Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
"...as for the tenth prize winner—if he... or she... is not satisfied with such a... generous share, then—by all means—my client, Brick Lisneigh, will be more than willing to split the last share again..." Svengallop yawned halfway through the tail-end of his proclamation. With a lethargic grin, he finished: "...assuming he isn't also responsible for carrying such ponies over the finishing line on his own shoulders. Which he can do, by the way."
Out from the crowd, a voice cracked: "Shoulders, shmoulders... here I am at the foundation of a marathon the only running I've seen so far is some stallion's big mouth!"
Svengallop's eyes bulged. He looked every which way, his pink mane flouncing. "Huh? What?" His teeth gnashed. "Who dares insult the Sven?!"
"Pffft... you can't insult something that's already so lame." A blue figure trotted through the crowd, approaching the stage. "Is that why you cling to that mountain of a horse standing next to you? Because, if so, tell him he can run you back to where you came from!"
Brick Lesneigh blinked. He opened his massive jaws to speak—
"Whoah, there, Brick. I know exactly what you're going to say." Svengallop pivoted about, tilting his nose up at the sight of the petite pegasus. "And I whole-heartedly agree! If this is the kind of reception I can expect here in Ponyville, then you yokels are a whole lot ruder than I thought!"
"Rude?" Rainbow squinted. "You go on for half-an-hour instructing us how we can accept your client's winnings... as if we're a bunch of losers who expect to roll over for whatever athlete gallops our way?" She rolled her eyes. "Tch... dude, who are you, anyway? This is Ponyville! You don't have the right to say who's gonna be first, tenth, eleventh, or whateverth! Especially in a town already chock full of winners! Not that you'd know, of course."
Ponies murmured to one another, their voices rising in enthusiasm for the first time in minutes.
Svengallop's jaw hung agape. "What... you... y-you can't be serious!" The stallion pointed up at the girthy organism beside him. "You infinitesimal little rain stain! Do you even know who my client is?!"
"Nope. And I don't care!" Rainbow Dash smirked. "Because as far as I'm concerned, the only winners of this marathon are those sickly unicorns over at the hospital that they're building. And it just wouldn't be awesome if a local Ponyvillean didn't win the prizes for them!"
The crowd smiled and nodded some more.
"Hmmmff..." Svengallop leaned back, folding his forelimbs. "If that's the way you feel, how about you sign up and put your might where your muzzle is?!"
"I already did," Rainbow Dash said, waving a carbon copy of a paper in her grasp.
Svengallop blinked.
"Did it just a few minutes ago while you were still prattling away with your fat mouth." Rainbow squinted with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I supposed to be listening to you? I'm afraid that none of these ponies here are quite so fluent in jerkeneses."
"Uhm..." Caramel shuffled up, ears drooped. "Rainbow?" He patted her shoulder. "M-maybe you should reconsider—"
"Grrrrrr..." Svengallop shook an angry hoof from where he stood on the stage. "Now listen here—!"
"No. You listen! Ponyville's an awesome place full of awesome ponies! We don't need you to tell us how to win the day! And to prove it... not only am I going to beat your client to first place... but I'm gonna make sure that all of Equestria knows just how badly he lost!" She grinned devilishly. "It'll be the news sensation of the century!"
Fumbling, the Mayor rushed forward and smiled into the crowd. "All the more reason to donate generouslyyyyyyyy!" The crowd chuckled and applauded as she glanced nervously at Rainbow.
"Right! Let them pile it on!" Rainbow smiled. "Let's make a generous record here in Ponyville! And when I win the proceeds... I'm gonna donate my fourth of the prize to my good friend Melody! So you can take your totally lame pride and stick it where the flies don't puke!"
Caramel blinked, his muzzle agape.
In the meantime...
...the crowd broke into thunderous applause and cheers.
And the loudest of all: "Wooohooo!" I hovered in midair, my wings buzzing like they could never do before this month. A bright grin reflected sunlight in a beam before me. "You tell 'em, girl! Yeah! Awesome!"
Rainbow breathed. Perhaps it was a passing cloud... or just a tactful flick of the ear that kept everypony from seeing the first of many bulbs of sweat...
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and here we go.....
Ohhhhhhhhhhh you've gone and done it. Good on you for sticking it to that jerkwad, but as for backing it all up...
Well, we'll just have to see what happens.
Aaaaaand . . . she signed up Very noble, but I'm a little worried about her limbs.
I (kinda) approve, though. It'd be nice to give that money to Caramel/Melody. It also keeps Rainbow Dash in Ponyville a little longer.
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Oh, and someone better let Zecora know, so she can brew like she's never brewed before.
7356046 Problem: anti-noodle power of brew =|= bottles(x) at this point. It's more like a negative quadratic.
In fact, a negative quadratic is a good way of mathematically defining a narcotic effect.
y=-(x-2)^2 +5
Imagine that as Rainbow's potion intake. Up to a point, it alleviates her symptoms... and then the value plunges after that point, as she has developed a resistance to the potion's ingredients.
Well Dash... you've talked the talk... but can you back it up?
...Are there any rules about this marathon? Like, no wings or magic? If so then Dash might have bitten off more than she can chew.
I imagine there'd have to be, otherwise there's nothing stopping pegasi from just flying straight to the finish line, or unicorns like Twilight just teleporting there.
Hey.. might be time to go back on Redhearts medication, surely she's been off that enough that the required dosage for it to take effect has gone down...
It might just be her only hope.
Eey, you go Rainbow! I know it hasn't happened yet, but we finally have a moment where she helps someone out NOT anonymously. I was going to be pretty upset if she just won the race, and snuck a ton of money into Caramel's mailbox or something.
Rainbow drinks whatever potion she has available before the race. Paul Heyman in equestria notices. Rainbow wins the race. Paul Neighman accuses her of taking performance enhancing drugs. Ponyville runs him out of town, then confronts rainbow. Rainbows secret is out and Neighman goes on to reform the legion of evil with whatever surviving members there are left.
Quote me now fellas
6733831
28 weeks... 28 weeks and I only just got that joke by stumbling upon this comment by chance while reading through the comment backlog.
I feel so fucking stupid....
7356046
Girl's gonna need a damn constant IV drip!
Nice to see Rainbow sticking it to the man, no matter how badly this might end up. It's fun watching her take on a crazy challenge even when we know she shouldn't. It feels like it's been a while since we've seen her show some metaphorical pony ballz.
Woooooo. Want more!
Well, this will certainly be interesting! The Brick guy seems alright - if very quiet - but arse-face over there needs to be taken down a few hundred pegs. I just hope Rainbow has the health to do so.
Rainbow deary, I don't know if you remember, but your limbs currently don't work, and you just sold your house and all your worldly possessions.
Not that I don't think you can't overcome seemingly unconquerable challenges [God knows you've done it before], but boasting may not be the best idea right now.
*facepalm*
Well, good luck.
Oh, man, this is gonna go so terribly...
7355998
7356011
I really hope she doesn't pull another running of the leaves by shugging all her remedy in one go.
Lets hope that this arce doesn't end up taxing RD too much
7356683
A pony can dream
Is . . . Is she. . . . Does she mean. . . . Dash. . . Are you going to. . . tell them all? After you win?
I want to believe. Go get 'em noodle legs!