Sarge ran though Ponyville, looking intently for the stray fragment. He stopped by every pony he passed and asked them if they had seen a bald, yellow stallion. Almost everyone told him they saw one matching his description, and that he seemed keen on not talking to them. Each one also pointed him in the right direction, bringing him closer and close to his target.
"This isn't good." Sarge muttered, when the last pony he talked to said he was heading towards town square.
Sarge galloped over the bridge and saw Gary coming out of the town hall, smiling to himself. Sarge lowered his head and put all he could into his legs. He bucked off the ground, propelling him forward where he tackled Gary to the ground, pinning him.
"Do you mind?" Gary choked. "I need my throat to breath now. And you are causing a scene."
"What are you doing here?" Sarge asked quickly, easing up on his hold of Gary, but keeping enough energy to hold him down.
"I visited the Mayor." Gary smiled. "Delightful stupid shisno. Have you met her?"
"Not personally." Sarge muttered. "Did you do anything to her?"
"Yes." Gary admitted, but spoke up again before Sarge went further. "But not in the way you think.
"Why come out here to meet her then?"
"Don't you already know the answer to that?"
Sarge applied a tiny bit more pressure onto Gary's throat, glancing around to see if any ponies were watching them.
"Well, you raised an interesting point when you brought up politics. And since you witnessed first hand that I wasn't a farmer, I figured if I have to stay in this shisno ridden wold, I might as well do something beneficial to me." Gary sniffed, flicking away Sarge's hoof before pushing Sarge off of him. "You should feel honored that I considered your advice."
"What happened?" Sarge asked. "What did you tell her?"
"Clueless, clueless shisnos. It is always questions with you. How do you survive knowing so little?" Gary asked, smiling at Sarge's growing impatience. "If you must know, I asked to be her assistant. She hired me on the spot when I offered my assistance, realizing how effective I could be. I start tomorrow, so I would appreciate it if you didn't rough me up. I want to look my best on my first day. And as for what I told her, I simply stated my name was Neighoming from Minneighsota, so you do not have to worry. Would you believe that I made Minneighsota up on the spot, just to find out it is a real place?"
"Named yourself after that shithead freelancer, huh?" Sarge chuckled, making Gary stiffen. "Reminds me of that time Tucker stabbed him. Oh, and how we ran a bunch of them over. And gunned them down. Also when Tex executed the last one. Even when there were hundreds of them we managed to kick all their asses. So much for being a super trained freelancer."
"Do not talk about him in that way. He was the only human worthy of my respect." Gary hissed.
"Sure he was." Sarge muttered.
"Just bring me to the barn so I don't have to look at you..."
"Sound good to me." Sarge grunted, reluctantly walking with Gary towards Sweet Apple Acres. "Listen, I know you're planning something, and I know you won't tell me what it is, but I will find out."
"I assure you that I have no plans to do anything malicious. AI politics are different than shisno politics."
"I don't buy that for a second."
"Fortunately for you, I don't care." Gary sighed happily.
Sarge followed Gary, making sure Gary didn't stray from the path. Ten minutes later, they reached Sweet Apple Acres, and Sarge began leading Gary to the barn. Sarge stopped when he noticed Gary deviating off the path.
"I just remembered I need to speak with Granny Smith." Gary said before Sarge could ask where he was going, walking towards the farm house.
"Why?" Sarge asked slowly. "I thought you wanted to go to the barn and be out of my sight."
"I didn't want to be out of your sight, I wanted you to be out of mine. There is a difference." Gary corrected him. "But the Mayor suggested I talk to her about how Ponyville came to be."
"I thought you were getting into politics, not history..."
"You have to know history if you wish to make it." Gary quipped. "Which reminds me of a delightful little joke..."
"Go talk to Granny Smith." Sarge said quickly, not intending to hear any more of Gary's jokes.
"Don't you want to-"
"Go!" Sarge commanded.
"Touchy." Gary huffed.
Gary opened the door to the farm house and ran into something red, causing him to fall to the floor.
"I'm beginning to see a pattern here with the color red and I..." Gary muttered, rubbing his head, before looking up to see Big Mac.
"Gary." Big Mac murmured under his breath, holding out a hoof to help Gary up.
"Shisno." Gary replied in the same tone, not taking his hoof.
"Causin' trouble?"
"Eenope." Gary said, mimicking Big Mac's voice as he clambered off the floor.
"Good." Big Mac nodded. "Sarge outside?"
"Eeyup." Gary said, mimicking him again.
Big Mac shook his head and walked outside. Gary trotted into the kitchen, where he took a seat net to the doorway, staring silently at Granny Smith who was almost finished with her creation.
"Well, what do ya think?" Granny Smith asked.
"Smells... good." Gary said, forcing a compliment.
"Thank ya Gary. Apple family recipes always smell good and taste better. " Granny Smith chuckled. "So where did ya run off to? Sarge was worried."
"I visited the Mayor today, and-"
"Mayor Mare?" Granny Smith asked with a nod. 'How's she doin'?"
"Er, fine. I was just wondering, how does one become a Mayor around here?"
"Interested in bein' one?"
"No, this is purely for research. She hired me to be her assistant, so I felt I should come to one of the wisest shisnos to see how things really work around here. And since you know about humor, I instantly place you as one of the wisest shisnos around."
"Gary, are ya tryin' t' seduce me?" Granny Smith asked with a wink.
"What?" Gary said, almost throwing up in his mouth. "No! I wasn't, I mean sure, you have more of a sense of humor than most shisnos, but that's as far as-"
"Should see the look on your face." Granny Smith interrupted with a soft chuckle. "Priceless."
Gary shuddered off the disgust, then feigned a smile. Though he appreciates a joke, he does not typically like to be the butt of said jokes.
"Ah'm almost done cookin', so take a seat and ah'll tell ya what ah can before it's done."
Gary promptly sat at the table, nodding at Granny Smith to continue.
"Funny story about the Ponyville politics, ah was almost voted into bein' the Mayor when we established this fine settlement. Ah never was one for all that thinkin' stuff though, but ah decided to stay here an' work hard for my keep."
"Interesting." Gary said quietly. "Now what about being Mayor?"
"I was gettin' t' that." Granny Smith said, sipping out of her ladle. "Almost done. Anyways, even though we're mainly governed by th' Princesses, th' Mayor main job is t' keep the town in shape. Not a whole lot happens t' need any community votes, so-"
"As intrigued as I am by this information, may you just tell me how you become Mayor?" Gary asked impatiently, then realized that was not the best way to go about getting information. He had to play it like he wanted to know it all, just not all at once. "We can discuss what the Mayor does after dinner, I just want to know how one becomes Mayor for now."
"Ah, well there is no set date for votin'." Granny Smith shrugged. "We decided that votin' would happen if the town decides that the Mayor is no longer right for the role."
"What do you mean no longer right for the role?"
"Like if she uses th' towns income for personal use, or if she starts tryin' t' pass ludicrous laws."
"So if she does a series of bad things..." Gary said carefully. "What happens next?"
"Most of th' time we vote for a new Mayor, but the chances of Mayor Mare doin' anythin' bad are slimmer than a sheet of paper." Granny Smith said, before ringing a bell that was next to the stove. "Soups on!"
"Yes." Gary said with a wicked grin when Granny Smith turned to take the dish off the stove. "It is indeed on."
lol my fave chapter so far
This plan is genius. And devious. Therefore, he gets kudos and the meanest fist shake you will see.
Gary, you magnificent bastard.
Well buck.........but I have to hand it to Gary. Getting close to his victim just to ruin everything for them while looking innocent is a good plan, though eh who knows maybe like Tex he will start to have some shifting in his persona just enough to avoid pissing off the others and getting knocked around.
Well, sh...isno.
Not looking forward to this.
Gary you clever bastard. your going to screw the mayor.
In b4 502s
oh shit. this will not end well for anyone
Son of a bitch. Wolf thought as he looked at Gary through the window. He's gonna try what I think he is. And thats bad. Wolf started sitting there and thinking if there was anything he could do.
riiiight, cause NONE of them will suspect Gamma when the Mayor starts acting weird right after his release...
1076907
WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE TO INSERT YOURSELF INTO THIS WONDERFUL STORY!!! *ahem* What i am trying to say is WHY??!?!?!?!!?????
1076957
Yup, my qwerasdf keys are fucked from too much gaming. I need a new keyboard.
Oh boy, I like where this is going.
Applejack only said he couldn't possess ponies on the FARM .
gamma you know what i think right now about your plan
1076990
How the hell do you write these so fast? You managed to update the story not once, not twice, but seven times in the time it took me to read it, and I'm a fast reader.
Kudos to you sir.
PS nice story
This is gunna be interesting. I would love to see what happens when gary's plan goes to hell
i have a bad feeling about this e__e
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Gary, we all know that this is gonna turn out badly for you. In other words-
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Gary your digging your own grave
Oh SHIT! Ponyville is fucked, Mayor Mare along with it.
Noticed the Wyoming reference juuuuust before Sarge pointed it out, (yes, I'm a bit thick) nice one there!
I for one welcome our new mayor overlord
mayor Gary... This wont end well
1077835
I think everyone noticed, but since it was so obvious no one pointed it out.
1077908 My problem was that I was a bit unclear that he was CALLING himself Wyoming, since it's a place and not an obvious name, I was just sitting there going "why did he say he lived in two places?" After several minutes of sitting in confused silence, I took it in stride, shrugged and kept reading.
Story of my life.
Politics is only about lying, right?
First, "Clueless, clueless shisnos. It is always questions with you. How do you survive knowing so little?" Gary asked, Well I dont see how being a smart ass will help you survive either Gary.
Second, HAHAHAH!!! Granny Smith trolled Gary!!!
and Third, bring out the propaganda posters!
1076925
Because I can. Now shut up and enjoy the story.
Also, I wasn't the first to do it. If you look through the comments as far back as Grif getting poisoned by the timberwolves, you'll see that Clone has also done it a couple times as well. I just do it for writing practice.
I am thinking Sigma and Gary switched bodies.
Or at least shared notes.
This can only go well...I wonder what prophecy he will come up with for his campaign promises.
My sympathy for Gary has been replaced with the urge to punch him in the face.
"Gary, are ya tryin' t' seduce me?" Granny Smith asked with a wink.
Just cause i can....
BOW CHIKA BOW WOW!!!!!
Damn it, Gary! You have one job. One. Job. Don't fuck things up once you get outside... And what's the first thing you start planning to do? FUCK EVERYTHING UP. I just hope O'Malley / Omega comes along soon and puts Gary in his place...
Ok I was wrong Gary is evil :P
1076925 Role Play
Gary you devious bastard you and me have a lot in common.
Dun dun dunnnnnnn
Ehhhhh, to be honest these past few chapters have kind of bored me. I know it's leading up to something good (hopefully), but I don't enjoy the whole apple family/Gary take on the story as much as I do Dash/Tucker or Church/Twilight or Grif/Fluttershy . And we haven't really even heard from them at all.
Gary is pissing me off he was better off with Omega. His balls better get kicked then.
Am i the only one who just cant imagine Gary as yellow and bald? I more imagine him as white and with the style of hair church has in the art
2261661 I can't see him yellow, but if you've seen the episode where gamma and sigma talk to Carolina, he is bald.
That dirty bastard! I just know he's gonna try to set up Mayor Mare
>: (
i so confuse
Gary seems to be quite the devious bastard.
Im going to dread any chapter with gary....
2837310 and he will dread my plasma caster if he continues.
Gary is a true Shinobi...HE'S SO AWESOME.
THAT'S IT! I don't care if I don't own a shotgun! I don't care if people actually like Gamma! If you're an AI who's programed to be deceitful, that's fine! However, you mess with Ponyville I don't care who or what you are (Discord being an exception) I WILL SHOW NO MERCY!!
Psst! Hey, Sigma! I'll pay you to think up a way to get Gamma into a trap! * goes somewhere else* Psst! Hey, Omega! I'll pay you to think up the nastiest possible death trap to put in the trap for Gamma that will still look like an accident!
I have a feeling that Gary's plans will backfire because it turns out Mayor Mare never trusted him in the first place
Ok well I live in mainosota ..... The fuck Gary don't be disrespecting cuz well darn sure kick your ass u betcha :)
4817948 ha
I'll kick it for you
-agent Utah