1. Member Since 12th May, 2012
  2. offline for 6h, 21m


And in the end, I'll do it all again

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The Regidarians

1,842 members follow Regidar

Regidar follows 122 members

Everything Pure And Spiteful

Authors I like:

Art Inspired— Wonderful author, better friend

Bronystories— writes what he wants, when he wants, and helped get me noticed

Shortskirtsandexplosions— Unparalleled writing talent, interesting individual

Chuckward— A god amongst men [BANNED ;~;]

TheOnly— First person to gain a watch from me, his comedic skill is beyond amazing

Fiddlebottoms— He's... something else, all right

Midnightdancer— One of the most talented and lovely people on the site, personally responsible for making sure I didn't end up a complete shit

Ponky— Talent splashed all over the place. Plus, dat voice.

Ethesto— A god among Chuckwards

Authors I don't like in general: Device Heretic— He's an attention seeking asshole

Authors I hate: Mallajong1— Plagiarist and copy/paste writer of the same popular story over and over [BANNED]

Divide— Treats his followers like shit, has quit more times than a meth junky "trying" to stay clean, deleted and re-upvoted his stories more than once, and used alts to upvote his stories.

Authors I despise:  Kingofsquirrelz— Complete asshole, terrible writer, surrounded by an even stupider plethora of fans [BANNED]

Reality Check— Asshole, rides off the coattails of other people's works

Carnival of Comedy

  • Momma Kurt Cobain Momma Kurt gets a heavenly visit. by BlackSnowyOwl 0 words · 0 views · 2 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Onions Vinyl Scratch and her donkey companion must reach an onion hidden beneath Canterlot palace before it's too late. Unfortunately, princess Celestia and her swarm of guards aren't too keen on letting them in. by Transvaginal mEshThesto 10,567 words · 1,013 views · 90 likes · 27 dislikes
  • OH JESUS! The new My Little Dashie. by Chuckward 3,279 words · 1,758 views · 108 likes · 112 dislikes

Title Based On Followers

Less than 100: Unknown

100-200: Known

200-300: Big League

300-400: Awesome Sauce

400-500: Shining Beacon of Literature

500-600: One of the Greats

600-700: King

700-800: Demigod

800-900: Hero of the Site

900-1000: Legend

1000-2000: Godly

2000+: Ellimist(Good), Crayak(Bad)

Current title: Godly

Crappy Comedies

Places To Do And Shit To Be


The Hurting · 9:41am

Today I was faced with a very tough situation.

I must say, I never knew that I could hurt so much. I never knew that I could feel so much emotion for another person. Someone I love and whom I owe a lot to is in a lot of pain and suffering, and I'm helpless to their situation. All I can do is sit back and watch as everything spirals down, out of control, out power, out of... life.

And it feels so bad, so very bad.

It helped me realize something, though. I have been squandering my life away. They were not dealt a very good deck in life, but they persevered and came through. Meanwhile, what do I do? I put off my schoolwork to be with my fans, and lie about a tragic life I pretend to lead.

I suppose now is when I'm going to come clean about something I have lied to about on several occasions. I do not blame you if you unwatch me after this, because in all truths, I am a liar and a thief. I steal from others' tragedies and make them my own, and lie to people who supposedly care about me.

In any case where I have told any of you (my newer watchers might not know about this) about my friend being shot, or my other friend dying in a surf accident, those were lies. I lied to gather attention, because as many of you may already know, I am simply a giant attention whore. I am so sorry I lied to you all, because if I treat my watchers like this, I'm no better than device heretic. I hope you all can forgive me for that.

However, in the past where I've brought up my depression, that is all very real. At times, I'll just be washed over by a great feeling of sorrow, and wonder to myself where everything is going. I haven't totally screwed myself over yet, so I still have to to get my academic life back on track. I need to make it a priority over my ponywords, because this won't last forever. Not that my academic life will either, but that will impact my life far more than this site could ever hope to, unless somehow I land a job getting my original fiction published through someone on this site, but that probably won't happen.

I don't know why I'll be happy one moment, then feel crippling depression the next; maybe I'm just done with filling out my "No Surprises" life where I do the same routine day in and day out, waking up feeling empty and going to bed feeling like I did something wrong; maybe I'm tired of staying awake every night dwelling on the sorrow of others and how I dare to feel bad for myself when far better people than I are being shot in the face by life; maybe I'm just tired of living on an island in the middle of the ocean with no one around who wants to be with me, in a culture that is so repressive intellectually.

I feel too much, and I think too little. To quote Kurt Cobain: "I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else." That's probably why I became a writer, to distract myself from the soul crushing bordom of the every-day. I used to adventure with my friends, we used to draw and play games and climb the ivy, but now I'm left with fond memories and the taste of nostalgia in my mouth. Which isn't so bad, I guess.

Allow to quote the genius Cobain once more: “There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.”  And it's true. I act like I hate the world, and I hate people, but I don't. I don't hate... anyone, to be honest. I forgive easily. Even people like KingofSquirrelz I'd be willing to forgive provided they gave me the chance. The simple fact is, I hate having enemies, and I hate people hating me. My personality often drives people off because of weird sense of humor and my inappropriate timing and my arrogant nature that characterize it, but I still want to accept everyone as my friend. That's why I simply cannot bring myself to harm another. I don't want to be forever remembered as the person who beat the shit out of that one kid, or shoved that other kid into the road. You might say "Well, they deserved it! They were an asshole!" or "Better to be remembered for something bad then for nothing at all!" And to this, I say no, because I want to be remembered for something good, and people judge far too easily for me to afford having bad on my track record. Trust me, I speak from experience, which is why I no longer indulge in the public school system, as every seemed incapable of realizing that 8th grade me was not the same as 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade me, the last time any of those losers saw me.

So if any of you stuck around through that, thank you. I still am in pain from earlier, because that person really does mean a lot to me and I'm not sure if I could bear to lose them. The Hurting continues, and it won't ever truly subside, but I've got enough diversions to distract me from the sorrow for long enough.

Feel free to post down in the comments about your own hurting if you wish. Do remember this, though:

When you've suffered enough

And your spirit is breaking

You're growing desperate from the fight

Remember you're loved

And you always will be

Regidar · 1,185 views · Edited 89w, 5d ago · Report

The Antlers Saga

  • His Thorn on the Rose Caramel is in love with Roseluck, but she can't return the feelings. by Regidar 4,778 words · 1,490 views · 160 likes · 11 dislikes
  • He Gave Her A Rose He gave her a rose. She began to understand. by Regidar 1,192 words · 1,523 views · 252 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Hospice Caramel deals with several very unhealthy relationships. by Regidar 9,519 words · 793 views · 128 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Cold War Caramel spends Hearth's Warming's Eve, Hearth's Warming Day, and The Day After in a state of perpetual flux. by Regidar 5,407 words · 296 views · 26 likes · 5 dislikes

The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best

  • Austraeoh Rainbow Dash flies east. by Imploding Colon 212,744 words · 16,348 views · 1,336 likes · 47 dislikes
  • I Need You To Be Brave Grief happens differently for different creatures. For Spike the dragon, it is an unending ache as he remembers the pony he loved best. by MidnightDancer 3,066 words · 2,022 views · 278 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Happy Ending I was pretty happy with my life. Then I got a filly. Now... I'm not so sure. by plumander 4,552 words · 552 views · 66 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Nothing Shocks Me Anymore Things get a little weird when a crazy pony starts a diary. by SusieBeeca 6,397 words · 660 views · 44 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Discord's Ant Farm Awakening after the apocalypse, Discord searches for a purpose in a barren Equestria. by Fiddlebottoms 2,619 words · 1,244 views · 118 likes · 7 dislikes

The Boy Also Writes

  • E Ice Paved Trees

    Applejack heads off into the apple orchard after a heavy snowfall.  · Regidar
    2,028 words · 190 views  ·  59  ·  0
  • E Through The Door

    Princess Luna, intrigued by the mirror in the bottom of the Crystal Palace, looks down into her own fears.  · Regidar
    2,977 words · 366 views  ·  57  ·  3
  • T Growing Up

    Rumble turns seventeen.  · Regidar
    2,713 words · 179 views  ·  31  ·  4
  • E Also Frightened

    Scootaloo and Rumble take a walk out into the foothills north of Ponyville.  · Regidar
    1,257 words · 370 views  ·  51  ·  2
  • T Chalkpocalypse

    A chronicling of the lost land of Chalkandia and its luckless inhabitants.  · Regidar
    1,080 words · 368 views  ·  78  ·  3
  • E Hold Me, I'm Scared

    Sweetie Belle awakens in the middle of the night, and Rarity rushes to comfort her.  · Regidar
    1,321 words · 595 views  ·  81  ·  10
  • T Things Fall Apart

    As the chaos war draws to an end, Celestia may have to admit defeat.  · Regidar
    1,431 words · 452 views  ·  44  ·  3
  • T Take This Pill

    Pinkie Pie, in the midst of depressing, seeks out the help of a callous doctor.  · Regidar
    1,880 words · 477 views  ·  50  ·  11
  • E Rainbow Dash and the Power of Imagination

    Rainbow Dash is forced to exercise her imagination muscles by dimension-hopping hippie lizards.  · Regidar
    1,705 words · 545 views  ·  76  ·  3
  • T Derek

    Discord goes down to visit Tirek in Tartarus.  · Regidar
    2,051 words · 787 views  ·  70  ·  7

There Was Once More Here

Clown Prince Of Crime

#587238 · 37m, 46s ago ·   ·   ·    

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension— a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into Regidar's Profile.

All you need to know about me in one.gif

[6/4/13 11:06:49 AM] The Commander: Youre like a 7 year old, but with the looks of a steryotipical beach douche.

[7/3/13 7:26:10 AM] Apple Bot™: He's like a cockroach

[7/3/13 7:26:15 AM] Apple Bot™: Useless, but fun to kill!

[3:48:44 AM] Shaggydar: taylor swift writes songs about my clopfics

There was once text here, but it grew old and moldy, so I recycled it.

"I've been singing Fall Out boy like nobody's business and it's all your fault!  So thank you."  ~Ponky

My own personal theme!

Like, I have my own church. Cool.

Thanks to Approver!

Thanks to Osama Bin Ladin!

Thanks to Plyxe, dat sexy bastard.

A heartwarming video:

Awesome Nirvana Parody!

Thanks to Chuckward!

Thanks to Art Inspired!

Thanks to Ponky!

Thanks to the parasprite!

A completely non-sexual picture of Rarity and Kurt Cobain:

And just for some diversity, My Chemical Romance.

We'll miss you, Ponky.

All in all:

And just remember:



I'm gonna be frank with you all, I really don't like making these kinds of blog posts. I really wish I didn't have to, but due to some interactions that consistently happen juxtaposed with how I feel about myself a lot of the time, I feel like I have to, if only to get some piece of mind from myself.

Some of you might not be well versed on Fimfiction history, either from lack of caring or from being new or whatever, but I rose to popularity here on the site in the fall on 2012, when I was 14 and (just barely) 15 years old. Unless you're blessed to live in some sort of fantasy realm, children of that age are not known for being exceptionally mature. And I wasn't. I posted a lot around the site, on pretty much every story, and I made a name for myself with my fascination for the band Nirvana. And I got popular. I remember getting something like 26 followers in one day, on a day when I hadn't posted any stories for a while.

On that subject, people weren't really there for the stories. I wrote and posted stuff, but the majority of people wanted to follow my "crazy antics" (and I know some of you guys are still around). I didn't mind it at the time, but over time, it would prove to be something that would grate on me. I really wish I had been known for something else.

I say this because a lot of people still see me as that 14 year old boy with too much free time. In 2013 (at age 15, predominantly) I wrote a lot of absurd comedy stories that left a lot of people with a sour taste in there mouth. So, after a while of doing that, I decided I wanted to be known for writing quality stories. And that's when I switched off to writing more serious stories, as the last year held. I did it even though writing those crapfics are fun for me. I love writing them. Writing serious stories with more heft in not that fun for me, but I do it anyway because I want to at least be something reputable to people. And people like them; my ten highest rated stories are almost all rated for "Everyone" and have 300-500 likes.

And still many people think I only write crapfics.

This distresses me for many reasons, but the most prevalent of them is that when I have the privilege of being with people whom I look up to, say on skype, or in comment sections, or on threads, a lot of these people... don't like me. A lot of people who are in the fimfic "upper class", so to speak, look down on me. They talk down to me, and in general, they don't consider me a person who they want to be around.

I want to be around them, so I try to be friendly. I do have an odd, often callous sense of humor, but I try and make sure it doesn't get in the way of things. Unfortunately... I guess it does, because I don't make a good impression on a lot of folks in these groups that I aspire to be a part of. There are certain subcultures of fimfiction that are more desirable than others, and I'm trying to become a part of them. The ones that actually want me around I can't stand, because they're full of people who remind me of who I was and who I am trying to get away from.

And it's not always for fimfiction related things. Sometimes when I do something as innocuous as discuss my music taste, I get kicked to the curb. I'm passionate about music; I want to create it, and I want to talk about it. Unfortunately for me, music communities online are very vitriolic and memey (/mu/, and any subreddit), or only enjoy very entry level things, and don't foster an environment of looking for new music for the fear of being "hipster". So I try and find people who like music like I do, and try to talk to them about it, but from experience, it's only an annoyance to people and makes me out to be a burden on them with boring conversation.

I suppose it could be a carried over stigma on who I am, but I don't know anymore.

I am often told that I would fare better if I started up a new account. The truth of the matter is that I don't want to do that because I need to accept who I am in relation to fimfiction. I shouldn't just abandon everything because of things I did in the past; running away from issues usually doesn't help, unless that issue is a serial killer or a tsunami.

That Regidar happened, but that doesn't mean he's the same Regidar who struggles to write stories that he hopes people will consider noteworthy. That Regidar is long gone, and now I'm trying to be someone who can be a productive member of this community, and who can be considered to be someone of actual worth.

But you have to let me in.

If you remember me or think of me as that person, I need you to let go of that. I am not them anymore. If for whatever reason you still see me as that person, and want me to be that person, then you're out of luck. I haven't been that person in ages.

And I promise, I will try and be good to you back.

Regidar · 269 views · Report

No Kings

  • Also Frightened Scootaloo and Rumble take a walk out into the foothills north of Ponyville. by Regidar 1,257 words · 370 views · 51 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Cute Without The "E" Babs Seed shows Apple Bloom around a part of Manehatten. by Regidar 3,980 words · 2,197 views · 270 likes · 21 dislikes
  • The Ghost Vinyl's home is haunted. by Regidar 2,676 words · 1,409 views · 151 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Viewing 4,651 - 4,660 of 4,660
#4,659 · 1w, 3d ago · · ·

ur fat


#4,658 · 2w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1607301 this is mankind's greatest achievement

>>1607968 k

#4,655 · 2w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1606720 I like the shins, but they're really basic indie folk

haven't listened to ween

#4,654 · 2w, 3d ago · · ·

Thoughts on The Shins and/or Ween?

#4,651 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1599551 Oh

that was my second guess

I'm sorry for not being really social but I'm not in a very good way right now

  • Viewing 4,651 - 4,660 of 4,660
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Well, He's Gone · 7:01am

Ponky has logged out for the last time for the next two years.

And you know what the strangest thing is?



There were two.

One was obvious, Shortskirtsandexplosions.

But why me?


Was it me?

I will not reveal the PM in full, as I wish to respect both out privacies. But here are the two parts that stuck out:

Maybe it's because of the genuineness of your comments on everything I do.  Maybe it's because your so passionate about music, or are also obsessed with a really talented dude, or just because you've been so incredibly nice to me.  One way or another, out of all the goodbyes I'm getting and all the people I could send a final PM to, you stand above the crowd.

Ponky, what is this?

You make me blush.

There's something really cool about you.  You're an intelligent kid, and that comes across even when you're being a troll.  heheh.  It's an impressive thing--your personality just shines over the internet.  I like to think that I have that gift, too, and it's truly a rare one.  Some people are just dull online, y'know?  But you... you really shine.  It's quite a cool thing to witness on my end.

Thanks for being you, y'know?  Thanks for being honest and real.  There are too many things in my life that feel pretend, fake, secret.  People like you and Skirts who just do stuff you feel strongly about... it's amazing to me.  I'm so impressed, and so inspired.

Seriously man, stahp. Oh gos... I promised not to cry.

A kid who put out his highly biased opinion on the internet got this? In what world is this fair?

Ponky, pls. You flatter me to no end.

Aw, shit. I put almost the entire PM in here. Sorry, Ponky, but the word must get out. I am truly moved by this, and I hope I didn't offend you. I'm just so happy you took the time to... do this for me. *choke*

In no way is this put to make people feel inadequate... It's just that...

Aw, fuck. I can't even type coherently. Thanks, Ponky. You lovable Mormon you.

Thank you, Regidar.  Wherever you go and whatever you do, I hope your life is long and full of joy, happiness, contentment... you could even say... nirvana.

T-that... bastard...

Goodbye Ponky...

Thank you, Ponky. I must say that I do tell tales of your unriveled talent in the world. I shall listen to Space is a Waste many times over for the next 730 days.

That's only... 17,520 hours.

1,051,200 minutes.

620,072,000 seconds.

I'll be counting.

Regidar · 1,045 views · Edited 103w, 4d ago · Report

Hairspray Queens