"So Pipsqueak." Tex coughed as they walked through Ponyville, which was surprisingly barren of any ponies outside.
"Just call me Pip!" Pip smiled.
"Okay then. So Pip, do you like it here in Ponyville?" Tex asked curiously. "I mean, aside from the ponies running away from me, this place seems pretty dull."
"Sometimes it can get a little boring, and sometimes I get picked on-"
"You get picked on?"
"Not a lot. Mostly just because of my accent, but they're just joking around." Pip smiled unconvincingly. "I think."
"Listen, if any punk is giving you trouble, tell me." Tex said seriously. "Got it?"
"I'm sure that-"
"Got it?"
"Yes ma'am." Pip grumbled, but smiled anyways. "But yeah, besides that it's not that bad. Every now and then I take the train to Manehatten and visit their harbor, but that trip takes a couple hours so I don't go often."
"How's it going?" Pinkie asked, somehow appearing in between Pip and Tex.
Neither of them flinched.
"Aw, you're not fun." Pinkie pouted jokingly. She turned her attention to Pip. "Heya Pip!"
"Hello Pinkie." Pip bowed. "How are you today?"
"I'm great!" Pinkie grinned. "Just showing Tex here around town, trying to get her some friends. I'm glad you're helping too, because it's been exhausting."
"We've been out here for less than hour..."
"Yeah, but it doesn't take that long to get friends."
"Oh." Tex muttered. "Thanks."
"I just meant for a professional friend maker like myself." Pinkie said in an attempt to reassure her.
"Of course you did."
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." Pinkie bawled, hugging Tex's hind leg. "I promise I take it back."
"Okay, I forgive you, just get off me." Tex said, uncomfortable with the contact. "I guess I can't blame you for being able to make friends faster than me."
"Yeah! Hey, that brings me to the second lesson. Be yourself." Pinkie said, poking Tex in her ribs.
"I was under the impression that you've seen me for who I am." Tex grunted.
"Remember rule number one." Pinkie chastised in a counterproductive happy tone. "And rule number two and three!"
"What's rule number two and three?"
"Rule number two is always remember rule number one."
"What's rule number three?" Tex asked sarcastically. "Remember rule number two?"
"Nope, rule number three is to always ask questions. You need to sound interested in their lives."
"But I'm not."
"Of course you're not, it's just expected. You aren't supposed to be interested until you're sure you've made a friend."
"That doesn't sound particularly friendly."
"You passed the first test!" Pinkie whooped. "You know the difference between what's friendly and what's not!"
"Amazing." Tex rolled her eyes. "I've made so much progress."
"Come on, I see somepony you should meet!" Pip said quietly, galloping full speed ahead.
Tex shrugged at Pinkie and walked after Pip, matching his speed in stride. Pip ran up to one of the nearby buildings. There was a white unicorn was sitting up against sitting up against the wall, bobbing her head. The color of her mane alternated between blue and aquamarine, and she had a pair of purple tinted sunglasses over her horn. She seemed to be scrawling something on a small parchment when Pip stopped in between her and the sun. The unicorn looked up to see what was blocking her light and stared at him.
"Afternoon, Miss Scratch." Pip panted, making his accent a lot thicker than it usually was. "How are you on this fine day?"
"I'm doing well Pip. Smooth sailings on the seas with you I presume?" Vinyl Scratch asked with a smile, mimicking his voice.
"You bet!" Pip said, smiling weakly.
"So what's up?" Vinyl Scratch asked, her voice returning to normal.
"Not a lot really, just helping out a new friend."
"A school buddy?"
"No, I just met her today, but she's really fun."
"Ohh, a lady friend?" Vinyl cooed.
Pip smiled embarrassingly, before turning around to see Tex standing a few feet behind him. Tex shook off the unease she was feeling and stepped next to Pip.
"This is my new friend." Pip smiled. "Her name is T-"
"Allison." Tex said quickly, not wanting her to know that she was Tex. "My name is Allison."
"Strange name." Vinyl Scratch said, pulling her goggles back down over her eyes.
"I guess so." Tex said, forcing grin.
"I suppose I shouldn't be the one to talk though." She chuckled, extending her hoof. "Nice to meet you Allison."
"Ditto." Tex said, shaking her hoof. "So what do you do around here?"
"Me specifically, or in general?"
"Both."
"Well, I DJ at the local club, but not a lot of ponies show up. In fact I have a show in a couple hours." Vinyl shrugged. "Not really much to do around Ponyville though. The only one that keeps this place interesting is Pinkie and her new friend, what's his name?"
"Caboose." Tex grunted.
"Yeah. Doesn't really seem all there, but he seems to be a pretty cool guy."
Tex choked on her tongue as she tried to hold back a bout of laughter.
"Are you alright?" Vinyl asked.
"Yeah, just what you said." Tex snorted. "You called Caboose of all people a pretty cool guy."
"You broke the rules!" Pinkie yelped from behind a bush. She jumped over the small plant and bounded towards Tex. "Remember? Rule number one? Hello? Weren't you listening?"
"Yeah, but you told me to be myself..."
"But you broke a rule!"
"Why are you mad? How was I supposed to know that rules are more important than the lessons?"
"What's going on?" Vinyl Scratch asked, confused.
"You have to do both at the same time!" Pinkie said quickly.
"But they contradict each other." Tex said, barely managing to contain herself.
"Guys!" Vinyl shouted, disrupting Tex and Pinkie's train of thought. "What's going on here?"
"Oh well Tex just came into town and she's sort of mean, but we decided to get her some friends so maybe she will be less mean, but she just broke rule number one. Don;t be a negative n-"
"So you're the fabled Tex, huh?" Vinyl interrupted with a large smirk.
"Fabled?" Tex echoed.
"Yeah. You know, the legendary Tex who came in and showed those pegasi a thing or two about manners."
"Glad to see someone sees it from my side. All these other ponies are terrified of me an think that I'm going to kill them."
"Pft, those winged boneheads had it coming." Vinyl Scratch muttered. "That's what they get for not letting me perform at the Mile."
"I thought it was because they said you'd fall through the clouds if you walked on them." Pinkie said.
"Excuses!" Vinyl Scratched exclaimed, but chuckled at her own outburst. "Whatever, I'm over it. So how about it Tex?"
"How about what?"
"You want to come to my show?"
Tex looked over to Pip and Pinkie, who were both nodding their heads ecstatically.
"Why not? I've got nothing better to do." Tex sighed.
"Charming." Vinyl said sarcastically, punching Tex on her foreleg. "We'll get along just fine."
"Give it time."
"C'mon, club's this way." Vinyl said as she began walking away. "Can't guarantee you'll meet a lot of ponies, but the ones who show up are alright guys, so you shouldn't have any trouble making friends of them. Maybe you'll score a few points if you buy them a round of drinks."
"I would if I had any money." Tex grunted, then began to smile. "You wouldn't happen to know anybody who you'd pay to see their legs broken, do you?"
"Not off the top of my head, but if I think of any I'll call you up." Vinyl laughed.
Tex looked back to Pinkie and Pip, who were both nodding with approval. Tex nodded her thanks and began to walk away, but hesitated. She turned back to Pinkie and motioned her head.
"You go on ahead, I'll make sure Pip gets home safe and sound." Pinkie said, trotting up to Pip.
"I can find my own way home." Pip assured her.
"Yeah, if you went the normal way." Pinkie said, pulling out a cannon out from under a bush.
Tex shrugged and resumed following Vinyl Scratch. Up in the sky, a familiar orange-yellow pegasus poked his head over one of the clouds and looked down at the black earth pony.
"This ought to be good. Tex is trying to make friends. I feel sorry for the poor soul that gets that title." Grif chuckled quietly as he watched Tex walk away with Vinyl. He began to smile sadistically, before slowly trailing them from above. "And that gives me an idea."
grif stop being a asshole TEX IS TRYIN TO CHANGE
plus your balls are gonna disintegrate if you fuck it up for tex
I like where this is going
Well looks like Grif is up to something
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Grif, I suggest you stop thinking before you get yourself killed.
And it's good to be back!!!!!!!!
Grid, you fucktard.
This is going to be good. And I'm saying that cause I can't wait to see Grif get is ass handed to him.
Dear God! Grif please stop! Tex is starting to come out of her shell, now you're going to go and f-yay!-k it up and lose you balls in the process.
Grid is going to make her punch him by pretending to be really friendly witch the ponies won't see what is so bad, so then they won't like her... You know probably...
Oh, this will only end in tears. Griff's tears, but tears all the same.
i love the story its great
Grif. Whatever you're thinking of doing, it's going to get you killed. Extremely painfully.
Doesn't matter how high you fly, or how much protection you get from being part tree. Tex. Is. Going. TO KILL YOU.
Have fun with that.
898651
Tex is gonna kick grif back into the rvb world he dosne't shut up!
All she just need to do is kick him in the balls.
IT WAS OK
Wait, Grif actively going out of his way to sabotage someone else? Tex was right, he has changed!
Tex would make a good bouncer. HIRE HER VINYLdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
grif i thought we agreed, after the tex indident, never go anywhere without fluttershy to protect you
Holy shit.
And I'm the god damn Auditor.
I wonder if Grif's Infamous surrender will every be brought up?
898779
Nice that would be awesome
Grifs' balls are going to be a pile of dust and goo....may god bless him.
898716
With luck, they will be tears of laughter.
Do it Grif. Do something awesome. It is payback time.
griff cant die. only sarge can kill him. but i cant wait to see viinel hurt him with wubs
Look's like Tex is going to play some Grifball. Geddit? Grif? Ball?
898905
Amen
Excuse me mister fan, but get away from the shit depot, please
898934
icwutudididar
Wait. Did my Pip the Pimp joke really get a nod in there? Or am I just imagining things.
NOOOOOOOOOO TEX DONT SOFTEN UP BE FREE BE FREE (does anyone not remember tex and sheila they were friends sorta)
Just when things were looking up...but then again, it wouldn't be a story unless things went horribly wrong, now would it?
Ohhh Griff, you pile of stupid you.
His name is spelled Grif, g-r-i-f. Not Grid of Griff. One F. There are about 7 misspellings.
Oh this is going to be great.
Season 10 Episode 6 is out by the way.
I'm guessing we're gonna have a closed casket service for Grif? Lord knows she is going to beat him until noone can recognize him. Of course if she does that it will upset Fluttershy. Then we get to see which is more powerful: An Angry Tex vs The Stare! One night only!
*presses random button* this computational unit will implode in 10 seconds.
.... well f*yay*k...
omg when pinkie said you broke the rules! made me hear in my head this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NylmdC_uEM&feature=player_detailpage#t=24s
pretty cool chapter and yay vinyl scratch :D
If Grif is part tree, wouldn't that mean he would catch fire much easier then before?
grif your a dead pony if u do what your thinking:
899338 Oh yeah, as soon as I read that line, I started yelling, "You broke the rules! Everyone's gonna be mad!"
damn it grif, just leave her alone.
The only idea Grif has is to sleep. Calm down, everybrony.
Damn it, Grif, of all the times to stop being lazy, you had to pick now?
899252
Tex vs The Stare?
This is going to be good
899632
Good point
Oh crap... Griff you are digging your own grave man
so this isnt all to relevant, but is tucker ever gonna get some? ive just had a feeling he should throughout the whole thing
may the traffic cone be with you, Grif
902142
I don't think the cone will save him this time....He's doomeddl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png
To anyone that says that Grif is doomed:
You are so fucking right
tch with any luck tex wont even lift a finger instead vinyl will kick him in the balls for her or harm him in some other way xDD as a sign of there new friendship im calling it!
902730
She can't lift a finger because she doesn't have any.
899632
KILL IT WITH FIRE