1. Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  2. offline for 15h, 10m

A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree. I also have a Patreon.

Stories

  • T The Mystery of the Cipactli Glyph

    Years before Nightmare Moon's return, Princess Celestia and a young Daring Do need to figure out why ponies are disappearing around Vanhoover.  · Kwakerjak
    4,754 words · 265 views  ·  32  ·  0
  • T Everything, Including the Stars, Is Falling

    Twilight makes a final effort to mend her friendship with Spike.  · Kwakerjak
    3,722 words · 1,525 views  ·  137  ·  12
  • T Transdementia

    Pinkie Pie heads to another world to retrieve the stolen Element of Magic, with Penumbra in tow. ("Equestria Girls" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    75,198 words · 2,827 views  ·  335  ·  26
  • T Further Observations on Chimeric Behavior

    Ember learns why it's never a good idea to make a lovestruck chimera tail angry.  · Kwakerjak
    6,483 words · 1,819 views  ·  162  ·  8
  • T Let's Kill Tirek

    After Tirek destroys Ponyville's library, the chimera from the fire swamp decides to exact the vengeance that the ponies refuse to take.  · Kwakerjak
    9,341 words · 2,688 views  ·  327  ·  7
  • T On the Courtship Behavior of Swamp-Dwelling Chimeras

    Spike somehow ends up on a blind date with the chimera from the fire geyser swamp -- or to be more specific, with its tail.  · Kwakerjak
    6,287 words · 6,522 views  ·  669  ·  10
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.  · Kwakerjak
    127,920 words · 17,121 views  ·  1,818  ·  38
  • T Apex

    A new predator arrives in the fire geyser swamp, challenging the dominance of the chimera.  · Kwakerjak
    5,712 words · 3,353 views  ·  452  ·  5 · gore
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    77,357 words · 14,722 views  ·  1,007  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    13,505 words · 8,426 views  ·  1,050  ·  19
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam  · Kwakerjak
    21,323 words · 3,575 views  ·  426  ·  9
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.  · Kwakerjak
    4,557 words · 9,305 views  ·  1,428  ·  22
  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.  · Kwakerjak
    29,281 words · 23,523 views  ·  2,487  ·  39
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.  · Kwakerjak
    5,213 words · 4,075 views  ·  363  ·  7
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.  · Kwakerjak
    34,747 words · 17,283 views  ·  1,734  ·  30
  • E Petriculture

    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.  · Kwakerjak
    6,716 words · 46,865 views  ·  3,242  ·  46

Influences

This isn't a list of my favorite things; rather it's an incomplete list of things that have directly influenced my storytelling. If you have any questions about how they've influenced me, feel free to leave a comment in my User Page's comment section.


Fiction

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

The Mercury trilogy by Robert Kroese

The plays of William Shakespeare

Nonfiction

Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell

The Genesis of Science by James Hallam

Movies

Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy

The Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Video Games

Persona 4

Music

School of Seven Bells

The New Radicals

The Stone Roses

The entire subgenre of psychedelic trance.

The Petriculture Cycle

  • Petriculture Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works. by Kwakerjak 6,716 words · 46,865 views · 3,242 likes · 46 dislikes
  • Inscape When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her. by Kwakerjak 29,281 words · 23,523 views · 2,487 likes · 39 dislikes
  • Avocation Penumbra seeks gainful employment. by Kwakerjak 4,557 words · 9,305 views · 1,428 likes · 22 dislikes
  • π Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.) by Kwakerjak 13,505 words · 8,426 views · 1,050 likes · 19 dislikes
  • Pandelirium Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.) by Kwakerjak 77,357 words · 14,722 views · 1,007 likes · 25 dislikes

The Really Good Stuff

  • E Dying to Get There

    None of Twilight's friends would be silly enough to believe a newspaper article that claims she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?  · Titanium Dragon
    4,825 words · 18,979 views  ·  2,690  ·  62
  • E The Assumption of Applejack -or- Appletheosis

    Applejack deals with ascension to godhood.  · Blue Print
    34,663 words · 15,814 views  ·  1,445  ·  35
  • E The Moonstone Cup

    Twilight is invited to Canterlot to compete with some of the greatest unicorns in Equestria!  · Cyanide
    61,073 words · 27,229 views  ·  2,664  ·  39
  • E Daring Do and the Secret of the Fourth Wall

    Thrust into the world of her favorite book-series, Rainbow Dash finds herself dragged along for the ride of Daring Do's latest adventure. However, for Rainbow Dash, breaking the fourth wall may very well prove to be a learning experience.  · Ultra-the-HedgeToaster
    35,780 words · 5,413 views  ·  381  ·  5
  • T Sharing the Night

    Twilight becomes alicorn of the stars. This is sort of a problem, because Luna kind of already was alicorn of the stars. Oops!  · Cast-Iron Caryatid
    188,735 words · 37,947 views  ·  3,390  ·  76
  • E Fluttershy Has Tea With Jesus

    Fluttershy and Jesus drink tea and nothing objectionable happens. Not a trollfic.  · Retsamoreh
    2,556 words · 11,011 views  ·  648  ·  31
  • E Flipside

    A retelling of the first two episodes in an Alt. Universe. Spike is the pony, Twilight the dragon.  · Bed Head
    85,211 words · 10,568 views  ·  946  ·  20
  • T Nosflutteratu

    Twilight Sparkle had been looking forward to a quiet, relaxing day with a friend, but when Twilight discovers Fluttershy's appetite for blood, the knowledge proves to be anything but relaxing...  · Charcoal Quill
    14,657 words · 26,887 views  ·  2,357  ·  32
  • T Just Passing Through

    Humans, sailplanes and cloud cities just don't mix very well.  · Caliaponia
    55,898 words · 15,708 views  ·  1,216  ·  29
Nov
24th
2016

Update · 5:49pm

Hey, everyone. I just wanted to let you all know that I've been plugging away at a new story, though I'm not sure when the first chapter will be ready yet. For whatever reason, I decided that there weren't enough adventure stories where Celestia actually did something (and those that did were usually set in the distant past, before Luna was corrupted into Nightmare Moon). For some insane reason, I decided I should rectify the situation and write an adventure story featuring Celestia that takes place before Nightmare Moon's return. I suspect that I will have problems similar to those of writing good Superman comics. I have no idea I'll be able to succeed, but I suppose that's the point of challenging yourself in the first place.

Report Kwakerjak · 77 views ·
  • Viewing 76 - 80 of 80
#80 · 17w, 3d ago · · ·

Nothing here for nearly a year.

The first fanfiction I ever read was Petriculture. Good job.

#79 · 68w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1943720 - Honestly, I should have been following you earlier.

#78 · 68w, 1d ago · · ·

Thanks for the warch! On an unrelated note, my evenings have become a lot less cluttered recently, so I should have fewer problems stopping by to do prereadery things.

#77 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Having seen Party Pooped, I felt that it actually gave credence to the characterization of Pinkie Pie in The Petriculture Cycle. She was the only pony aside from Twilight to do the reading, she's amazingly organized, and she might as well have used imaginary friend powers to go where she did and do as much as she did.

  • Viewing 76 - 80 of 80
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