1. Member Since 12th May, 2012
  2. offline for 1d, 21h

"The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise."- David Wallace


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The Regidarians

2,116 members follow Regidar

Regidar follows 130 members

Carnival of Comedy

  • Onions Vinyl Scratch and her donkey companion must reach an onion hidden beneath Canterlot palace before it's too late. Unfortunately, princess Celestia and her swarm of guards aren't too keen on letting them in. by Good Christian Ethesto 10,567 words · 1,262 views · 93 likes · 28 dislikes
  • OH JESUS! The new My Little Dashie. by Chuckward 3,279 words · 2,250 views · 108 likes · 117 dislikes

Crappy Comedies

Places To Do And Shit To Be

The Antlers Saga

  • His Thorn on the Rose Caramel is in love with Roseluck, but she can't return the feelings. by Regidar 4,778 words · 1,835 views · 173 likes · 12 dislikes
  • He Gave Her A Rose He gave her a rose. She began to understand. by Regidar 1,192 words · 1,932 views · 269 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Hospice Caramel deals with several very unhealthy relationships. by Regidar 9,519 words · 1,007 views · 132 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Cold War Caramel spends Hearth's Warming's Eve, Hearth's Warming Day, and The Day After in a state of perpetual flux. by Regidar 5,407 words · 413 views · 28 likes · 5 dislikes

The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best

  • Austraeoh Rainbow Dash flies east. by Imploding Colon 212,744 words · 25,565 views · 1,948 likes · 68 dislikes
  • I Need You To Be Brave Grief happens differently for different creatures. For Spike the dragon, it is an unending ache as he remembers the pony he loved best. by MidnightDancer 3,066 words · 2,954 views · 316 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Happy Ending I was pretty happy with my life. Then I got a filly. Now... I'm not so sure. by plumander 4,552 words · 1,468 views · 134 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Nothing Shocks Me Anymore Things get a little weird when a crazy pony starts a diary. by SusieBeeca 6,397 words · 1,290 views · 69 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Discord's Ant Farm Awakening after the apocalypse, Discord searches for a purpose in a barren Equestria. by Fiddlebottoms 2,619 words · 1,895 views · 148 likes · 6 dislikes

The Boy Also Writes

  • E When You Were God

    Princess Celestia isn't God, and yet they still treat her like she is.  · Regidar
    1,021 words · 453 views  ·  54  ·  7
  • T Oh Baby

    Big Mac takes the Cake Twins out for a romantic night on the town.  · Regidar
    1,804 words · 807 views  ·  57  ·  66
  • T The Inadequacy

    Shining Armor's anxiety mounts as his wife's due date draws ever closer.  · Regidar
    6,038 words · 2,788 views  ·  284  ·  14
  • T Spanksgiving

    Every year in the late fall, Pinkie Pie indulges in a tradition that the others have grown quite tired of.  · Regidar
    1,849 words · 839 views  ·  67  ·  11 · sex
  • E Gathering Storm

    Rainbow Dash sets a storm into motion.  · Regidar
    2,146 words · 373 views  ·  48  ·  1
  • T Weight

    Twilight Sparkle is completely fine, regardless of whatever she thinks.  · Regidar
    1,739 words · 2,557 views  ·  219  ·  16
  • T Oneohtrix Point Never

    Twilight Sparkle discovers a strange, new set of caverns under her castle.  · Regidar
    5,685 words · 508 views  ·  61  ·  8
  • T I Ragrit Nothing

    Pinkie Pie gets Twilight's feedback on a new change she's undertaken.  · Regidar
    1,164 words · 1,193 views  ·  114  ·  11
  • T Twinkies

    Pinkie pries Twilight away from the blissful arms of sleep in order to solve a delectable disaster.  · Regidar
    2,572 words · 1,960 views  ·  177  ·  13
  • E Sail To The Moon

    Luna reconciles her emotions with her place in the world.  · Regidar
    2,446 words · 689 views  ·  81  ·  5

Neon Tiger

Clown Prince Of Crime

#587238 · 37m, 46s ago ·   ·   ·    

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension— a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into Regidar's Profile.

All you need to know about me in one.gif

[7/3/13 7:26:10 AM] Apple Bot™: He's like a cockroach

[7/3/13 7:26:15 AM] Apple Bot™: Useless, but fun to kill!

"I've been singing Fall Out boy like nobody's business and it's all your fault!  So thank you."  ~Ponky

Title based on followers (circa 2012)

Less than 100: Unknown

100-200: Known

200-300: Big League

300-400: Awesome Sauce

400-500: Shining Beacon of Literature

500-600: One of the Greats

600-700: King

700-800: Demigod

800-900: Hero of the Site

900-1000: Legend

1000-2000: Godly

2000+: Ellimist (Good), Crayak (Bad)

Current title: Godly

Courtesy of Plyxe

Courtesy of Zaid Valroa

Beat Your Meat Into A Hasty Retreat


Now if you're like me, you love to just fucking saturate your body with anything that will alter your perception of reality because facing the truth of the world is far too painful and beyond your pathetic abilities as a mentally stunted, possibly inbred middle-class loser.

But again, if you're anything like me, you can't buy alcohol legally and the only other option is to go to ragers, and those are full of people. Drinking in groups is incredibly depressing, and I can't recommend it to anyone in good consciousness. Personally, I find that being completed isolated from pretty much everyone is the best way to get absolutely wasted, so I usually lock myself in the bathroom. A closet, large cabinet, or air duct also works.

Of course, there's the issue of the alcohol. If you're old enough to get some, what the fuck are you doing on a My Little Pony fanfic site? I mean, come on dude, it may have been funny for a little while during high school, but it's time to fucking grow up, mane. Get a job, start showering, and maybe your parents will stop feeling like they wasted two decades raising you.

Assuming you are underage, just pop down to your nearest hardware store and chances are they'll have 16 fluid ounce bottles of Isopropyl Alcohol just chilling out where anyone can grab them. Best thing is, they don't even check I.D.s! I thought this was just the case back home, because no one gives a fuck about anything in Hawaii, but when I moved to San Francisco a few weeks ago, I found out that the hardware stores here also sell alcohol to minors. I guess it might be some sort of universal hardware store code? Whatever, I'm not complaining; I've had a lot of fun nights thanks to them, and you will too!

But yeah, you can get a 16 floz bottle for like $2.50, it's fucking awesome. If you live in California (god bless), there's also no sales tax, so you'll be feeling pretty great when you pick up two or three dozen at a time. You can almost feel your bank account quivering in gratitude! Almost...

Once you've got your alcohol, head back to your place of residence, and lock yourself in your isolation chamber of choice. Keep in mind that once you're drunk, you'll want some good-time-supplies, since drunk people are easily amused, and it's no fun spending a drunken night in an uncomfortably small space with nothing to entertain you. I'd recommend the following three items:

1. Rope, to practice tying knots. Little known fakt™: alcohol improves your fine motor skills around knot tying; scientists still aren't sure why.

2. Razorblades, so you can shave any unsightly hairs that may have cropped up on your face, arms, top of the head, back of the legs, or on the underside of your gums. Little known fakt™: Alcohol stimulates the hair follicles and promotes hair growth, which is why men stricken by male pattern baldness tend to turn to drinking.

3. A gun, which you can use to end your own life should the depression become too intense.

Once you've ensconced yourself inside your hidey-hole with your alcohol and good-time-supplies, you're ready for a night of drinking. Have fun!

Honestly I'm at a loss as to why more people don't do this

You get fucking smashed, dog

Half the time I'm so drunk I can't even see

So that's pretty much it; join me next week as I detail to you the best way to combat a hangover!

It's just a prank bro

Report Regidar · 93 views ·

The World Is Quiet (Here)

  • Sail To The Moon Luna reconciles her emotions with her place in the world. by Regidar 2,446 words · 689 views · 81 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Cute Without The "E" Babs Seed shows Apple Bloom around a part of Manehatten. by Regidar 3,980 words · 2,841 views · 290 likes · 23 dislikes
  • The Ghost Vinyl's home is haunted. by Regidar 2,676 words · 1,890 views · 165 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Viewing 5,376 - 5,385 of 5,385
#5,384 · 5d, 22h ago · · ·


btw i saw swans last month and shook gira's hand

got him to sign a copy of drainland for me

get rekt skrub

I had a beer with the guy at his solo show, shook his hand, almost rode in his tour van.

Want some ointment for that destroyed anus?

#5,383 · 6d, 13m ago · · ·

>>2320256 >kiwi farms

there is no hope for you

btw i saw swans last month and shook gira's hand

got him to sign a copy of drainland for me

get rekt skrub

#5,382 · 6d, 20h ago · · ·


you get the idea of what kind of person she is

I do. I do indeed.

#5,381 · 6d, 21h ago · · ·

>>2320151 she was salty that i wanted to write a parody of fallout equestria entitled "Fallout: spaghestria"

this was 4 years ago

no prior interaction

didn't even respond to my comment, just blocked me


you get the idea of what kind of person she is

#5,380 · 1w, 1h ago · · ·


They have some longer ones I think, but this tune is one of the best imo

lol why did Kkat block you by the way?

#5,379 · 1w, 1h ago · · ·

>>2319877 >only 16 minutes


#5,377 · 2w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2309213 unf

thanks fam

#5,376 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·

This is, on a small scale, kinda illegal, but fuck it, when have you been a shmuck?

Just in case you can't get your hands on this shit. Sorry I lagged up your page. :heart:

  • Viewing 5,376 - 5,385 of 5,385
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