to whom it may concern (apology) · 6:36pm
it's no secret that i'm a completely stuck up asshole.
wait, let me start over.
it's no secret that i take writing—including fanfiction especially—way too seriously. for most people, writing words about cartoon horses is a hobby, a minor creative outlet, a way to have fun. to me, it's been a way of life. i guess that's the side effect of making it my sole means of creativity for a while.
as such, it's not uncommon that i've espoused a volatile opinion here or there, or said something that stepped on someone's toes in some way or another. i don't mean to imply any inflated sense of worth or importance on myself here—but people have gotten mad at me for various reasons, i've gotten mad at them for just as many, and there have been times where fanfiction, something that's supposed to be wonderful and cheerful, has been miserable.
one of those instances (or several of them, really) has been in regards to 'riffing'. i have to say, as i've said before, that i don't have anything inherently against the concept of a 'riff'—in the same way that i can look at something dumb on the internet or tv and laugh at it with friends, i think sharing in the communal mockery of something in good spirits can be fun. i've never really enjoyed Mystery Science Theater 3000, or Rifftracks, but i understand why people would, and am ready to accept they're just not for me.
what i have a problem with, however, are riffs that constitute little more than personal attacks, or even just reductive, repeated commentary about quality. when people riff something, the idea is to make jokes about the content; references, allusions, or taking the absurd qualities of the content and using them as a launching point for observations. it's not to relentlessly mock the perceived quality of something. watching a movie and saying 'holy cow this is shitty' isn't funny—it's just simple-minded and uninteresting, and the same can be said of writing. that's why i had a problem when reading 'riffs' on some of my stories; repeated things like 'wow look at these big words this guy sure is full of himself', mocking the quality of the writing, word-choice, sentence structure—all of those things should be separate from the premise, which is kind of the point of making fun of something in that way. i don't feel like people 'got it'.
that said, this isn't me giving a dissertation on what comedy is. it's meant to be an apology. for as much as i can say i have justifiable reason to have lashed out at the people who have 'riffed' my stuff in the past, i don't want to hold a grudge anymore. i feel like a creator lashing out because of a perceived insult against themselves or their work is a lot more justifiable than personal attacks over a perceived grandiloquence—but that's not really the issue.
i want to say i'm sorry. i take myself too seriously. i take writing, and especially fanfiction, too seriously. i don't want to harbour any ill will to people who were using my stories as a vessel to have fun, or to make other people laugh. while i fully believe my reactions were not entirely unreasonable, the extent to which i construed mockings of my work as a personal attack is not acceptable. while things turned into legitimate personal attacks later, i feel if i had started out on the right foot and not blown up by being overly sensitive in the first place, things would have gone much better in the long run.
to that end: people reading this who i've pissed off in this fashion—i'm sorry. consider this a wholesale apology. i'd like very much to bury the hatchet and go to bed knowing i'm bowing my head and wishing to make amends to anyone i've wronged in this fashion.
if there are any people from this group that i have blocked, please find some way to let me know and i will be happy to unblock you. please take full license to make fun of my stories as much as you want in whatever fashion, though again i will say that i feel the difference between mocking the content and mocking the author is what makes a good joke.
if you're unwilling to accept my apology, i understand, but would like to extend it regardless.
and, to anyone who has no idea what the fuck i'm talking about, is wondering why i'm not posting more porn, or who just wants me to shut up—sorry to you guys too. i'll stop typing here.