After getting the role of a lifetime Jeremy Taylor ends up turning into his characters alter ego from a show that ended a few years ago in this Five Score, Divided By Four side story.
Well this is interesting. Right after I get the role of playing The Doctor in Doctor Who it turns out that I really am the Doctor! His Equestrian form for that matter.
Oh bloody hell. I’ve heard of being born to play a role but this is just fucking ridiculous! Ok maybe I should go back a bit and explain what’s going on. You see my name is Jeremy Taylor and up until my 25 birthday my life was pretty normal; I was a graduate of Rose Bruford College of Theatre & Performance, I had a cute if not a bit clumsy girlfriend, and a job doing small acting parts in commercials, and TV shows. Anyway I guess you could say this all started a few days before my birthday, when I got a call from my agent.
I was sitting in a cafe eating some chips after a long day of filming the pilot for a new show about a man going through rehab that falls in love with an Irish bartender, when my phone rang.
"Hello." I said answering it after seeing it was my agent.
"Jeremy, cheek it out. You know how you've been asking me to find you better jobs?" My agent asked.
"Yeah..." I answered curious to what he found.
"Well apparently someone over at the BBC got a hold of your profile and recommended you for the part of the next Doctor in the hit show Doctor Who."
"You're kidding! For real?" I asked excitedly.
"Yeah man. You have an audition tomorrow at 11, at the BBC. Don't be late."
"Thanks!" I said hanging up.
I quickly finished my food before paying for it and heading home to my two story London flat. Once there I called my girlfriend to tell her the good news.
"Hello?" She asked answering her phone.
"Hey Maggie it's me Jeremy". I answered back.
"Oh! Hey Jeremy! What's up?" She asked.
"Oh not much, just my agent got me an audition for the part of the next Doctor on Doctor Who tomorrow." I explained.
"Wow! That's awesome!" She exclaimed excitedly. "I hope you do well tomorrow. I got to go now. My parents are in town and they're taking me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday a day early. Love you."
"Ok, Have fun. Love you too. Bye." I said before hanging up.
That night I made sure to get tons of rest so I wouldn't be tried for my audition, but my brain had other plans. For the hundred thousandth time since the series ended I had a dream about the series finale of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.
Doctor Whooves was running through the Everfree Forest, every so often ducking behind a tree. “Derpy?!” He called out for the blond Pegasus. As he came to a small cliff a Dalek came around the corner and he was pulled to the side.
I shot out of bed with a start. Why did that dream always freak me out so much? It wasn't that scary and always ended before it could get anywhere near the end of the episode. Anyway I got out of bed, and got ready for my audition. When 10:30 rolled around I got in my car and started the eight minute drive to the BBC. I walked up to the front desk and the lady there told me where to go. A few minutes later I was sitting in a hallway next to about five other guys who were all about my height and build all with brown hair and lightly tanned skin.
I passed the time reading a science magazine I had brought and It wasn't long before a young women with a headset and clipboard came out and told me they were ready. I walked into the small studio and right away I could tell that they liked me. The head writer of the show, as well as the previous Doctor were there and I think I heard them muttering something about my looks being uncanny to the casting director. Anyway I sat down on the chair and they gave me a part of a script to read.
"Ok, but what are you going to do?" The previous Doctor said reading me in.
"Well," I began almost not even looking at the script. "Once I get my sonic screwdriver back from that little brat I'm going to shut down the supercomputer, disrupt the radio transmission, fix the TARDIS, and get us the hell out of here! Then I think I'll take a nice relaxing walk cross one of the many red sand beaches of Blindor Seven." I finished.
It was only then that I realised that I had been holding the script upside down and didn't even look at it. Luckily they didn't seem to notice, as everyone in the room was standing and clapping. I had to admit this was a first, not just getting a standing ovation at an audition but being able to finish reading an audition script before being interrupted.
When the clapping died down and everyone took their seats again the casting director told me that my audition was the best that they had seen so far and that they'd let me know if I got the part or not by tomorrow which was the Doctor Who Anniversary and my birthday. I shook their hands and went back to my house and called Maggie to see what time she wanted me to pick her up so we could celebrate her birthday.
“Hey Maggie, it’s me Jeremy, just calling to see what time you wanted me to pick you up for tonight. Call me when you get this.” I said when I got her answering machine.
Right after I hung up I got a text from her saying that she wasn't feeling well and that she had to cancel. I texted her back telling her that it was ok and hoped she would feel better soon. After canceling our reservations, and with no other plans for the night I called up a couple buddies of mine and we decided to celebrate my birthday a day early.
I woke up the next day around 11:00 with a pounding headache, when I got the call from my agent.
“Hey Jeremy. You ready for the best birthday present ever?” My agent asked me when I answered the phone.
“What?” I asked trying to rub the hangover I had out of my head.
“BBC just called, you got the part!” He said excitedly into the phone.
“Really! AH!” I said as my head pounded at the increase in noise.
“You alright?” My agent asked.
“Yeah, my friends and I decided to celebrate my birthday a day early last night and now I’m a bit hung over.” I explained rubbing the last of the sleep from my head.
“Well good luck with that. Anyway be sure to get a lot of rest this week because we begin filming the season première next week.” He explained.
“Alright.” I said before hanging up to go take a shower.
As I stepped into the shower I noticed a strange mark on my leg that wasn't washing off. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a tattoo of an hourglass
“When did I get you?” I said to myself looking at the tattoo and thinking back only for my head to start pounding again. “Ah! Well I guess I must have gotten it last night in my drunken stupor.” I said finishing up and making a mental note to make an appointment at the local tattoo removal shop later.
My day was pretty uneventful after that. I mostly sat around rewatching some old episodes of Doctor Who to help prepare for the role when I got a text from my girlfriend saying that she was coming over.
She arrived some time around 21:00, knocking frantically. I opened the door and noticed she was wearing a hoodie so I couldn't see her hair and she wasn't making eye contact. She gave me a giant bear hug and I couldn't help but notice she smelled like muffins. We sat down in the living room across from each other.
“I just didn’t know who else to go to.” Maggie said looking up at me. “You have to promises not to tell anyone.” She said pulling her hood down to reveal that her normal brunette hair was now blond.
“That’s it, you dyed your hair?” I asked before noticing two gray pony ears sticking out of it. “Oh My Gosh, Your Ears!” I said looking at them.
“That’s not all.” She said before turning around and taking her pants off to reveal a blond tail and a tattoo of a couple of bubbles on her leg. “Please Doctor you've got to help me.” She said putting her pants back on.
“Did she just call me Doctor?” I thought to myself before answering. “Well Derpy. I don’t know what to say. How did this happen?” I asked.
“It started yesterday when I found this weird tattoo of Derpy’s Cutie mark on my leg that I don’t remember getting. I was really weirded out about it so I went online to see if I could find an explanation. However because of recent events over the past few months I couldn't find a whole lot.” She explained.
It was true. The entire country has been on lockdown due to what was going on around the world and it was starting to look a lot like V for Vendetta outside.
“All I could find were unverifiable reports of people turning into ponies all over the world and it being linked to mass disappearances. Then this morning my hair started to grow longer and change colour, later I walked by a mirror and saw I had pony ears. When my tail came in I decided to come see you.” She finished telling me.
“Wow.” I said leaning back in my chair. “Well I guess we can definitely say those reports of people turning into ponies are now verified. And you might not be alone in this.” I said standing up.
“What do you mean?” Maggie asked
“Well when I woke up this morning I found this on my leg.” I said pulling my pants down to reveal the hourglass mark on my leg. “At first I thought I had got it in a drunken stupor but after what you told me I think it might be connected to what’s happening to you.” I explained pulling my pants up and sitting down again.
We just stayed like that for a while not saying anything both of us still trying to comprehend what was going on. I told her that I got the part of the Doctor and because it was starting to get late and do to what was happening with the government and our transformations, I offered her the guest bedroom which she accepted.
That night I dreamt about the series finale again, but for some reason it was in a first person perspective and it felt more real than my previous dreams.
I was running through the Everfree Forest, every so often ducking behind a tree. “Derpy?!” I called out for the blond Pegasus. As I came to a small cliff I started to hear a familiar sound. Before I could react I was grabbed from the side and pulled into a small outcropping in the cliff just as a Dalek passed by.
“Are you alright Doctor?” A familiar voice asked.
“Derpy! Thank goodness you're alright!” I said hugging her.
“What are those things?” She asked seeing another one in the distance. “They're all over the Everfree.”
“They're called Daleks. But I don’t know how they got here. They shouldn't even exist in this world.” I explained. “In any case we need to get to the TARDIS.”
“You mean that big blue box that’s bigger on the inside and goes Wowwowowowowow.” She asked.
“It doesn't go-never mind, yes the big blue box that goes wow.” I said facehoofing.
“Alright.” She said before we exited the small outcropping.
“Going somewhere Doctor?” An evil voice said from behind us.
“Discord!” I said turning around to see the Draconequus floating above a group of Daleks.
“Hahahaha, hello Doctor Whooves. Have you met my new friends the Daleks?” He said resting his arm on one. “’Cause they really want to meet you.”
“The Doctor is required.” One of the Daleks said.
“All in good time my deformed metal friend.” Discord said, patting the one that talked on the top of its mini-tank.
“I know what you're planning Discord and you can forget it! I'm the Doctor. I'm 2051 years old. I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness, and we are going to stop you.” I said taking a step forward.
“Oh? And how do you plan to do that? With your little flashlight? I don’t think so. You see, I’ve taken precautions to make sure the elements won’t stop me. But you my friend are the only thing that has the ability to put an end to it.” He said angrily. “But you’ve caught me in a good mood so I’ll be generous. You see I’m aware that you’ve been trying to get your TARDIS to take you back to your world and my new friends have told me all about it. So how about I send you there?” Discord said laughing maniacally.
“Derpy.” I whispered to her while Discord was ranting. “When I give the signal, I want you to run to the TARDIS as fast as you can and get everything ready to leave.”
“Right.” She said getting ready to bolt for the time machine.
“Now!” I shouted pulling out my sonic screwdriver from my collar and zapping Discord with it before running.
“AH! Why you little… Get him!” The Draconequus shouted at the Daleks, recoiling a little from being shocked.
I managed to get away from the pursuing Daleks thanks to a friendly river serpent with a questionable sexuality, and started to make my way to the TARDIS when I heard a familiar laugh.
“Well, well. Looks like you managed to get away from the Daleks, but no matter, this ends now.” Discord said creating a ball of energy and throwing it at me. I quickly dodged it, jumping out of the way. “Hold still would you!” He said creating another one.
I started to run as fast as I could back to the TARDIS dodging left and right as Discord throw wave after wave of energy balls at me. Finally the TARDIS was in sight and I could see Derpy waving at me from the door. Unfortunately Discord saw her too and throw one of his energy balls at her and hit her square in the face causing her to stumble back.
“NOOOOO!” I screamed jumping into the TARDIS as the doors closed, but not before getting hit in the back by one of the energy balls.
The last thing I saw before blacking out was my sonic screwdriver sliding across the floor landing under the control panel and the TARDIS starting up.
I woke up the next morning to the sounds of someone screaming and something crashing coming from the guest room. I quickly jumped out of bed, noticing my hair was a bit longer in the back as well as a few shades lighter, and quickly ran and burst into the guest room to find a bundle of sheets with gray ears and blond hair sticking out of it laying on the floor next to a broken lamp.
“Are you alright Maggie?” I asked walking over to the bundle of sheets that was my girlfriend.
“Ya I think so.” She said as I helped her out of the sheets. When she looked down at her legs she almost froze. “M-m-my Feet!” she shouted.
“Oh My God!” I said looking at them. Some time during the night her feet had turned into hooves. “That’s not all” I said pointing to two bulges sticking out of the back her shirt.
“WHAT!” She said looking behind herself before removing her shirt to reveal a pair of gray wings. “B-but how?” She asked looking up at me.
“I don’t know.” I said shaking my head before noticing her eyes were now crossed and remembering my own dream. “No wait, did you have any strange dreams last night?”
“Actually yes I did. I dreamt about the series finale of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. But it was weird, it was like I was living it.” She explained.
“How did it end?” I asked looking at her.
“Why didn’t you see it?” She asked tilting her head confused as her ears flattened slightly.
“Just remind me.” I said reassuringly. “If she says it ended the way I think she’ll say it ended then that will confirm my hypotheses.” I thought to myself.
“Well,” She began, thinking about it. “They had finally made Doctor Whooves cannon and the Everfree forest was crawling with Daleks.” So far so good. “Then Discord appeared and turned out to be behind the appearance of the Daleks. Doctor Whooves then told Derpy to run to the TARDIS and get it ready while he took on both Discord and the Daleks himself.”
“Then what?” I said coaxing her to continue.
“Well, she managed to get to the TARDIS without incident, and got everything ready to leave. Then a few minutes later the Doctor arrived being chased by Discord who was throwing energy balls at him. Derpy then waved to tell him that everything was ready but was spotted by Discord and was hit by one of the energy balls causing her to stumble backwards and hit the close door button.”
“And that’s how it ended is it?” I asked and she nodded. “Right then.” I said taking a deep breath. “I don't know how to say this but I think that was more than just a dream.”
”What do you mean?” She asked looking at me with her now golden eyes.
“You see I too had a dream about the series finale, but it was slightly different from what you remember. Also a few days ago one of my mates mentioned the finale involving Celestia and Discord yet neither of us remember anything between them happening. Thus I have come to the conclusion that they aren't dreams.”
“Then what are they?”
“Memories.”
“Memories?” She asked backing up a bit.
“Yes, residual memories from a past life.” I said as I began to put the pieces of the broken lamp into the garbage.
“But how? It doesn't make sense.” She said helping me.
“Oh? Think about it for a second. You’ve always had a thing for muffins, you could never get enough of the things. For as long as I’ve known you, you've always been a little accident prone but you’ve always made up for it with your bubbly personality. All traits of one Ms. Derpy Hooves. And now, almost out of the blue you get her cutie mark, been having dreams of being her and now start taking on her form.” I explained. “And me. Over the years I’ve always been able to instantly know what the time and date is in any given part of the world without even thinking about it. In high school I excelled in science, math, history and physics. I was even considering becoming a scientist before deciding on an acting career. Not to mention I’ve always been able to correctly guess the ending of every Doctor Who episode ever made! Now I have his cutie mark, I'm starting to have dreams of being Doctor Whooves, and now my hair has started to change to the same as his!”
“But do you know what this means if you’re right?” She asked looking at me. “Not only does that mean that My little Pony is real but so is Doctor Who!”
“I know and that would make me The Doctor but it’s the only explanation that makes the most sense.” I said sighing. “I know this is a lot to take in first thing in the morning so let’s have some breakfast before we figure out what to do next.”
We then went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. She stumbled a few times on the way not used to walking with hooves.
“So what do you want for Breakfast?” I asked once we got to the kitchen.
“Got any oats?” Maggie asked sitting down.
“Oats? You mean like oatmeal?” I asked looking at her.
“Uh, yeah. I’m real craving some oats`.” She said sheepishly.
“Alright.” I said turning on the small television I had in the room and turned it to the news before putting the kettle on and going to the cupboard to get some oatmeal.
“Good morning London, its 7am on November 24, I’m Kate Edwards, and you're watching BBC morning news. Here’s what’s making news this morning; In national news the Queen passed away last night in hospital at the age of 94, Prince Charles is expected to take the throne and she'll be sorely missed. Also making national news, newly elected Prime Minister Adam Creedy has announced the setting up of a new research center at Larkhill. What exactly the subject of the research will be is not clear at this time.” The news women reported. “Police are still baffled by the sudden disappearances of hundreds of citizens in the past seven months and beyond the occasional unconfirmed reports of technicolor ponies associated with disappearances there are no leads. The Police would also like to remind people to lock your windows and doors even during the day when you're home untill the cause behind these disappearances is found. In lighter news Local Actor Jeremy Taylor has been chosen to play the newest reincarnation of The Doctor in the hit television series Doctor Who. The shooting for the new season is set to begin later this week here in our BBC Studios.”
“In International news; Tensions between the worlds government continue to escalate as many countries are now demanding for the U.S. to come clean about their secret weapons test that made world news back in May when a rainbow explosion streaked across the sky of the state of Iowa. The U.S however still claims that no such tests were made and they are still trying find out what happened.”
As we listened to the news, eating breakfast, I couldn't help but think that if I really am becoming Doctor Whooves then what happened to the TARDIS and how did the BBC find out about my past lives. As I pondered this Maggie had stopped eating and turned to talk to me.
“Doctor?”
“Yes?” I said turning to face her.
“I was just thinking, if you’re right and those dreams really are our memories. Then the only reason we wouldn't remember anything happening between Celestia and Discord would be because we were the first to get hit.” She said looking down a bit. “But if that’s true then why is it that we are changing now when it seems that people have been turning into ponies for a while now?”
“I think it has something to do with the TARDIS. We were both in it when we got hit with those energy balls Discord launched at us right before it took off. And I think that do to us being in the time stream when whatever Discord did took effect, it disrupted when we were reborn into this world.” I explained. “Of course that still raises the question of what happened to the TARDIS and why I just didn’t regenerate like I normally would.” No sooner had I said that, that my phone started to ring.
“Hello?” I asked answering it.
“Yes, hello, Jeremy Taylor?” The voice on the other end asked.
“Yes. Who’s this?” I asked.
“Steven Moffat, the head writer for Doctor Who. Your agent gave me your number.” Steven explained. “There’s something very important I wish to talk to you about in person. It involves you and the history of the show.”
“I don't know. A couple of things have come up.” I said looking at my girlfriend.
“Who is it?” She asked walking over.
“It’s the head writer for Doctor Who. He says he has something important to discuss involving the history of the show.” I explained moving the phone away from my mouth.
“Trust me you are going to want to hear what I have to say.” He said almost like he was looking at something interesting.
“Maybe you should agree. It might shed some light on what’s going on.” Derpy said, listening in.
“Alright. Where do you want to meet?” I asked after thinking about it.
“Are you sure this is a good Idea?” Maggie asked from under a blanket in the back of my car, as we drove through the darkened streets of London.
“Hey, you’re the one who said we should agree to meet him.” I said as we turned a corner. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but I don’t think you should have come Derpy. It’s just too dangerous with how you look now.”
Over the past couple of hours Maggie had started to take on more and more Equine traits. Gray fur now covered most of her body, her legs were definitely that of an equine, she had a prominent snout, and her crossed golden eyes were now as big as they were in the show. If it wasn’t for the snout she may have passed for a satyr at a comic book convention.
“Look I know it’s risky but if someone can shed some light on this situation then I want to be there to hear it.” She said as the car came to a stop.
“Well we’re here. Hammersmith Park.” I said reading the small sign.
“I wonder why he wanted to meet this late.” The gray half-pegasus said, looking out the window to make sure no one was watching us.
“I don't know but we'll find out soon.” I said putting on a hat to cover my pony ears before opening the car door.
I opened the back door and helped Maggie out giving her some crutches to help her walk as she pulled up the deep hood on the assassins creed costume I gave her to hide her snout.
“Where did he say he'd be?” Maggie asked looking around, as we walked through the park.
“He said he would meet us by the jungle gym near the northwest entrance of the BBC building.” I said as we got closer to the meeting place. “22:15, this is it.” I said using my ability to know the time without a watch.
“Who’s there?” A voice called from some nearby bushes.
“That depends. Who are you?” I said turning to face where the voice came from, to see Steven Moffat step out. “Oh it’s you Steven.”
“And you must be Jeremy, or should I call you Doctor.” He said with a smile. “Come I have something to show you.” He then turned towards the BBC building and gestured for us to follow.
I looked over at Maggie before shrugging and we both started to follow him to the BBC building. He led us to a door with no handle or lock, next to a loading dock and nodded to a secretary cam before the door slid open to reveal an elevator. We walked in and the door closed as we started to descend.
“So are you going to tell us what’s going on?” I asked looking at Steven.
“What I’m about to show you is the biggest secret that has been kept in this country for the past 55 years. The only people who know about this are trusted employees of the BBC and the Royal Family. We’ve been waiting for your return and with what’s been going on around the world these past few months we knew it was only a matter of time before you showed up.” He explained smiling.
“Ok, who are you really, where are we going, and how do you know I’m The Doctor?” I asked glaring at him.
“Everything will be explained in just a moment.” Steven said as the elevator stopped. “Doctor, Derpy. Welcome to Torchwood.”
“Wow!” We both said as the doors opened to reveal an underground warehouse filled with hundreds of both people and ponies looking at computer monitors, maps and charts.
“Wait I thought Torchwood was in Cardiff.” I said looking around, to which he just chuckled.
“We just said that in the show to keep crazed fans from tearing apart the BBC looking for this place.” He said as he lead us through the headquarters.
“So you guys have been the ones taking in all the people turning into ponies?” Maggie asked as we passed a group of three unicorns.
“For the most part. We’ve been tracking down as many ponies as we can and offering them a safe haven here. Unforchantly parliament has been kidnapping a lot of them and taking them to that research center that Prime Minister Creedy opened at Larkhill.” Steven said with a disappointed sigh.
“What are they doing there?” I asked as we tuned into a long hallway.
“Experimentation.” He said flatly. “They're torturing them, removing the horns from Unicorns, the wings from Pegasi and some things that are too horrible to mention.” He said with a shudder. “We’ve managed to rescue a few ponies from there, that’s how we know what they're doing.” He finished as we came to a pair of big metal doors painted to look like wood. “But enough of that. Lets get back to why you're here. Behind these doors is the answer to all the questions you may have had before coming here.” He said opening the doors to reveal a small room with a blue box that was ten feet in height, four feet in width and four feet length with the words “Police Box” written in white letters across the top.
“It-it’s the TARDIS!” I said walking up to it and feeling the side of it.
“Yep. We’ve been watching over this thing ever since it crashed in Scotland back in 1995.”
“But I don't understand. All the Doctor who seasons take place in the modern world for the year it came out.” Maggie said as she slipped and fell slightly.
“Derpy!” I said running over to her.
“I’m all right” She said sitting down.
“What’s happening to her?” I asked looking back at Steven.
“It’s almost midnight. The final part of her transformation will be happening soon. It takes a lot of energy and the pony usually falls asleep when it happens. But to answer your question Miss Hooves; time, from a non linear, non subjective viewpoint-” He began to explain but was interrupted.
“Is more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.” Derpy and I finished at the same time.
“Right. I guess you heard that before.” Seven said with a bit of a laugh. “Anyway I think it’s about time that you went inside, don't you Doctor?”
“Oh yeah.” I said excitedly walking up and pushing the door open and walking in.
“Well, aren't you going to say it.” I heard from behind me.
I turned around to see Steven helping Derpy into the TARDIS.
“It’s bigger on the inside.” Derpy said looking around which made me laugh a bit.
“That’s odd.” I said as I suddenly started to get a tingling sensation in my chest.
“What?” Derpy asked.
“I don’t know I just started to get this weird tingling sensation in my-” I started but was interrupted when a gold light surrounded my body.
Suddenly all my memories came flooding back of both Equestria and all my misadventures in time.
“Well that was interesting.” I said when the light died down. “Hey did you get taller?” I asked looking up a Steven. “Wait a minute.” I said looking at myself not letting him answer. “Oh, ha, look at that. I’m a pony again. Wow! New but old teeth, weird." I said as my tongue made contact with my teeth. "Hey Derpy I’m back to being a pony again.” I said as I turned to face her only to see her on the floor unconscious. “Oh my, the poor dear fell a sleep. We should really find her a bed.”
“Yes we should.” Steven said picking her up.
“Uh, do you know what happened to my Sonic Screwdriver? Last I saw it, it fell under the control panel here but now it seems to be missing.” I said looking under the control panel.
“Right here.” He said pulling a small rectangular box from his pocket and handing it to me.
“Ah, there it is.” I said opening the box. I then picked it up with my mouth and put it in my collar that appeared around my neck when I regenerated. “Well then I guess all that’s left is to wait for Derpy to wake up and we can get on with stopping Discord.” I said as we walked out of the TARDIS to get Derpy a room.
I was flying through the Everfree Forest trying to get away from these weird robot things that kept saying exterminate and seemed to be everywhere. I eventually managed to lose them by ducking into a small outcropping in a cliff. Shortly after I heard someone call my name and the Doctor came into view. Hearing another one of those weird robots approaching I quickly grabbed him and pulled him into the outcropping.
“Are you alright Doctor?” I asked once the robot passed by.
“Derpy! Thank goodness you're alright!” He said hugging me.
“What are those things?” I asked after he let go and seeing another one in the distance. “They're all over the Everfree.”
“They're called Daleks. But I don’t know how they got here. They shouldn't even exist in this world.” The Doctor explained. “In any case we need to get to the TARDIS.”
“You mean that big blue box that’s bigger on the inside and goes Wowwowowowowow.” I asked looking around for more Daleks.
“It doesn't go-never mind, yes the big blue box that goes wow.” He said facehoofing.
“Alright.” I said before we exited the small outcrop.
“Going somewhere Doctor?” An evil voice said from behind us.
“Discord!” The Doctor said as we turned around to see the Draconequus floating above a group of Daleks.
“Hahahaha, hello Doctor Whooves. Have you met my new friends the Daleks?” He said resting his arm on one. “’Cause they really want to meet you.”
“The Doctor is required.” One of the Daleks said in metallic voice.
“All in good time my deformed metal friend.” Discord said, patting the one that talked on the top of its head.
“I know what you're planning Discord and you can forget it! I'm the Doctor. I'm 2051 years old. I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness, and we are going to stop you.” The Doctor said taking a step forward. “Derpy.” he whispered to me well Discord was ranting about something. “When I give the signal, I want you to run to the TARDIS as fast as you can and get everything ready to leave.”
“Right.” I said getting ready to bolt for the time machine.
“Now!” He shouted pulling out his sonic screwdriver from his collar and zapping Discord with it as I ran for the TARDIS, using my wings for a bit of extra propulsion.
I managed to get to the TARDIS unheeded and quickly started to get it ready to leave. I had seen the Doctor do it on more than one occasion so it wasn't long before the TARDIS roared to life ready to leave the second the Doctor arrived.
A few minutes later I looked outside to see the Doctor being chased by Discord who was throwing energy balls at him. I waved to him, tell him that everything was ready but was spotted by Discord who then through one of the energy balls at me and was hit square in the face causing me to stumble backwards and hit the close door button before I collapsed on the floor. As my vision turned dark I started to hear a voice in my head.
“For Five Score! Divided by Four! Your memories removed, your body confused! For your insolence you must pay, Cast off to a land far far away! Before I scatter the six, this is just the start of my tricks! Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak! Forgetting everything and living like a fool,You have all lost,now no one can stop my rule!” The voice said slowly getting quieter as if it were getting farther away.
I woke up on a soft bed in a room with brown brick walls, a small desk in one corner of the room and full length mirror in another. It took me a second to remember where I was but as I shook the sleep from my head I remembered everything that had happened the previous night. I looked down at my body to see that I was now a hundred percent Derpy. I carefully got out of bed and shakily stood on all fours.
“Ok.” I said to myself. looking at the mirror. “One step at a time. If my mom's cat who’s dumb as fuck can walk with four legs, I can walk with four legs.” Taking one step at a time I eventually made it over to the mirror only stumbling a few times. “So this is the real me?” I said at my reflection. “Not bad.” I said making a cute face. The show was really accurate with my looks.
I found it kind of weird that I can see normally with my eyes being crossed but just chalk it up to some form of magic. Anyway I practised walking around some more and very soon had the hang of it. I was about to try flying when the door slid open.
“Morning Derpy.” Doctor Whooves said from the open door way.
“Morning Doc-” I began but stopped when I turned around to see he was full pony. “Wait I thought you were a day behind me with the transformation process.”
“Ah, yes. You must have fallen asleep at that point.” He said walking over to me and looking at himself in the mirror. “You see, walking into the TARDIS last night jump started my regeneration and I turned back into my pony form as well as getting all my memories back.”
“So now what do we do?” I asked looking up at him.
“Well my original plan was that when you woke up we’d hop in the TARDIS, go back to Equestria, warn Celestia of Discords betrayal and set everything right. But unfortunately the TARDIS is in a bit of disrepair from when it crashed and not being in use of the past 25 years.” He said shaking his head a bit. “ But the kind people here at Torchwood managed to repair some of the damage already so it won't be too long until repairs are completed.” He explained. “So are you up for a bit of Breakfast before you start your lessons?”
“Sure, wait what lessons?” I asked as he put his hoof on a button on the wall making the door slide open again.
“Well some of the Pegasi that have been here for a while have offered to help teach new arrivals that haven't mastered it yet how to fly. The same goes for the Unicorns and their magic.” Doctor Whooves explained as we walked through the halls. “So, what are you in the mood for?” He asked when we arrived at the cafeteria. “They have a lovely assortment of pony friendly foods and the Unicorns have managed to make hay taste like and in the shape of bacon. Anyway," He said not giving me time to answer. "Steven has offered to show you around so he should be here soon. I’ve got to go work on the TARDIS so I’ll see you later.” He said before leaving.
I went over to the servery and grabbed a tray with my mouth, almost knocking over the stack, and moved down the counter looking at all the food laid out. All the food had labels that read one of three things; Pony Friendly, Ponies Only or Humans Only.
“What can I get for you today?” A light blue Unicorn with a spatula cutie mark and her orange mane in a hairnet asked from behind the counter.
“Oh um, I’ll have, um…” I said nervously looking at the pony friendly food.
“Oh, you must be the young mare that came in with the Doctor last night. Derpy Hooves right?” The blue Unicorn asked.
“Ya, what’s your name?” I asked.
“Emerald Jewel.” She said introducing herself. “You know, you’re lucky to end up being one of the main background ponies, a fan favourite at that. Not to mention the Doctors assistant. Me I’m just a simple mare from Trottingham who wasn’t even in the series. If it wasn’t for the dreams I wouldn’t even know my own name.” She explained. “Anyway what can I get you for breakfast? We’ve got hay bacon, oats, barley, grains, daisies, hash browns, toast with butter, crumpets, muffins.” Emerald listed, winking at the last one.
“Um I’ll have some hay bacon, some hash browns and two muffins please.” I said as she levitated my order on to my tray. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Drinks and cups are over there.” The blue Unicorn said nodding to a drink dispenser like the kind you would see at a fast food restaurant next to a small fridge and coffee machine.
I picked my tray up again careful not to spill anything and walked over to the drink dispenser.
“Hmm what to drink, what to drink.” I thought to myself not sure what was safe to drink. Unlike the food, the drinks weren't labelled beyond what they were.
“If you’re wondering what’s safe to drink it all is.” A voice said from behind me.
“Oh it’s you Steven.” I said turning around to see the older gentlemen smiling at me. “So everything’s good here?” I asked confirming what he just said.
“Yep. A couple of the staff members here at Torchwood turned into ponies and volunteered to be the test subjects for what food and drinks ponies could digest. Turned into bit of a drinking game when we got to alcohol.” He said with a laugh as I pressed the button for coffee. “Here let me help you with that." He said picking my tray up for me.
“Thanks I said wrapping my hoof around the coffee mug and walking over to a free table.
“No problem. I’ve seen how some of the Earth Ponies and Pegasi struggle a bit with carrying stuff when they’re just starting out. we’re actually in the middle of developing devices that will make it a bit easier in the future.” Steven said putting the tray down and sitting across from me.
“So Steven,” I said taking a sip of my coffee. “I’ve been meaning to ask. How did you know The Doctor was The Doctor?”
“Well you see, as I said last night we’ve been waiting for The Doctors return since the TARDIS crashed here back in 1995. Over the years we’ve managed to extract information from it’s main computer including what each Doctor looked like after each of his regenerations so we’ve been able to get actors who look close to what he did during a particular reincarnation, including when he was in Equestria.” He explained as I ate my breakfast. “Anyway when all this pony business started up we know that it would only be a matter of time before he showed up. Then earlier this past week, right when we were about to give up hope, we came a cross his profile. Not just his acting one put his school one too, which revealed his talents in science, math, history, and physics yet he went for an acting career. Intrigued, and being the only lead we had, we gave him an audition. When he entered the room we found it uncanny that he looked like a humanized Doctor Whooves with shorter and a bit darker hair. When he read the lines we knew it was him because he didn’t even look at the script we gave him but managed to recite it, even continuing on to one that wasn't even on his copy. After taking it over with the others we decided to give him the part so we would have easy access to him when he started changing. When his agent called back to tell us he accepted he also told us he sounded a little strange and hoped that wouldn’t affect his acting. When we heard that I made the call for you guys to met us here.”
“Wow. So what about Captain Jack Harkness?” I asked.
"Well his real name is James Harkness, we changed his name in the show at his request, and he's in Scotland right now getting readings on an open rift." Steven explained.
"I see." I said as I finished up.
“So ready for a quick tour of the facility before you begin flying lessons?" He asked.
“Sure I said putting my tray and mug at a little window that lead into the kitchen, with a sign that said “return dishes here”.
Steven gave me a full tour of the Facility. From watching the show I already had a basic understanding of what it was they do here, which was monitoring rifts in time and space for any abnormalities. He explained that so far all they knew about the transformations was that after Discord sent me and Doctor Whooves to this world he over through Celestia and had decided that this was the perfect place to send all the ponies in Equestria well he did who knows what.
Thanks to me being the Doctor’s assistant I was allowed into some of the more restricted areas but there wasn’t anything that interesting in them. Mostly just Information on different aliens, the locations of different rifts and the 97 missing episodes of Doctor Who. All the doors were sliding ones like in star trek or other sci-fi shows and movies, and all of them had been fixed with a button pony level so they could be opened without a problem.
We ended the tour in a large room that looked similar to the Danger Room from X-Men. Inside a group of Unicorns were putting away different sized weights, half of which had scotch marks or large chips in them, while a light blue Pegasus with a three toned blue mane and tail and two shooting stars for a Cutie Mark, attached a bunch of hoops hanging from the ceiling. Steven had left to go work on the TARDIS, so I just stayed in the room and waited for the flying lessons to start.
“Alright that’s it for now. And remember,” The instructor Unicorn said. “It’s just like what Tanis said to Kes in Star Trek Voyager Season 2. Episode 10: Focus on the goal, not the task.” With that all the Unicorns exited the room as a group of Pegasi entered.
“Ok everypony line up.” The light blue Pegasus said flying down. “Welcome To Flying Lessons, I’m your instructor Shooting Star. Some of you may know me better as one of the anonymous Wonderbolts.” Shooting Star said introducing herself. “Now, before we get started let's go a head and introduce ourselves, you already know my name so who would like to go first?”
“I guess I will.” I said stepping forward. “I guess you kind of all already know but I’m Derpy Hooves and i’m very eager to relearn how to fly.”
“Welcome Derpy. It’s good to have you.” Shooting Star greeted. “And the rest of you?”
“Lightning Dasher.”
“Rain Chaser.”
“Mist Dancer.”
“Thunder Tumble”
“All right, now that we got the introductions out of the way let’s move on to why you're all here.” She said once the introductions were done. She then stretched out her wings before flying over to a nearby table and grabbing a book before flying back. “This is a physics textbook outlining the rules and requirements for any object to be able to fly.” She said allowing us to get a good look at it before she throw it in the air where it was zapped by a Unicorn that stayed behind, causing the book to disintegrate into ashes. “Forget about them. Everything you may have learned about flight before becoming a pony, as of right now, no longer applies to you. Our flight is a form of magic, and just like Unicorn magic, our flight magic allows us to bend the laws of gravity allowing us to stay airborne and walk on clouds.”
“Now,” she said moving in front of us so we could all see her. “Everything you need to know about flight is already in your head, it was just locked away by discord when we were sent to this world. All we have to do is get it out. But for now, when I blow my whistle I want each of you to kick off from the ground, flap your wings hard, hover for a moment, then lean forward slightly and touch back down.” She instructed. “On my whistle. 3, 2, *toot*.”
When she blew her whistle I did as instructed and kicked off the ground closing my eyes as I flapped my wings. When I didn’t feel myself fall I opened my eyes to see I was now hovering a good two feet above the ground as were the other Pegasi in the group. I then leaned forward and touched back down.
“Good. Now that you have a feel for how it’s done we can move on to moving around.” She said as the section of floor we were standing on raised into the air as well as another section on the other side of the room. A net was then stretched across the gap a few feet off the ground. “Now, some of you may have been flying when Discord sent you here, thus flying in the dreams you had when you first started to change into a pony. What I want you to do is remember how that felt and then duplicate it. The task of this exercise is to fly from this platform all the way to the one on the other side of the room. You have to let it all go. Fear...doubt...and disbelief.” Shooting Star said seeing some of the hesitant looks on our faces. “Free your mind…” She said looking directly at me before doing a backflip off the platform and flying over to the other side.
“Wow.” The class said as we watched her seamlessly straighten out and land on the other side.
“Ok.” I said looking down at the net and then across the room where Shooting Star was waiting. “Free my mind...no problem.” I said closing my eyes thinking back to the dream and how I was flying through the Everfree Forest and what it felt like when I did, then about the exercise we just completed.
I took a deep breath before jumping into the air and let my instincts take over. When I opened my eyes I found myself hovering about half way across the gap. Looking back at the other pegasi, who all had looks of astonishment on their faces, a small smile crept across my face before I angled my wings forward and made the rest of the small flight across the room.
“Well done Derpy.” Shooting Star said with a bit of a smirk on her face. “I have to admit, you’re the first pony so far to make it all the way across on their first try. I would make a reference to an old overused meme but I'm’ not Spitfire.” She said with a laugh. “The show really didn’t put your flying skills in that much of a good light.”
“Well it did centre around the elements and the only character development I got was in The Last Roundup.” I said turning to face the others who were getting ready to take off.
“Come on you slackers.” Shooting Star called as we watched the others attempt to duplicate what I did, most of them only getting half way before falling onto the net and taking a small lift back to the starting point again.
After about another 4 minutes everyone managed to make it across the gap without incident and the net was retracted as the platforms lowered down into the floor again.
“Alright. you’ve all managed to pass and are clear to use this room to practise flying on your own.” Shooting Star said happily. “Just keep in mind that outside the high you go the harder you have to work your wings to stay airborne. Now I already have some rings set up if you want to test your agility but you are free to leave.”
“Right.” I said looking up at the rings before deciding to go check on The Doctor.
After grabbing a small late launch, I used my new found flying skills to make my way to the room where the TARDIS was being kept and repaired. When I saw the rings hanging from the ceiling, it had reminded me of something important involving the Doctor and I. As I flew through the halls the sounds of welding, hammering and the occasional sound of what I could only guess was from some alien technology, began to get louder.
“Doctor?” I said sticking my head into the TARDIS.
“Yes Derpy?” He said looking up from a console.
“Can I talk to you in private?” I asked flying over and landing in front of him.
“Alright.” The Doctor said looking into my eyes. “Hey Steven, I’m going to step out for a second. you guys can handle the repairs for a few minutes on your own right?”
“We’ve been doing a good job for the past 25 years haven't we?” Steven called from the lower half.
“Alright.” Doctor Whooves said laughing a bit as we exited the TARDIS. “So what did you want to talk about?”
“Well I want to know about us.” I said looking down a bit.
“Us?” He asked a little confused.
“About our relationship.” I elaborated. “I know that we were dating here on earth but now we're ponies and you're The Doctor thus technically neither human or Pony and...and…” I stopped rambling when I felt a hoof gently push my chin up.
“Derpy.” The Doctor said looking into my eyes with a soft smile on his face, before pulling me into a long passionate kiss which I happily returned. It felt like eternity before he finally broke it.
“Derpy, you have nothing to worry about. I know that you don’t have all your memories back from when we were in Equestria but I do, don't worry no spoilers.” The Doctor said still looking into my eyes. “And I can honestly say that I loved you back then as much as I do now. You may not remember this but the reason you became my companion in the first place was because we were dating and I wanted to take you someplace special. And the fact that we managed to find each other again in this world proves that we were meant to be together.” He said before pulling me into another kiss.
“You two love birds going to come up for air?” A voice called from behind us. We both turned to see Steven standing at the door to the TARDIS.
“Sorry.” I said blushing.
“It’s alright.” He said waving it off. “You know Doctor, we can finish the repairs another time if you want to take the rest of the day off.”
“Thanks Steven.” Doctor Whooves said.
“And hey, if you want I could take you guys up to one of the screening rooms in main BBC building if you guys want to watch a movie or something.” Steven said with a wink.
“That’s sounds lovely. What do you think Derpy?” The Doctor asked looking at me.
“I think you still owe me a romantic evening for my birthday.” I said kissing him on the cheek.
“Alright then.” Steven said clapping his hands together. “Why don’t you two go get ready and I’ll get everything setup for your date. Let’s meet back here in say half an hour?”
We both nodded before going our separate ways. I headed back to my room, getting turned around a couple of times. I finally made it back after a few minutes, when I remembered that I didn’t have anything fancy to wear. I was about to exit my room and ask around if any of the other ponies had anything I could borrow when the door opened and a pale coloured Unicorn mare, with a light blue mane and tail wearing a saddlebag walked in.
“Hello Ms. Hooves?” The Unicorn said.
“Yes. How can I help you?” I asked looking at the Unicorn as the door closed behind her.
“My names Sapphire Silk. Steven said that you might be in need of a dress for tonight.” She said levitating a dress out of her saddlebag and holding it in front of me.
The dress was brown with pictures of muffins on it, with bubbles lining the bottom.
“Wow! This dress is amazing!” I said looking at it. “But how did you put it together in such short notice?”
“Well, it’s my special talent.” She said turning to show her Cutie Mark which was a spool and thread. “Before all this pony business, I was the head of the costume department here at the BBC, so I’m used to short deadlines.” Sapphire explained.
She then helped me into the dress before pulling out a pearl necklace with a muffin pendent on it and putting it around my neck. She then put a couple of pearls in my mane and had me step into muffin shaped shoes.
“Wow! I look amazing! Thanks Sapphire.” I said looking at myself in the mirror as my wings flared.
“You’re welcome.” She said as she prepared to leave. “You should start to make your way to the TARDIS, if you don’t want to be late for your date with The Doctor.” Sapphire said with a wink as the left.
I looked at myself in the mirror one more time before I made my way back to the TARDIS. Steven was already there, waiting for me, but Doctor Whooves was nowhere to be seen.
“Alright Steven I’m all ready, but where’s The Doctor?” I asked looking around.
“Ah, there you are Derpy. Wow, you look lovely,” He said looking at my dress. “The Doctor went ahead, he said he had something special he wanted to set up.”
“Thank you,” I said with a slight blush. “So shall we head up?”
“Alright,” Steven said, leading me through the facility and over to two sets of elevators, one of which I recognized as the elevator that brought us down when we first arrived. He pressed one of the four buttons on the wall between the two elevators and the one elevator that we hadn’t used yet opened to take us upwards.
The Elevator ride was spent mostly in silent apart from some elevator music that sounded like the theme songs of Doctor Who and Torchwood blended together. After a few minutes the elevator stopped and the doors opened to show the empty halls of the BBC building.
“This way, we’ve set everything up in studio 2a,” Steven said leading me down the hall. “Here we are,” He announced as he opened the door and a wave of soft music hit me.
“Derpy…” Doctor Whooves was standing in the middle of a room, a spotlight placed upon him. “I’m not good with words, and probably even worse with music… but I really want to show you how special you are to me so please just…” He chuckled. “Bear with me, and may Van Morrison forgive me.”
A new song started to play. I barely had time to recognize the melody, though, before the Doctor began to sing.
Hey where did we go, Days when they brought the rain Down near the village Playin' a new game, Laughing and a running away Flying and a jumping In the misty morning fog with Our hearts a thumpin' and you My cross-eyed mare, You're my cross-eyed mare.
Whatever happened To Tuesday and so slow Going down the timeline With the TARDIS, got places to show you Standing in the sunlight laughing, Hiding behind a rainbow's wall, Stumbling and sliding All along the waterfall, with you My cross-eyed mare, You're my cross-eyed mare.
Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da Just like that Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da, la te da
So hard to find our way, Now that Equestria’s gone. Were humans just the other day, But you’re not alone, Still remember I was a Timelord Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout Cuddling in the green grass In the Ponyville Park with you My cross-eyed mare You're my cross-eyed mare
Do you remember when we used to sing Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da (lying in the green grass) Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da (bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit) Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da (sha la la la la la...) Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da.
“Oh Doctor.” I shouted, running up to him as soon as the song ended and the rest of the lights turned back on.
“You look lovely tonight.” The Doctor said softly, pulling me into a tight hug to give me a deep kiss.
“Ahem…” We looked up at Steven who had cleared his throat, obviously to get our attention. “If you two are done snogging, dinner is served.” He pointed at a table and two pony friendly chairs that were being wheeled in and a tray carrying a romantic spaghetti dinner for two.
“Thanks again Steven,” Doctor Whooves said as he walked me over to the table and pulled my chair out for me. I sat down and gave him a smile while the Doctor sat down himself.
Steven nodded. “No problem. It’s my Job to make sure you and your current companion are happy and have anything you may need to fix, stop, make happen or whatever it is you’re here to do.”
“Well it was still nice of you,” I said as he brought over a weird device that looked like something from the War Amps. “What’s that?” I asked pointing to the thing in his hand.
“Well, you see, though it is possible for ponies to hold some things in their hooves it usually takes them a while to relearn that ability, so we developed these to help Earth Ponies and Pegasi hold things such as forks,” Steven explained showing me how it worked.
“Hahahah!” The Doctor raised his head in laughter. “It’s funny. When I first arrived in Equestria you taught me how to hold things with hooves and now I can teach you.” He said picking up a fork with his hoof, while Steven helped me strap the device to my hoof and putting a fork on it.
It was a bit awkward eating with the device but it definitely made it easier than eating with hooves. As we ate our dinner I came across one noodle that just didn’t want to break. I kept chewing and chewing, taking in more and more of the noodle until… I know it sounds incredibly cliché, but the Doctor’s lips connected with mine just like in Lady and the Tramp. We both laughed lightly at what happened before going back to eating. I couldn't completely fight the blush off my face, and glancing at the Doctor I could have sworn that his face had a hint of red on it, too.
After dinner Steven led us to a private screening room where a couch and a few blankets were waiting for us. We both got comfortable on the couch pulling a few of the blankets over us as the movie 50 First Dates started playing.
After our little Date Night, Derpys mood had improved dramatically. Over the past few days her flying skills had really improved, not just from when she started her flying lessons but also from when we were in Equestria. Work on the TARDIS was moving along a lot faster as well and it wouldn't be too long till all the repairs were finished. Once that is done, assuming Discord sending everypony here isn't a fixed event, we can go back to Equestria before all this happened and warn Celestia.
“Doctor?!” James Harkness said walking into the TARDIS.
“Yes.” I said looking up from a console.
“Well I thought you might want to know this.” He said walking up to me, holding a small stack of paper. “Back in May 1995 when the TARDIS crashed in Scotland it opened a rift in time and space. We’ve been monitoring it for the past 25 years and so far it seemed that the TARDIS was the only thing that had ever came through. However based on the fact that’s also when Discord started sending ponies here to earth I believe that Discord used it to send them here.” The ex-time agent explained handing me the stack of papers.
“Yes that’s what I came up with as well.” I said tapping my chin with a hoof.
“That’s not all.” James continued. “Though it could just be because of how it opened, the rift seems different than the others we’ve encountered and we’ve been unable to close it.”
“Ah, that’s because it’s not just a rift in time and space, but a rift in temporal dimensional space.” I explained.
“Temporal dimensional space?” He asked confused.
“Yes, temporal dimensional space. You see the Timeline Equestria is in is completely separate from this one. Back on Gallifrey it was only a theory that worlds separate from our own that aren't even connected by the big bang could exist. You see unlike the dimension that Rose got trapped in, which is just a world where every other decision was the opposite of the ones we made and is technically connected by the big bang, Equestria was created by a different big bang and is thus not connected to our world in any way. Apart from the rift of course.” I expanded, but it seemed to make him a little more confused. “Anyway, I know this may sound strange and goes against everything I stand for but do you think you guys could find a way to make that rift bigger?”
“Bigger? Possibly, but why?” He asked.
“Well.” I said stretching a bit. “In the event that Discord sending us all here is a fix event then we are going to need a way to get all the ponies back to Equestria and there are too many to take them all back in the TARDIS. So if you make it bigger then you should be able to find away to get everypony through it before shit hits the fan with the governments.” I explained looking over the papers.
“Hey, Doctor.” Steven said walking down the stairs. “We’ve finished repairing all the main functions. All that’s left is the chameleon circuit, not sure if you want that repaired or not.”
“Um, no leave that, I like the whole police box thing.” I said looking out the door to see Derpy flying over with a baskets of muffins.
“Hey Doctor, hey Steven.” She said landing and putting the basket down on the console. “I thought you guys might enjoy taking a muffin break.” She said picking one up with her hoof.
“Hey, you learned to pick stuff up!” I said watching her eat the muffin.
“Yep. It’s like Unicorn magic, you just concentrate on the goal not the task.” She said handing me one.
“Anyway,” Steven said taking a muffin from the basket. “We're almost done, just a few minor repairs here and there and she'll be ready to travel through Time and Space again.”
“Awesome.” Derpy said flapping her wings a little.
“We should be able to finish the last of the repairs today and be ready to leave by tomorrow.” I said looking at a display screen that listed all the damages.
“Is there anything you would like us to get you guys from your houses before you leave?” Steven asked taking another muffin.
“Well I can think of one thing.” Derpy said with a small smile and laugh.
“Derpy!” I said glaring at her.
“What? Two years ago we both made a list of stuff we would bring with us if we ever went to Equestria and it was on your list as well. Besides, A) it’s been legal here for the past 5 years and B) its good for my crossed eyes.” She said with pleading eyes.
“Oh, alright.” I said rolling my eyes as I ate another muffin.
“Yay!” Derpy said turning to face Steven. “If you go into my room on the top floor, in the drawer of my night stand you will find a small carton of fags with joints in it and a bag of weed. If you could bring them that would be great.”
“Can do.” Steven said before we went back to getting the last of the jobs done.
“Ok, final check; Food and water?” I said as Derpy flew over to the food stores.
“Check.” She said flying back.
“Spare parts?”
“Check.”
“Weed?”
“Double Check.”
“Torchwood knowing what to do if we can’t change Discord sending everypony here?”
“Check.” James said from the door.
“That’s everything than.” I said putting down the checklist.
“This is it. Good luck Doctor.” He said extending his hand.
“You too.” I said putting my hoof in his hand and shacking it, before he stepped out, closing the door behind him. “Alright, TARDIS, this is it. If you can get us back to Equestria then we can stop Discord.” I said, as it started up and began to take off.
“God speed.” Steven said as he and the rest of the members of Torchwood watched the TARDIS dissolve. “God speed.”
“We're here.” Derpy said as the TARDIS stopped making its wow noise.
“Good now we can- what the?” I said as I stepped out of the TARDIS to see that we were at the edge of a forest on what appeared to be a horse farm. “This isn't Equestria! Derpy what do the controls say?”
“They say we're in Iowa, May 23, 2020.” Derpy said.
“Why did the TARDIS bring us here?” I asked heading back inside.
“Hey wasn't that giant Rainbow explosion three days ago from right now?” She said as she stuck her head out to look around.
“Hey yeah.” I said remembering hearing about it on the news. “And I think I heard somepony mention how it was a Sonic Rainboom. Maybe the TARDIS brought us here to pick up the Elements of Harmony!”
“Steven told me that some of the ponies back at Torchwood were contacted by Luna and told about a farm in Iowa that was a safe haven for ponies, maybe this is it!” Derpy said flying over to me.
“Well it’s worth a shot.” I said before we both exited the TARDIS and made our way to the farm house.
As we approached the main part of the farm we began to see more and more ponies each of them welcoming us to the farm, so we knew we were in the right place.
“I hope they make it.” I heard somepony with a deep voice say in a southern accent.
“Don’t worry I’m sure they’ll do all right.” Another voice said. “And if they do get caught they’ll call us and Twilight can always do that energy bomb thing.”
“So she remembers how to do that huh?” A tall purple and green dragon said as I came around the corner to see Big Mac, Shining Armor and a teen aged Spike sitting on the porch of the farm house, not noticing Derpy was no longer with me.
“Ya, blow up half our living room in the process... and a book store.” Shining Armor said as he spotted me walking up to the house. “Welcome to the farm, the last safe place for ponies. You arrived just in time actually. In a few hours we will be making the journey back to Equestria.
“So what’s your name?” Spike asked.
“I’m The Doctor.” I said introducing myself.
“Doctor Who?” Shining asked.
“Whooves actual.” I said as I just noticed Derpy was no longer with me. “Or just the Doctor.”
“Wait. You mean you're Thee Doctor. As in The Doctor from Doctor Who! Meaning the Fancon of Time Turner being The Doctor is true!” Spike asked surprised.
“Yes to the first, yes to the second and Timer Turner was just an alias.” I said as I looked around for Derpy.
“Wow!” The teen aged dragon said excitedly. “Wait that means Doctor Who is real, but how?”
“Well, it’s all a bunch wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. Now where did Derpy run off to?” I said as I turned around.
“Wait, how did you get here?” Shining asked.
“The TARDIS of course. Helped jump start my regeneration giving me all my memories back and gave me back my pony form. Torchwood did a good job keeping it safe for me these past twenty five years, though she still goes where I’m need and not where I want to go. We were actually trying to get back to Equestria to stop Discord when we arrived here.”
“Wait Torchwood’s real too?!” Spike said astonished. “Wait that means you were in England, and there are even more ponies around the world!”
“That’s not the worst of it. In about six months’ time the British parliament will start secretly kidnapping and experimenting on ponies under the crowns nose.”
“That’s awful!” Shining said a little angry.
“Wait six months?” Big Mac said a little confused.
“Oh did I forget to mention that Derpy and I don’t turn back into ponies until November?” I asked looking at them.
“That’s a long time for the curse to wear off. Most ponies turned back on their birthday this year.” Shining said.
“Not really. Derpy and I were both born in November because we were in the time stream when Discords spell took effect.”
Shining looked like he was going to ask something else but was interrupted by a light pink unicorn filly with a blond mane.
“Daddy!” The filly yelled running up to me and hugging my leg, Derpy flying behind her. “I’ve missed you so much!”
“Dinky! I’ve missed you too.” I said as I wrapped my other leg around her in a hug.
“The Family’s back together again.” Derpy said as she joined the hug.
“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but how do you remember I’m your dad?” I asked as we broke up the hug.
“Well, Sweetie Belle of the CMC managed to use a spell to give her friends back their memories of their lives in Equestria and they were trying to do it again while they were here and managed to give a few of us back our memories.”
“Where are the CMC now?” Shining Armor asked, interrupting our family moment when he realized that he hadn’t seen them since the mane six left.
“I think they said something about following Rainbow Dash and her friends.” Dinky said turning to face the older unicorn.
“Of cause they did.” Shining said face hoofing.
“Where are they going anyway?” I asked.
“The girls are on their way to Dubuque in order to see if the portal from Equestria Girls is still there.” Big Mac explained.
“Don't worry it is. While I was at Torchwood I read a report about a rift in that area that opens and closes on its own every two and a half years.”
“Well it’s good to hear that there is at least a rift there.” Shining said happily before frowning. “But if you're from the future that means we either fail or not every pony maked it back to Equestria.”
“Oh don’t worry about that. Before I left, I ask the good folks at Torchwood to find a way to widen the rift that was made by the TARDIS when it crashed landed in Scotland 25 years ago. If they succeed then they should be able to get every pony back through it.” I explained. “So is it too late to sign up to help kick Discords’ ass?”
“Sure, we need all the help we can get and a Time Lord would definitely make things easier.” The white Unicorn said eagerly. “But I fear the few hundred ponies we have here won't be enough to take down Discord. We need a bigger army.”
“I think I can help with that! I can use the TARDIS to go do a thing.” I said coming up with a plan to get more ponies.
“What thing?” Big Mac asked.
“I don’t know yet. It’s a thing in progress. Respect the thing! I'll meet you by the rift back to Equestria before you go through.” I said before I lead my family back to the TARDIS.
“God speed.” Steven said as he and the rest of the members of Torchwood watched it dissolve. “God speed.” Once the TARDIS fully dissolved every one turned to exit the room when all of a sudden it started to materialize in another corner of the room. “What the?”
“Ah, good you’re all still here.” I said stepping out of the TARDIS.
“Doctor your back already! Did you beat Discord?” Steven asked.
“Not yet, the TARDIS took us to a farm in Iowa where we met the siblings of the elements of harmony. Also reunited with my daughter, she’s really cute, she’s in the TARDIS if you want to meet her. Anyway they need a bigger army to fight Discord so we are here to do a thing.”
“Well if you need an army I’m sure the ponies here would join you in a heartbeat.” James said, the other members of Torchwood agreeing.
“That's a brilliant idea, wish I thought of it.” I said as Derpy and Dinky exited the TARDIS. “Oh! I just had an Idea! While some of you guys round up volunteers to fight Discord, you can go to Larkhill and free all the ponies there. Take this psychic paper, you can use it to order the release of all the ponies there.” I said handing him my ID wallet that had the psychic paper to James.
“Can do.” Captain James Harkness said before everyone left to get as many ponies willing to fight discord as possible.
Two hours later James arrived back at Torchwood with over fifty ponies, the majority of which were badly injured, or had missing limbs and where now receiving much needed medical attention. A small group of about 30 ponies stood in front of me as I walked up to a small podium in front of the TARDIS.
“Good day everypony. As you all probably know I’m The Doctor. Now as the nice people here at Torchwood probably told you I’m here to gather as many ponies as I can to help fight Discord and get us back to Equestria. You have all already volunteered so I guess you all know what you’re getting into. So if you could all get into the TARDIS then we can move on to our next stop.” I said before stepping down and walking over to my wife and daughter. “Did you enjoy your tour of the facility?” I asked looking down at Dinky.
“Yes I did daddy. The people here are so nice.” Dinky said happily.
“That’s good. But now it’s time to move on to our next stop so we have to get back in the TARDIS.” I said as we walked towards it.
The TARDIS materialized in front of a small white house just outside Quebec City. As I stepped out of the TARDIS I pulled out my Timey-Wimey Detector from a saddle bag I got at Torchwood, and it started to ding when I pointed it at the house. I then put it away as Derpy and I began walking up to the front door.
“I don’t think this is going to work.” Derpy said as I knocked on the door.
“Don’t worry it will.” I said before the door opened.
“Can I help you?” A women in her early forty’s asked answering the door.
“Yes. Good evening mam, I’m Time Turner and this is Ditsy Doo. We’re with the CSIS.” I said showing her the psychic paper. “We understand that you’re son and or daughter was turned into a pony.”
“Yes come in, sh- he’s up stairs.” She said moving aside for us to come in.
“Thank you.” I said as we walked into the house.
“Sar- I mean, Night Glade, there are some ponies here to see you.” She called.
“We’ll see ourselves up.” Derpy said as I began walking up stairs pulling out my Timey-Wimey Detector.
“There you are.” I said as I opened the door to a small bedroom to revel a dark blue Unicorn with a hammer and anvil Cutie Mark laying on a bed depressed.
“Who are you?” Night Glade asked as Derpy entered the room behind me.
“I’m The Doctor. I tracked you down with this.” I said showing him the Timey-Wimey Detector. “This is my Timey-Wimey Detector. It goes ding when there’s stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at thirty paces, whether you want it to or not actually, so I’ve learned to stay away from hens. It’s not pretty when they blow.”
“What do you want?” He asked sitting up a bit.
“We’re gathering an army to confront Discord and save Equestria.” Derpy explained.
“Get back at the one responsible for ruining my life? Count me in.” Night Glade said getting off the bed.
“Good, meet me down stairs in… four minutes.” I said looking at a clock in the room. “We have to leave without the real CSIS seeing you. And they should be arriving any second. Now if you excuse me.” I said exiting the room and headed back down stairs. “Excuse me ma'am, but could I have a quick word with you.” I said as I walked into the living room where Night Glade’s mom was sitting on the couch.
“Ok. What about?” She asked looking down at me.
“Well you see, there have been people going around impersonating CSIS agents and kidnapping people who have turned into ponies in order to experiment on them and do other horrific things to them.” I said taking a seat across from her.
“That’s horrible!” She said shocked.
“Indeed. And unfortunately we think that some of them may be on their way here right now. That’s why I think it best that we move your son to a safe location until these impostors are caught and–” I was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Open up! CSIS!” A man said from the other side of the door.
“Oh god they’re here.” I said turning to face the door as Derpy and Night Glade came down the stairs. “Quick, does this place have a back door?” I asked looking at her.
“Yes, in the Kitchen. Sar- I mean Night Glade go with them, you’ll be safe.” Night Glade’s mom said.
“What about you?” Night Glade asked.
“I’ll be alright, just go. I’ll distract them.” She said as she walked to the front door and we walked into the kitchen.
“Your mom’s a very kind person.” Derpy said as we sneaked out the back door.
“Thanks. I hope she’ll be alright.” Night glade said as we started to make our way around the house.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine. Though there is a chance she will be arrested for lying to a federal agent.” I said as I peered around the corner to see the CSIS agents walk into the house. “Come on the TARDIS is over here.” I said leading him over to the police box.
“The guy has a Time Machine and he’s late.” Shining Armor said as he looked around at the few hundred ponies that were standing outside the building that the portal to Equestria was in.
“Calm down I’m sure he’ll be here before we go in.” A pony that looked like Daring Doo reassured him.
Suddenly the air was filled with a strange sound as the TARDIS materialized a few feet from them.
“Sorry I’m late. Had to pick up a couple things.” The Doctor said as we stepped of the TARDIS followed by a few hundred ponies. “Now I’ll be right back.” he said once every one was out before going back into the TARDIS. It then disappeared before reappearing in a different spot and more ponies got out.
He did this four or five more times each time retuning with more ponies until there was well over a thousand ponies. After the fifth time however instead of ponies a swarm of changelings came out.
“Wait are those?” Chrysalis asked walking up to one.
“Your eggs? Ya.” The Doctor said exiting the TARDIS. “Helped me stop some Zygons in 2023 actually, kind of a cool story, tell you it later, right know we need to go and kick Discords butt.”
“Yeah let’s take him down!” I said excitedly.
“Wait Derpy.” The Doctor said pulling me to the side. “I want you to take Dinky and the TARDIS back to Torchwood.”
“Why?” I asked confused.
“We have just gotten back together as a family and I don't want to lose you again.” He said looking me in the eye with a pleading look. "The last time I summoned an army and went to war I lost the child. I promised myself that would never happen again." The Doctor then sighed before continuing. “Look I scanned the rift that the TARDIS made with my sonic screwdriver. It’s going to take 6 months for it to finish calculating everything about it so I buried it in a box directly under the spot where the TARDIS will be when we first arrived at Torchwood. I need you to dig it up and give them that information so they can widen the rift enough for the rest of the ponies to go through.”
“Alright.” I said with a sigh as we walked into the TARDIS.
“Thank you.” he said as he set the controls to take me back to Torchwood. “There, the controls are all set. All you have to do is push this button.” He said as Dinky walked up to us.
“What’s going on?” She asked sleepily.
“You and Mommy are going on a little trip back to Torchwood. Well Daddy does his job. Do you think you can be a good girl for Mommy?” He asked crouching down.
“Ok.” She said with a big yawn.
“Good girl. Now go get some sleep.” The Doctor said rubbing her head before she ran off.
“Be safe.” I said worriedly.
“I will.” He then gave me a goodbye kiss before he walked out of the TARDIS and closed the doors behind him.
Once he was gone I pressed the button and the TARDIS began to take off. Once we arrived at Torchwood I put my sleeping daughter onto my back and walked out of the TARDIS. Once I did however it began to take off on its own.
“Doctor.” I said a little annoyed that he set the TARDIS to leave once we were out of it so we couldn't just use it to get back.
“He stranded you somewhere safe huh?” A voice said from behind me.
“Huh? Oh hey Steven.” I said turning to see who it was. “Yeah but he did give me a job to do while I’m here. He said he buried his sonic screwdriver under the floor here and that it has information on it that can be used to widen the rift left by the TARDIS.”
“That’s great. I’ll get a team to start digging it up right away. In the meantime why don’t we get you and your daughter a room? You look tired” He said leading us towards the sleeping quarters.
Shortly after the TARDIS returned from dropping Derpy off at Torchwood it was finally time to go through the portal and kick some Draconequus ass. I checked to make sure I had my sonic screwdriver, which I retrieved from Torchwood before picking up the changelings. I then used the TARDIS to save time getting to Equestria. I arrived outside the ruins of Cantorlot just as a young purple alicorn was trying to use her magic to open a window.
“Come on open!” Twilight said as the window refused to open.
“Here. Let me help you with that.” I said taking out my sonic screwdriver.
“Who are you?” she asked turning to face me.
“I’m The Doctor.” I said introducing myself. “Just The Doctor or Doctor Whooves but that’s not important.” I said knowing what she was about to say. “Now if you stand aside I should be able to use my sonic screwdriver to get rid of the security spell on this window.”
“Wait if you’re the Doctor then your sonic screwdriver shouldn’t work on wood.” Twilight said as I waved it around the window.
“Normally you would be right but I’m not using it on the frame but the energy around it. There, now try.” I said as I put it away.
Once again Twilight fired up her horn to open the window and this time it opened without incident.
“Hey it worked! Thanks.” She said hopping through the open window. I quickly followed her in, just in case she need my help with something else. “Dame it, all the doors are locked.” She said as she tried to open one of the doors to the archives.
“I got it.” I said as I used my sonic screwdriver on all the doors, unlocking them for her.
“Thanks again. But you should get back to the others. They will probably need you to help them fight back Discords army.” Twilight said before rushing into the library.
I then exited the way I came and got back into the TARDIS and used it as a shortcut to Carousel Boutique where Shining Armor was leading the fight against Discord’s army of flying serpents, beasts from the Everfree and a few changelings.
“Bout time you showed up.” Shining Armor said as I stepped out of the TARDIS. “Any chance you could call for some of your alien friends, like the Silence or The Shadow Proclamation to come and help.” He asked as he handed a sword to a pony that was waiting in line to get one.
“Sorry but they don't exist in this worlds timeline and I would rather not disrupt the timeline more than Discord already has.” I said as we heard a bunch of ponies scream. "But don't worry, Demons run when a good man goes to war." I said as an energy beam hit a nearby building. “Oh Man! Looks like Discord still has some Daleks from when he sent me and Derpy to earth.” I said looking up at the sky to see five of them flying above the battlefield and ten of them on the ground.
“It’s a good guess he knows you're here.” He said as I took out my sonic screwdriver pointing it at the closest Dalek casing it to fall to the ground where it exploded.
“They seem to be a slightly primitive version though.” I said taking out another one. “Probably from before the time war and there doesn’t seem to be too many of them.”
“That’s good. But I think the only way we are going to be able to win is with the elements but who knows what Discord did with them.” Shining said as the last of the flying Daleks were destroyed and only five of the ground ones were left.
“I think our best bet is for me to use the TARDIS to go back in time before Discord took over Equestria and grab them before he does.” I said taking out the last Dalek.
“We want to go with you.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders said from behind us.
“We’re only gonna to get in the way here, so we might as we make ourselves useful by helpin get the elements back.” Applebloom said with pleading eyes.
“What do you think Doctor?” Shining asked looking between them and me.
“Alright, but don’t touch anything well in the past except the elements. Ok?” I asked seriously.
“Alright.” They said before racing into the TARDIS.
“Mind if I tag along?” Daring Doo asked. “Finding lost artifacts is supposed to be my special talent after all.”
“Good point. Get in.” I said looking her over.
“Uh oh. My danger sense is tingling.” Shining said looking at the castle in the distance. “Twilight’s in trouble! Big Mac!” He called to his friend.
“Right!” The big red stallion said putting his hoof on Shining’s shoulder and they teleported away and I hopped into the TARDIS and left to get the Elements.
Once the TARDIS stopped I looked outside to see we were in the basement of The Golden Oaks Library.
“Ok.” I said to the Crusaders as we exited the TARDIS. “We have arrived on the day Twilight left for Canterlot and Princess Celestia goes with Discord to that volcano. Now we just need to find the elements and get out of here.”
“But they could be anywhere.” Sweetie Belle said looking in some of the drawers.
“Hey come up here!” Babs said quietly from the top of the stairs.
As we ascended the stairs we began to hear voices coming from the other side of the door.
“Alright Spike, I'll only be gone for the weekend but just in case I have removed the elements from the tree of harmony and have hidden them in the safe in the basement.” The voice of Twilight said. “I don’t know why but I can’t shake this feeling like something bad is going to happen.”
“Don’t worry Twilight I’m sure it’s nothing.” Spike’s voice said. “Discord has been reformed and Princess Celestia can take care of herself. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I guess you're right Spike. See you in a few days.” She said before there was the sound of a door closing.
“Alright.” I said backing away from the door. “All we got to do is find that safe.”
“Hey I think I found it!” Scootaloo said moving aside a painting of Starswirl the Bearded to reveal a set of three combination locks.
“Good work. Now I’ll just do this.” I said waving my sonic screwdriver in front of it. “And the safe should… open.” I said looking into the large room that opened up.
“Aw man we’ll never fin’ ‘em in there.” Applebloom said looking into it and seeing that there was a set of stairs in the back meaning there was more than one level to the safe.
“Never say never.” Daring Doo said. “The Doctor can set his sonic screwdriver to scan for the highest energy signature which should be the elements and we can just follow their signal. Right?”
“Good idea” I said setting it to scan.
We then followed the signal down into the lowest level of the safe until we came across a large door.
“The Elements should be just on the other side of this door.” I said as I set the sonic screwdriver to unlock and used it to open the door. “Well this is interesting.” I said as we walked into the room to see that there were six glass cases each holding a set of elements.
“Which ones are the real ones?” Sweetie Belle asked looking at them.
“I don’t know they are all giving off the same energy signature.” I said scanning each of the cases.
“Well it ain't this one. The colorin’s all wrong.” Apple Bloom said look at one of the cases.
“Or this one. They're not the right shape.” Sweetie Belle said.
“These ones are too small.” Scootaloo said.
“These ones are definitely too big.” Babs said.
“Ok that just levels these two.” I said looking at the last two cases.
“But they look the same.” Sweetie Belle said looking at them.
“There’s got to be a way to find out which is the real ones.” Scootaloo said.
“I got it!” I said scanning them again. "Even though they are giving out the same energy readings, the necklaces and tiara the real elements are set into would be older.” I said as I finished scanning. “And according to this, these one are the real ones.” I said opening one of the cases.
“Are you sure?” Applebloom asked.
“Positive. Look the element of laughter even has some bite marks on it from when Pinkie bit it. Most likely thinking there was chocolate inside.” Daring said grabbing the rest of them.
“Good enough for me. Let’s go!” Babs said as we began our trek out of the safe.
“Ok now I'll just close this up so no pony will know we were here.” I said using the sonic screwdriver to close the safe door once everyone was out. “Ok now we can-” I began to say when I heard a evil laugh from upstairs.
“What was that?” The CMC asked in unison.
“That would be Discord here for the elements. Which means in about three minutes I’m about to get back from my trip with Derpy to the resort planet of Dalmare. So unless we wish to get caught or cause a paradox I suggest we get back in the TARDIS and get out of here.” I said ushering them into them back into the TARDIS.
By the time we got back Discord had joined the battle and things weren't looking good for our forces. Sambra and Chrysalis had taken over in Shining Armors stead and were managing to keep Discords troops at bay but it didn’t help when Discord kept turning their troops into farm animals.
“Good you're back and you got the elements!” Sambra said happily.
“Yep. Where are Twilight and the others so we can take this guy down?” I asked looking around.
“That’s the thing no one has seen them since they left for Canterlot Castle.” Chrysalis said.
“Dame. Well it looks you girls are going to have to use them.” I said looking at the crusaders.
“US!” They said in unison.
“As the relatives of the elements you four are the best candidates to use the elements.” I explained.
“I guess that makes sense.” Applebloom said.
“Who gets what element?” Babs asked.
“OK let’s see.” I said looking at the elements. “Um how about, Applebloom, Honesty, Sweetie Belle Magic, Babs, Laughter and Scootaloo, Generosity.” I said handing them each element.
“Ok but that still leaves Loyalty and Kindness.” Sweetie Belle said looking at the two remaining elements.
“Uh, A.K. Yearling, Daring Doo or whatever your name is. You were pretty loyal to your readers right?” I asked looking at her.
“I guess.” She said looking up.
“Then congratulations you’re the new Rainbow Dash.” I said handing her the element of Loyalty.
“We still need one more pony though.” Scootaloo said seeing Discord beginning to move towards the castle.
Suddenly there was a blinding flash as Derpy appeared in front of us.
“Hey Doctor. Wow. You were right, time travel without a capsule, not fun.” She said shaking her head to clear it from the time and space jump.
“Derpy how did you get here?” I asked looking at her.
“With this.” She said holding up her hoof to show she was wearing a Vortex Manipulator.
“Where did you get a Vortex Manipulator?!” I asked stunned that there was a functioning one in 2020.
“After your sonic screwdriver was dug up, the nice people at Torchwood gave it to me so I could come and help you." she explained.
“How did they- No wait now I remember. There was one in the TARDIS when we got sent to earth. They must have recovered it after the TARDIS crashed.” I said remembering that I still had James Harkness's from when I first arrived in Equestria and had been meaning to deactivate it but kept putting it off. “Anyway, it’s actually a good thing you’re here. You are the sweetest, kindest pony I know.”
“Thanks but how does that help the situation?” She asked noticing everything that was going on.
“Because you can use the Element of Kindness!” I said putting it around her neck.
“Are you sure these will work with just any pony that displays the required attribute?” She asked looking at the elements.
“Hey it works in the Fanfics. And according to the ponies at Torchwood about 40% of them are true.” I said shrugging.
“Well it’s worth a shot.” Daring Doo said.
“Alright, let’s do this.” I said turning to wear Discord was currently turning some dragons into geckos. “HEY DISCORD! GUESS WHO'S BACK?!” I shouted at the Draconequus getting his attention.
“You!” Discord seethed looking at me before teleporting over.
“That’s right Discord, this planet's protected and lookie what I found!” I said pointing to the elements.
“The Elements!? But I hid them in the center of earth’s sun! Even with your TARDIS you shouldn't have been able to get them!” He said outraged.
“The ones you hid where fakes created by Twilight to keep anyone from stealing the real one. I went back in time and swiped these before you got to them.” I explained
“Whatever. I have already dealt with the bearers of the elements so it’s not like they'll do you any good.” He said scoffing.
“We'll see.” I said moving out of the way so CMC, Derpy and Daring Doo could use the elements.
At first nothing happened but as Discord stepped forward to unleash his own attack the elements activated and the six ponies glowed bright and raised up into the air around Discord. A moment later there’s a blinding flash and a rainbow beam shot out to wrap itself around Discord, who screamed out. As he was covered in the rainbow light, all of the troops that had been changed by Discord, began to revert back to their pony, changeling and dragon forms.
“The Elements of Harmony?!” I heard a voice say from behind him.
“Huh?” I said turning to see who was speaking.
“Who just used them?” Twilight asked as she and her friends came into view.
“Who found them?” Shining gasped.
“So... is the war over then?” Pinkie asked looking at her friends, then over at the fading rainbow blast.
The CMC, Daring Doo and Derpy all floated back to the ground, and they all start to cheer. I looked at smoking crater where Discord was, and took a few steps towards it pulling out my sonic screwdriver.
“Girls, I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.” Rainbow Dash said also looking at the crater.
“...Applebloom? Is that you?” Applejack asked as she and her friends came over to see who had used the elements.
“How did you guys... and where did you guys find...?” Rainbow Dash asked a little confused.
“It was a group effort,” Daring Doo remarked as she trotted over to her. “Sorry for using it without you, I know it’s yours.” She said blushing as she points at the Element on her neck.
“Hey, no problem, I’m honestly glad that you used it. I had my hooves tied with other things. As long as they got used, I don’t care who used them.” Rainbow said glancing over at the still-smouldering crater where Discord was standing when he got hit.
“We used them all right! You should have seen us!” Daring remarked proudly.
“Yeah, right, totally. Excuse me for a moment.” She said walking over to the crater where Shining and Twilight were staring into the thick smoke.
“Ya, you girls might want to back up.” I said returning to where the CMC, Daring Doo and Derpy where standing.
“Why? We just used the elements on him. He’s lost.” Scootaloo said triumphantly.
“You know in video games when you think you’ve beaten the final boss, then he comes back twice as strong?” I asked looking down at her.
“Yeah-Ooooh!” She said as she looked over at the crater as Twilight’s horn glowed and the smoke started to clear.
“Wait, who’s clapping?” Rainbow Dash asked as a slow clap began to fill the air. “Oh... fuck.” She said when it hit her.
“My my my, you ponies are full of surprises today.” Discord’s voice came from the crater.
A moment later the smokes clears enough to show him standing there, giving us a one man applause. He didn’t even have a scratch on him.
“That’s impossible! The Elements! You got a direct hit!” Sweetie Belle yelled running forward.
“Oh? Well, my oh my, you must of got a defective set of Elements. Can you still take them back and get a refund? Maybe store credit?” Discord said casually inspecting the nails on his claw.
“The Elements probably got weakened after decades of being abandoned. But still, they should have at least hurt him, even if it wasn’t enough to outright kill him.” Twilight rubbed her chin as she muses quietly.
“No! We beat you! It’s over!” Sweetie started ragging.
“Sorry to disappoint, but you failed again. You always fail, and you always will. You can’t win.” Discord laughed yet again.
“Just bucking die already!” The unicorn filly screamed, magically hurling a sword at him.
Discord held out his eagle claw to block the sword, but Sweetie’s aim ended up better than expected as the sword sliced right through his claw, severing off two of his talons in the process. Discord’s eyes went wide, and he spit out an expletive I didn’t recognize. The bloodied sword clattered to the ground next to him.
“Gah! What the hell, that actually hurt!” Discord winced holding his bloodied claw
Everyone share a sideways glance as we looked at Discord as blood drip down his arm.
“Discord, are you... mortal?” Shining asked as he stepped forward.
“W-what?” Discord stammered as some of the blood drained from his face. “No! I'm always immortal! I’m a god!” He looked down at his bleeding hand and we all stared. It was obvious he wasn't regenerating like before.
“Looks like the Elements weren't entirely useless after all, they stripped your immortality. Ready to surrender now, Discord?” Twilight said giving a low whistle, before getting into a fighting stance.
“I’m far from finished, and I still have more power in one limb than any of you could dream of.” He said angrily glaring at her and sneers.
“So be it. Ponies, battle formation!” Shining cried out and all the ponies in the area formed ranks behind him ready to attack.
“I could fight you, but I’m not stupid enough to risk my life if I don’t have to. Be gone.” Discord said with a roll of his eyes before snapping his fingers and there’s a flash of light.
The next thing we knew we knew we found ourselves on the other side of the battlefield miles away from Discord and the mane six.
“What just happened?” Applebloom asked.
“It looks like Discord teleported us away well he battles Twilight and her friends alone.” I said turning to face her. “Not to worry though. Derpy can take us all back with her Vortex Manipulator!” I said looking at the love of my lives.
“Sorry Doctor but it looks like this thing’s fried.” She said lifting up her hoof to show that the Vortex Manipulator was smoking slightly. “I think Discord somehow used it to amplify his power.”
“Dame it. It looks like we’ll be walking back.” I said with a sigh.
“Wait can’t you just use your key to call the TARDIS and use that to get us back?” A dark blue Pegasus, which I recognised as one of the ponies that was working for Torchwood, asked.
“Sorry I didn’t think I would be needing it so I left back on the TARDIS.” I said sheepishly.
Suddenly the ground began to shake and in the distance we could see Discord had took on the form of his .MOV counterpart.
“That’s not good!” Derpy said as we watched him pick something up from the ground before throwing it and a rainbow streak crashed into a far off hill.
“Alright! That’s it, let’s do this! LEEEEEEROOOOOY JENKINS!!!!!!!!” A random pony who actually looked like a ponified version of Leeroy yelled before running towards Discord.
“Oh my god he just ran towards him!” I heard somepony say before we all started to run after him.
As we were running to help in the fight we spotted what was left of Discords army doing the same.
“Uh, oh. They're not going to be able to handle Discord and his army on their own.” Daring Doo said as the army slowly got closer.
“If anyone can take down Discord It’s those eight. Once Discord’s gone his army should go into full retreat. We just need to buy them more time.” Sombra said.
“All troops move to engage the enemy forces. Stop them at all costs, we can't allow them to reach the others.” Chrysalis shouted as the group turned to engage the enemy troops.
The First enemy we engaged were rogue changelings that began to fire blast after blast of green magic at us. As we engaged the rest of Discords army a stray bolt of changeling magic hit Chrysalis right in the face.
“AH!” She screamed falling to the ground. “Why you little you’ll pay for that!” The changeling Queen shouted getting back up. But as she turned to engage the rouge changeling she saw that they were all standing still like a Borg drone waiting for orders. “Huh?”
“I think that blast toned your hive mind to their frequency.” I said scanning it with my sonic screwdriver.
“Awesome. That makes things a lot easier.” Chrysalis said giving the order for all changelings to engage all enemy troops.
After about half an hour of fighting back Discords troops, there was a loud bang and we all turned to see a rainbow streak slam into Discords face and the ground shock as he fell to the ground.
“Discord’s down all troops move to engage him.” Sombra shouted as the last of Discords troops fled. “Shining Armor, sir, all enemy troops are in full retreat and Chrysalis has gained control over all changelings.” He said as we arrived at the scene.
“Yesh.” I said as I looked into the crater to see the bloody mess that was Discord. “Should we put him out of his misery?”
“No we have a better plan for him.” Twilight said looking down at him.
“Discord, by the order of all Equestrians, you have been sentenced with treason of the highest order, crimes against all humanity, and crimes against all ponykind. You have been found guilty and will now be sentenced in a manner fit for your crime. Do you have any last words?” Twilight asked as Discord groaned, his crumpled body lying on top of a flat stone in the center of the clearing.
"Not to mention being in violation of Articles 57, 58 and Clause 374 of the Shadow Proclamation." I thought to myself, watching the trial.
The rest of the mane six as well as Shining Armour and Big Mac stood guard around him, as Twilight finished reading his sentencing out to the crowd of tens of thousands that formed around them.
“So it’s decided then?” Rainbow Dash asked. “And are we all sure on sentencing him to that many years?”
“If you combine all the years of everyone’s lives that he ruined, it’s the right amount.” Shining said waving a hoof at the crowd.
“Let’s administer our justice.” Twilight said clearing her throat. “The only fair punishment is to make him suffer through the same type of curse we did.”
“We really have the power to use the curse on him?” Big Mac solemnly asked
“Yes. The strain of casting such a curse is too great for any one pony to handle, but if all eight of us do it together I'm confident it will work.” She confirmed.
They then turned to face the prisoner with their heads held high. Twilight lifted her hoof and the crowd went dead silent as she cleared her throat to start the incantation. It was similar to the one Discord used on us but sentencing to live on earth as a horse for a hundred million years. The ground around us quivered and shock, as Discord's ragged body was lifted into the air. The air started to shimmer and split as magic danced around him, and then there's a final flash of light as his body disintegrated into the void.
And just like that, he was gone. The wind blew gently, and after a few seconds of quiet, the entire crowd filled with thousands of ponies, dragons, griffins, and changelings all erupt into cheers. It was all finally over. After twenty five years it was finally over.
“So, hey I know we’ve stopped Discord and all but what about earth? I mean it wasn't really in the best of shape when we left.” Derpy asked.
“Don’t worry. WW3 is a fixed event and won’t start until 2120. Over a horse actually. Come to think of it, it may have been Discord.” I said after thinking about it.
“That’s good, I guess.” Derpy said shrugging it off. “Victory joint?” She asked pulling a small joint from under her Vortex Manipulator.
“Umm, alright. Anypony got a light?” I asked taking it.
“Here.” Night Glade said levitating over a match.
“Thanks.” I said lighting it and taking a hit. “Wow, that’s some strong stuff. Either that or our pony bodies are light weights.” I said coughing a few times, handing the joint back to Derpy.
“It’s not that strong.” She said taking a hit herself. “So what are we going to do now?” she asked passing the joint around.
“Well, I guess the first thing we should do is pick our daughter up from Torchwood. Then… what do you think, a family trip to the resort planet of Dalmare?” I asked looking at her.
“That sounds like a lovely Idea.” She said as we walked over to the TARDIS.
I fell to my knees as I exited the human side of the portal. Hearing several guns click I looked up to see several men and women wearing military uniforms pointing large guns at me.
“Uh, don’t shoot?” I said looking at them as I slowly stood up, putting my hands above my head.
“At easy, men.” An older women with short blond hair said with a British ascent as the solders lifted their guns off me. “It’s not him.” She said as she held up a small hand held devise that displayed my skeletal and circulatory systems. “The Cutie Mark Identification Program we borrowed from Torchwood lists him as Big Macintosh.” She said putting down the device.
“Cutie Mark?” I thought to myself, as I looked down to see that it was indeed still there.
“Someone get him a towel please.” The women ordered walking over to me. “Hello, I’m Brigadier Janet Lethbridge-Robinson, head of Scientific Research for UNIT. If you’re familiar with Doctor Who you may know me better as Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.” Janet introduced herself as one of the solders tossed me a towel.
“Nice to meet you.” I said wrapping the towel around my naked body. “If you don’t mind me asking what are you doing here?” I asked looking around at all the soldiers.
“At exactly 0-One Hundred Hours two days ago we detected The Doctor’s TARDIS taking off and landing several times with in this area and we came to investigate. We are well aware of the situation you ponies are in as many of our younger members have turned back into ponies themselves.” Janet explained. “Earlier this month we were contacted by Princess Celestia and she asked us to help keep an eye out for all of you and help you guys stay safe. For the most part we have been keeping a lot of heat off you guys even assisting in getting some of you guys here and keeping the world militaries from tearing each other apart. That Rainbow explosion didn’t help by the way. Most recently we have been standing guard over this portal.”
“Uh, sorry and thanks I guess.” I said still a little nervous.
“Anyway,” The Brigadier said changing the subject. “You wouldn't happen to know where the Doctor is now, would you?”
I was about to explain to her that I hadn’t seen him since the battle when a solider ran into the small building.
“Sorry to interrupt Mum but he’s here!” The solider said quickly saluting. “The Doctor. He’s here.”
“Are you sure?” Janet said turning her attention to the solider.
“His TARDIS is landing as we speak.” The solider reported.
“Good.” She said before turning back to me. “If you go with Lieutenant Davis, he’ll help find you some clothes before waiting with the others.”
“Others?” I asked confused.
“The others that came through the past few days and decided to remain on earth.” Lieutenant Davis explained as we walked out of the building. Once outside I saw that the entire school yard was filled with UNIT personnel as well as military vehicles and tents. “We’re getting their statements about what happened before helping them settle back with their friends and families.” he continued to explain as he led me over to a large tent that had an assortment of men’s clothing.
“I see.” I said grabbing a pair of jeans.
Doctor Whooves prospective
The TARDIS landed with its usual thud as the scrunching wheezing sound stopped.
“Oh, hello!” I said stepping out and seeing all the military personnel. “I’m the Doctor. May I please speak to the one in charge?”
“That would be me.” Janet said stepping forward. “Not what I was expecting but it’s defiantly you.” She said commenting on my pony form while holding up the X-ray like device seeing my binary vascular system. “And it does explain why you took special interest in this event.”
“What can I say?” I said shrugging a bit “A few years back the TARDIS broke through the rift mid regeneration and here I am. Anyway,” I said getting serious. “Sorry, but I can’t stay long without disrupting the time. But it’s important for the sake of the timeline that you stay out of England until after December 1st of this year as well as Quebec, Luxemburg and Denmark.” I explained looking at her. “No matter what you hear you must refrain from interfering.”
“Can I ask why?” Janet asked.
“Sorry but spoilers.” I said sighing a bit. “Now if you excuse me I have to get these changelings to Equestria to help stop Discord. Oh and see if you can get a man by the name of Jeremy Taylor an audition at the BBC around November 22 to play me in my show. Thanks.” Before Janet could say anything else I closed the TARDIS doors and took off.
“You know, now that it’s all over the irony that my grandmother was Carole Ann Ford just hit me.” Dinky said, fixing her dress as we stepped out of the TARDIS.
“Is she really?” I asked astonished. “Huh. Well you know she did a great job of playing your niece.”
“Uh, the family tree is going to become more complicated than time itself.” She said rubbing her head
“Did you have to park the TARDIS in the barn?” Derpy asked lifting the helm of her dress to avoid getting it dirty.
“Sorry but the perception filter is broken, so I had to park it some place no one would see it.” I explained as we exited the barn and walked over to the area of the farm the wedding was being held.
“Hard to believe it’s been 5 years here. I mean for us the battle was just last week.” Dinky said looking around.
“I know, I still can’t believe UNIT gave Big Mac the TARDIS phone number and that it can receive calls across the void! Well with the portal open I guess it’s not that hard.” I said after thinking about it.
“Ah. There you are Doctor.” An important looking man said walking up to us. “Wow you’re a splitting image of David Tennant. And you must be Derpy and Dinky.”
“Yes and you are?” I asked extending my hand to shake his.
“It’s me Night Glade.” He said reintroducing himself.
“Oh! Night Glade. How have you been? Wait is that a UNIT pin?” I asked seeing a pin in the shape of the UNIT logo on his suit.
“Yeah, I’m a member of UNIT’s Equestrian Division now. You see after the battle some of the ponies decided to return to their lives here on earth. When we arrived we found that Celestia and Luna had gotten UNIT to help locate all the ponies still lost and help those who wish to stay on earth integrate back into society. They've even made a new division lead by Big Macintosh to handle the task as well as anything else involving ponies and Equestria.” Night Gale explained.
“Wow that’s amazing.” Dinky said amazed.
“Anyway, I’m here to give you guys your Equestrian Identification Cards.” He said holding up three wallet sized ID’s.
“Thanks but I think you’ll see that I’m perfectly covered.” I said holding out my psychic paper.
“Oh right. Psychic paper. I guess you don’t need this Time Turner.” He said putting one of the cards back in his pocket. "But just to be safe I think you two should hold onto these.” The UNIT agent said handing the other two cards to my wife and daughter. “Take care now I have to be there when Twilight and her friends arrive.” Night Glade said walking towards an empty field as a helicopter came into view from the distance.
Derpy’s perspective
“Well this wedding is going good.” I said as Rainbow Dash finished her speech.
“Yes a lot better than Shining’s first wedding.” Doctor Whooves said looking around.
“Um, excuse me but are you David Tennant?” A women asked walking up to us.
“Uh, no. I’m not sorry.” He said shaking his head.
“Really because you look just like him."
“Sorry but I’m not see.” He said pulling out the Psychic paper.
“Huh. Guess you aren’t him. Sorry to bother you sir.” She said giving him a salute before walking away.
“Why did she salute you?” I asked looking over at him.
“Because I’m General Norman Rockswell of the US Army apparently.” He said looking at the psychic paper.
“Hey Doctor, Derpy. I didn’t know you guys would be here.” Applejack said walking up to us.
“Hey Applejack. Your brother invited us.” I explained.
“He did? Huh. Well I guess being the head of a division of UNIT has given him all kinds’ of different contacts.” She said scratching her chin.
“Um, hey there was actually something I was hoping you could do for us.” I said nervously.
“What is it?” She asked raising an eyebrow.
“It’s about Dinky, you see the doctor and I are planning on taking another trip through time and space and even though it’s been five years since the battle for you guys it’s only been about a week for us. And Dinky is still struggling a bit with her memories from her life in Equestria and her life on earth, not to mention the whole age and gender thing.” I explained fiddling with my dress. “So we were wounding if when you go back to Equestria you could take her with you and look after her for a while?” I asked looking up. “I mean time and space is a dangerous place and I don’t think Dinky is up for it. And you would mostly be just giving her a place to live. She is technically over 20 years old after all.”
“Ah shoot, I’d be glad to look after her for you. Just don’t be gone too long.” She said removing her hat. “And don’t worry I’m use to young ponies who are older than they look. I’m living with Apple Bloom after all.”
“Great thanks.” I said as we left to tell Dinky that she would be staying with Applejack.
“Well that wedding is definitely going on my top 30 list of favourite weddings.” Doctor Whooves said as we entered the TARDIS. “Anyway,” He said walking up to the controls. “So... all of time and space here and Equestria, everything that’s ever happened or ever will. Where do you what to start?”
“How about Equestria after Discord but before Nightmare Moon.”
“Alright.” He said fiddling with the controls. “And just for old time sake and because I look like him, Allons-y!” With that he hit a button and the TARDIS shook as it took off.
