darf

Joined April 2012
2,733 followers
568,570 story views
24w, 14h ago

things you should read (non-sexy version)

things you should read (sexy version)

words

  • Same LoveBraeburn comes to terms with who he is. The ponies he cares about do the same, though some of them with more ease than others.20,825 words ·869 views ·95 likes ·11 dislikes
  • Unfamiliar SkinI've arrived. I can only faintly hear the hive. Mother's voice is gone from my ears. But I know I have a purpose—I just can't remember what it is.6,246 words ·1,774 views ·247 likes ·11 dislikes
  • As the Days GoPinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle have a house by the shore together. Many years have gone by. Sometimes, every day is hard.3,552 words ·3,077 views ·274 likes ·17 dislikes
  • A Single StepTwilight accidentally steps on a snail. This makes her sad. As the years go on, several other things happen.5,797 words ·3,837 views ·545 likes ·19 dislikes
  • Pony Verse: A Collaborative Collection of Pony PoetryA wide-ranging anthology of verse from nine of FIMFiction's top poets.8,439 words ·1,335 views ·176 likes ·0 dislikes
  • QuotidianTime in Ponyville has broken. Everypony is dealing with it in some way or another—except you. You're fine, somehow. Oh, and me. I suppose that's where things start. Let's be on with it then, shall we?9,626 words ·2,287 views ·256 likes ·17 dislikes
  • BrevityA gesture of appreciation — a song-story from another world — a sudden revelation — a dark time in youth — the sweet sadness of the snow: five short stories about ponos, and the things that happen to them.11,420 words ·502 views ·81 likes ·1 dislikes
  • ΑλεκτροναTwilight wakes up early and journeys across town for morning coffee.5,281 words ·2,643 views ·168 likes ·36 dislikes
  • Sorcicular FornicationThe amazing tale of unbridled passion between a glorious, brilliant, beautiful, loved-by-all-who-are-worthy-of-mention Princess and a lowly, simple-minded earth pony with a nice butt. (FiW!Universe)8,331 words ·2,418 views ·118 likes ·23 dislikes
  • Pieces of a Grey CloudA series of moments from Derpy's life.6,132 words ·3,765 views ·391 likes ·21 dislikes
Sep
15th
2013

it's no secret that i'm a completely stuck up asshole.

wait, let me start over.

it's no secret that i take writing—including fanfiction especially—way too seriously. for most people, writing words about cartoon horses is a hobby, a minor creative outlet, a way to have fun. to me, it's been a way of life. i guess that's the side effect of making it my sole means of creativity for a while.

as such, it's not uncommon that i've espoused a volatile opinion here or there, or said something that stepped on someone's toes in some way or another. i don't mean to imply any inflated sense of worth or importance on myself here—but people have gotten mad at me for various reasons, i've gotten mad at them for just as many, and there have been times where fanfiction, something that's supposed to be wonderful and cheerful, has been miserable.

one of those instances (or several of them, really) has been in regards to 'riffing'. i have to say, as i've said before, that i don't have anything inherently against the concept of a 'riff'—in the same way that i can look at something dumb on the internet or tv and laugh at it with friends, i think sharing in the communal mockery of something in good spirits can be fun. i've never really enjoyed Mystery Science Theater 3000, or Rifftracks, but i understand why people would, and am ready to accept they're just not for me.

what i have a problem with, however, are riffs that constitute little more than personal attacks, or even just reductive, repeated commentary about quality. when people riff something, the idea is to make jokes about the content; references, allusions, or taking the absurd qualities of the content and using them as a launching point for observations. it's not to relentlessly mock the perceived quality of something. watching a movie and saying 'holy cow this is shitty' isn't funny—it's just simple-minded and uninteresting, and the same can be said of writing. that's why i had a problem when reading 'riffs' on some of my stories; repeated things like 'wow look at these big words this guy sure is full of himself', mocking the quality of the writing, word-choice, sentence structure—all of those things should be separate from the premise, which is kind of the point of making fun of something in that way. i don't feel like people 'got it'.

that said, this isn't me giving a dissertation on what comedy is. it's meant to be an apology. for as much as i can say i have justifiable reason to have lashed out at the people who have 'riffed' my stuff in the past, i don't want to hold a grudge anymore. i feel like a creator lashing out because of a perceived insult against themselves or their work is a lot more justifiable than personal attacks over a perceived grandiloquence—but that's not really the issue.

i want to say i'm sorry. i take myself too seriously. i take writing, and especially fanfiction, too seriously. i don't want to harbour any ill will to people who were using my stories as a vessel to have fun, or to make other people laugh. while i fully believe my reactions were not entirely unreasonable, the extent to which i construed mockings of my work as a personal attack is not acceptable. while things turned into legitimate personal attacks later, i feel if i had started out on the right foot and not blown up by being overly sensitive in the first place, things would have gone much better in the long run.

to that end: people reading this who i've pissed off in this fashion—i'm sorry. consider this a wholesale apology. i'd like very much to bury the hatchet and go to bed knowing i'm bowing my head and wishing to make amends to anyone i've wronged in this fashion.

if there are any people from this group that i have blocked, please find some way to let me know and i will be happy to unblock you. please take full license to make fun of my stories as much as you want in whatever fashion, though again i will say that i feel the difference between mocking the content and mocking the author is what makes a good joke.

if you're unwilling to accept my apology, i understand, but would like to extend it regardless.

and, to anyone who has no idea what the fuck i'm talking about, is wondering why i'm not posting more porn, or who just wants me to shut up—sorry to you guys too. i'll stop typing here.

darf · 1,546 views · Report

stuff i'm sort of proud of (not just for sex)

stuff i wrote that is pretty okay horse sex

Commissions

Current queue status: Closed

Slot 1: Closed

Slot 2: Closed

i write horse porn and people say i write it pretty well

so if you want something specific, you can throw dollars at me and i'll write it for you

if you want some horse words, PM me the details, including your idea, preferably with as much specificity and fetish info as possible (or you can save that until later discussion, but i'm more likely to accept an idea that seems interesting rather than 'luna x big mac pls'). you can include the ideal word count as well, if you want

Rate: $10/1,000 words

up to the projected word count, and $2/1,000 for every 1k above that, up to a maximum of $6 extra.

i reserve the right to reject any and all ideas.

please put erotic comments about your masturbation here

#1111797 · 1d, 20h ago · · ·

Ppppppppppfffffffffffffffffftttttttttt

#1045085 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

Erotic masturbation.

#1035968 · 6w, 1d ago · 4 · ·

>>972491

what is this 'shame' you speak of.

we are on a page for a user who separates their work via such descriptive things as "Has horse sex" and "Doesn't have horse sex"

#1023764 · 7w, 13h ago · · ·

I SAW PORN AND I CAME HERE AND ALSO I CAME.

Noc
#1009618 · 8w, 1d ago · 7 · 4 ·

It's worrying how long it's been since we've heard from you. Hope all is well, or at least, reasonably tolerable. (And if your absence is in any way linked to haters, I'll find a way to teleport Bruce Banner over, kick 'im in the balls, then sic 'im on 'em.)

Srsly though, take care, whatever you're up to.

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