Joined May 2012
176,735 story views
21m, 58s ago

Where's your heart?

Bukket List

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The Regidarians

1,661 members follow Regidar

Regidar follows 146 members

Everything Pure And Spiteful

Authors I like:

Art Inspired— Wonderful author, better friend

Bronystories— writes what he wants, when he wants, and helped get me noticed

Shortskirtsandexplosions— Unparalleled writing talent, interesting individual

Chuckward— A god amongst men [BANNED ;~;]

TheOnly— First person to gain a watch from me, his comedic skill is beyond amazing

Fiddlebottoms— He's... something else, all right

Midnightdancer— One of the most talented and lovely people on the site, personally responsible for making sure I didn't end up a complete shit

Ponky— Talent splashed all over the place. Plus, dat voice.

Ethesto— A god among Chuckwards

Authors I don't like in general: Device Heretic— He's an attention seeking asshole

Authors I hate: Mallajong1— Plagiarist and copy/paste writer of the same popular story over and over [BANNED]

Divide— Treats his followers like shit, has quit more times than a meth junky "trying" to stay clean, deleted and re-upvoted his stories more than once, and used alts to upvote his stories.

Authors I despise:  Kingofsquirrelz— Complete asshole, terrible writer, surrounded by an even stupider plethora of fans [BANNED]

Reality Check— Asshole, rides off the coattails of other people's works

Carnival of Comedy

  • Momma Kurt Cobain Momma Kurt gets a heavenly visit. by BlackSnowyOwl 0 words · 0 views · 2 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Onions Vinyl Scratch and her donkey companion must reach an onion hidden beneath Canterlot palace before it's too late. Unfortunately, princess Celestia and her swarm of guards aren't too keen on letting them in. by Ethesto the Pube Farmer 10,567 words · 898 views · 87 likes · 27 dislikes
  • OH JESUS! The new My Little Dashie. by Chuckward 3,279 words · 1,503 views · 105 likes · 111 dislikes

Title Based On Followers

Less than 100: Unknown

100-200: Known

200-300: Big League

300-400: Awesome Sauce

400-500: Shining Beacon of Literature

500-600: One of the Greats

600-700: King

700-800: Demigod

800-900: Hero of the Site

900-1000: Legend

1000-2000: Godly

2000+: Ellimist(Good), Crayak(Bad)

Current title: Godly

Crappy Comedies

Places To Do And Shit To Be


The Hurting · 9:41am

Today I was faced with a very tough situation.

I must say, I never knew that I could hurt so much. I never knew that I could feel so much emotion for another person. Someone I love and whom I owe a lot to is in a lot of pain and suffering, and I'm helpless to their situation. All I can do is sit back and watch as everything spirals down, out of control, out power, out of... life.

And it feels so bad, so very bad.

It helped me realize something, though. I have been squandering my life away. They were not dealt a very good deck in life, but they persevered and came through. Meanwhile, what do I do? I put off my schoolwork to be with my fans, and lie about a tragic life I pretend to lead.

I suppose now is when I'm going to come clean about something I have lied to about on several occasions. I do not blame you if you unwatch me after this, because in all truths, I am a liar and a thief. I steal from others' tragedies and make them my own, and lie to people who supposedly care about me.

In any case where I have told any of you (my newer watchers might not know about this) about my friend being shot, or my other friend dying in a surf accident, those were lies. I lied to gather attention, because as many of you may already know, I am simply a giant attention whore. I am so sorry I lied to you all, because if I treat my watchers like this, I'm no better than device heretic. I hope you all can forgive me for that.

However, in the past where I've brought up my depression, that is all very real. At times, I'll just be washed over by a great feeling of sorrow, and wonder to myself where everything is going. I haven't totally screwed myself over yet, so I still have to to get my academic life back on track. I need to make it a priority over my ponywords, because this won't last forever. Not that my academic life will either, but that will impact my life far more than this site could ever hope to, unless somehow I land a job getting my original fiction published through someone on this site, but that probably won't happen.

I don't know why I'll be happy one moment, then feel crippling depression the next; maybe I'm just done with filling out my "No Surprises" life where I do the same routine day in and day out, waking up feeling empty and going to bed feeling like I did something wrong; maybe I'm tired of staying awake every night dwelling on the sorrow of others and how I dare to feel bad for myself when far better people than I are being shot in the face by life; maybe I'm just tired of living on an island in the middle of the ocean with no one around who wants to be with me, in a culture that is so repressive intellectually.

I feel too much, and I think too little. To quote Kurt Cobain: "I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else." That's probably why I became a writer, to distract myself from the soul crushing bordom of the every-day. I used to adventure with my friends, we used to draw and play games and climb the ivy, but now I'm left with fond memories and the taste of nostalgia in my mouth. Which isn't so bad, I guess.

Allow to quote the genius Cobain once more: “There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.”  And it's true. I act like I hate the world, and I hate people, but I don't. I don't hate... anyone, to be honest. I forgive easily. Even people like KingofSquirrelz I'd be willing to forgive provided they gave me the chance. The simple fact is, I hate having enemies, and I hate people hating me. My personality often drives people off because of weird sense of humor and my inappropriate timing and my arrogant nature that characterize it, but I still want to accept everyone as my friend. That's why I simply cannot bring myself to harm another. I don't want to be forever remembered as the person who beat the shit out of that one kid, or shoved that other kid into the road. You might say "Well, they deserved it! They were an asshole!" or "Better to be remembered for something bad then for nothing at all!" And to this, I say no, because I want to be remembered for something good, and people judge far too easily for me to afford having bad on my track record. Trust me, I speak from experience, which is why I no longer indulge in the public school system, as every seemed incapable of realizing that 8th grade me was not the same as 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade me, the last time any of those losers saw me.

So if any of you stuck around through that, thank you. I still am in pain from earlier, because that person really does mean a lot to me and I'm not sure if I could bear to lose them. The Hurting continues, and it won't ever truly subside, but I've got enough diversions to distract me from the sorrow for long enough.

Feel free to post down in the comments about your own hurting if you wish. Do remember this, though:

When you've suffered enough

And your spirit is breaking

You're growing desperate from the fight

Remember you're loved

And you always will be

Regidar · 962 views · Edited 62w, 3d ago · Report

The Antlers Saga

  • His Thorn on the Rose Caramel is in love with Roseluck, but she can't return the feelings. by Regidar 4,778 words · 1,301 views · 152 likes · 11 dislikes
  • He Gave Her A Rose He gave her a rose. She began to understand. by Regidar 1,192 words · 1,342 views · 240 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Hospice Caramel deals with several very unhealthy relationships. by Regidar 9,536 words · 672 views · 125 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Cold War Caramel spends Hearth's Warming's Eve, Hearth's Warming Day, and The Day After in a state of perpetual flux. by Regidar 5,407 words · 232 views · 29 likes · 3 dislikes

The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best

  • Austraeoh Rainbow Dash flies east. by Imploding Colon 212,744 words · 13,720 views · 1,197 likes · 41 dislikes
  • I Need You To Be Brave Grief happens differently for different creatures. For Spike the dragon, it is an unending ache as he remembers the pony he loved best. by MidnightDancer 3,066 words · 1,361 views · 258 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Happy Ending I was pretty happy with my life. But now I have a filly. Now... I'm not sure. by plumander 4,552 words · 405 views · 61 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Nothing Shocks Me Anymore Things get a little weird when a crazy pony starts a diary. by SusieBeeca 6,397 words · 255 views · 31 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Discord's Ant Farm Awakening after the apocalypse, Discord searches for a purpose in a barren Equestria. by Fiddlebottoms 2,619 words · 953 views · 98 likes · 7 dislikes

The Boy Also Writes

  • The Secret RoomThere is a secret room in the Carousel Boutique that Rarity visits every year.2,213 words ·1,500 views ·216 likes ·11 dislikes
  • Fashion VigilanteRarity takes the deliverance of justice for the most horrendous of crimes into her own hooves.1,450 words ·380 views ·96 likes ·4 dislikes
  • The Last Petals Of Our LivesRoseluck heads to Canterlot to arrange flowers for a funeral.4,279 words ·1,954 views ·289 likes ·8 dislikes
  • Your New Twin Sized BedRumble, all grown up and living in Cloudsdale, finds a queen-sized mattress belonging to Scootaloo behind his apartments.3,671 words ·1,032 views ·149 likes ·2 dislikes
  • Blank BookTwilight reads a book with no words, no page numbers, and no title.2,366 words ·2,200 views ·311 likes ·7 dislikes
  • UnmarkedDiamond Tiara tells Apple Bloom why her blank flank will keep her from love.1,638 words ·902 views ·79 likes ·7 dislikes
  • The DayLyra Heartstrings has been told that today would be the day everything would change.1,562 words ·848 views ·141 likes ·4 dislikes
  • Your First MorningSweetie Belle takes a shower and makes herself breakfast after a long night.2,037 words ·1,960 views ·213 likes ·34 dislikes
  • ReformationDiscord and Fluttershy converse over the Spirit of Chaos's reformation.2,427 words ·2,300 views ·283 likes ·8 dislikes
  • Working On Leaving The LivingCelestia is very sick, and wants Twilight by her side.1,779 words ·2,050 views ·312 likes ·14 dislikes

There Was Once More Here

Clown Prince Of Crime

#587238 · 37m, 46s ago ·   ·   ·    

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension— a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into Regidar's Profile.

All you need to know about me in one.gif

[6/4/13 11:06:49 AM] The Commander: Youre like a 7 year old, but with the looks of a steryotipical beach douche.

[7/3/13 7:26:10 AM] Apple Bot™: He's like a cockroach

[7/3/13 7:26:15 AM] Apple Bot™: Useless, but fun to kill!

[3:48:44 AM] Shaggydar: taylor swift writes songs about my clopfics

There was once text here, but it grew old and moldy, so I recycled it.

"I've been singing Fall Out boy like nobody's business and it's all your fault!  So thank you."  ~Ponky

My own personal theme!

Like, I have my own church. Cool.

Thanks to Approver!

Thanks to Osama Bin Ladin!

Thanks to Plyxe, dat sexy bastard.

A heartwarming video:

Awesome Nirvana Parody!

Thanks to Chuckward!

Thanks to Art Inspired!

Thanks to Ponky!

Thanks to the parasprite!

A completely non-sexual picture of Rarity and Kurt Cobain:

And just for some diversity, My Chemical Romance.

We'll miss you, Ponky.

All in all:


And just remember:



First Dream · 8:38pm

Alright, so I rarely dream. Usually I fall asleep, and then I wake up and suddenly the sun's shining and shit. I used to have dreams all the time, but for the past 8 months or whatever, nothing.

Until last night.

Last night I had this dream about one of my best friends dying. In retrospect, I should have thought it was a dream while I was dreaming it, especially considering the end of the dream was me running from the cops onto this destroyed bridge, jumping down into the water, swimming under the bridge, and climbing back up onto the main part to have lunch with my family all while "A Decade Under The Influence" by Taking Back Sunday was playing, but... the rest of the dream was REALLY convincing. There was some weird satanic shit going on in part of it, I had to burn a house down, I was in school three weeks early.. all the works of a really terrifying dream.

However, my friend didn't die because of anything supernatural or murderous or anything, he just ended up crashing his mountain bike and dying. It was pretty awful, actually, because I was so certain it was real. I remembering feeling actual sorrow and emotional pain, and I think I might've cried

So either:

1. my brain hates me

2. I can see the future and I better tell my friend to stay the fuck away from mountain bikes

3. aliens

Either way, that dream was really bizarre and feelsy, and it's a shame I don't remember more of it because there were a lot of cool/interesting parts despite the emotional content.

Regidar · 86 views · Report

No Kings

  • A Wolf at the Door A strange visitor comes to Apple Bloom, and offers friendship. by Regidar 2,687 words · 964 views · 98 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Cute Without The "E" Babs Seed shows Apple Bloom around a part of Manehatten. by Regidar 3,980 words · 1,860 views · 260 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Golden/Silver Shine Silver Spoon comes to terms with the life she's made for herself. by Regidar 2,413 words · 480 views · 45 likes · 4 dislikes
  • The Ghost Vinyl's home is haunted. by Regidar 2,676 words · 1,204 views · 143 likes · 7 dislikes

Words Words Words

#1285626 · 3h, 36m ago · · ·

>>1285046 3cute7me

#1273198 · 1w, 5h ago · · ·

>>1272861 it's for the best the first one is gone

as for the second one, if we've got a comment deleter, oh ho ho...

#1272958 · 1w, 8h ago · · ·


Bleakness can be a bummer, all right.  Let me know if your writing gets Too Serious and I'll put some humorous captions in Impact font on top of pony pictures as an antidote.  :derpytongue2:

#1272861 · 1w, 10h ago · · ·

What happened with that guy on that Vinyl fic? The one that had rape? I saw he was getting a little butthurt over a few dislikes and you gave him a few pointers.

But it's gone now. I was actually going to give it a go...


And your comment on the other rape fic with Rarity seems to have been deleted. Huh.

#1272829 · 1w, 11h ago · · ·

>>1272814 yay

they pretty much are

was planning a pretty bleak fic though and i bummed myself out

#1272814 · 1w, 12h ago · · ·


Oh, I just got to catching up on FiMFiccy things after a couple of weeks away, so it's just a general hug with the hopes that things are cooler for you now.  :twilightsmile:

#1272811 · 1w, 12h ago · · ·

>>1272797 oh wow random displays of affection

thank you

why is this

#1272797 · 1w, 13h ago · · ·

*Spontaneously hugs*

*then throws a pillow*

#1272766 · 1w, 14h ago · · ·

>>1272753 no problem

I get that a lot, predictably.

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Well, He's Gone · 7:01am

Ponky has logged out for the last time for the next two years.

And you know what the strangest thing is?



There were two.

One was obvious, Shortskirtsandexplosions.

But why me?


Was it me?

I will not reveal the PM in full, as I wish to respect both out privacies. But here are the two parts that stuck out:

Maybe it's because of the genuineness of your comments on everything I do.  Maybe it's because your so passionate about music, or are also obsessed with a really talented dude, or just because you've been so incredibly nice to me.  One way or another, out of all the goodbyes I'm getting and all the people I could send a final PM to, you stand above the crowd.

Ponky, what is this?

You make me blush.

There's something really cool about you.  You're an intelligent kid, and that comes across even when you're being a troll.  heheh.  It's an impressive thing--your personality just shines over the internet.  I like to think that I have that gift, too, and it's truly a rare one.  Some people are just dull online, y'know?  But you... you really shine.  It's quite a cool thing to witness on my end.

Thanks for being you, y'know?  Thanks for being honest and real.  There are too many things in my life that feel pretend, fake, secret.  People like you and Skirts who just do stuff you feel strongly about... it's amazing to me.  I'm so impressed, and so inspired.

Seriously man, stahp. Oh gos... I promised not to cry.

A kid who put out his highly biased opinion on the internet got this? In what world is this fair?

Ponky, pls. You flatter me to no end.

Aw, shit. I put almost the entire PM in here. Sorry, Ponky, but the word must get out. I am truly moved by this, and I hope I didn't offend you. I'm just so happy you took the time to... do this for me. *choke*

In no way is this put to make people feel inadequate... It's just that...

Aw, fuck. I can't even type coherently. Thanks, Ponky. You lovable Mormon you.

Thank you, Regidar.  Wherever you go and whatever you do, I hope your life is long and full of joy, happiness, contentment... you could even say... nirvana.

T-that... bastard...

Goodbye Ponky...

Thank you, Ponky. I must say that I do tell tales of your unriveled talent in the world. I shall listen to Space is a Waste many times over for the next 730 days.

That's only... 17,520 hours.

1,051,200 minutes.

620,072,000 seconds.

I'll be counting.

Regidar · 920 views · Edited 76w, 2d ago · Report

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us!