was going to do once he got there, but staying in a town full of magical talking ponies sounded a lot more appealing than starving to death in the middle of a forest.
A rustling in the bushes to his right snapped him out of his thoughts. He stopped and, instinctively reaching for his handgun, crept over to investigate. He was about to push through the overgrowth when what looked like a zebra hopped out a few feet away from him. They locked eyes for a few moments, unsure of what to do. James used the time to examine the creature. He could tell it was female, for a start. It’s mane was styled in a mohawk, it was clad in an assortment of golden jewelery, and there seemed to be some sort of symbol emblazoned on its flank, similar to the ponies back at the castle. Before he could investigate any further, it scampered off quickly.
“I wonder if every form of life is sapient here,” he murmured to himself, setting off down the path again. “I don’t even know where ‘here’ is.” I’m no geography expert, but I’m fairly certain nowhere on Earth is home to talking equines, he thought to himself, still smiling at the silliness of his situation. Still, if I’m even going to think about getting home, I’m going to need some help.
After walking through the forest for such a long time, the heat and humidity were finally starting to get to him. He had been trained by MI6 to be adaptable and to survive in a variety of harsh environments. He had performed well during training, having completed the entirety of the course in only eight weeks, but now, out in the open, he was being pushed near his limits. Of all the things I’ve survived, he thought, I’ve been tortured by Le Chiffre, skydived into a sinkhole in the middle of the Bolivian desert, and yet some bloody forest in the middle of nowhere is what finally gets to me.
He squinted his eyes as he noticed a clearing in the distance. Maybe I’m finally getting somewhere. His curiosity piqued, he quickened his pace to a quick jog, eager to find out what lay beyond the edge of the forest. He reached the clearing quickly, and he was relieved to see what lay beyond: a small town, just as Quill had told him. So, this is the ‘Ponyville’ Quill told me about. Hopefully they aren’t too apprehensive about strangers. In the end it didn’t really matter. As long as they allowed him food and shelter, he didn’t care. He’d find a way to get home, to England, he was sure of it.
He wasn’t going to get anywhere just by standing there looking at the place, however, so, without further ado, he sent off down the path towards the edge of town, keeping a close eye out for any of it’s residents.
As he got closer to the town, he could spot some of the townsponies going about their daily business. He decided the best place to go to get his bearings, and, hopefully, find someone who could help, would be the center of town, so he made his way there. Entering the town itself, he noticed many of the brightly coloured residents starting to take note of his presence, however most of them looked too fearful to come and talk to him.
Still, he made his way closer to the square in the center of town. He noticed that many ponies were visibly moving away from him as he approached, with some of them even locking themselves in their homes and shielding their foals from the very sight of him. Perhaps they think I’m some sort of monster, he thought. If they knew some of things I’ve done, I guess it wouldn’t be far from a fair assumption.
After about five minutes of walking, he finally reached what looked to be the center of town. There was a large square, with a tall building on the edge. Must be the town hall, he pondered. He glanced up at the building, taking note of what looked like a recent repair job on some sections of the aged roof tiles. Turning his attention away from the dilapidated place, he made his way over to a nearby market stall, hoping to ask some questions. It seemed to be a florist’s stall; the owner being a cream coloured and red maned mare. She shrunk away at the sight of him, but couldn’t bring herself to leave her post.
“Good morning,” he said to her, giving a polite smile. She gave a weak, nervous smile in response, but avoided his gaze. “Do you know where I could find a place to stay?” he asked.
“There’s a hotel just down the street, past Sugarcube Corner,” she told him, stuttering slightly. An apprehensive bunch, aren’t they? 007 thought to himself. Still, he thanked her, and set off in the direction she had pointed him towards. He kept a brisk pace, which was helped by the fact that many ponies gave him a wide berth.
She said it was past a ‘Sugarcube Corner’, whatever that is. He stopped to get his bearings, looking for any landmarks. Looking up, he saw the building he was standing outside seemed to be a large gingerbread house, with a cupcake on the top. Ah, so that’s what she meant. Must be further down the street then. Bond was about to set off again when he heard a high-pitched gasp from behind him.
He had no sooner turned to investigate the noise when a bright pink blur shot up towards him. He flinched, bracing for impact, but it never came. Instead, he opened his eyes to see an unusually happy pink mare beaming at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it.
“Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie, what’s yours? Ooh, what are you? I’ve never seen something like you before! Can we be friends?” She blurted it all out at what seemed like a million miles an hour, leaving Bond to catch up.
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it; you don’t need to know me,” James told her, walking away. “I won’t be around too long anyway.”
There was a small moment of silence as he tried to slip away. The pink pony, however, was undeterred. “Well, like I said, I’m Pinkie Pie, and I work at Sugarcube Corner!” She pointed to the large gingerbread house beside them. “Just you wait, I’m gonna throw you the greatest ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party ever!” She zipped away, calling out, “See ya later!”
007 sighed and shook his head, before pressing on. Soon enough he came across a small motel. It didn’t look like much. Just a two storey building with a thatched roof, like most of the other buildings in the town. Still, it was a place to stay. Hopefully. James half-expected the owner to be some sort of racist or supremacist. It seemed to fit in with the kind of luck he’d been having recently. I wonder if there’s some sort of tension between the different pony races, Bond thought. Imagine that, a unicorn supremacist. He smiled. Things just seemed to be getting stranger by the minute.
He approached the wooden door (which, similar to the cell he woke up in, was only just higher than him), and knocked on it lightly. He didn’t know who, or what, he would find on the other side, but by that point he didn’t really care. Ponies that were passing by were still giving him strange looks, so he only imagined that the hotel’s owner wasn’t going to welcome him with open arms.
“Coming!” A female sing-song voice echoed from within the building. A few moments later, the door swung open, revealing an elderly bright orange pegasus mare sporting a large, bushy brown mane. “Good morning, how can I help you-” She paused, looking up at the man that stood head and shoulders above her. She stuttered something for a second, before Bond cut in.
“Do you have a room available?” he asked simply.
“Y-yes,” she managed to say. “Please follow me.” She lead James inside, revealing a large hallway beyond the front door. She took him up the stairs and down the upstairs hallway before standing beside a door. “Here it is. It’s ten bits for the night.”
Bond’s heart sunk. “Uh... I don’t have any money.” He went for his wallet, but the mare cringed at his sudden movement.
“No, don’t worry, it’s fine.” Before 007 could say another word, she scampered away to another room.
“Uh, thank you?” James called out, but there was no response. He shrugged, and looked inside his room. It was quite simple: a king sized bed, chest of drawers, an ensuite, and balcony overlooking the street. Nothing special really. Still, it did the job, so Bond, suddenly feeling tired, sat down on the bed, stifling a yawn. Not too soon after, he was dozing off to sleep.
***
Twilight Sparkle trotted around her library, the Golden Oaks, making sure everything was spick and span. Tomorrow was reshelving day, and she wanted to make sure everything was perfect and tidy for the occasion.
She stopped, and took a look around the room. Everything seemed to be in order. Satisfied, she looked up at the clock. Twelve o’ clock. Time for some lunch, she thought. “Spike!” she called out up the stairs.
The purple baby dragon in question soon appeared at the top of the stairs. “Yeah?”
“Wanna go get some lunch?” the unicorn asked him as he hopped down the stairs. “It’s a nice day out today.”
Her number one assistant smiled. “Sure, that’s a great idea!”
Twilight grinned and pushed open the front door to the library, making sure to hang an ‘out for lunch’ sign on it. “Great! Let’s go.”
The pair smiled as they stepped outside, basking in the warmth of the midday sun. It was a beautiful day for a stroll through the town. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Other ponies seemed to have the right idea as well, with many other citizens trotting around enjoying their day.
Their favourite restaurant was only a few blocks around the corner from the library, so it wasn’t too far to walk. It was a simple place really, just a small café on the edge of the town square, with some tables outside next to the street. They arrived swiftly and took their seats. Spike, feeling decidedly hungry, immediately picked up the menu and started to scan through it.
“Still no gemstones...” he mumbled under his breath. Meanwhile, Twilight took the time to sit back and relax, looking over the town square. There was nothing much to see really. Just a multitude of ponies browsing or buying something from the many market stalls. However, she eyed one market stall in particular. It was Rose’s flower stall. From what the purple unicorn could make out, the earth pony was in hysterics, panicking as her friend, Junebug, tried to calm her down.
It’s probably nothing to worry about, she thought, shrugging and turning back to the baby dragon. “You decided yet, Spike?” she asked, picking up a menu of her own.
“They have so little choice here,” he complained. “I guess I’ll just have some hay fries.”
Twilight sighed, silently agreeing with him. They both loved this place, but they agreed it was a case of quality over quantity. Deciding to have the same, she looked over the top of her menu back to Rose’s stand, her curiosity piqued as she searched for something to make the day interesting.
A small crowd of ponies were now surrounding Rose’s small market stall. From what Twilight could see, some looked apprehensive and fearful, while others bore expressions of anger and upset.
“Spike,” the unicorn murmured, nudging him. “Look over there,” she told him, pointing in the crowd’s direction.
“Huh? What is it?” he asked, following her gaze. “What’s going on over there?”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “I’m not too sure. Should we go check it out?”
The dragon checked over his shoulder quickly before turning back to her. “Doesn’t look like we’re going to be getting much service here. Come on.” He hopped off his stool and joined her as they made their way across the square. Many other ponies were joining the crowd by now, all with similar expressions. Ones of anger and fear.
“What’s happening?” Twilight asked a random pegasus stallion as they reached the outskirts of the swelling mob.
“There’s a monster, right here in town, that’s what!” he replied. “It scared the living daylights out of Rose!”
Monster? Confused, the unicorn pushed through the crowd to Rose’s stand, where she stood in the embrace of her coltfriend, a burly unicorn. “Rose, are you alright?” the librarian asked.
The earth pony nodded weakly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She pointed down the street. “I don’t know what it was. It just asked me where the hotel was and set off.”
“It spoke Equestrian?”
“Does it matter?” Rose’s coltfriend spoke up. “We don’t even know what it is!” He stood up to address the mob of ponies. “Are we just gonna let some thing waltz right into town, terrorizing our citizens?”
There was a hearty “No!” from the crowd.
Rose tugged on his tail. “Please, you’re overreacting. If it really was a monster, don’t you think it would have attacked us by now?” She pleaded with him, trying to calm him down, but to no avail. The mob of ponies set off down the street, calling for the ‘monster’ to show its face.
Twilight gulped. This can’t be good.
***
Shouting. He could hear shouting, and screaming. Opening one eye, James still found himself laying on his back, staring at the ceiling of his hotel room. There seemed to be some sort of commotion outside his window. From the sounds of it, there were at least fifty ponies out there, maybe more. The lynch mob’s finally arrived then, he thought, hauling himself to his feet.
He stepped cautiously towards the window, peeking slightly through the curtains. True to his expectations, a huge crowd of angry ponies were outside, screaming and hollering. Despite his better judgement, he took a deep breath and stepped out onto the balcony.
“There it is!” one shouted, pointing an accusing hoof. The intensity and anger of the mob flared, their rage directed at him. Bond just stood there, dumbfounded that his mere presence within the town could cause such an uprising. Thankfully, while many of them were angry, none seemed violent. How long that would last, though, he wasn’t sure.
“Get out of our town, you monster!” one mare screamed, supported by a cry of approval from the rest.
007 considered saying something in his defense, but found that he was beaten to it by one of the members of the crowd. A purple unicorn mare stood up and, using her magic to amplify her voice, ordered the crowd to be quiet. Surprisingly, they obliged.
“What is wrong with you ponies?” she asked the crowd, but no one spoke a word. “I know this town has had some rough times, what with Discord, and Cerberus showing up during the past few years, but that doesn’t give you the right to outlaw and banish any new creature that might come here!”
A murmur of confusion swept through the crowd as the mare kept on speaking.
“You know it, or he, rather, from the looks of him, speaks Equestrian, so that alone should tell you that he is not some sort of primal beast! How about, instead, we simply ask him who he is, and what he’s doing here?”
The many members of the crowd looked at each other for a few moments, before nodding silently, seemingly ashamed of how hasty they had been in their accusations. One by one, all of them turned their head up to 007, expecting a speech of sorts.
James just stood there in silence for a few moments as the sea of pastel-coloured equines stared up at him with their inexplicably large eyes. “Well, good afternoon,” he finally said, awkwardly. “If you’re looking for information, the first thing you should know is that I’m not good with speeches.”
He stared out at them as they patiently waited for him to continue. “I’ll keep it short. I’m a human being, and no, I have no intention of hurting any of you.”
“So, what are you doing in Ponyville?” the lavender unicorn asked him.
“I’m only here because I’m searching for a way to get home,” he informed them. “Judging by your initial reactions, I can only assume that’s a very long way away.” With that, he decided to step back inside and draw the curtains.
One by one, all of the ponies in the crowd shrugged and went back to their business, trying their best to pretend the whole incident didn’t happen. The purple unicorn, on the other hand, wasn’t put off so easily.
“Come on, Spike,” Twilight Sparkle announced to her assistant. “We’ve got a human to go talk to.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, you don’t even know what he’s like.”
Twilight scoffed and pushed open the front door to the hotel. “I’m sure he’s just as friendly as every other pony. Besides, I’m not just going to let information on a whole new species pass me by!”
Spike sighed. “Fine, you go on ahead, but I’m going back to the library. I need a nap.”
Twilight smiled and nodded. “Alright then. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“Yeah, see ya.”
Her mind racing, Twilight watched as her assistant and best friend walked out of view. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and trotted up the hotel’s stairs, eager for some answers.
“Having just met you, I wouldn’t go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures instead of meaningful pursuits.”
***
James watched in silence, peeking through a gap in the curtains, as the mob of ponies slowly dispersed and went back to their daily lives. Inwardly, he cursed himself for being so reckless; stumbling into an unknown location like he did was not one of his smarter decisions.
Still, Lady Luck had seen fit to smile upon him, as the hostility of the crowd had been defused by one lone mare. A purple unicorn, if his memory served him correctly. He made a mental note to thank her should he ever cross paths with her again. For now, though, he had to focus on the problem of getting back home. He would obviously have to find a pony capable of performing the same spell that Quill did. In the rush to escape from the castle, it completely slipped his mind that he could have simply asked her to do it. Bloody idiot, he thought to himself.
He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a light knocking on his door. Finally pulling himself away from the window, he walked over and began to open it cautiously. Opening it just wide enough to see through properly, he saw the purple unicorn that had stood up for him not five minutes ago. She looked nervous, as if she didn’t quite know what to say.
“Yes?” James asked, as she looked up at him. “Can I help you?”
She seemed to snap herself out of some sort of trance. “Yes, um, hi!” she said nervously. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.” She beamed at him.
Bond just stood there for a moment, unsure of how to react. She didn't say anything else, so he decided to continue. "And?"
The mare blinked and snapped out of her own little world once again. "Oh! Sorry. I'm the local librarian, and I, on behalf of everypony here, would like to welcome you to Ponyville!"
007 nodded slowly. "Right. I noticed how they were all welcoming me with open arms."
She picked up on his sarcasm. "Yeah, sorry about that. We've been going through some tough times recently, so everypony's a little on edge."
James nodded again. "Well, I suppose you have questions?"
"Well, I, um..." the unicorn stuttered.
Bond cut her off. "Who am I kidding, of course you do." He opened the door, allowing her to enter. "You might as well come in then. Make yourself comfortable."
She thanked him and stepped through into his room. She looked around for a few moments, examining the place, before sitting down on the sofa next to the bed. James wasn't quite sure what he was about to get himself into, but he figured there was no use in hiding anything from the ponies. Seeing as he was an alien to them, this probably counted as first contact. Besides, maybe she knew someone who could help him get home, or, at least, help him get to Canterlot so Quill could instead.
He took a deep breath, before closing the door and turning to face the lavender unicorn. "So, what did you want to know, Twilight?" he asked simply.
"Well, your name, for a start," she told him as he slowly sat down on his bed, yawning.
"James Bond," he answered simply. "Nice to meet you, Twilight Sparkle," he said with a slight smile, holding out his hand to her. She grinned in excitement, before taking it and shaking politely.
"So, Mr. Bond," she continued. "You said you came from a long way away. How far away do you live, and how did you get here?"
007 pondered on this for a moment, considering the best way to answer her. "How far? No idea, but I'm pretty sure it's nowhere on this earth. As for how I got here..." he paused for a second, jogging his memory. "Well, the last thing I remember is falling into a ravine. I passed out, and woke up here."
"You fell into a ravine?" Twilight asked, puzzled.
"Off a moving train, actually." He smiled at her confused expression. "Let's just call it a workplace hazard." She eyed him quizzically, before starting to speak. However, James cut her off. “So, you’re the studious type, Miss Sparkle? Always eager to learn something new?”
Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. “Wait, what? How did you know? You’ve only just met me!”
“Well, it wasn’t too hard to figure out; you’re pretty easy to read. Besides, you wouldn’t even be up here if you weren’t,” he answered smoothly.
“Anypony can get curious,” she countered quickly, blushing slightly.
“True. However, the fact that you were seemingly star-struck when you first laid eyes upon me, coupled with the fact that you practically jumped at the opportunity to shake my hand says otherwise,” the agent told her, smirking. “Also, your reaction now leads me to believe that I’ve dampened your pride somewhat, and now you’re trying to cover it up.”
The unicorn stared at him for a moment, speechless. “Wow, you’re good,” she finally managed to say.
“So I’ve been told.”
There was a brief moment of awkward silence as Twilight tried to decide what to say next. James just sat there patiently, eying her closely. She seemed wary, as if she was out of her comfort zone. He shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, he was an alien to them. Still, she was acting better than the other residents of the town, so he could only assume her curiosity had overridden any doubts she had.
“Where do humans come from?” the mare asked suddenly, catching him off-guard slightly. “I’ve never seen or even heard about a creature like you.”
“Earth,” he told her. “I come from a planet called Earth.” God, that sounds so painfully cliché.
“You mean you’re from another planet? Not just a land we haven’t discovered yet?”
“Well, since talking ponies don’t actually exist at all on my planet, I can safely say we don’t share the same home world,” he replied. “Apparently another unicorn brought me here using a complicated teleportation spell, or something.”
Twilight didn’t seem to hear him, however, as she was too busy feeling giddy at the prospect of life beyond her own planet. “Oh, this is amazing!” she exclaimed. “Of all the ponies in the world, it’s actually me who gets to make first contact with another form of life!”
Bond considered telling her that she was not the first pony to actually talk to him properly, but he thought it a bit cruel to burst her bubble of excitement. Instead, he opted to clear his throat to draw her attention. “Do you know anything about the kind of teleportation spells that could bring me here?” he asked her.
She snapped out of her ecstasy and looked at him. “Maybe. I might have some books on complicated teleportation back at the library. They’re not easy to pull off though, and some even believe that they’re just myths.”
“Could you show me?” he asked her, standing up.
“Of course!” she beamed at him again, hopping up onto her hooves. “Follow me.”
James nodded and followed her, adjusting his tie as he stepped through the door. He took care to lock it before following the mare down the hotel stairs. They were both about to go outside when she stopped in her tracks. She sniffed a couple of times, before gagging and putting a hoof to her snout.
“Ugh, what’s that smell?”
James raised an arm and took a sniff. “I think it’s me, I’m ashamed to say. Trekking through the jungle for three or so hours tends to work up a sweat. Sorry.”
“No problem, I guess,” Twilight replied understandingly. “There’s a shower at my place; you’re welcome to use it.” He nodded as they stepped outside into the midday heat. Practically all of the ponies in town had gotten over the earlier disturbance, and were busy going about their day. A few still shot 007 wary glances, but otherwise stayed out of his way.
“So tell me, James,” Twilight spoke up as she lead him back through the quaint town. “What’s life like on your planet? What’s it like to live on Earth?”
“It varies,” he answered simply. “Though, from what I’ve seen, some of it is very similar to society here.”
“Really?” the unicorn wondered, intrigued. “How so?”
“Well, the architecture, for a start.” Bond motioned to the thatched houses and cottages all around them. “Your whole town is very similar to a typical countryside village. Well, one that is about five hundred years before my time, anyway.”
“Fascinating,” Twilight murmured. James could easily tell that she was making mental notes that she would write down on paper later. “So are all settlements similar to this?”
“No. Cultures vary, and settlements can vary from a village with about fifty people to a city with millions.” He looked around at all the sights as he continued to walk, intrigued. “I think the best way to describe your town is that it looks like something from fantasy.”
“So what you’re saying is, Ponyville is almost identical to a place you would read about in a fantasy novel?”
Bond shrugged. “Something like that, I suppose.”
They both continued to discuss the details of each others society on the walk back to the library. Twilight seemed to have trouble understanding that, even though England had a monarch, the queen wasn’t the governmental power in his country. Bond had to explain to her the fine details of modern politics, something she wasn’t used to. James also found it hard to believe that the same princess could rule the land for over one thousand years, but her figured it was just another thing to add to the pile of things that didn’t make sense. Well, I am in some sort of magical land, he supposed.
“Well, here we are,” Twilight announced, stopping. “Welcome to the Golden Oaks library!”
Bond looked up at the unusual structure. It was a tree. A library inside a tree. Now I’ve seen everything, he thought, chuckling as she lead him inside.
“Spike!” the mare called out. “Are you here? Spike!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, Twilight.” Following the sound of the younger voice, Bond looked upstairs to see a small purple reptilian emerge. They locked eyes for a second, before Twilight spoke up again.
“Spike, this is James. He’s the human that showed up earlier, remember?” She smiled at him. “James, this is Spike, my assistant. He’s a dragon.”
Another one to the pile. “Right...” He managed to look up at the dragon, who hopped down the stairs. “Good to meet you.”
“Likewise, pal.” The reptile seemed friendly enough, holding out a tiny claw towards James. He shook it gently, before turning back to Twilight.
“Do you have those books, then?”
“I should do,” she told him, “but it might take me awhile to find them. I haven’t reshelved or sorted this place in ages.” She pointed a hoof up the stairs. “Use the shower if you’d like. First door on the right.”
Bond considered this for a moment. Why not? “Okay then, thanks.” He nodded to her and jogged up the stairs into the upstairs hallway, eager to clean himself up. Stepping into the bathroom, he threw off his jacket and turned on the shower. The warm water sprayed from the nozzle as he stripped off and stepped inside, sighing in relief and comfort. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a decent shower. The water splashing across his aching skin relaxed him somewhat, and he was able to better focus on the tasks that lay ahead for him.
After making sure to wash himself properly, he stayed inside the shower for about ten minutes, winding down. Hopefully now everyone around him wouldn’t be quite as hostile, so he could finally get onto the task of getting home. That being said, he wasn’t in a rush. Everything here was so peaceful, and he had all the time in the world. He could afford to relax for a bit. Maybe he could even get another suit tailored to him. His current one he had worn for the past few days, and was dirty and torn.
His mind ran back to the ponies that had brought him to their world and imprisoned him the first place. The ringleader, whatever his name was, seemed to have some sort of plan involving him. Now that he had escaped, he wasn’t sure how it would be affected, but Bond knew the type. The type that wouldn’t let a small hindrance stop them from achieving what they wanted. James didn’t worry about it too much though. After all, Equestria had two apparently immortal deities as rulers, so he figured it was nothing they couldn’t handle.
Turning off the running water, he could hear the faint sound of Twilight calling him from downstairs. “James! I’ve found it!”
Hastily, he threw on his shirt and trousers before briskly making his way back downstairs. Both Twilight and Spike were huddled around a large, dusty book, reading intently.
“You found it then?” he said to her. “What’s the book called?”
She flipped over to the front cover. “‘Myths and Legends: The Spellcaster’s Edition’. There was only one supposed teleport spell I knew of powerful enough for an inter-planetary jump.” She turned back to the page she was on and pointed at it. “Here. Read it.”
Nodding, 007 came closer and read aloud. “Everypony knows unicorns can teleport. However, this spell was so powerful, even powerful unicorns could only cast it in areas with large levels of ambient magic. It enabled the caster to view an individual from a great distance away, perhaps even across the far reaches of space.”
Twilight nodded. “Keep going.”
“It also allowed the caster to teleport their target to their location, however, due to every being’s natural ambient magic, this was only possible if the target was near death or otherwise incapacitated.”
There was a brief moment of silence as Bond put the pieces together. “So that’s how she did it. She could see me when I got shot on the train.”
Confused, the unicorn looked up at him. “She? Who?”
“A mare called Quill. Lavender Quill. It’s a long story,” James answered. “She’s a professor at the University of Canterlot, apparently, and she managed to bring me here.”
“Huh.” Shrugging, the mare picked up the book in her aura of magic and slotted it back into its place amongst the many others. “Strange. I studied at the University of Canterlot for three years, and I never met a professor called Lavender Quill.”
“Well, maybe she’s new,” Spike suggested.
“Perhaps.” She shrugged again and turned back to Bond. “Sorry, James, but unless you want one of us to try and beat you to a bloody pulp, I can’t replicate that spell. The princesses might though, but there isn’t another train to Canterlot for a few days.”
“Can’t you just ask her to send a few guards down to pick us up?” Spike wondered.
The unicorn shook her head. “All of the guard’s carriages are being used up near Neighagra Falls for a training exercise, remember? The princess told us the other day. Sorry, James.”
Bond smiled. “No, it’s fine. I’m sure I can find something to do for a few days.”
She nodded. “Well, I’d better send a letter to Princess Celestia either way.” She nodded to Spike, who pulled out a quill and parchment, as she trotted over to a chest of drawers. “In the meantime, why don’t you go and see Rarity? She runs the Carousel Boutique on the edge of town. Just tell her I sent you, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to give you some more clothes. Er, no offense.”
“None taken,” he told her. “I’ve been wearing this thing for days.”
Using her magic, Twilight floated a bulging sack of coins towards him. “Here, have some bits. She’ll probably decline any payment, but take them anyway. Consider them a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ present.”
James took the bag and thanked her, before stepping back outside, leaving her to her business. It was about one o'clock; the sun was shining high in the sky, and all of the townsponies were out in force. After Twilight’s little speech earlier, they seemed to be a lot calmer around him, with a few light-hearted ones even taking the time to stop and say hello. Bond appreciated the change of pace and scenery. Honestly, it was something he could get used to, after a while.
Following the lavender unicorn’s rather obscure directions, James made his way towards the edge of Ponyville, past the town center and the hotel in which he was staying. He half expected to run into the pink pony that had met him earlier, blabbering about a party or something, but, surprisingly, she was nowhere to found. James didn’t dwell on it too much, however, as he soon found the place he was looking for.
The dressmaker’s shop looked, unsurprisingly, like some sort of carousel. At first glance, he didn’t realize that the place was even open, as no one was around except for him. However, upon closer inspection, he noticed a small ‘open’ sign hanging in the front door. Concluding that this was indeed the place Twilight directed him to, Bond approached the door and knocked on it lightly.
“Coming!” came a sing-song voice from inside. The door soon swung open to reveal a pearly white unicorn, with a curled dark purple mane. From what he could tell, the mare presented herself well, almost regally, as if she wasn’t the type of pony you would expect to find in this town. Now that he thought of it, he hadn’t seen another pony like her around the small town. Her look and demeanor were very unique, if nothing else.
James opened his mouth to speak when the mare gasped suddenly at him, before backing away and promptly fainting.
“Great,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes. Sighing, he stepped inside and picked her up, looking for a place to lie her down.
We’re just going to be the best of friends, I can tell.
"There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets. This is the latter, and I need you looking like a man who belongs at that table."
***
The pearly white mare was finally starting to open her eyes. Good. Maybe now the situation wouldn't be quite as awkward. Maybe it would be worse. Bond shrugged. He just needed some new clothes, after all.
Rarity slowly opened her eyes, unaware of her surroundings. She sat up and, noticing the human sitting across from her, gasped suddenly, trying to back away in repulsion.
"It's okay," James reassured her. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Wha... what..." The mare seemed to be recovering from some sort of shock.
"What am I?"
"No, I know what you are," she murmured slowly. "You're that, uh, human who walked into town this morning." She sat up straighter, blinking a few times to bring everything into focus. "No, I meant to say, what in Equestria are you wearing? That suit looks like it's been to Tartarus and back!"
Not quite the reaction I was expecting. Bond had to admit he was slightly taken aback. "Well, uh, I suppose that's the reason I came to you," he told her nonetheless.
"Well, it's good to see you have some sense in you," Rarity commented, now fully awake. "Luckily for you, you've come to the best dressmaker in Ponyville!" She paused for a second, eying up his size, before hopping onto her hooves and continuing. "I do fittings for stallions too, of course, but I don't get nearly as many male customers as I do female."
"Right." 007 nodded, taking it all in. "Sorry if this seems rude, but you don't seem to be at all frightened or intimidated by me. I thought you’d be slightly more apprehensive about an unknown creature. Everyone else was ready to burn me at a stake."
"The whole town's gone through some rough patches recently, so they were likely to jump to conclusions when faced with something unknown and quite possibly dangerous," she explained. "I, however, take pride in being welcoming to everyone and everything, no matter how unpleasant they may be." She grimaced, as if remembering a not too fond memory. James thought it wise not to ask.
“Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Mister...”
“Bond,” he answered. “James Bond.”
“Bond,” she repeated slowly, adjusting to the unfamiliar name. “I hope you’ll forgive me for thinking you have a rather strange name, but who am I to judge what your social norms are?”
“It’s fine, really,” James reassured her. “If I’m honest, the feeling’s mutual.”
Rarity nodded. “Of course. Now, down to business. I should have a collection of garments ready for you in a few hours. No payment required, of course. Not for someone who really needs it.”
Bond paused. “Wait, is that it? No measurements, or anything?”
“I sized you up the moment I laid eyes on you, dear,” she chimed.
“How the-” Bond caught his tongue before he could go any further. He paused for a second, before continuing. “Alright. I already have a suit, though.” He motioned to the clothes he was wearing.
“Please, darling. There are business suits, and business suits. You’re wearing the former, I specialize in making the latter.” She wore a smug look. “Besides, as I said, that thing is in pieces.”
007 rolled his eyes. “Fine then.” She nodded, and turned to trot out, into her work room, before he called out to her again. “Wait. Do you mind if I stay here for a bit? I need to catch up on some sleep.”
The white unicorn smiled gently. “Of course. There’s a spare bedroom upstairs if you want to use it.” With that, she disappeared into the next room.
He stood there for a moment, trying to judge the mare’s character. She was feisty, he knew that much, and was certain that she could more than take care of herself should the need arise. Given the way she was eager to make him clothes free of charge, he thought that she imagined it as more of a hobby than an actual job. Something fun to do that she made money from as well.
He stopped. Could all women immediately size him up when they met? His mind drifted back to the first time he met such a person. He remembered having a similar reaction to the one he'd had just now. Then he actually remembered the woman he was thinking about, and decided to snap back to reality. Some wounds never heal.
Stifling a yawn, he realized he was more tired than he had originally thought. Taking off his suit jacket, he made his way towards the staircase on the far side of the room, feeling more tired with every step. He couldn't help but realize that he had become more weary and less enduring since he arrived. Probably a by-product of the magic that brought him here.
He reached the top of the stairs and took a glance inside the first room on the right. It was simple, with a single bed and children's toys strewn all over the flaw. Bond doubted that Rarity had children, so he assumed it belonged to a sibling. He smiled slightly. The room felt like a impenetrable fortress of innocence; a safe and happy haven for whoever inhabited it. The only place that had made Bond safe when he was a child were the secret tunnels running underneath his family's lodge. They held some rather traumatic memories, too.
He decided to swiftly move on, feeling more tired by the second. A door was ajar at the end of the hallway. Peeking inside, he found that it was indeed the spare bedroom Rarity had directed him towards. Wasting no time, he threw his jacket on the floor, loosened his tie, and lay down. Millions of things were running through his mind, most of them beyond confusing, but exhaustion quickly took over as he drifted off to sleep.
***
The stallion sat behind his desk, waist deep in thought. A large, pungent cigar hung from his mouth, it’s strong odour permeating throughout the room. In his hooves were the latest reports from his men. The complications that had arisen the previous day were surprising, but otherwise irrelevant. It was a minor setback. They just needed time to plan.
A sharp knock on the door pulled his attention away from the report. “Come in,” he called, inhaling from his cigar. The door drifted open, revealing a unicorn mare.
“Good evening, Brute,” she said, trotting inside.
Brute Force smiled, and pulled a bottle of liquor from one of his desk’s drawers. “Ah, good to see you, my dear. Would you like a drink?”
“No, thank you,” the mare replied flatly.
“That’s a shame,” he commented, pouring himself a glass. “This really is some good stuff. Over a century old, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Very interesting. However, I’m sure you’re aware that I’m not here to discuss your taste in drinks.”
Brute took a sip and reclined back in his chair. “No, of course you’re not. Down to business then. I read your report about the escape. Five injured, one dead. We underestimated him." He stared into his glass, lost in thought. "Where did he go, Quill?”
Lavender Quill smirked. “He fell for it. I told him you’d kidnapped me; played the ‘damsel in distress’ card. Worked like a charm.”
“Yes, but where did he go?”
Quill leaned forward. “I sent him towards Ponyville, so it’s safe to assume he’s still there. We shouldn't waste time, though. A train for Canterlot leaves tomorrow. For all we know, he could be on it.”
Brute Force nodded and furrowed his brow, thinking. “We can’t take any risks this time. How many ponies have we got left after his little rampage?”
“Fifteen. It should suffice.”
“Then get them all ready. Tomorrow, we’re gonna get that son of a bitch back by any means necessary.”
Quill stood up. “Will do. I can also have a plan of attack ready by tomorrow morning, if you like.”
Brute smiled, flashing a set of crooked teeth. “Excellent. Good night, Lavender.”
The mare nodded, and swiftly left the room. Perfect, Brute thought, downing the last of his drink. There’s no way that bastard’s getting out now.
***
Refreshed. Yes, that was one word to describe it. James slowly opened his eyes and sighed peacefully. The last few hours had been a godsend. Some good sleep made him feel much better. Looking out the window, he deduced that he must have been asleep for most of the afternoon, as the sun was gently passing away beneath the horizon. He yawned slightly, and stretched, enjoying the satisfying feeling of his bones popping into place.
Now fully awake, Bond noticed a small pile of clothes and the end of his bed. There weren’t many; just a new suit and tie, a casual jacket and shirt, and some trousers. He didn’t know when he’d ever need to wear formal attire around here, as everypony seemed to walk around naked anyway, but he wasn’t complaining. Instead, he picked up a small note on top of the pile, that must have been left by Rarity.
Mr Bond,
I took great delight in making these for you, so I hope they are to your satisfaction. No payment required, of course. I thought it best not to disturb you when I dropped these off. You were out like a light, I must say. I’m afraid I haven’t got time to chat now, though, as my sister, Sweetie Belle, is here for the night. Feel free to stay for as long as you like.
James smiled at the mare’s generosity. Still, he thought it best not to impose, so he decided to head back to the library. Slipping on a pair of trousers and the casual jacket, he made his way downstairs and bid farewell to the unicorn, before stepping out into the brisk early evening air. The agent inhaled deeply, savouring the fresh air, of which he was unaccustomed to. London was all smog and pollution; here he could smell flowers, and fresh grass, and candy, and other such innocent things. It was a welcome relief.
The walk back to the library was uneventful, but relaxing. Rarity had mentioned, while he was on his way out, that Twilight had told her that he was welcome to join the librarian and her assistant for dinner. Realizing that there was no food at his hotel room, and that all of the shops and stalls had closed down for the day, he saw no other alternative. Reaching the front door of the oak tree, he knocked and waited for an answer.
“Come in!” came Twilight’s voice from somewhere inside. “Honestly, James, you don’t need to knock.” She appeared from another room as James stepped inside. “Rarity told you then? Good, the hay fries are just about done.”
Hay fries? You must be joking. Closing the front door behind him, 007 followed the lavender unicorn into the kitchen, where he found the dragon, Spike, already sat at a table.
“They look good on you,” Twilight commented, nodding towards James’ clothes. “I told you Rarity was a natural.”
“She didn’t even need to take measurements,” Bond told her. “Not many people can take someone’s size just by looking at them, much less a being they’ve never seen before.”
“Well, it is her special talent,” Twilight mused, putting piles of the so-called ‘hay fries’ onto three plates. “I hope this is alright for you, James. You didn’t mention your eating habits earlier.”
“No, it’s fine.” James moved through the kitchen and chose a spot at the table. The seats were small compared to what he was used to, but he supposed that was because ponies obviously had such smaller bodies. Honestly, he was surprised they had chairs at all. “Humans are omnivores," he explained. “We’ll stomach just about anything.”
“Omnivores?” Twilight picked up the plates in her aura of magic, and levitated them down onto the table. “As in, you can eat meat as well as other foods?”
"Most do," he said, after thanking her for the meal. "Although some choose not to. I guess it's a choice of preference."
"So, what kinds of meat do you usually eat?" Twilight asked tentatively, popping some fries into her mouth.
"Pork, steak and lamb are the staples, I'd say."
The mare gasped in shock. "Are you saying you slaughter innocent cows, pigs and sheep?" she asked accusingly. "Don't they try to fight back, or say something?"
Bond looked up. "Say something? How could they? They're animals."
Twilight paused. "Wait, so cows and sheep don't talk in your world?"
007 nearly spat out his food. "They do here?"
The unicorn nodded slowly, confused by his bewildered reaction. James' eye twitched slightly. Things keep getting stranger by the minute.
"Humans are the only sapient life on Earth," he explained. "And we make sure any livestock we have live good lives."
“Right...” Bond could tell that Twilight wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but she didn’t hold it against him. After all, what right did she have to argue with his nature? Bond made a mental note, however, to inform her that she needn’t change any of her usual eating habits to accommodate him in the future.
The meal was surprisingly tasty. A little bit of salt went a long way, it seemed. James certainly hadn’t expected to end his day eating hay when he woke up that morning. Then again, he hadn’t expected to end up in a world inhabited by technicolour talking ponies that morning either.
The rest of the evening was mostly uneventful. James spent most of it making idle conversation with Twilight and Spike after dinner. They mostly talked about each others worlds, as Twilight was always eager to learn something different, even if it seemed insignificant. She seemed a bit put off when he brought up some of the more bloody aspects of Earth’s history, so he made a mental note to dance around the subject should it be brought up in any conversations with others.
It was about ten o’clock by the time he reached his hotel room again. He wasn’t nearly as tired as before, but he figured a bit of sleep never hurt anyone. The first order of business for the following morning would be to pick up some food and supplies, but, for now, he was going to rest. For some reason, he felt that tomorrow was going to be an even more unusual day.
"Do you see what comes of all this running around, Mr. Bond? All this jumping and fighting, it's exhausting! Relax. You need to relax."
***
"Shh. Be quiet, I think he's waking up."
James' eyes flew open instinctively, completely aware and awake at the sound of the unknown voice. Slowly, as to not attract attention, he started to move his arm towards where he kept his gun. Not under the pillow, as was the common misconception and cliché. That was too dangerous, and wasn't worth the risk. No, he always kept his weapon in a bedside drawer, just in case.
As he felt for the knob to pull the drawer open, he carefully looked around the room. He could see light poking in through the curtains, so it must have been morning, but, strangely, the room was still pitch black. Could it be some sort of magic? Maybe. Unsure of what was going on, 007 quietly opened the drawer and pulled out his pistol. He inched out of bed, slowly making his way towards the lamp. His weapon raised, he flicked it on.
"SURPRISE!"
Bond nearly fired the weapon in shock, but he held restraint. Six ponies leaped up from behind the sofa in his hotel room, happy and innocent grins on their faces. He breathed a sigh of relief, recognizing the majority of them. It was Twilight and her friends, although a few of them he hadn't met. Still, they had thrown some sort of surprise party for him, so they had either gotten over their initial fear of him, or Twilight was just really good at persuading them to come. Somehow, he didn't doubt that.
"Good morning, James!" the lavender unicorn called out, beaming at him along with her friends. "Happy 'Welcome to Equestria' party!"
Bond glanced around his hotel room. Nothing much had changed, although they had somehow managed to tie a few balloons to the sofa while he had been sleeping. Before he could think anymore, the pink mare that he had bumped into the previous day bounced up to him.
"Do you like it?" she asked innocently. "It was Twilight's idea, mostly, but I planned the rest." She spoke modestly, yet with an air of pride at the same time.
"It's... nice," he told her, smiling slightly. He glanced around the room, looking for something to drink. There was some orange juiced laid out on the dining table, so he decided to have some. "Pinkie, was it? I never really expected anyone to go to this length to make me feel welcome."
"Don't be silly," she exclaimed. "When you arrived, I saw how everyone was scared of you, and that you were all alone, and that was sad. Everyone needs some friends, right? They're the things we can't do without!"
James nodded as Twilight stepped forward past her friend. "We know all you want to do is get home, James," she said to him. "But we had to at least make you feel welcome while you were here."
"Thank you," he told them all, genuinely touched. Truth be told, he hasn't had many friends, even in his earlier, teenage years. For these ponies to reach out and welcome him as a friend, without hardly knowing him at all, was quite heartwarming, even for a stone cold man such as he. Still, James felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb in Equestria, so he wouldn't waste any time in getting home. That didn't mean he couldn't enjoy his break before then, however. After dying and resurrecting, anyone would think that they needed some rest and relaxation.
They seemed hellbent on making him enjoy himself, so James obliged, idly chatting with a few of them while making himself some breakfast. They were genuinely friendly and happy, if a little timid around him, though that was to be expected. It was Twilight, however, who gave him the day's first piece of interesting information.
"James." The unicorn's formal voice distracted 007 from the light blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash. "I thought I should let you know that I've booked you and me onto the train to Canterlot at two thirty this afternoon. I think we should talk to Princess Celestia."
Bond hadn't really heard too much about the princess, so he wasn't quite ready to trust her. He didn't really know who to trust, actually. It felt as if his world had been turned upside down. "Alright then," he replied to her. "Whatever you think is best."
Twilight's innocent smile spread across her lips once more. "Great! I hope you don't mind, but we'll be staying at the castle for a few days."
"It's fine," he said, popping a slice of toast into his mouth.
As the rest of them chatted idly amongst themselves, James moved across the room and drew the curtains. The brilliant morning sunshine struck him as soon as he did so, and he was able to see the gleaming, bright streets below him; the happy ponies going about their everyday activities with unbridled glee. For a moment he felt a slight pang of envy run through him, but he quickly shrugged it off. In the end, it had been him alone that had chosen the grim nature of his work.
For a while, he just stared out at the world outside, contemplating. Contemplating his current predicament, contemplating his past, and the mistakes he had made. Looking at people, or ponies, as innocent as these, it got him thinking, maybe he could have done things better. For now, though, he wasn't quite sure what to make of things.
"James?" Again, it was Twilight's voice that snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you alright?"
"Hmm?" It took him a second to readjust, after being whipped back into reality. "I'm alright."
"You looked distant for a second there." She, along with the rest of her friends behind her, all looked concerned. "Are you sure everything's okay?"
"I'm sure," he answered, finishing off the last piece of his toast. "I think..." He paused for a second. "I think I just need a walk."
That seemed to perplex Twilight, but she shook it off quickly enough. "Okay then. Would you like some company?"
"No, thank you," he assured. "I appreciate the welcoming party, but I think I just need some time alone, if that's alright."
The lavender unicorn glanced at her friends, gauging their responses. They all shrugged, giving her a facial expression that said 'why not?' "Alright then," she relented. "We'll just stay here and clean things up then, I suppose."
"Thanks." James walked over to the bed and threw on his jacket. "I'll be back in a bit." Giving them a small wave of goodbye, he stepped out of his room and into the cramped hallway beyond, ready to stretch his legs and get some fresh air. The morning air outside was crisp, and it was a relief to be out instead of stuck inside a cramped hotel. Besides, he was going to have to endure a long train ride later, so he needed all the exercise he could get.
As he walked, Bond's mind began to wonder. What would he do if, by some chance, he wasn't able to get home? He assumed that a peaceful place such as this would not require a man of his skills. He smiled at the notion of him settling down peacefully in a village somewhere. Honestly, he thought he'd be dead before he saw something like that.
By now he had been walking for a while, and found himself near the center of town. Random ponies would sometimes wave and say hello as they trotted by, and he felt obliged to do the same in return. A few still held wary and suspicious gazes, but that was to be expected. Feeling slightly hungry, as he had only had a single slice of toast at the party, James decided to buy a toasted egg and cheese sandwich from a nearby market stall. Bacon would have been nice, but he doubted that he'd be having any of that any time soon.
Hungrily chewing on his sandwich, his attention turned towards the train station as the sound of a whistle reached his ears. The conductor announced the locomotive's arrival from a place called Dodge Junction, and Bond watched as a number of ponies, residents and tourists alike, stepped out onto the platform. Something stood out, however. Throughout the huge crowd, James was certain that a pair of eyes had been following him, and it wasn't just an innocent or curious stare either. No, he could tell from the glimpse he had gotten that whoever was watching him had malicious intentions, but he could not deduce who it was. Deciding to play it safe, and not draw any unwanted attention, 007 started to make his way back to the hotel.
Swiftly, he began to carve a path through the swelling crowd that had poured out from the station into the market. As soon as it had died down a little, Bond decided to try and figure out just who was following him. Stopping at a random stall, he pretended to be inspecting its wares, but instead kept watch over the route he had just taken out of the corner of his eyes. Sure enough, there was a dark blue pegasus, no older than twenty, who had his eyes locked onto him. He suddenly stopped, realizing what Bond was up to, and did the same, waiting for the human to make the first move.
Got you, Bond thought, moving away from the stand. He didn't know who this colt was, but he wasn't about to start taking chances. For all he knew, it could be a lackey of the stallion that had imprisoned him upon his arrival to this world. He needed to get back to his hotel room now, and warn the others if necessary. He had made it out of the crowd now, so it was becoming increasingly obvious that the pegasus was trailing him. Bond could tell that the colt was new at this; there was hardly any subtlety at all. Still, he pretended not to notice, to lull the pony into a false sense of security.
The colt seemed to slow down as James approached the front door of the hotel. Briefly checking behind him, Bond saw that the pegasus had broken off from following him, and had begun to sit down at a nearby restaurant table. From what he could tell, the colt had a perfect view of his hotel room.
Bond's mind raced as he made his way inside and upstairs. Did Brute Force's lackeys follow him all the way from that abandoned castle? Was the whole thing a ruse? Maybe it was something else entirely, but he couldn't be certain. Hoping that nothing had happened to the others, Bond pushed open the door to his room. Luckily, they were all fine. They had just finished cleaned up the room following his party, and were chatting before they noticed him enter.
"Hey James." The cyan pegasus, Rainbow Dash, called out to him. "Feeling better?"
"I'm fine," he answered quickly, before shifting his attention onto Twilight. "Twilight, are there any trains to Canterlot before this afternoon?"
The unicorn, confused by his question, took a few moments to respond. "I don't think so. Trains to the city only run every few days. Why?"
James nodded, before picking up his gun from the bedside table, stashing it in his holster and peeking outside. Sure enough, there was the blue pegasus, along with a few other stallions he hadn't seen earlier. There was no question about it; these were definitely the guys from the other night. "I'm not sure," he responded to her, turning away from the window. "But I think we might need to go somewhere else."
Twilight became even more confused. "What? Why?" she asked, moving towards him.
"It's a long story," Bond tried to explain. "Let's just say that when Lavender Quill brought me here, she was forced to do so by some unsavoury characters."
The six ponies around the room seemed to freeze as they realized what James was implying. However, before any of them could say anything about it, there was a knock on the door. Everyone stopped as they listened out for any voices on the other side. James turned to the rest of them, putting a finger to his lips, before creeping towards the door and opening it quickly.
Beyond the threshold was a light red unicorn stallion, that James recognized as one of the ones who had been waiting outside just now. Surprised by the human's sudden movement, the young unicorn's horn lit up, about to fire off a spell. Fortunately, Bond didn't give him the time. He grasped onto the door frame and pulled himself up, kicking out at the stallion with tremendous force. The unicorn spluttered as he was kicked in the gut and sent flying back into the wall behind him. He tried to get back up, but a swift punch to the temple from 007 ensured that he stayed down.
"Oh my gosh!" The southern-sounding mare, Applejack, cried out. "What was that all in aid of?"
"We need to go. Now," James called out urgently. "I don't have time to explain, but I need you all to trust me." They all crept out of the room and into the hallway. "All of you, get out through the back door and go home," he commanded. "And stay there for a few hours until everything's settled down. It won't be safe out here." As he spoke, he kept his gun trained on the stairs, in case any more of Brute Force's goons came up.
The six of them looked at each other, unsure of what to do, before finally agreeing. Twilight, on the other hand, had other ideas.
"No, James, I'm coming with you. We're still going to Canterlot!"
"Twilight!" It was Rarity who called out. "You can't go out there! Celestia knows what they'll do to you!"
The purple unicorn was adamant. "I know the risks, but James seems to have gotten in a bit over his head. Please. I'll be fine, I promise."
The five of her friends paused, before nodding solemnly. "Okay, Twi," Applejack told her. "Just take care of yourself, y'hear?"
"I will." Twilight embraced her friends quickly before ushering them away. She looked after them for a moment, before turning back to Bond. "Okay, what are we going to do?"
"There was a train at the station," he told her, formulating a plan in his head. "With any luck, it's still there. We can use it to get out of here."
"Steal a train? Are you crazy?!"
"Do you feel like waiting around here until this afternoon with those lunatics?" James snapped at her. The mare recoiled, so he decided to go a bit softer. "Look, we need to get to Canterlot, as you said. Might as well be sooner rather than later."
It was obvious that Twilight didn't like the idea, especially when it came to theft. However, she didn't see any other choice, so she nodded confidently. "Alright then, James. Let's go."
"Right. Stick behind me. Any sign of trouble, just let me handle it." His weapon readied, Bond began to creep down the stairs, just waiting for another one of those bastards to rear their faces. Reaching the bottom of the stairs and stepping into the reception area, he could make out voices coming from outside.
"What's going on in there?" one asked, in a hushed voice.
"I dunno. I can't hear anything," came another, this time deeper. "You think something's up?"
Bond continued to listen as he peeked through the front window curtains. There were four stallions waiting outside the front door; one pegasus and the rest earth ponies. He considered his options. He could gun down all four of them right there through the window, but he felt that they needed to explain themselves first. Motioning for Twilight to stay back, he crept up to the front door. He took a deep breath, and kicked. The door nearly flew off it's hinges, and the four goons were taken by surprise. Capitalizing on this, Bond leaped forward and grabbed the pegasus, putting an arm around his neck while training his gun on the rest, who had recovered.
"Hold it," the human ordered. "Make a move and your friend gets it."
"P-piss off," the pegasus in his grip managed to splutter, barely able to breathe.
There was a tense standoff as the three earth stallions tried to figure out what to do. Eventually, one stood forward. "Drop it," he commanded, desperately trying to sound braver than he felt. "We got the whole place surrounded. You try and pull anything and you'll be leaving this backwater town in a box."
"You wouldn't do that." James called him out on his bluff. "I'm your boss's 'perfect weapon', aren't I? I bet you've got explicit orders to take me in alive somehow."
The young stallion looked uneasily to his friends. Suddenly, Bond caught him looking to the side with hope in his eyes. Quickly whipping his weapon to match his gaze, he saw the pegasus that had been trailing him earlier barreling towards him. Without thinking, 007 pulled the trigger twice, sending his attacker falling to the ground. Panicked, his friends charged forward, but were caught off guard when Bond kicked the pegasus he had been holding towards them. As they tripped and fell, James dispatched them quickly. The four of them slumped to the ground, their blood pooling on the ground beneath them.
"Oh, Celestia," was all Twilight managed to murmur as she tentatively stepped outside into the carnage. "What have you done?"
"Defended us, and probably saved your life," James said without remorse. "Come on, we need to keep moving."
"You don't care, do you?" Twilight asked quietly, as he began to walk.
"What?" James turned around again to face her.
"You don't care that you just murdered five ponies in cold blood!" Twilight exclaimed, her anger rising.
"Cold blood?" James responded. "In case you hadn't noticed, they were attacking. You'd probably be dead yourself if it wasn't for me." He stopped as she continued to glare at him. "Make no mistake, I don't enjoy this, but sometimes it has to be done. Kill, or be killed. Now come on, we need to get to Canterlot, don't we?"
The unicorn went to say something in retaliation, but stopped herself. She sighed, and looked up at him. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Come on."
They made their way through the town quickly, without speaking a word to each other. Other ponies, having heard the gunshots, watched them with fear, but didn't interrupt them. Soon enough, they arrived at the train station. Thankfully, the train from earlier was still there, and it's driver was nowhere to be found.
"Come on then," Twilight announced, approaching the station. "If we're going to take this train, we need to it no-" She was cut short as Bond stopped her. He pointed towards the station in response to her questioning look. Sure enough, she saw another suspicious looking stallion, this time a unicorn.
Putting a finger to his lips, Bond motioned for Twilight to stay put. He crept up towards the station, making sure to stay out of the unicorn's line of sight. He got closer, and closer, and still the stallion didn't notice him. Finally, he was close enough. In one swift movement, he put one arm around the unicorn's neck and muffled his worried cried with his other hand. The stallion struggled briefly, desperately trying to escape from 007's vice grip, but to no avail. His body went limp, and James laid him down gently. He turned to Twilight, and called her over to him.
"Did you kill him as well?" she asked accusingly.
"No, he'll be fine," James shot back. "Come on, let's go before more show up."
They both clambered into the train car. It was almost identical to any other steam engine he'd seen before, not that he had much experience with them. Still, he assumed he knew the basics, so he ordered Twilight to shovel some coal into the engine while disengaging the brakes. Sure enough, the train started to move, and they were on their way to Canterlot.
"So, what's the plan?" James asked his unicorn accomplice after they had picked up some speed.
"We're going straight to Princess Celestia," Twilight told him. "I'm not sure I trust you anymore, James."
The mountain air was chilly and cut into the both of them as the train made its way up the mountain track. James yawned and looked out upon the valley; upon the town of Ponyville and the adjacent forest that was rapidly fading into the distance. The train was running steady, and he had stolen the only one scheduled to run on the line that day, so he didn’t have to worry about any obstacles getting in the way.
Twilight had calmed down considerably since they had left town. She still had a wary look in her eye, but she seemed to accept the fact that Bond had killed with necessity. Not to say she agreed with it, but she accepted the fact all the same. After all, she’d rather not think about what those dirty stallions would have done to her and her friends had he not been there to protect them and the rest of town. He had explained everything after they had left, so she understood his problem.
The door to the engine car swung open and Twilight entered. She didn’t say a word, but instead used her magic to shovel some more coal into the fire.
"Look, Twilight," Bond spoke up. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I scared you."
"Thanks, James," she replied. "But it's alright, I understand. You were just protecting me and yourself." She turned around and looked up at him. "Just tell me one thing, though."
He nodded. "Go ahead."
"How do you deal with it?" she asked. "How do you wash away all the things you've done, and what you'll have to do?"
"You don't," he answered simply. "There's no time to think, you have to act. If there's one thing I've learned, you either shoot first, or don't shoot at all. It's just the way it is."
"Don't you ever look for a non-lethal option?"
"When I draw my gun I'm committed to using lethal force," he explained to her. "If I try to shoot someone non-lethally, I'm either going to hit a vital vein or artery and end up killing them anyway, or miss completely and wind up dead myself." He looked away from the view of the valley and down at her. "In the end, you can't take any chances."
Twilight nodded slowly, processing the information. "I understand where you're coming from, James. Our methods may be different, but our goal is the same."
"And what goal would that be?"
"Keeping innocent ponies safe," she said to him. "After all, I'm the Element of Magic. If some ancient evil threatens Equestria, my friends and I are the only ones who can stop it."
James nodded. There were a few moments of silence, before he spoke up again. “How far are we from Canterlot?"
“A few minutes, tops.” She looked up at him, but didn’t hold her gaze, looking out upon the valley soon after. “I’d bet the elements that the princesses already know we’re coming.”
“Because of what happened back there?” James asked, checking to see the train had enough fuel to keep going.
“Bingo. It’d be a surprise if there isn’t a squad of royal guards waiting for us when we arrive. Heck, my brother’s probably with them.”
“Your brother’s part of the royal guard?” Bond asked, hoping to start a conversation that would steer away from the somewhat touchy topic they had been discussing earlier.
“Try captain of the royal guard,” Twilight corrected. “And Prince of the Crystal Empire, to top it all off.” She smiled distantly. “Still, I couldn’t ask for a better brother.”
“You got along well as kids?” Bond wondered.
She chuckled. “That’s like saying Fluttershy just ‘gets along’ with her animals.” She sighed and smiled again. “We did everything together. He was my B.B.B.F.F.”
James looked at her, a puzzled expression on his face.
“Big Brother Best Friend Forever.” She answered his silent question almost instantly, as if she’d had to do it multiple times before. “Look, we’re almost there.” She pointed upwards as the train reached the top of the mountain and approached the regal city. James gazed up in awe at the tall, gilded towers and majestic architecture, like something out of a fantasy novel. The capital of Equestria truly was a sight to behold, and James finally understood Rarity’s obsession with the city’s culture and society, for it was obviously a place of nobility.
“Ready to face the music?” His companion asked as he started to apply the train’s brakes. “Honestly, I don’t know how Princess Celestia is going to react.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Bond replied. “After all, you are her personal student, right?”
“All the more reason to not disappoint her, James!”
“Don’t worry,” he reassured her. “If she’s anything like you said she is before, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” As for himself, he wasn’t sure. Celestia might not be as welcoming as her student was, after all. On the other hand, the student always learned from the master.
His thoughts were interrupted by the train rolling to a stop in the station. As the steam cleared, both he and Twilight were surprised to see that there wasn’t a welcoming party of guards to greet them. In fact, there was nothing to hint that anything was out of the ordinary at all.
“So, I create a national crisis in a nearby town, and the guard here don’t seem to care?” James commented. “Yet another victory for gross incompetence, it seems.”
"Oh hush, James," Twilight reprimanded. "For all we know, they could have beefed up security in the castle itself."
"They're two immortal goddesses," 007 scoffed. "Doesn't sound like they need much security to me."
“Immortal doesn’t always equal invulnerable,” she replied. “Although I will admit, they do know how to take care of themselves. Still, we better make our way up to the castle.”
James went to say something in return, to continue the conversation, but was cut off when a group of guards approached them. “Well, so much for peace and quiet,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Gross incompetence, huh?” Twilight sighed. She should have known the absence of ponies around the train station was too good to be true. In all likeliness, the guards had cordoned off the train station and the few blocks surrounding it, in preparation for their arrival. “Good evening, gentlecolts,” she called out to them. “How can I help you?”
“Miss Sparkle!” the officer of the group barked towards her, while the rest of them adopted an aggressive stance. “Step away from the creature immediately!”
“He has a name!” she shouted, ignoring his order. “I know you want to take him to Princess Celestia, but the fact of the matter is, he’s not going anywhere without me.”
“Listen to reason, Miss Sparkle!” the officer replied, still glaring at 007. “You don’t know what it’s capable of!”
“I know perfectly well what he’s capable of, sir!” Twilight stepped in front of James in a protective manner. “But I also know he wouldn’t hurt someone for no reason!”
“No, Twilight, it’s fine,” James told her softly, walking past her towards the guards, his hands in the air. The guards immediately surrounded him, spears raised menacingly, and started to escort him towards the castle that towered over the city. Frustrated, Twilight galloped after them.
“For the last time, Miss Sparkle,” the officer hissed. “The princess wants to speak alone with this... thing.” It took all of his effort to remain composed and not raise his voice at the annoyingly stubborn mare. “Accommodation has been provided for you in the west wing of the castle. I suggest you make your way there as soon as possible.”
“No,” she told him, much to his ire. “I’m staying with James. Besides, the captain of the guard wouldn’t want to find out that you’ve been harassing his sister, would you?”
The officer stiffened, and grimaced. After a few seconds, he replied. “No ma’am. This way, ma’am.”
“I didn’t think so.” Twilight smiled smugly, trailing close behind the group of guards as they made their way away from the train station. Confirming her suspicions, the area around the station had been cordoned off by the city guard. A large group of curious ponies had gathered behind the fence, eager to see what all of the commotion was about. When they laid eyes upon Bond, a few of them recoiled in shock, unsure of the strange creature before their eyes.
“You ready?” Twilight whispered to James as they approached the swelling crowd.
“Of course,” he murmured back, scanning the ponies in the crowd. “Besides, it’s not like any of them are stupid enough to mess with the guards, right?”
“I hope you’re right. Ponies in Canterlot tend to be a little more... unsure of new things or people. This is the most heavily guarded city in the world, after all.”
The guards who were guarding the fence noticed them approaching and lifted the tape to let them through. Most ponies in the crowd stepped away as the guards escorted James through, however some made sure to voice their shock and disgust.
“What is that thing?”
“Such a vile creature, in our fair city?!”
The officer’s patience was beginning to wear thin. “Everypony, disperse! Return to your homes immediately!” Shoving a few stubborn stallions out of the way, the group of them picked up the pace, making their way towards the castle. The crowd was not swayed so easily, however, and many curious ponies followed the group through the streets.
They soon reached the front gate of the castle. A few more groups of guards approached from the castle itself to hold back the crowd. Thankful for the new found peace, James continued with his de facto captors into the castle itself. Every single guard seemed to be standing guard in the castle’s foyer, beside two mares; one, large and pearly white, the other slightly smaller and dark blue. Must be Celestia and Luna, Bond assumed.
“Halt!” the officer in front of him barked, turning to face him. “Bow before your ruler!”
Before James could say or do anything in reaction, Celestia, spoke. “Stand down, sir.” She spoke softly, but with a commanding undertone. “My sister and I wish to speak with our guest.”
The officer stiffened again. “Of course, your majesty.” His group of guards retreated from their protective circle around James, allowing him to approach the princesses with Twilight. He took a few steps towards them before Luna stepped in front of him.
“Before you come any closer, please relinquish your weapon, Mr. Bond.”
James scanned her for a few seconds, before relenting. Reluctantly, he reached inside his jacket and drew his handgun, holding it in the air. Luna took the weapon in her magic and gave it to another unicorn beside her, who carefully took it out of the room.
“Try not to point it at anything you’re fond of,” James called after him, before turning back to the royalty before him. They both eyed him warily, but did not seem hostile. If anything, they seemed slightly welcoming. The silence continued, so he spoke up. “Good evening, your majesties.”
“And to you, Agent 007,” Celestia replied, a small yet noticeable mischievous grin upon her face. “I hope the guards weren’t too rough on you.” She took note of his bewildered and accusing expression and laughed. “Don’t worry James, your secrets are safe with us, I can assure you.”
Twilight, meanwhile, was just as confused as he was. “‘Agent 007’? James, what haven’t you told me?”
“We shall explain that to you later, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Luna told her with a warm, friendly smile. “For now, my sister and I would like to talk to Mr. Bond alone.” Twilight looked up at Princess Celestia, who also smiled and nodded. “If you are hungry, the chefs will be more than happy to cook something for you.”
Twilight sighed. “No, it’s alright, princess.” She looked at James uncertainly. “I think I’ll just make my way to my room; the one that the guard mentioned.”
“Very well.” Luna nodded, holding out a hoof. “Well, I look forward to catching up with you later.”
Twilight smiled and took her hoof, pulling the moon goddess into a friendly hug. Luna was briefly surprised, but soon returned the favour. “I look forward to it, Luna.” Twilight turned and trotted out of the room, waving goodbye as she went.
James watched as she left, before turning back to the alicorns before him. “Well, I’m here,” he said to them. “What do you want?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow, before turning around to open the doors of the main hall. The two of them entered, leaving him to follow. The hall itself was massive, yet barely furnished. At the very end of the room were two large thrones, but, other than that, there was not much else of note. Celestia and Luna walked down to the far side of the room and sat on their thrones. Before James could say anything, there was a small flash and another, smaller chair, appeared out of nowhere. Encased in Celestia’s magical glow, it was placed in front of the two thrones.
“Please, Mr. Bond, sit,” Princess Celestia asked softly, gesturing to the chair. “We have much to discuss.”
Deciding to go along with whatever she wanted, James obliged. The chair was comfy enough, but still a little small for his larger body.
Princess Luna cleared her throat, drawing his attention. “So, do you know why we had the guards bring you here, Mr. Bond?”
“I can hazard a guess,” James answered. He felt like a schoolboy, reporting to the headmaster because he was in trouble. “Something to do with the trouble I caused back in Ponyville, right?”
“That would be correct,” Celestia replied curtly. “After all, you did kill five ponies.”
“I was protecting Twilight, and the rest of town.” James defended his case.
“For which we thank you,” Luna interrupted. “We only wish to know why those ponies wanted you in the first place.”
Fair enough. Deciding to start from the top, James started to divulge the course of events that had transpired since his arrival in this strange new world.
***
The room was warm and hospitable, as they always were, for which Twilight was thankful. Still, she couldn’t get any sleep. The things she had seen today proved such luxuries impossible. Instead, the used her time to do some research. If what James had said was true, she needed to know any information about it.
A light knock on the door snapped her attention away from the third book she had been skimming through. “Come in,” she called.
The door opened and James entered, still wearing the jacket Rarity made for him but carrying what looked like a tailored suit. “Hey,” he greeted her softly. “You alright?”
Twilight glanced down at her books and yawned, before looking back up at him. “Yeah, I’m fine, James.”
“You sound tired,” he observed.
She shrugged. “Maybe a little.” A smirk spread across her face. “What’s the suit for?”
“A party,” he told her, pulling out an invitation. “The royals are having a night out to a prestigious casino tomorrow evening, if you can believe that. Apparently, I’m the guest of honour.”
“A party? Didn’t you tell them about the crazy cultists who want to overthrow the throne?”
“Of course I did,” he told her, feigning offense. “Which is why I’m supposedly doubling as security.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, and chuckled. “Of course, because you look so inconspicuous.” James chuckled as well. “I'm guessing you did something similar back home, 'agent'." He nodded. "So, am I invited as well?”
“Not exactly.” James held out the invitation in his hand. “But I can take a plus one.”
She grinned. “Guess I’d better find something to wear, then.” She hopped to her hooves and trotted past him, towards the wardrobe. “Funny,” she wondered aloud. “I didn’t take the princesses for fans of gambling.”
“Apparently, they’re not,” James said. “Their nephew is, though.”
Twilight poked her head out from the wardrobe. “Prince Blueblood?” she groaned. “I should have known.”
“Bad experience?” Bond asked.
“Not personally,” she called out, still sifting through the assortment of garments in the wardrobe. “Talk to Rarity about it sometime, I’m sure she’d be just happy to tell you about it.”
Bond chuckled again. “Maybe I’ll ask her then.” He glanced at the clock, which read eleven o’clock. “It’s getting late,” he told her. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turned to leave, before remembering something. “Oh, and we’re having breakfast tomorrow morning, before a brief of some sort. Eight o’clock sharp.”
“I’ll set an alarm then,” Twilight replied, stepping out of the wardrobe. “Goodnight, James.” She smiled and waved as he bid her farewell and left the room.
Alone again, Twilight glanced around the hotel suite. She knew she needed sleep, but there were more important things to worry about right now. She trotted back to the desk, covered in books and papers, and started to read again. Something evil was out there, threatening the throne as well as the citizens of Equestria, and she needed to find out what.
“How can they be everywhere and we know nothing about them?”
***
These ponies were more dangerous than they looked.
Bond couldn’t help but be impressed by everything going on around him. The sterile lab environment was a far cry from the architecture in the rest of the castle above, where Elizabethan-esque columns and corridors were the order of the day. Scientist ponies were trotting to and fro, recording data from their experiments with new weapon and armor types. Swords, spears, maces, and even some strange looking crossbows were being wielded by various test subjects around the large, sterile room.. They would give each weapon a few test swings or shots, using items such as pieces of fruit for targets, and then furiously scribble down their results for analysis later. It reminded 007 of Q Branch back at MI6, though they had always been about developing tracking devices and the like. Sometimes even the odd exploding pen.
Princess Luna cleared her throat in front of him, pausing in the middle of the large room, and he abruptly stopped looking around. She was staring right at him, with his gun floating beside her, inside of a magical aura. “Mr. Bond, your weapon.” The gun floated towards him, and he caught it in his grasp. James felt the weight of the firearm in his hands and checked the sights, before slotting it into his shoulder holster, satisfied that everything was in order.
“We’ve also provided you with some additional ammunition, as well," Luna continued. Three full magazines came floating from a scientist behind her and into his hands also.
“How?” James asked bluntly.
Luna smirked. “We’re not stupid, Mr. Bond. We know how to easily replicate any new tech we come across. What, did you think we chop up watermelons down here just for the fun of it?” She snickered slightly at her own joke. “Besides, we’re not done yet. If you’re going to be escorting my sister and I this evening, you shall need to know the plan.”
“Honestly, I didn’t take either of you for gambling ponies,” James commented, following her as she lead him towards the exit of the laboratory.
“We’re usually not,” Luna replied, “but first impressions aren’t everything, Mr. Bond. My sister and I do like to take time out and have some fun. Ponies always assume we are both nothing more than boring aristocrats, but this is not the case.”
Bond nodded, continuing to follow her as they exited the lab and made their way towards the regular parts of the castle. “So, what is this plan?”
“It’s rather simple, really,” she told him, her hooves clopping against the marble floors of the castle. The sound echoed off the high walls of the large hallway, serving to amplify the sound. “Nothing too complicated, but we’ll explain it in detail later on, at the briefing.”
“Briefing?”
“A few of our guards will be attending as well, in casual uniform,” she explained. “We don’t want to attract any more attention than we need, right?”
Bond raised an eyebrow quizzically. “And yet, I’m going to be escorting you. Me, the unknown creature from a strange, faraway world.” He joked as the princess turned around to face him.
“To anypony else, it’ll look like you’re there to have fun, not protect us. Having armoured guards escort us only gives ponies a reason to be suspicious.”
“So you want me to behave like some sort of diplomat, or something?” James could see some logic behind her idea.
“If you want. Ponies will be expecting you to carry yourself in a way that is expected around royalty,” she told him, before continuing up the stairs and into the main hall. “Canterlot nobility is rather picky like that. Most tend to act towards less formal manners with some disdain.”
“And what about you?” 007 asked. “What do you think about how people should behave around you and your sister?”
“I spent almost the last thousand years imprisoned inside the moon, James.” Luna looked up at him for a moment, before turning away. “Truth be told, I am still getting used to modern Equestrian society. Everything seems so new, even foreign to me.” She looked up at him and chuckled slightly. “When I first returned, it took me almost an hour to just figure out how to make myself a meal with all of this modern technology.”
Bond smirked. “Couldn’t you have just gotten one of the castle chefs to make you something?”
She shook her head, turning around and continuing across the room to a large staircase. “I considered it, briefly. But I never did like getting waited on. It only invites laziness.”
"I can understand that," he sympathised as she led him up the expansive staircase. "Though I don't suppose I've ever had the luxury of being waited on all day and night in the first place."
"It is really not much to envy," the princess reassured him, reaching the second floor of the castle. "Most of the time, it feels like the waiters are just getting in the way." They entered a long hallway, which James recognised as the route to the both his and Twilight's rooms.
"When is the briefing, exactly?" he asked her.
"This afternoon, at four o'clock," she answered. "We'll be leaving the castle at six. For now, I've ordered for some lunch to be brought up for you and Twilight Sparkle." James raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. "Yes, I am aware of the irony, given the conversation we were just having." Luna giggled slightly and rolled her eyes as they reached his bedroom door.
"Right then." James turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, before turning back to the princess. "Wait, just one more thing. Is there anything I should know about this nephew of yours? Prince Blueblood.
Luna seemed to grimace slightly, but it disappeared quickly. "Not much, only what you already know. He is a distant nephew of mine and my sister."
"How is it that you have a nephew, exactly? You said you were imprisoned in the moon."
"My sister and I are over one thousand years old, Mr. Bond. Ample time to have more than a few suitors, wouldn't you say?"
James understood the implication. "I see. So he's a prince?"
"Technically, he's a Duke," she explained. "But he insists that everypony call him otherwise."
"Right then." Doesn't sound like the most pleasant character. "Is that all?"
"It is." She nodded towards him and turned to leave. "I'll leave you to your lunch. See you later, James."
"Bye," he said simply, before stepping through the threshold into the luxurious bedroom suite. Twilight was already sitting on a sofa in the living area, nibbling tentatively on a salad. She looked up as he walked in, and smiled.
"Good afternoon, James," she said cheerily. "How was it?"
He paused for a second, choosing the right word with which to respond. "Rather strange, honestly. I didn't expect such heavy firepower from the researchers down there."
"From what I hear, the princesses hired a lot of researchers to look into improved weapons and armour after the changeling invasion of the city," she told him, reading through a book lying next to her salad as she talked. "I've been wanting to ask. How did the princesses know you were a secret agent, or whatever you are?"
Bond sat down on a chair opposite from her, pouring himself a glass of apple cider. "Like you said before we met them, they're goddesses. Practically deities. I wouldn't be surprised if they knew some sort of spell that could look into my world, or perhaps read my memories."
"Memory reading spells require immense power and physical connection between the caster and the subject," she commented absentmindedly. "To be able to perform one discreetly and from a distance requires a great deal of power. It doesn't surprise me that only Celestia and Luna could do such a thing."
He took a sip of the cider, and helped himself to a few crackers from a plate on the table. "Looking forward to tonight?" he asked the mare across from him after a few moments.
His sudden question startled her slightly, so she looked up from her book suddenly. "Oh, I suppose so. I've never really been to a casino before, so I'm not sure what to expect. I don't really gamble. Do you?"
James smirked. "Oh, a little bit, sometimes." His sarcasm seemed to fly over Twilight's head.
"Well, I'm sure we'll have a great time regardless." She returned to glance down at her book, using her magic to flip the page. "It's an immense privilege to accompany the princesses on a night out."
"Didn't you ever get special privileges?" Bond wondered. "Being the princess’ student, I'm sure you did. Though not spoilt, else you wouldn't be as independent and strong-willed as you've proven yourself to be."
The mare blushed slightly at his compliment. "Correct with your deductions again. No, apart from near free reign of the castle's libraries, Princess Celestia didn't really shower me with gifts, just provided the role of a loving teacher."
Bond’s thoughts flashed back briefly to his aunt, who had cared for and tutored him after his parents died. She had provided a similar role to the one Twilight had just described, and had been the only person he felt that he had any sort of real emotional attachment to. But that was a very long time ago. He didn’t say a word, and only nodded silently towards her, contemplating how events could transpire later that night.
***
The bright, neon lights of the Royal Canterlot Casino were not easily missed, especially when it was the only building of real significance within the area. As the royal carriage turned the corner into that street, James was nearly blinded by the shining, flashing lights. Sat next to him was Twilight, outfitted in a simple yet elegant white dress, and, across from them, sat the two regal sisters and their nephew, Prince Blueblood, who had made a habit of looking at Bond with unsubtle disgust whenever their eyes seemed to meet.
“It looks like we’ve arrived,” Luna commented, noticing the prince’s expression as the carriage drew to a halt. “Thank you, sirs,” she called to the guards who had been pulling. They nodded stoically, but remained silent.
They all clambered out of the carriage, one by one, with James emerging last of all. Blueblood stuck close to Luna, and Bond overheard him whisper something to her.
“Auntie,” he whispered, casting a backward glance at the human behind him. “Forgive me, but why did you bring the creature along with us?”
She sighed lightly, but Blueblood didn’t seem to notice. “Dear nephew, Mr. Bond is accompanying us because he is an ambassador to our country, and therefore is deserving of all the honours typically bestowed upon a foreign ambassador.”
“Yes, but an ambassador from where, exactly?” The agitation in his voice was quite clear at this point.
Luna remained silent for a second, contemplating her response. “Well,” she said after a few moments. “That’s for us to find out, isn’t it, dear nephew?”
“Yes, auntie.” The prince’s tone was flat, and defeated. James was starting to dislike this stallion more and more as time went on. Deciding not to comment on it, he remained quiet as the five of them entered the large casino.
The casino floor was massive, lined with rows upon rows of slot machines, blackjack, and poker tables. It seemed that, even in this innocent looking world of magic and talking ponies, there were vices some could not escape. There was a decent-sized bar near the back of the room, and a door to the side that led into the ‘entertainment lounge’, according to a sign engraved next to it. The moment the group of them entered, they were hounded by reporters and excited nobles alike, all trying to get a word into the princesses. Out of the corner of his eye, James noticed a few of the plainclothes guards Luna had mentioned earlier discreetly pull away a few overly hyperactive ponies from the crowd.
“We are just going to mingle for a while,” Princess Celestia announced, both to them and the crowd around them. “By all means, feel free to play some games and have fun.” A pile of chips, encased in her golden magical aura, floated into his right coat pocket, and he noticed that Twilight received the same gift also.
“Something to get you started,” Celestia told him, with a playful wink, before turning and heading towards the door James had noticed before, her sister in tow.
007 watched them as they walked away, before turning back towards Twilight. “Well,” he started. “What do you want to do?”
The mare shrugged, looking around at the flashing lights that adorned almost every corner of the room. “I don’t mind really, James. Honestly. I think I’ll just go get a drink.”
“Perfect idea,” he agreed, going to follow her. Then he remembered that Celestia had left her nephew with her, and turned back to him. Blueblood looked back with disdain, before adjusting his bowtie. “And what are you doing?” James asked.
“Blackjack is my game,” he answered, still not looking Bond in the eye. “If, for some unknown reason, you need to find me, that is where I’ll be.” Without another word, Blueblood trotted down the stairs and onto the main casino floor.
“A drink, then?” Twilight suggested, trotting towards the bar as Bond followed next to her. “What will you be having?”
“I don’t know,” he told her as they reached the bar. The lone bartender was busy shaking another pony’s cocktail. Still undecided, James spied a number of bottles behind the bar.
“I think I might settle with a vodka martini, or something,” Twilight said, finishing a sentence that Bond had not picked up on. “What about you, James?”
James pondered over an idea, something that he hadn’t drunk in a long time. Oh, why not? He called out for the bartender, who trotted over. He took a wary look at Bond, but smiled again. “Good evening, sir.” He turned to Twilight. “Ma’am. What can I get you?”
“A vodka martini for Twilight,” James started, before turning to her. “Shaken or stirred?” She shrugged. “Shaken, stirred, whatever you feel like.”
“Very well.” The bartender nodded. “And for you, sir?”
“Start off with a dry martini.” The stallion in front of him went to turn around and start, before James stopped him. “Just a minute.” He pointed to a few of the dusty old bottles on the shelf behind the bartender. “Add three measures of Maredon’s, one of vodka, then half a measure of Kina Filly.” He squinted, barely making out the names of the familiar sounding spirits. “Shake until ice-cold, then add a thin slice of lemon peel.”
The stallion stared at him for a brief moment, before snapping out of his stupor. “Certainly, sir.” He turned around and began to mix the complicated drink.
“Gosh, that’s certainly a drink,” Twilight commented, relaxing and leaning against the bar. “You drink much, then?”
“Oh, only in moderation,” he replied sarcastically, chuckling. The bartender returned with his drink, and James thanked him. “I have an idea,” he announced suddenly.
“What is it?, James?” she wondered, looking up at him curiously.
“Shall we go and see how the princesses are doing?” he asked, taking a sip of his cocktail.
Twilight’s face lit up. “That’s a great idea,” she said. “I think they’re having dinner right now. Shall we go and join them?”
“I think we should,” he replied. “I am supposed to be part of the security, after all.”
Twilight nodded, and started to lead him away from the bar. They decided to cut across the casino floor, and, as they did so, they noticed Prince Blueblood a few tables away.
“This is preposterous!” they heard him shout, thrusting his cards towards the dealer. Two kings and a jack, Bond noticed. Definitely not a good hand. “I refuse to play any longer!” With that, he stormed away from the table and made his way towards another part of the casino floor, crossing paths with James and Twilight.
“Not having a good night, are we?” James asked, slapping the prince on the shoulder as he walked past. Blueblood turned, eye twitching, to retort, but decided against it at the last moment. Instead, he turned and walked away angrily, muttering under his breath.
“James, you’re terrible!” Twilight scolded, though she failed to suppress a snicker.
“Maybe blackjack isn’t the good prince’s game after all,” Bond commented wryly, smirking as they exited the casino floor and walking towards the door marked ‘entertainment lounge’.
“So, James, what exactly do you call that thing anyway?” the mare wondered, nodding towards the drink that was still in his hands. She took a sip of her own martini, before looking up at him again with curiosity.
Bond seemed to tense up slightly. “A Vesper,” he answered simply. “It’s a long story.”
“Is there a chance I’ll hear it sometime?”
“Maybe,” he replied, a little more harsh in tone than he had intended. Twilight went quiet, and looked at him with sympathy in her eyes as they entered the lounge. Okay, that’s a soft subject, she thought to herself. I probably shouldn’t go there.
The entertainment lounge was a relatively large room, with a large dance floor in the middle surrounded by restaurant tables, most of them filled with happy, hungry patrons dining on fine cuisine. At the back of the room James noticed the two princesses, who were surrounded by what looked like a few higher-class nobles, all of them eating and talking merrily.
“There they are,” Twilight pointed out, trotting towards them. Bond followed, eyeing his surroundings. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, so he kept moving. As walked up a small flight of stairs to where the two princesses were seated, he accidentally bumped into one of their waiters, who tripped and fell.
“Sorry, sir,” the stallion apologised as Bond helped him to his hooves.
“It’s fine,” James reassured him. “Are you alright?”
“I’m okay, thank you. Sorry, but I have an order to fulfill.” Without another word, he hurried away.
James went to turn and follow Twilight again, but something stopped him. That stallion was familiar. His voice, his colour palette. He could have sworn that he had seen the pony somewhere before. Looking back at the waiter, Bond noticed that he was trotting with an obvious limp.
“You go on, I have to do something,” he called back to Twilight, before following the stallion. He heard the mare’s words of protests, but ignored them. He knew where he had seen the waiter before, and, if he was right, then everyone was in danger.
He followed the stallion behind an employees-only door that led to an empty corridor. Perfect, Bond thought, quickening his pace. The waiter was still unaware of the fact that he was being tailed, something that James intended to capitalise on. He got behind him, grabbed him by the neck, and shoved him against the wall.
“Gah! What in Tartarus are you doing?!” the waiter gasped, struggling for air as Bond clutched at his neck.
“Save it!” he growled, glaring at the stallion. “Don’t think I don’t remember. You were there, at the old castle ruins. I could have killed you back then, but I didn’t. Doesn’t mean I won’t now.”
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about!” the waiter tried to claim, but Bond didn’t buy it. He thrust him back against the wall hard. The stallion cried out in pain, the back of his head bouncing off the concrete wall.
“Don’t bullshit me!” James barked. “Why are you here? Is it to kill the princesses, is that it?”
The pony struggled again for a few seconds, before finally resigning himself. He sighed, and chuckled darkly. “You catch on quick,” he rasped, still struggling for air but having decided to give up the charade. “You’re too late, anyway. Don’t tell me you’re stupid enough to think I’m the only one here.”
James’ eyes widened. In an instant, he drove his captive’s head back into the wall again and, with an audible crack, he fell to the ground, knocked out cold. Without a second thought, 007 turned and ran. Hopefully, he wasn’t too late.
Ponies were still seated at their tables, drinking wine, eating overpriced gourmet meals, and gossiping. They were all perfectly fine. Still wary of imminent danger, James cast his eye towards the end of the room. Twilight and the princesses were chatting, completely oblivious of the peril they were in. Out of the corner of his eye, Bond noticed another waiter approaching them, a bottle of wine encased in his magical aura. He wasn’t one that Bond recognised from the old castle, but he’d bet his life that is was another of the conspirators.
Wasting no time, he set off at a brisk pace towards them, taking care not to move too quickly and arouse suspicion. A few ponies still gave him curious glances, but by now he was used to them. Besides, he had much more important things to worry about right now. He bounded up the stairs two at a time, finally reaching the princesses’ table a few moments after the waiter.
“There must be some mistake,” Princess Luna was saying. “Nopony ordered another bottle of wine.”
“No mistake, ma’am,” the waiter replied softly. “It is a gift, courtesy of management.”
Luna and Celestia looked at each other for a second, before addressing the waiter again, smiling warmly. “We appreciate the gesture,” the night princess continued. “But we simply must decline. My sister and I have had enough for one night, we think.”
The waiter adamantly stepped closer as James approached. “We really must insist-” He was cut short as Bond grabbed the wine from his magical grasp. The waiter turned to face him and gasped, taking a step back. Similarly, the few nobles seated at the table looked at him curiously, surprised by his sudden entrance.
“You heard the princess,” he said, putting on a fake smile. “They’ve had enough for one night. In fact, I think they were just about to leave now.”
“Leave?” Twilight looked across to him, confused. “James, is something wrong?”
“Of course not,” he told her. “Everything is just fine.” He turned back to the waiter in front of him. “Isn’t that right? Now come on, it’s been a wonderful night, but I think it’s time to go.”
Celestia and Luna looked at each other, then back to Bond, concerned, as the waiter took a step back. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can allow you to do that,” he warned, his horn flaring up with magic.
“Yes, that’s what I thought.” In an instant, Bond brought the bottle of wine down onto the table, smashing it, before shoving it into the stallion’s neck. Taken by surprise by the sudden attack, he could do nothing, except futilely gasp and gargle for air as he fell to the ground in a pool of his own blood.
“James!” Twilight screamed, looking away as the stallion’s life drained away swiftly. “What are you doing?”
“We need to go, now!” he barked, before flinching as the broken bottle in his hand shattered into a thousand pieces. Instinctively ducking, he looked back to see another unicorn across the room. Another one of Brute Force’s lackeys, no doubt. More soon appeared through multiple entrances in the room. A mixture of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, each with murderous intent in their eyes.
“Get down!” James shouted as more blasts of magic flew towards them. The noble ponies didn’t need to be told twice, ducking and cowering beneath the table as 007 drew his gun and fired blindly towards their attackers. The two princesses, on the other hand, had other plans. They both leaped forward as Twilight took cover next to Bond, firing spells towards the goons in return. Poking his head out, James saw a stallion caught inside Luna’s magical grasp crash into a wall. However, he ducked down again as something sharp flew over his forehead.
James turned around to see what had just flown passed him and saw a large steel bolt embedded in the wall. Crossbows? he thought. Well, I guess they had to level the playing field somehow.
His attention was brought back to the issue at hand as several more flew past, startling the noble ponies hidden under the table. Taking a deep breath, he popped out from behind his cover and squeezed off a few shots. A pegasus flying above cried out in pain as a bullet tore through one of his wings, but it was cut short as another was driven into his forehead. He dropped like a stone, crashing into a table nearby.
"Get off me!" James turned his attention to Twilight's scream. She had tried to move forwards, and now a burly earth pony had pounced onto her. Her horn lit up, and the stallion was flung backwards into a wall. Not willing to take chances, Bond fired two shots into his chest before he could move.
Overwhelmed by the amount of spells and crossbow bolts thrown towards them, the two princesses ducked behind cover next to James, catching their breath. "How many are out there?" he asked them as he loaded a fresh magazine into his Walther.
"At least ten more," Luna informed him. "We never expected them to be this bold. I fear that the rest of our security is already dead." The very thought visibly angered her, and she stood up once more, firing a deadly blast of magic towards the unicorn at the far side of the room who had fired the first shot. The spell stuck him in the chest, sending him back into the wall. He slumped onto the floor, stone dead.
The remaining attackers, of which there were now decidedly few, recoiled and stepped back slightly as they saw the unicorn fall. They were now without covering fire, something Bond was quick and eager to capitalise on. He stood up and ran towards them, firing off a few shots, one of which caught an earth pony in the shoulder, collapsing him to the ground. Ducking away from the crossbow bolts that were now flying towards him, James kicked a table onto its side, and crouched behind it.
He took a deep breath, and stood up quickly. In the blink of an eye, he counted five ponies left. Two in front, one on the right, and two above. Luckily, they were all, for the most part, exposed, not bothering to stay behind cover. He took aim at the first pegasus above him and fired, before turning his gun on the second and firing again. Both shots hit their targets dead-on, bringing them crashing to the ground in a pool of blood. As their friends gaped at him, James quickly brought his aim to bear on the two in front of him, dropping them before they had a decent chance to react.
With only one earth pony left to go, James turned to aim at him. He fired off a shot, but, in his haste, the bullet went wide. The stallion flinched, and quickly ducked behind the bar he was standing beside before Bond could fire again. Keeping his sights trained on the bar, 007 advanced towards him, before crouching beside another overturned table.
“You’ve got nowhere left to go!” Bond called out to the stallion, still aiming towards him. “Might as well give it up before you make things worse on yourself.”
There was no response. After a few brief moments, Bond tried again.
“What was the point of this little stunt anyway?” he asked. “Trying to kill the princesses? Here, in a busy public place. What were you thinking?”
There was still nothing for a few seconds. Then, the stallion called back out to him. “Shit, I never asked for any of this!" He sounded young, and certainly didn’t sound like some sort of hardened mercenary. “I was just doing this for the bits anyway! I never thought anything like this would happen!” He stood up slowly from behind the bar. Bond’s grip on his gun tightened, but the stallion didn’t try anything. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He looked over towards Princess Celestia briefly, before hanging his head. “I’ll tell you whatever you want, I promise.”
Celestia stepped towards him, her demeanor not unlike that of a stern mother disappointed with her child. “Come, my little pony.” She spoke softly, but there was little kindness in her words. “We will keep you safe, but don’t even think of trying anything.” Her horn lit up with magic to emphasize her point. The young stallion gulped, and nodded quickly.
The double doors to the restaurant burst open, snapping them out of any false peace that they had lulled themselves into. Beyond the doors, Bond could see and hear the casino’s patrons screaming and galloping for the doors, but his attention was firmly fixed on the large stallion in front of him. There was a sharp, serrated knife clutched in his teeth, which he held to the throat of Prince Blueblood. For a second, James was tempted to just shoot through the hostage to kill the last of the attackers, but he imagined that neither of the princesses would be too pleased with that.
“Drop it!” the stallion shouted, his speech somewhat muffled through the blade in his mouth. “Any of yous tries anything, and the good prince ‘ere kicks the bucket!”
“Argh!” Blueblood cried out, seemingly more in disgust than pain or fear. “Get your filthy hooves off me!”
I'm getting tired of this crap. Not even bothering to attempt negotiations, Bond fired. The bullet hit the stallion clean in the head, splattering blood and brains all over his hostage before slumping to the ground. There was silence for a brief moment, before the prince let out a high-pitched shriek as he realised that he was covered in the pony that had just been holding him. He turned around and promptly vomited onto the floor.
"Hurry up and get over it," James snapped at him harshly as he checked the next room to make sure it was clear. "We might not have much time." Nopony else was in sight. They were alone inside the casino. He only hoped that there were no more ponies trying to kill them lying in wait.
"James." Twilight trotted towards him, her voice still shaky after the sudden attack. "What in the wide world of Equestria happened back there? Were they the same ponies from Ponyville?"
"Yeah, they were." He turned around and waved at the princesses, motioning for them to come forwards. They nodded and did so, keeping a wary eye on the small-built stallion alongside them. "Still, I don't think this was a one-off occasion. I reckon they'll keep trying, but then again, that's for our dear friend to tell us about, right?"
The stallion looked away, shrinking behind Princess Celestia.
Satisfied that there was no longer a threat, James swiftly made his way towards the front entrance. From what he could see and hear, there was quite a crowd lingering outside, no doubt wondering what was going on. Even if there were any of Brute Force's lackeys left in the building, the only likely way they would have left would have been in chains or a box.
James looked back to make sure everypony was behind him, before pushing the door open and stepping outside. Sure enough, there was a large, curious crowd of ponies, who were being held back by the perimeter the guards had set up around the building. Noticing him, the guards tensed and began to assume battle stances, but relaxed as they saw the princesses exit the building behind Bond.
"Your majesties!" The captain of the guard approached them quickly. He took a glance at Prince Blueblood, and visibly gagged when he noticed the state he was in. "What went on in there?"
"Cultists, conspiracists, nopony can know for sure," Princess Luna explained. "The only thing we do know is that they were bent on murdering my sister and I."
"And just who is this?" The captain motioned towards the small stallion, still trying to hide behind Celestia.
"One of them," Bond answered. "Though only in it for the money, apparently."
"Is that so?" The captain cast a disdainful glance towards the scrawny stallion. "Well, a stallion whose only loyalty lies in a sack of bits is no stallion at all in my eyes." He turned to the princesses. "What would you like me to do with him?"
Celestia's eye drifted towards the stallion beneath her. She thought for a second, before turning back to the guard. "Take him to the castle dungeon," she told him. The colt shrunk and whimpered slightly. For a brief moment, Bond swore he could see a flash of pity in her eyes. "Be gentle with him, though," he heard her mention. "He's only a colt."
The guard looked towards the prisoner once more for a second, before nodding. "By your command." Celestia stepped aside as the stallion tentatively walked forward. "Come along, son," the guard said, in a slightly softer tone, as he walked past.
James watched as he was loaded into the back of a cart and quickly hauled away, before turning back to the ponies beside him. Prince Blueblood looked on the verge of tears, and was panting heavily. Noticing this, Celestia looked towards Bond and gave a small smirk, before calling another guard over. "Please escort my nephew back to the castle," she said. "I think he needs a bath and some rest."
"Yes, your highness." The guard saluted and moved over to the prince, gesturing for him to follow. They too trotted away.
"I think he might need a few months of therapy as well," James commented, turning back to Twilight and the princesses.
Luna rolled her eyes and chuckled softly. "Quite. I doubt that he'll be getting much sleep tonight."
"I don't think I will be either," Twilight spoke up, shuddering. "Those were the same ponies that brought you to Equestria, James?" she looked up at him, and he nodded. "My goodness, I didn't think they were this bad. How desperate must they be?"
"You've met their leader, Mr. Bond, I take it?" Celestia asked, scanning the crowd outside of the guard's defences.
"Brute Force, yes."
"We know his plan is to kill my sister and I, or at least overthrow us, but did he ever mention a motive?" she asked him.
James thought for a second, before remembering. "I think so. He mentioned a city: Las Pegasus, and how he would make it 'a shining beacon in the San Palamino Desert', or something."
"He sounds delusional, if you ask me," Twilight said, as they began to walk away from the casino and towards a waiting carriage. "What, he wants to turn Las Pegasus into Equestria's capital city?"
"It would seem so." Celestia stopped and let the rest of them enter the carriage first. "We should be wary, though. Delusional he may be, but he has a number of ponies willing to fight and die for him. We shouldn't underestimate this threat."
"He also mentioned something about 'reclaiming what was rightfully his'," James told her, beckoning for her to enter the carriage. "Do you know what he meant by that?"
"My sister and I have lived for so very long," she explained. "You can't go through life for over a thousand years without making some mistakes along the way. Without alienating some ponies. Without..." she paused for a moment and sighed. "Without losing some friends. This stallion could have any sort of personal grudge against us. There is no way of knowing why, at least not yet."
Bond nodded and she climbed inside. "Alright." He turned his head to check the crowd one last time, before clambering inside too. A guard closed the door immediately, and the carriage began to move. "Then what's our next move?"
"We return to the castle and formulate a plan of attack," Luna informed him. "We cannot just sit on our flanks and wait for them to come to us. More of our little ponies are sure to be injured or killed if we do so."
"My sister is right," Celestia agreed. "We'll get some rest, and figure out a plan tomorrow." She turned to Twilight, who listened in on the conversation intently. "But Twilight, I must insist that you get on the first train back to Ponyville tomorrow morning."
The unicorn looked doubtful. "Princess, are you sure? I mean, I might be able to help!"
The sun goddess wrapped a large wing around her student. "I have no doubt in your abilities, Twilight," she reassured. "Rather, I doubt mine. Specifically, my ability to keep you safe. I'm not sure if the castle is secure anymore."
Twilight looked up at her. Bond could tell by the look in her eye that she wanted to protest, but she didn't. "I understand, princess," she said softly.
Celestia smiled. "Thank you. Be with your friends, Twilight. I know you can keep each other safe."
James looked away from the scene in front of him and looked out of the window of the carriage as it slowly made its way through the dark Canterlot streets. They were approaching the castle. Celestia had said that he needed to rest, to make sure he was at his best, but right now his mind was moving faster than ever.
"When you can't tell your friends from your enemies, it's time to go."
***
It was obviously rush hour at the Canterlot train station, however the bulging crowds proved to be of no concern at all to James and Twilight, as most of the ponies around them were giving the human a wide berth. Most of the city’s citizens refused to go near or even look at 007, either out of disgust or fear. Either way, it didn’t really matter to him.
“Are you absolutely sure that this is the best idea, James?” Twilight asked as the made their way onto the platform. Her ears folded back against her head and she looked up at him pleadingly. “I mean, I can stay here and help you. Research, anything, you name it!”
Bond turned to look down at her. “You heard what Celestia said. She thinks it’s too dangerous for you here. Besides, can’t you do some research back at your library and get Spike to send anything of importance to her?”
The mare stopped and paused for a second, perking up again. “You know, in all this confusion and chaos, I never even thought of that.” She giggled slightly and rolled her eyes. “Seems typical of me, really. Missing the obvious solution.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Okay then. You’re right, it’s probably for the best.” Nodding, she trotted slowly onto the train as it’s doors began to close. “I’ll keep in touch!” she called, waving at him from a window.
Bond smiled slightly and waved back at her. “I look forward to it.” He continued to watch as the train slowly moved out from the station, before it disappeared out of sight around a corner. Deciding to get down to business, he turned around to walk out of the station. He checked his watch. Eleven thirty. Time to spare, then.
He stopped for a moment at a small kiosk inside the station to buy a cup of coffee. The events of the night before had been physically and mentally draining, and he hadn't gotten much sleep, so caffeine was exactly what he needed right now. The stallion behind the counter gave a sheepish smile as he handed James his drink, before getting back to his job. He thanked him, and went to walk out of the station.
Yawning, he stepped out onto the busy Canterlot street and took a sip of the scalding hot drink. It burnt his tongue, but he didn't notice. In the crowd of ponies surrounding him, he had spotted a familiar unicorn mare. A mare with a short white mane and a soft purple coat.
"Quill?" Bond said to himself, unsure whether it was her or not. Deciding to investigate, he decided to move towards her, struggling to keep her in sight due to the mass of ponies around him. She seemed to notice him and, strangely, started to turn and walk away.
Where is she going? Picking up the pace, James followed her into an alley that she had ducked into. "Quill!" he called out, as she continued to walk away from him. "Lavender Quill?"
The mare finally paused and turned around slowly. She looked up at him, and smiled. "Oh, hello Mr. Bond! I didn't see you there,” she said to him sheepishly.
"Good to see you," he said politely. "How is everything?"
"Oh, you know, I'm okay.” She coughed slightly and fiddled with her mane. “Quite a bit shaken up, but okay."
"Good to hear," he replied, giving her a smile. "And how's everything at the University going? All the research on telekinetic spells going alright?"
She nodded quickly and smiled back. "Oh, yes. They're going perfectly well. It’s very hard work though, of course. And after what happened I haven’t been able to concentrate as well as before!” She leaned to the right, and looked past him for a moment, before glancing back upwards. “But, if you'll excuse me, uh, James, was it? I'm late, and I really must be going." Without so much as a goodbye, she turned around and cantered quickly away. James stood there, suddenly very suspicious.
She told me she worked on teleportation before, not telekinesis, he thought, making his way back to the street. Add to that the fact that she was loitering around here for no good reason, and it's starting to look like my good friend Lavender Quill isn't quite who she says she is. Grimacing, he downed the rest of his cup of coffee and threw it away.
The crowd around the station had mostly dispersed now that the train had departed, for which he was thankful for. Now he could make his way back up to the castle without much hindrance. It wasn’t exactly far, but it was uphill, so the lack of ponies in his way was a small blessing. I need to speak to Celestia, he thought, setting off at a brisk pace down the main street. Before I get down to business, I need to get a look at the Canterlot University archives.
Bond soon arrived at the castle gates. The guards, while no longer outright hostile, still gave him wary glares, and visibly tensed as he approached. He nodded towards them as he walked past, and they nodded sternly in return, not averting their unwavering forward gaze. Jogging briskly up the marble stairs that went up to the front door, he pondered whether Quill being there was just a coincidence, whether she was some pawn in the plans of these crazy ponies, or whether she was something else entirely. Something more sinister, perhaps. In any case, he needed to find out.
Arriving at the main entrance hall, he crossed it quickly, reaching the large double doors on the opposite side. The doors were flanked by two armed guards, who stood to attention as she approached.
“I need to speak with Princess Celestia,” James informed them. They nodded silently, and allowed him to pass. Stepping past them, he knocked on the door sharply.
“Come in,” came the voice of the sun goddess from inside. Motioning for Bond to step aside, once of the guards pushed open the large doors for him, before resuming his original position beside them.
“Ah, James!” Celestia said as he entered, looking up from the papers in front of her and setting down a cup of tea. James noted that she looked tired; her mane was slightly disheveled and unkempt, and he could make out slight bags underneath her eyes. “I trust that everything went well with Twilight at the train station?” she continued, giving him a warm smile.
“It went perfectly fine,” he reported, advancing towards her. “She’s safe and sound right now, on her way back to Ponyville. She’ll be back with her friends before dinnertime.”
“That’s wonderful to hear,” she replied, picking up her cup of tea with her magic and taking a sip. “I would have made sure of it myself, but, alas, royal duty calls, as always.” She set the cup down again and stared down at the mess of papers in front of her. “Requests from nobles, messages from foreign delegates, reports from soldiers stationed overseas." She picked up one lazily and glanced at it. "'Soldiers in Oatstralia are stretched few and far between.' Oh, royalty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, James, I can assure you.” She sighed and released the paper from her magical grip, letting them fall onto the table.
"Oatstralia?"
She nodded. "A colony far south of Equestria that we established not long ago. It's rather warm down there, so I'm told."
Dear God, you must be joking. James sighed and continued. “Well, at least you’re the kind of royal that actually does something for your people. I never was one for paperwork either,” he commented. “Where’s Luna?”
“Out like a light upstairs,” the princess told him, chuckling. “She stays up most of the night, that sister of mine, which doesn’t come as any surprise. She only needs a few hours of sleep before she’s up and moving again, though.” She giggled slightly before looking back to him. “Now, is there something you needed, or is this purely a social visit?”
“I need a favour,” he told her simply, pulling up a nearby chair and sitting down. “I need to look at the archives of the University of Canterlot. Specifically, a complete list of who works there.”
The princess studied him for a moment, trying her best to deduce his reasoning. “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. All you’d need is a written letter of permission from myself or my sister. Why, though?”
“Call it a hunch,” Bond said, keeping a blank, unreadable expression.
She looked up at him, before shrugging slightly. “Well, I don’t see why not. It’s not like they have anything to hide.” Her horn lit up, dragging a blank piece of parchment and a quill towards her. She dipped the quill in a jar of ink and quickly scribbled something onto it, before wrapping it up and sealing it. “Here you go, this should do,” she said to him, as the scroll floated towards him. “By the way, I decided to look into that Brute Force stallion you mentioned. Turns out, he runs one of the more, well, sleazier casinos in Las Pegasus. He’s a very rich stallion, so I have no doubt that he has no shortage of ponies on his payroll. I believe the place was called ‘The Gates of Tartarus.’ Rather apt, if you ask me.”
He thanked her and plucked the scroll from her magical grasp. Nodding, he turned and walked back towards the door. Right, he thought as he left the castle. Time to get to the bottom of all this.
The streets were as busy as ever as he stepped outside again. Ponies were trotting to and fro, whether they were hungry and looking for something to eat, or curious tourists gawking at the castle and other interesting sights. Bond knew, from a map of the city he had studied before traveling to the casino, that they university was only a few blocks away from the castle. While it was no Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, it was still nonetheless prestigious, as James could tell from the grand, gilded architecture of the building.
The interior was no less lavish. The entrance hall was pristine, and beautifully decorated. James found himself admiring the architecture as he crossed the room to the receptionist’s desk. The stallion behind the desk looked up from his newspaper as Bond approached, and gave him an apprehensive look. Unphased, James pulled out the letter from his coat pocket and handed it to him.
“Good morning,” 007 said, in a friendly enough tone. “I need to look at your archives. Specifically, I need a list of all employees and staff currently working here.”
The receptionist stallion raised an eyebrow. “Very well. I assume you have written permission?”
James nodded and tapped the sealed letter on the desk. “Yes, it’s right here.”
“Okay, let me see.” Putting on a pair of spectacles, the stallion broke the seal on the letter and unfolded it, studying it closely. “Well, everything appears to be in order. Your permission is valid, and from Princess Celestia, no less!” He removed his spectacles and looked up at Bond. “Yes, I remember you now. You’re that new creature that’s been involved with the princesses. Oh my, there have been plenty of rumours flying around about you.”
“Well, rumours are just rumours, aren’t they?”
The receptionist nodded and got to his hooves. “Indeed they are. Very well, give me a moment. The employee records are around here somewhere.” He turned around and put his back to James, searching through a filing cabinet behind the desk. He shuffled through the papers, muttering to himself in the process, before finally emerging with the proper documents held in his mouth.
“Here you go,” he said politely, dropping the file on the table. “If you’re going to be reviewing this, I suggest you take a seat over there.” He pointed to a set of comfortable looking chairs and a table to the side of the room. Judging from the size of the files, James decided that he might need them.
"Thank you." James smiled at the receptionist before making his way over to the chairs and sitting down, spreading the files across the table. The chairs, obviously built for the size and stature of a pony, were a lot smaller than he was used to, but not uncomfortably so. He sat there in silence for a few minutes, going through the records over and over.
"Quill... Lavender Quill," he muttered to himself, triple-checking the files to make sure. Not finding the name, his suspicions were confirmed. She doesn't work here, and she never has. Damn it, I've been played.
Scowling and cursing to himself, he scooped up the employee records and unceremoniously dumped them on the front desk before storming out of the university. Wait, if she was at the train station this morning, was she just keeping an eye on me, or was there another reason? He vaguely remembered that the next train after the Ponyville one was headed for Las Pegasus. That's way too convenient to be a coincidence.
Passing the front gates of the castle once more, he paused and turned to one of the guards standing beside them. "You," he said, advancing towards him. "I need a favour."
The guard looked up at him and nodded. "Very well, what is it, sir?"
There were two trains departing to Las Pegasus today. "Tell Princess Celestia that I'm heading to Las Pegasus. Wouldn't want her to worry about where I've wondered off to now, do we?"
The guard nodded sternly again. "Yes, sir." With that, he turned around and began to canter up the steps to the castle.
James watched him go for a moment, before setting off towards the train station once more. The sun now stood high in the sky, signalling him that it was around midday. Sure enough, he checked his watch to find that the time was a quarter past twelve. If he remembered correctly, the next train to Las Pegasus was scheduled to leave at twelve thirty.
Thankfully, the station was much quieter than it was earlier. A few ponies still lingered about, but Bond found that he could now move around with ease, without a huge group of wary ponies blocking his path. From what he could see, the citizens of Canterlot had finally gotten somewhat used to having him around. Most of the snobby looking ones still turned their noses up at him as he walked by, but, for the most part, they acted indifferent, apart from a few friendlier ones that smiled at him as he passed.
The train was already waiting by the platform, waiting for it’s proper departure time. A conductor stood by the front of the train, announcing it’s destination and that it was able to be boarded, so James bought a ticket and hopped into one of the carriages and found a seat near a window. After not getting much sleep the night before, he was all too ready to get some well earned rest before diving into the hornet’s nest.
Not too soon after, the train’s whistle blew and it started to edge out of the station. Within a few moments, the glamorous cityscape had passed by his window and been replaced with rolling countryside. Stretching and yawning, Bond settled down, and slowly nodded off to sleep.
***
Sighing and taking a deep breath of fresh air, Twilight Sparkle stood up and trotted off the train, now that it had arrived at Ponyville station. It felt good to be back home after the chaos of the last few days, and she couldn’t wait to get back to the library to see Spike and start looking for any kind of information that might help James on his quest.
Basking in the mid-afternoon sun, Twilight smiled and set off at a canter through Ponyville. It seemed to be a slow day for the market, as the town was a lot less busy than it usually was. She didn’t mind, however. Less ponies meant an easier and quicker route home.
“Excuse me!” the sound of a young stallion’s voice caught her attention. “Excuse me, ma’am!” Turning around, she saw a earth stallion galloping towards her. “You’re Twilight Sparkle, right? Please, I need your help. I lost my friend in the Everfree Forest and I’m afraid he’s in trouble. I ain’t a strong pony, and you’re one of the best magic users I’ve ever seen.” He looked at her with a pleading look in his eyes. “Please, will you help me find him?”
The unicorn gasped in shock. “Oh, well of course I can! Quick, show me where you last saw him.”
The stallion nodded quickly. “Oh, thank you ma’am! Follow me, I’ll take you to the part of the forest where I lost him!” He turned and started to gallop away. Concerned for the stallion’s friend, Twilight began to run after him.
She followed him out of Ponyville and up to the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. “Hurry, it was this way!” he called back over his shoulder. He disappeared into the forest for a brief second, before Twilight entered as well and caught up with him. Suddenly, he stopped in the middle of a clearing.
“Is this where he went missing?” Twilight asked, stepping towards him.
“You could say that,” he replied, in an unusually dark tone. Before Twilight could respond, she found herself paralysed. Huh? What’s going on? Is this some sort of paralysis spell? She tried her hardest to move, but only her eyes would respond. Completely helpless, she could do nothing as the offending unicorn stepped into view.
“Hello, Miss Sparkle,” he said to her, smirking. His horn started to glow brighter, and Twilight found herself feeling drowsy. “I think it’s time you came with us. After all, you’ve got a date in Las Pegasus.”
"I think you're so blinded by inconsolable rage that you don't care who you hurt."
***
The bright, shining lights of Las Pegasus were unsurprisingly familiar to the ones Bond had seen in Las Vegas, back on Earth. Seriously, is everything here some sort of pun or pop culture reference? he thought, stepping off the train and onto the platform now that it had arrived in the bustling, colourful city in the middle of the San Palomino desert. This entire place makes no sense, even without the talking ponies and magical princesses.
The city was definitely a far cry from the likes of Canterlot and Ponyville. It definitely didn’t share the pseudo-medieval style and architecture, for a start. The sun was setting and the night was beginning, so a multitude of ponies, locals and tourists alike, were setting out for a long night of fun, to try their luck on the tables and probably get drunk in the process. These definitely the snobby kind of ponies Bond had become accustomed to, or the cheerful and happy, if somewhat suspicious, inhabitants of Ponyville. As happy and idyllic as Equestria seemed, it was obvious here that it had it’s fair share of vices too.
The Gates of Tartarus, Celestia called it, Bond mused, stepping out of the station and onto the street. Brute Force has made his casino sound very inviting, that’s for sure. He knew the type. Sleazy places, filled with strippers, cheap liquor, and games that were rigged to rob you of every cent. Or bit, in this case. James also realised that Brute Force was going to be expecting him, and, if not, he would at least have told his guards to keep a lookout. If he managed to make it inside the casino peacefully and quietly, Bond knew that it most certainly wouldn't last. Whether they tried to kill him on sight or had something else planned entirely, James knew that he had to go in prepared for anything.
The Las Pegasus strip was certainly a sight to behold. Flashing neon lights assaulted the senses, and James found himself swamped by ponies gawking at the sights. Carriages carrying groups of ponies rolled down the street past him, its inhabitants chatting or gaping up at the bright lights of Equestria’s sin city, enthralled by the immense variety of sights and sounds. 007 found himself staring at some of the attractions himself as he started to make his way down the street.
“Celestia’s Palace,” he murmured to himself, noting one casino in particular off to his right, seemingly designed to replicate the princess’ castle in Canterlot. It seemed to hold itself in a higher regard than most of the other casinos he could see, as most of the ponies entering and leaving held themselves more formally and wore smarter attire, as opposed to the more casual outfits James had noticed. “Now I wonder why that sounds familiar.” He chuckled and shook his head. I wonder how Twilight’s doing, he thought, pressing onward. She’s probably searching through every single book in that damn library, I bet.
As he made his way further down the Strip, he began to make out what could only be The Gates of Tartarus. The casino sported some sort of gothic architecture, featuring statues of many hideous looking creatures, including a prominent one sporting the likeness of Cerberus, the three-headed hellhound. God, I wouldn’t be surprised if that thing is actually real here. The place looked as sleazy as it sounded; many drunken ponies surrounded its entrance, rambling loudly or vomiting across the pavement. A billboard even advertised “the best dancers this side of Manehattan.” Bond briefly wondered how ponies could even perform erotic dances, before banishing the thought from his mind.
The wasted ponies gave him looks as he approached. One drunken stallion decided to stumble towards him, a bottle of liquor still in hoof. He laughed loudly and held the bottle towards him, but James simply shoved him out of the way and kept on walking, throwing open the door to the casino and stepping inside.
The inside of the casino was dimly lit, with only a few flickering lanterns providing light. Blaring jazz music and assorted screaming and hollering drowned out almost all other noise. Passing through the foyer, and eyed by a few suspicious looking guards, Bond entered the main casino floor. The room was dominated by a stage on the far side, upon which a group of burlesque style dancers were performing a routine. Poker, roulette and blackjack tables lined the floor, alongside a number of slot machines and a bar off to the side. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the guards whisper something into the ear of one of his friends. Well, they know I’m here. Let’s see where this goes.
Deciding to just blend in for the mean time, he made his way over to the cashier’s desk, pulling a bag of bits from his pocket. A small sign beside the desk proclaimed the exchange rate: one bit equals five chips. The pony behind the counter, a bored looking pegasus mare, raised an eyebrow as he approached, but otherwise didn’t object when he dropped the bag in front of her.
“How many chips would you like, sir?” the mare asked in a dreary tone, obviously having had to repeat the same question as part of her job for quite a long time.
“Not many,” Bond answered simply. “I don’t expect to be playing for very long. Give me five hundred.”
“Very well sir,” she replied in the same bored tone. James noticed her eyes drift to the side to glance at one of the security guards as she counted out his coins, before she looked up back at him again, holding his chips up. “Have fun, and remember to gamble responsibly.”
Like they actually mean that, James thought, walking away with chips in hand. As he made his way towards some of the roulette tables near the stage, he noticed the guard from earlier walking through a door marked “employees only.” No doubt on his way to inform his boss of my arrival. James knew Brute Force wouldn’t want to kill him. He probably thought he could still convince the agent to work with him, involuntarily if need be. He didn’t seem like the smartest pony, that’s for sure. Still, James needed to keep his guard up, just in case.
The musical number was still going in full swing as he arrived at the table. A few ponies gambling looked up at him cautiously, but shrugged and continued with their games. The croupier gave him a sleazy looking smile as he placed his chips on the table.
“Evening sir,” the croupier said in a gruff voice. “You don’t look like you’re from around here. Well, you’re in luck. You’ve stumbled across what is indisputably the best casino in Las Pegasus! Ready to place your bets?”
James’ eyes scanned the room, keeping an eye out for any approaching security guards or any kind of threat, before looking back at the stallion in front of him. “Well, if I’m quite honest, I don’t think I’m going to have the best of luck tonight.” He pushed half of his chips forward. “Put them on first dozen.”
“Very well, sir.” The stallion nodded and took the bets from the other players, before reaching forward and spinning the roulette wheel. He bent down and picked up a small ball in his teeth, before dropping into onto the outside of the wheel, and watched it spin. It kept spinning for a few moments, eyed tentatively by everyone surrounding the table, before it began to lose its momentum, edging closer towards the pockets in the centre of the wheel. Finally, it landed inside the pocket marked seven.
“Congratulations,” the croupier said to Bond, pushing his winnings towards him. “Will you be playing again?”
Bond took a quick glance behind him, and saw three security guards approaching him. “No, I don’t think I will be. Shame, really, isn’t it?” He sighed and turned around to face the stallions walking towards him. “Good evening, gentlemen. Or, gentlecolts, as it were.”
“Sir, you need to come with us,” a unicorn told him, in a surprisingly refined accent.
“And we’d much prefer if there wasn’t any fuss about it, either,” another added, his voice carrying a decidedly rougher tone as he glared up at 007.
James eyed them for a moment, before shrugging. “Very well. Take me to your leader, gents.”
The rougher one scoffed, before turning around and leading him towards an employees-only door. Glancing behind him, he saw that the unicorn’s horn was aglow. Guess they aren’t playing around this time. A few patrons gave them curious stares, but soon went back to their games. The guard in front pushed open the door, and glared back at James as he walked through into the corridor beyond.
The corridor was decorated similarly to the rest of the casino. The two guards forced him to keep moving, twisting and turning through the maze of hallways before ending up at a pair of double doors, no doubt leading to Brute Force’s office.
“Time for your meeting with the boss,” one of the guards grunted, before shoving him through the door, and following close behind. The office inside was lavishly decorated, with a large wooden desk on the far side behind which the earth pony that had been causing all of Bond’s troubles sat.
“You’ve been proving yourself to be more trouble than you’re worth,” Brute Force told him, sipping a glass of liquor. “You’ve killed dozens of my best stallions, blew my plan at the casino in Canterlot, but now you’ve brought yourself here, right into the hornet’s nest.”
“I aim to please,” James replied, stepping forward. The two guards behind him stiffened, but didn’t react.
“You’re armed as well, no doubt,” Brute commented. As if on cue, the unicorn behind James cast a spell, and he felt his handgun float from his holster. It floated in front of him for a second, before moving towards the desk and landing in front of the earth pony.
“How astute,” James said dryly. “Any other observations?”
“A few,” the stallion answered. “I know that, for all the trouble you’ve caused us, the setbacks are relatively minor. I know you’ve handed yourself over on a silver platter to me.” He smirked, and took another sip from his glass. “Oh, and another thing. I happen to know that your curious little unicorn friend happens to be staying at this very casino, on an all expense paid trip, courtesy of yours truly.”
“Let her go,” Bond demanded, clenching his fists and taking another step forward. “She’s not involved with any of this.”
Brute Force stood up and stared 007 down. “That’s where you’re wrong. She became involved the very moment she stood up for you amidst that mob of ponies; the very moment she knocked on your hotel door!” He smirked again, before sitting down. “And make no mistake, I have no problems with killing her if you don’t do exactly what I say.”
“Why are you even doing this, anyway?” Bond asked. “What could you possibly stand to gain by murdering the princesses?”
“Everything!” he snapped. “If the princesses fall, then the ponies will rise, don’t you see? No gods, no masters!” The stallion stopped and sighed. “My father had the same idea, back when he was a noble in Canterlot. They cast him out at the mere notion!”
“With good reason! There would be anarchy. Rules and leaders exist for a reason.”
“Spare me the lecture,” Brute growled. He turned away from Bond, and there were a few seconds of silence.
“You know Twilight’s more capable than she looks,” Bond pointed out through gritted teeth.
The stallion chuckled. “Oh, please,” he scoffed. “How much trouble can one girl be?”
“You’d be surprised.”
Brute eyed him for a moment, before laughing again. “If that’s so, then I am very much looking forward to it.” He paused for a second, before looking up at James. “You’re not going to agree to work with me, are you?”
James shook his head. “No.”
“Even if it means the death of your friend?” 007 didn’t answer, and the stallion sighed. “What a shame. You know, I had really hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. I suppose that you’ve already figured out that we can force you to work for me either way, haven’t you?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “Shame, really. Nothing is ever quite as effective when you have to control it remotely.” The stallion turned to address the guards behind Bond. “Take him upstairs, then go and take care of our unicorn friend. I think she’s overstayed her welcome.”
Both of the guards nodded, and the unicorn’s horn lit up once again. The other pushed open the door and motioned for James to walk through. Seeing no other option, at least for the time being, 007 complied, exiting the room through the double doors.
Forcing him onwards, the guards led him to a staircase, and gestured for him to go up. All the while, James looked around for any means that could help him escape. As he made his way up the staircase, the earth pony guard trotted in front of him, before leading him into another hallway. Further down, James noticed a janitor’s trolley, full of cleaning supplies, left unattended. Perfect, he thought.
He took a quick glance behind him as they walked past the trolley, before lashing out with his leg, kicking it back into the unicorn behind him. Before the guard in front could turn around to react, Bond grabbed a mop that had fallen from the trolley and swung it across the stallion’s head, knocking him out completely. Winded, the unicorn tried to stand up, coughing, before suffering a similar fate at his hands.
Satisfied that his escort and been dealt with, Bond turned around and started to jog back towards where he came from, making sure to keep an eye out for any enemy patrols. No more games, Brute, he thought. I’m coming for you.
***
How in the world did I not see this coming?
Twilight sighed and frowned, staring at the locked door across the room from her. So, what, am I some sort of hostage now? Well, that’s just great. At least they had the decency to give me a hotel room instead of tying me up in some basement somewhere. The mare groaned and hopped off of the bed, trotting over to the window. The lights of Las Pegasus shone for miles, but there was no way she would be doing any sightseeing. No, the room she was in was magic-proofed, to an extent. Her attempt to simply teleport out had failed, unsurprisingly, and she couldn’t just unlock the door or open the window with her magic. However, she could manipulate things inside the room.
Out of ideas, Twilight turned around and levitated a glass of water towards her, taking a large gulp. “James is probably here already,” she thought aloud. “I mean, these are obviously the ponies that want something from him.” I can’t rely on him though, she thought, scanning the room for anything that could help. I need to get out of here, right now.
Her eyes fell upon the small bathroom, separated from the rest of the room, and an idea struck. Would that work? By Celestia, I hope so. Testing her theory, she ignited her magic, and spoke softly.
“Hello.”
The sound of the word did not escape her lips. Rather, her voice seemed to emanate from the other side of the room. Yes! she thought, trying her best not to jump up and down in excitement. “Okay, time to put this plan in motion.” Her horn lighting up once again, she climbed underneath the bed and hid.
“Hello? I know you can hear me. I need help!”
There was a few seconds of silence, and no response. Undeterred, she tried again. “Hello? I know there’s someone out there. Please, I need some help!”
Silence fell for a few moments once again, before the solitary guard outside her room spoke up. “Shut up in there!”
“Please, I need help with something in the bathroom!” Twilight tried once again. “You wouldn’t want your boss to find out that you neglected his guest of honour, would you?”
“Guest of honour? Ha! Kiss my flank!”
Twilight groaned. “Please? Pretty please?”
There was silence again, before a muffled groan came through. “Fine, if it’ll shut you up.”
Thank you! The unicorn peeked out from under the bed as the guard unlocked the door and entered the room. The moment he turned to enter the bathroom, she crept out from her hiding place.
“Alright, what’s the problem?” the guard said, very clearly annoyed. Twilight didn’t answer, instead kicking the bathroom door shut behind him and quickly floating the bed across the room to block it.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Twilight giggled slightly as the guard knocked angrily on the door. “You little bitch! Open this door!”
Oh, this is way funnier than it should be. “Nope, you didn’t say the magic word!” she taunted, giggling again.
“Gah, fuck you!” the stallion shouted angrily.
“My my, such language!” She put a hoof to her forehead in mock shock. “Just for that, you can stay in there, thank you very much!” With that, she turned around, and trotted out of the door, making sure to close it behind her. Nopony needs to hear him and his vulgarity. Taking a deep breath, she set off down the hallway.
It didn’t take her long before she figured out a way to the stairs, so she made haste. A helpful sign indicated that they were down a hallway to the right, so she followed the directions. However, after turning into the hallway, she yelped as she came face to face with another pony.
“Whoa!” the other pony, a mare, exclaimed. She took a quick look at Twilight, before a pleading look appeared on her face. “Oh, thank Celestia, you’re not one of the guards. Please, they kidnapped me too, you’ve got to help.”
“Really? What do they want with you?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t know,” the unicorn mare answered, glancing around. “I’m just a professor in Canterlot. I’m guessing they needed me for something.” She looked back at Twilight. “You’re Twilight Sparkle, right? Please help. I know the way out, but I don’t like my chances if I run into one of the guards. But you’re one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria!”
Twilight blushed. “Well, I don’t know about that. But if you know the way out, then we should go.”
The mare nodded. “Come on, it’s this way!” She turned and galloped towards the stairs, with Twilight following close behind. They reached the stairwell and bounded down, two at a time.
These guys obviously aren’t the smartest bunch, Twilight thought. There aren’t even any guards around! I’m surprised James hasn’t made short work of them already. She kept following the mare downstairs, before nearly tripping and falling as she came to an abrupt halt.
What the? Before Twilight could react, she felt the mare dart behind her and put her hoof around her neck. “Hey, what gives?” she complained as she felt the mare’s horn press into the base of her neck. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a burly earth stallion sprint down the corridor and around a corner, out of sight. Confused, she looked up to see the source of the mare’s worry.
“Let her go, Quill,” Bond demanded, in a calm tone, keeping his weapon trained on the both of them.
“Not happening!” Quill shouted back. “Make one move, and I’ll kill her!”
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, remaining calm.
“What can I say? Money talks. And dear old Brute can be very talkative.”
They remained silent for a few seconds. Bond, his weapon still trained on the two of them, spoke once again. “Last chance. Let her go.”
“What are you going to do? Shoot through her to kill me?” Quill taunted, poking her head out from behind her hostage slightly, but not enough to get a clear shot. “We both know you wouldn’t do that.” She tightened her grip, and Twilight gasped slightly. “The poor, innocent girl; the damsel in distress who never deserved to get caught up in this. Please. You’d miss her.”
Bond stared her down, adjusting his aim slightly. “I never miss,” he replied, and pulled the trigger twice.
Bond stood there for a brief moment, catching his breath, looking at the two unconscious ponies on the ground. He glanced at the janitor’s trolley that he had kicked, then at the mop that was still in his hand. Surprised that his plan had worked so well, and that these guards had been caught, well, off-guard so easily, he dropped the mop and started to make his way back towards Brute Force’s office. Then, noticing blood oozing out of a wound on the head of one the stallions, he paused and grabbed a wet floor sign from the trolley, placing it next to his downed foes with a smirk on his face. Who says I’m not allowed to have some fun every once in a while? he thought as he set off back downstairs.
In an instant he had lost all sense of comedy and regained his usual stoic, yet determined, demeanor. He moved purposefully, creeping back down the stairs, the way he had been taken, making sure to peek around corners to check if there were any guards about. Unsurprisingly, there weren’t. Well, it looks like Brute has a lot of misguided faith in his employees, Bond deduced, making his way down the corridor towards the double doors of the maniacal stallion’s office. This was it. There was no way he was going to let that bastard escape now. Time to end this.
James took a deep breath, and looked to the left and to the right to check that the hallway was clear, before stepping back and kicking with all of his might. His foot connected with the door and sent it flying open to reveal Brute Force, who nearly dropped Bond’s gun, which he had obviously been inspecting, out of pure shock. Capitalising on the stallion’s surprise, Bond charged in.
“No more games,” he announced, advancing towards the startled earth pony. “Last chance, Brute: give yourself up, now.”
“Not a chance,” Brute growled in reply. Unable to properly grip the gun, he threw it at Bond, who managed to catch it in his hand. Throwing my weapon back to me? God, this guy is stupider than he looks. It was then that he realised that the gun was merely a distraction, as Brute reared up and bucked his desk, sending it flying across the room at speed. With no time to move or dodge, Bond could only raise his arms and brace himself as it came crashing down on top of him, knocking him to the floor and allowing the stallion a means of escape.
James groaned, pushing the splintered desk off of him and trying to focus once again. Damn it. Okay, maybe not quite as stupid as he looks. He managed to make out Brute dashing out of the room, no doubt to call some of his guards or perhaps run to another hiding place somewhere else in Equestria. Shaking his head and cursing under his breath, Bond picked himself up, grabbed his gun, and gave pursuit.
Brute was fast, due to his large build, but that was a double-edged sword. Though he could power down each the hallway Bond pursued him through, he had to slow down significantly whenever he wanted to turn, lest his cumbersome body make him crash into a wall and end the chase prematurely. James ran, sprinting after his target, but found that the stallion always pulled away when he got close. Grunting with annoyance, Bond leapt forward, but missed and almost fell over as Brute swung around a corner into another hallway. Looking up again, Bond stopped to find two mares blocking his path. Recognising the first, he instantly drew his gun, but she darted behind the second, taking her as an equine shield. Twilight? Goddamnit, Quill!
“Let her go, Quill,” James ordered quietly, keeping his gun trained on the unicorn as she pressed her horn into the base of Twilight’s neck.
“Not happening!” she shouted back at him, doing her best to conceal herself. “Make one move, and I’ll kill her!”
I really don’t need any of this shit right now. “Why are you doing this?” he asked calmly, his aim unwavering as she stared him down.
“What can I say? Money talks.” Quill smirked a little. “And dear old Brute can be very talkative.”
Silence fell as Bond tried to deduce a way to end this confrontation. It continued for a few seconds as he thought. There was one course of action he could take, but it was incredibly risky. If Quill doesn’t back down, then it looks like I have no other choice, he thought grimly. I'm wasting enough time already. “Last chance: let her go,” he finally commanded, glaring at her.
“What are you going to do? Shoot through her to kill me?” the mare taunted, tightening her grip on Twilight. “We both know you wouldn’t do that. The poor, innocent girl; the damsel in distress who never deserved to get caught up in this. Please. You’d miss her.”
That’s it. “I never miss,” he stated simply, before firing.
The first shot missed purposefully, instead embedding itself in the wall behind the two mares. Caught off guard, Quill flinched, unknowingly sticking her head out from behind Twilight slightly. She went to shout something, however, she never got the chance, as Bond fired again, this time with his sights firmly aligned with her head. Her eyes briefly widened as she realised her mistake, before the bullet impacted just to the side of the base of her horn. Her head exploded in a shower of blood as she was sent sprawling down onto the floor, stone dead.
Twilight took a few seconds to process what had happened, before shrieking at the top of her lungs and scampering away from the pool of blood that was now forming around the unicorn’s body. “James!” she cried, desperately trying to wipe the mare’s blood out of her coat. “What... what just happened? What did you do?!”
Finally releasing a sigh that he didn’t know he had been holding, Bond kneeled down slightly, bringing himself to Twilight’s eye level. “It’s okay,” he reassured her, putting his hand on her gently as she shook from shock. “It’s over.”
“No, James, it’s not okay,” she protested weakly, making sure not to glance at the body behind her. “You killed her. Heck, you nearly killed me.” She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. “She was working with them, right?” she asked, and he nodded. “I guess she would have killed me anyway if you hadn’t done something.” Relieved to be out of immediate danger, she sighed and looked up at him. “For what it’s worth, thank you.”
He nodded simply, and used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe some stray spots of blood from her face. Then, he looked over at Quill’s lifeless body and grimaced. This wasn’t over yet. “Come on,” he announced to Twilight. “We can’t hang about. Brute Force is no doubt still running with his tail between his legs.”
“Any idea where?” she wondered, taking great care to trot around the pooling blood as they pressed on swiftly down the hallway. “We can’t let him get away, not after everything that has happened.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t intend to let that happen.” They continued to jog back down the corridor, heading towards the main casino floor. 007 took the time to check his weapon. Thankfully, Brute hadn’t messed around with it too much; everything seemed to be in order, aside from the lack of the bullets he had fired previously.
Soon enough, they both reached the door to the casino floor unhindered. Bond, looking down at his equine companion, whispered, “Go and check to see if he’s out there. I don’t want to risk him seeing me just yet.”
“I don’t even know what this “Brute Force” stallion looks like,” she pointed out, opening the door slightly and peeking out.
“He’s a big, red earth pony,” James described, doing his best to peek out as well. “Bigger than the royal guards, at least. Mane’s styled kind of like a crew cut.” He stepped backwards from the door and looked down at her. “Look, he lives up to his name, alright?”
“Okay, okay.” Twilight gave him a quick glance, before peeking out of the door again.
“If you see him, just start making your way towards him,” James instructed. “I’ll be watching.”
The mare nodded. “Got it.” Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and trotted out. “Here goes nothing,” Bond heard her say as she tried her best to look as inconspicuous as possible.
He kept an eye on her, peeking out of the crack between the door and the doorframe as she made her way around the room, looking for the earth stallion. “Come on... where are you, you bastard?” Out of the corner of his eye, James noticed two security guards whisper something to each other, before making their way across the room towards the oblivious unicorn. Shit. Well, so much for subtlety. Seeing no other course of action, he pushed the door open and strode into the room, knowing full well that doing so would make him as obvious as if he had run in guns blazing anyway. Don’t want to create a panic with so many civilians around, he thought. Doing so could bring me a major advantage, seeing as a crowd could stop any more guards from getting in between me and her. It’s a double-edged sword, though.
In an instant, he saw most of the guards stationed around the room take notice of him, but, thankfully, not the ones who were already making a beeline for Twilight. All of them were too far away to hinder him as he continued his stride towards the two stallions, even as they began to hastily make their way towards him. Damn, this is about to turn ugly. Just then, he noticed Brute talking with the cashier, with an angry expression upon his face. Time’s up, James thought, as he reached the two stallions just before they reached Twilight.
Feeling pragmatic, he charged forward quickly and lashed out with his foot, kicking one of the guards square in the jaw. He cried out in shock and stumbled, falling flat on his face. Bond delivered a follow up kick that gave an audible crack as it connected with the stallion’s chin, before he smacked the other across the face with the butt of his gun. The guard spun, dazed and confused, allowing 007 to grab him and put the gun to his head. Gamblers and other ponies surrounding them yelled in shock, and the whole room fell silent.
“Brute Force!” James shouted, his voice echoing across the whole room. “I’ll say it one last time! Give yourself up. By jurisdiction of Celestia’s royal guard, you’re under arrest!”
Twilight gasped and wheeled around. “James!” she hissed as the guard he was holding struggled for breath. “What do you think you are doing?”
“Yeah, sorry about this,” he apologised.
Bond noticed the earth stallion glare at him. “You just don’t give up, do you, Bond?” he screamed, back pedalling towards a nearby door. “Take care of him!” he ordered his guards, kicking open the door. “I want that son of a bitch dead!” The door slammed shut behind him, and the entire room erupted into chaos.
007 turned around just as one of the guards, who had crept up on him, leaped forward, swinging his hoof wildly. James kicked the guard he had been holding towards him, knocking them both to the floor, before shooting them both. The ponies around the room collectively screamed, and started galloping towards the exit, or, barring that, as far away from the conflict as possible. He internally cursed the mass crowd, as he couldn’t make out where the guards were because of it. Crossbow bolts came flying through the air, embedding themselves in the poker tables just behind him. Must be bringing out the toys from the armory, James deduced.
“Get down!” he barked over at Twilight, taking cover behind a table that had been overturned in the panic. She obliged, but not before sending off a few blasts of magic towards their attackers. One of them caught a pegasus stallion that had been firing from the air, and he promptly fell to the ground in a heap. Here we go, James thought grimly, hunkering down as more crossbow bolts came flying their way.
He sat there for a moment, listening as some of the guards shouted orders at others. They seem pretty disorganised. Still, if he didn’t start firing back then they were sure to start flanking. He went to stand and fire, but saw, to his horror, that one of the unicorn guards had enveloped the table that the two of them were hiding behind in his magic, trying to lift it off the ground. In an instant, Bond dropped into a prone position on his side, aiming through the crack between the carpet and the now-floating poker table. Spotting the offending unicorn, he squeezed off two shots, both of which hit home. The guard fell, as did the table.
“Is there a plan, or are you just making this all up as you go along?” Twilight shouted as James fired a few more rounds.
“We need to get after him!” Bond replied over the noise. “Anything you can do that could help with that? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re fairly outnumbered here!”
Twilight thought for a second as she picked up a nearby chair with her magic, throwing it at one of the approaching guards. “I think so. I know a spell that might let us move forward a bit easier.”
“I’m open for ideas,” he told her, firing the last few bullets in the clip blindly before loading another one into the gun. Only one spare magazine left after this, he noted. Better not waste any bullets.
The unicorn’s horn started to glow. “It’s a shield spell,” she informed him. “My brother taught it to me. It should stop any projectiles from coming in, but let you shoot out.”
“That’s perfect, good job!" he called out as the shield began to take form, expanding outwards from Twilight’s horn. She looked over to him and nodded determinedly, so he stood up. The guard wielding crossbows tried their best to shoot through the purple shield, but to no avail. Even the blasts of magic from other unicorns had no effect. Smirking, James took aim and started to fire, dropping most of their attackers with ease. Intimidated, and quickly losing morale, a few of the weaker-willed guards turned tail and fled for their lives. Either way, they’re out of the picture, Bond thought, as he and Twilight started to advance towards the door that Brute Force had escaped through.
Only a few remained now, futilely trying to blast their way through Twilight’s defence. Quickly reloading his weapon, Bond picked off three of them. As they dropped to the floor, only one remained, who charged straight towards them in some sort of kamikaze attack. To Bond’s surprise, the pegasus stallion flew right through Twilight’s shield. Wait, what? Oh, she did mention projectiles. I guess flying ponies doesn’t fall into that category. James fell into a defensive stance, bracing himself as the pegasus tried to tackle him. At the last moment, he sidestepped, grabbing the pegasus’ wing and throwing him to the ground violently. Before the stallion could recover, he grabbed a nearby barstool and brought it down on his head, knocking him out cold.
“I think that’s all of them,” James murmured, catching his breath quickly. “Come on, he went this way.” The both of them ran towards the door that Brute escaped through. To Bond’s surprise, it only led to a stairwell. Trapping yourself, Brute? Okay, you definitely are stupid. It was locked, but Bond shot the lock quickly and kicked the door in, allowing them access.
He ran in, pointing his weapon up through the concrete stairwell. It may have been his imagination, but he could have sworn that he saw Brute dashing upwards towards the roof about ten floors up. Well, this will be one hell of a climb. "Hope you don't mind stairs," he called back to Twilight as he started to ascend.
"Ugh," she groaned, following behind him closely. "Not this. It's like the Crystal Palace all over again." Bond decided not to ask. Instead, the two continued upwards, bounding up the stairs two at a time. It was a long way up, and Bond kept his eye on what he assumed to be Brute Force, still scrambling up the stairs floors above them. He hadn’t heard any of the doors on the way up slam shut either, so he could only assume that the stallion was trying to escape to the roof.
“Almost there,” he called out wearily a few minutes later, as they neared the roof. “The bastard’s cornered; there’s nowhere left for him to go.”
“And not a moment too soon,” he heard Twilight call back a few steps down. “If I never see another staircase in my life, it’ll be too soon.” She groaned again slightly, and picked up the pace, moving closer to Bond as he reached the door to the roof.
He turned around and faced the mare. “You ready for this?” he asked her, putting a hand on the door. She nodded silently. Nodding back, he took a breath and pushed it open, running out onto the roof of the casino.
Running outside, James immediately noticed Brute inside what appeared to be a personal carriage, being pulled by two of his pegasus guards, who were already starting to take off. Thinking quickly, he aimed his gun as they took to the air, firing off the rest of the bullets loaded in an effort to down the two pegasi. Thankfully, it worked. The two stallions yelled out in pain as the bullets hit them, and sent them tumbling downwards. The carriage crashed into the roof, knocking both of the pegasi free and sending them sliding to a halt, either dead or unconscious, on the other side of the roof. The carriage, however, kept going, sliding along the roof, with Brute still inside, before tipping over the edge. It stopped suddenly, as one of the pegasus’ reins had been caught on a statue, which was now holding the entire carriage back from tumbling down to the street.
"Et tu, Brute?" James called out, as he reached the side of the building.
“Oh, glad to see you're having fun, Bond!” Brute screamed back in frustration. He was trapped inside the carriage, since it was hanging too precariously for him to move, let alone climb out of it. “Why can’t you just die?!”
“It’s over!” James called back, lowering his gun. “The royal guard will be here from Canterlot soon to bring you in. Stay there, and I’ll see if I can secure the carriage!”
The carriage sagged, as the pressure of gravity began to prove too much for the rein that was holding it. “I’d rather die than have to submit to the whim of those tyrants!” the stallion cried, seemingly resigned to his fate. “For too long pony kind has bowed to them both! I could have ushered in a new age! One in which Equestria, and everypony in it, was truly free!”
“More like a chaotic age!” Twilight retorted, trotting up to the edge next to James. “You would have made Equestria as hellish and sleazy as this place! Celestia and Luna rule to bring peace to Equestria!”
“How can you be so naive?!” he called out, before calming herself. “No matter,” he said to them, bringing himself to a standing position precariously. “If ponies weren’t as shortsighted as you are, the two sisters would have never come into power in the first place.” The carriage sagged again. “Just know this: I am not the only one with these kinds of ideals. There are others! Even if I have failed, some of them are sure to try, and perhaps even succeed!”
He went to continue his rant, but was interrupted as the rein holding the carriage finally snapped. There was a deafening screech of metal, and the carriage, with Brute along with it, fell from the roof of the casino. From the top of the buillding, James could make out the stallion's terrified screams, before the carriage crashed into the street storeys below in a wreck of twisted metal.
"You know, you should try it sometime. Get away from it all. It really lends perspective."
***
Twilight Sparkle sat on her haunches, looking down at the chaotic scene from above as it played out. How everything has changed in just the last few days, she pondered. Nopony ever knew that there was life beyond our planet. Heck, some laughed at the mere notion. How wrong they were. She looked up at James, who had ripped off a section of his jacket’s sleeve and was using it to bind a wound he had sustained during the previous battle. I can’t help but think he’s done this kind of thing countless times before.
“You alright?” she heard him ask as he stepped towards her, looking over the edge of the building at the royal guards below. “That got pretty intense back there.”
Twilight sighed, and looked up again. “Yeah, I’m okay. A few scratches, but nothing a good night’s sleep can’t fix.” Probably won’t be having one for a while, though. “Or maybe a trip to the spa with Rarity, when I get back to Ponyville.” She smiled at the idea, before looking down at the wrecked carriage far below. She noticed a few guards carrying Brute Force away in a bodybag, and turned back to Bond again. “Do you think he really thought he was doing the right thing?” she asked.
“No,” he answered simply. “Even if he had convinced himself that he was doing a good thing, he would have only exploited his position of power, had he gained one. He may have preached about freedom, for everybody, but in the end he would have stood to gain something from it all.”
She thought about this for a second. “Hmm,” she murmured. “I suppose. It’s a shame, really.” She sighed and looked down at the wreck below once again. “It didn’t need to end this way. He didn’t need to die.”
Bond nodded and grunted in agreement, before sitting down next to her, looking over the edge. “How are you holding up?” he asked, looking over at her as she continued to stare downwards.
“I’ll manage,” she told him. “Like I said, nothing a trip to the spa won’t fix. Honestly, I’m just shaken up by it all. So much has happened so fast. I mean, you show up in the middle of town and suddenly I’m dragged into this mess of a conspiracy. I’ve come closer to being killed more times in the last few days than I have in all the other times I’ve found myself in danger.”
“You didn’t have to come with me to Canterlot that day, you know,” James pointed out. “You could have just stayed home with your friends. I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
Twilight smiled and looked up at him. “Well, yeah, I guess, but I couldn’t do that. You needed somepony to go with you to meet the princesses. Besides, I wasn’t going to abandon a friend in a time of need.” She paused. “We are friends, right?”
Bond paused too, for a brief moment, before smiling slightly. “Yeah, we’re friends. Speaking of which, though, I think the rest of your friends are worried sick about you right now. I assume you told them that you were supposed to be returning to Ponyville?”
The mare gasped. “Oh, you’re right!” She bounced to her hooves and started pacing back and forth. “I never got to meet any of them before I was kidnapped. They’ve probably gotten Spike to send a letter to Princess Celestia telling them I’ve gone missing!”
“I think you’re probably right,” James agreed, getting to his feet and looking to the sky. Snapping herself out of her worry, Twilight followed his gaze. When she saw what he saw, her eyes widened, and a smile broke out upon her face.
“Princess Celestia!” she called out, bouncing forward to meet her mentor as she landed deftly on the rooftop.
“Twilight, my faithful student,” the princess returned the greeting, wrapping a wing around the unicorn and bringing her into an embrace. “Thank goodness you’re alright. I received a letter from your friends that said you hadn’t shown up in Ponyville, so I dispatched a squad of guards, and came as soon as I could.”
“Thank you, princess,” Twilight replied, hugging Celestia and James looked on. “James and I already managed to end the problem, though.”
Bond nodded. “Twilight was very brave. I couldn’t have stopped Brute Force without her.”
“Don’t forget that you saved my life too, James,” she pointed out as Celestia released her. “If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be dead, or still in the hooves of these ponies.”
Princess Celestia smiled warmly, stepping towards 007. “Thank you, James, for everything you have done. For protecting Twilight, as well as myself and my sister. We owe you a great debt.” Bond simply nodded as she peered over the roof of the casino. “It is... regrettable that Brute Force met his end like this. The death of anypony, even a hateful one such as he, is a sadness.” She turned back to Bond. “Thank you again. I cannot stress how grateful I am.”
“It was my pleasure, princess,” he responded simply.
“Did you find what, or who, you were looking for at the Canterlot University?” she asked him, as another carriage hauled by guards touched down on the roof.
James nodded. “Yes, I did. Turns out the mare who brought me here wasn’t everything she said she was. She masqueraded as a kidnapped professor.”
Celestia thought on this for a moment. “Did you kill her too?” she asked grimly.
Bond nodded, but Twilight spoke up. “To be fair, princess, I was in danger at the time. If James hadn’t acted, she would have killed me.”
The princess bristled slightly, but turned to Bond again, smiling with gratitude. “Then thank you again, James. Now, I think we should be getting back to Canterlot immediately.”
“I concur,” 007 said. “I’ve had enough of this place.”
The three of them climbed aboard the royal carriage, which promptly took to the sky as the guards that were pulling hauled it away. Twilight looked down upon the city of Las Pegasus as it faded into the distance, before turning back to the princess.
“Princess, do you think you could send a letter to Spike and my friends?” she asked, suddenly remembering her past worries. “Just so they know that I’m alright?”
Celestia smiled. “Of course, my faithful student.” Her horn lit up, and a quill and scroll of parchment appeared in front of her with a small flash of light. She picked them both up with her magic, and wrote the note quickly yet elegantly. Finished, she rolled the scroll up, and sent it away to Twilight’s friend and assistant. The unicorn breathed a sigh of relief, and settled down comfortably in her seat.
“So, what happens now?” Bond asked the princess.
“You can go home,” Celestia told him, much to his relief. “Though the process can be very tiring, for all of those involved. I recommend you stay for one more night, to get some rest.” James contemplated this, and nodded. “Thankfully, the spell won’t require you to be on the brink of death, unlike the version that brought you here.”
James smiled. “Well, that’s certainly a relief. Not exactly the most pleasant experience, plunging off a bridge with a bullet wound in your chest.”
“I can imagine.”
“James,” Twilight suddenly spoke up. “What is that you do, exactly? You said you’re a secret agent, but what does a secret agent do?”
Bond raised an eyebrow. “If I told you that, I wouldn’t be a very good secret agent, would I? Besides, you only knew about that because Celestia read my mind.”
“I had to know I could trust you,” the princess justified. “And I found that I could. If you’re worried about your country’s secrets, then you needn’t. I only skipped through the basics. James Bond, agent 007. Earned his license to kill after killing a section chief selling classified information. You fight for your country, to keep it safe,” she recounted. “A noble cause. We’re not looking to start a war, or uncover things that you’d rather keep covered. If anything, we’re just curious. Life beyond our world is not something we particularly know anything about.”
“So you want to know about everything I’ve done in my once-promising career in espionage?”
Celestia smirked playfully. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of adventures over the years, James. We all have. Why don’t we all share?”
Bond chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? Oh, fine,” he finally relented. “But I’m not going into too many details.”
***
“Wait, wait, what?” Twilight blurted out as James recounted his tale. The carriage had almost arrived at Canterlot Castle, and sun had finally disappeared behind the horizon to make way for Luna’s moon. “So it was Nicole who planned the whole kidnapping in the first place? Why would she do that?”
James sighed, remembering the fateful scene on the bridge in Monaco. “She said she wanted to prove herself, to a rich and powerful man. A man who was apparently bigger than everything, even MI6.” He stopped looking out at the city below them and towards Twilight instead. “In the end, it only got her killed.”
Princess Celestia went to say something out of sympathy, but was interrupted as one of the guards pulling the carriage called back to her. “We’re approaching the castle now, your highness! Prepare for landing!”
“Thank you, captain,” she called back, before returning you attention to James. “That sounded horrible. To do all that for, what I assume, love. Did you ever find this man?” she wondered.
James shook his head. “Not yet. Nothing has ever come up. Honestly, most just swept the whole ordeal under the rug and pretended that it never happened. It’s a shame, really.”
The three of them jolted as the carriage set down on one of the castle balconies. A waiting guard opened the door, bowing to the princess as they all exited the carriage. “Thank you, sirs,” Celestia said to the guards that had transported them. As usual, they remained stoic and attentive, and simply nodded in recognition.
“Now, the both of you really must get some rest,” the princess advised as they made their way into the castle’s hallways. “On second thought, I may add myself to that list as well. The last few days have been truly exhausting, as I’m sure you agree.”
“So much has happened,” Twilight added. “I feel like just hopping into bed and nothing else. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some sleep.”
Celestia smiled as they made their way upstairs. “Your bedrooms are as you left them, of course.” She looked back at Bond as they walked. “James, you are free to stay as long as you like, but I get the feeling that you would like to return to your home as soon as possible. Would you like for my sister and I to perform the spell tomorrow?”
“Yes, please,” he replied. “I think I need a break, away from everything.”
The sun princess nodded. “Very well. I will inform Luna as soon as possible, then.” The three of them stopped as they reached the door to Twilight’s bedroom. “Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Good night.” With that, she nodded and trotted back down the hallway.
Twilight watched her go for a second, before looking up at Bond. “Well, this has certainly been an adventure, hasn’t it, James?” She smiled and yawned. “Thank you again, by the way. For everything that you’ve done for us.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Twilight,” he pointed out modestly. “I was only doing what had to be done.”
She brushed him off, “Don’t be so modest. You saved the lives of me, the princesses, and probably countless other ponies by what you did.” She yawned again, before looking up at him and sighing. “You’re definitely going home again tomorrow, aren’t you?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered quietly and simply, nodding at her.
“It’s a shame,” Twilight murmured. “You’re a good man; a good friend. I hope that we’ll be able to see each other again someday.”
“Oh, I’d say it’s likely,” he told her, stepping past the door and towards his own. “I highly doubt that Celestia’s curiosities are going to be satisfied through my experiences alone. Don’t worry, Twilight. I have no doubt that we’ll run into each other again, somehow.”
The unicorn smiled at the idea. “I hope so,” she said to him, pushing open the door to her bedroom. “Either way, I’ll be there when the princess perform the spell anyway, so we’ll get to say goodbye properly. Good night, James.”
He smiled back at her. “Good night, Twilight.” With that, he opened the door to his own bedroom and stepped inside, ready to get some well-deserved rest.
***
The mid-morning sun shone brightly through the number of stained glass windows that adorned the walls of the castle’s main halls. He hadn’t had time to properly examine them all during his first visit, but now he found that Twilight and her friends had obviously had a large role in shaping Equestria’s history, at least recently. To say he was impressed would have been an understatement.
He straightened the jacket he was wearing. It was the brown leather (or, at least, something extremely similar to leather. He had heard that cows were sapient in Equestria) one that Rarity had lovingly crafted for him, alongside a light blue shirt that he wore underneath. Celestia and Luna had told him that they couldn’t properly tell where on Earth they were going to send him, but they knew that he would not be far from some sort of civilisation. In the end, he had chosen to wear the cleanest, least damaged set of clothes that he had.
“Are you ready, James?” Princess Celestia asked, as both her horn and her sister’s lit up with their magical glow. “I’m afraid to say that this may be quite painful, but it should subside quickly.”
“And I think that it will not even come close to the kind of pain that brought you to our land in the first place,” Princess Luna added.
Bond took a deep breath, and nodded. “I’m ready.”
The horns of the regal sisters began to glow even brighter as they charged their spell. Using the brief window of opportunity, Twilight trotted in front of Bond and looked up at him, smiling. “Goodbye, James, and thank you! I’ll never forget what you’ve done for us.”
“You’re welcome!” James called out over the high-pitched whine that was emanating from the princesses’ horns as their spell neared full charge. “I hope we see each other soon!”
“Me too, James! Me too!” he heard the unicorn shout back, before he was engulfed in a blinding flash of light. He clenched his eyes shut instinctively, and a wave of pain overcame him as the spell did its duty. There was a few seconds of nothing; absolute silence accompanied by the same white light and a feeling of weightlessness, before there was another bout of pain and noise. He felt himself overcome by gravity once more, and he collapsed to the ground.
Sand? he thought. I can feel sand.
Tentatively, he opened one eye to observe his surroundings. To his surprise, he found himself on a tropical beach. The sun was just setting on the horizon, and the tide of the sea was coming in, slowly making his way towards him as he lay on the sand. In the distance, he could make out shouts and singing, as well as the light of a fire.
Can it be? Am I really home? James went to sit up, but winced as he felt a familiar pain shoot through his shoulder. Damn it, the bullet wound. I almost forgot. Thankfully, his clothes had survived the journey, so at least he had his dignity intact.
“Well, I said I wanted to get away,” he thought aloud as he climbed to his feet. “I think I could use a holiday anyway.” He looked around and noticed that the source of the singing seemed to be a small hut at the end of the beach, which housed what looked like a bar. Straightening out his jacket and brushing off sand, James sighed and made his way towards it.
He thought of M, of MI6, and of London. In the past he had fought valiantly for the service. He couldn’t say he was particularly proud of his work. After all, murder was the profession. However, he couldn’t say that he regretted it, either. In the end, all he wanted to do now was relax. Recent events, even without being pulled into a magical world inhabited by talking ponies, had drained him physically and mentally. Celestia had given him the perfect opportunity to settle down and recuperate, and he was going to take it.
Hello, retirement.
***
Some time later...
Princess Twilight Sparkle smiled as she trotted through the streets of Canterlot. The Summer Sun Celebration couldn’t have gone any better, even with the strange events that had precluded it. She finally felt happy; no longer felt worried about her responsibilities as a princess. Her friends had her back through thick and thin, after all. They were going to stick by her no matter what.
I wonder what Princess Celestia could want? she thought as she reached the gates to the castle. The two guards standing watched bowed before her as she passed, something she hadn’t quite gotten used to yet. It seemed like only yesterday that nopony even knew, or cared, who she was. Heck, it felt like only yesterday that she was cooped up in her library in the castle, ignoring and dismissing the mere idea of making friends. Oh, how times change.
The front doors to the main hall were open, and she trotted through to see Princess Celestia, her previous mentor. At times both of them had to remind themselves that Twilight was no longer the sun princess’ faithful student, but a proper princess in her own right.
“Good morning, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said, as she approached, smiling up at her.
Celestia smiled back. “Good morning, Twilight.” She stepped down from her throne and drew the purple alicorn into a hug, which was returned. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too,” Twilight replied. “I think I’ve finally gotten used to this whole ‘princess’ thing by now.”
“I’m glad to hear it, Twilight.” Celestia released her from the embrace, and smiled down upon her. “Now, I assume you’re wondering why I summoned you here.”
Twilight nodded.
“I have a very important quest for you to undertake; one that could be potentially dangerous,” the princess explained. “We still do not know much about the world that our previous friend came from. I believe that it is time that we found out.”
“You can count on me, princess.”
“It may be worthwhile taking a few of your friends along with you,” she continued. “As I said, this mission could be potentially dangerous. Either way, I will give you time to decide how you wish to proceed.” She paused, and looked down at her. “Do you think you can do this, Twilight? Will you travel to this world, to look upon it with pony eyes?”
Twilight looked up at Celestia, a determined look in her eyes. “With pleasure, princess. With pleasure.”
