After her coronation, Twilight must discover just what she's princess of.
Twilight Sparkle has fulfilled her destiny, ascending to alicornhood. But now that she's earned her wings, she faces a troubling question: She's a princess, yes, but princess of what?
Celestia frowned. This was in itself a fairly unusual circumstance. She could maintain a mask of warm neutrality through even the longest winded, most pointless audience the Day Court could throw at her. This was different. This mattered.
"Sister?"
The gentle question shook Celestia out of her own head. Quick as a sunbeam, she took stock of the situation. She'd been pacing outside of Twilight's old suite, reoccupied while the new princess's role in the nation's governance was being determined. A warmth in her horn told her that, driven by centuries of habit, she was setting the sun. And here was Luna, looking at her with concern. Celestia brought up her typical, placid expression, knowing it was far too late to disguise her worry. "Good evening, Luna."
Luna gave her sister a perplexed look. "Have you been here since you dismissed your court?"
"No." Celestia avoided her co-ruler's gaze.
"Have you been searching for Twilight Sparkle since then?"
Princess Celestia, master politician, unparalleled negotiator, architect of Equestrian supremacy, found herself utterly tongue-tied. "Uh, er, well..."
Luna grinned, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "No need to be embarrassed, Sister. You have been as a second mother to her. It is only natural that you would feel a mother's concern."
Celestia relaxed, her rictus becoming an actual relieved smile. "I don't suppose you know where she is?"
Luna nodded. "She was waiting outside my door when I awoke this eve. She asked how she could reenter the Realm Transcendent."
Celestia's eyes widened. "I see..." She looked to the western horizon, seeing through the walls of the castle to her descending charge. "The day is almost done. Can you handle it from here?"
Luna pouted. "Have you already forgotten? I've had to shuttle that overgrown firecracker of yours across the sky for most of this week!"
Celestia has the decency to blush. "Learning from me is something familiar to her, something to keep her hooves on the ground."
"Something you can use to pretend your relationship with her has not changed." Luna's expression soured. "She's earned her wings, Sister. You need to let her spread them."
"She's too powerful to let her experiment freely," Celestia protested. "One foalish mistake, and she—"
"She is the Bearer of Magic," Luna interjected. "If she cannot be trusted with such power, then who?"
"Well..." At that moment, the golden aura around Celestia's horn dissipated, an indigo veil over Luna's taking its place. The elder sister grinned. "You seem to have everything in hoof. 'Kay thanks bye!"
Before Luna could respond, Celestia imploded, receding to a point of brilliant sunlight before shooting heavenwards, the ceiling no more an impediment to her than the walls were to her sight.
Luna sighed. Teacher and student had more in common than either realized. "And now I have to deal with both of them." Shaking her head, she made for the audience chamber. The moon needed raising, Night Court convening, and her subjects' dreams defending. The other alicorns would have to sort out their personal issues themselves.
Celestia manifested in the misty realm "above" Equestria. No rising pegasus could reach this place, but it had borne witness to a truly glorious ascension.
The ascender wasn't far from Celestia's entry point. She found Twilight watching an image like those the sun princess had conjured on the cusp of her student's transformation. Her hooves muffled by the mist and the non-matter of the realm's surface, Celestia snuck up behind Twilight and watched alongside her.
The scene was familiar to both, the entrance exam that had been the first step in Twilight's journey. The two princesses watched silently as uncontrolled arcane power surged forth from the younger Twilight, threatening to consume her until Celestia intervened.
The window to the past vanished. Twilight sighed.
Celestia chose to intervene once more. "You've come immeasurably far since that day, Twilight."
The newest princess jumped. She flapped her wings to slow her descent, giving her time to catch her breath and regain her composure. "Pri– er, Celestia!"
Celestia smiled. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"No, no, it's fine." Now facing her mentor, Twilight gestured behind herself. "From the rainboom to you calming me down, my memories are just one big, purple blur. I wanted to fill in the gap."
"I see." An anxious knot Celestia hadn't even noticed loosened. "Are there any other gaps in your knowledge I could help you with?"
"Well, for one, what is this place?" Twilight flared her wings, trying to encompass the whole misty expanse in the gesture.
Celestia looked off into the distance. A few visible memories flickered in and out of existence as her nostalgia made itself known on the impressionable landscape. "Ancient pegasi called it Whinnysium. Diamond dog transcendentalists know it as Curvana. Modern arcane scholars have named it—"
"The Ethereal Plane." Twilight looked around with fresh amazement. "A layer of reality with a higher fundamental energy than the material cosmos. It's purely theoretical." She reflected on this. "Well, it was. But that doesn't explain why that spell to display past events only works here."
Celestia smiled, easily slipping back into the teacher's role. "This place transcends time as much as space. All of history is here if you wish to see it, and time spent here rarely matches how long you spend away from Equestria."
Twilight pondered this. "Have you ever left before you arrived?"
Celestia shook her head. "The flow of time may be strange and sluggish here, but it always flows forward."
"Oh." Twilight frowned. "What about seeing the future?"
An image appeared to one side. The two alicorns turned to behold a writhing riot of colors, convulsing chaotically. Once the eyesore vanished, a wide-eyed Twilight asked, "What. Was. That?"
"That," replied Celestia, "is Canterlot one year from now."
Twilight gaped at her mentor, eyes wild with fear. "Discord! I knew he couldn't be trusted." Her horn shone with power. "I'll get the girls and—"
"Twilight!" A hint of amusement entered into Celestia's smile. "That was not the work of Discord."
Twilight tilted her head as she tried to puzzle out this conundrum. "Then what was it?"
"Every possible future that could come to pass, all superimposed over one another. After more than a week or two, the myriad paths of possibility become completely illegible."
"I see..."
"Anything else, Princess Sparkle?" Celestia was all but beaming.
Twilight blushed. "Please don't call me that." She shook off her embarrassment. "I know we haven't figured everything just yet, but I need to go to Ponyville for a few days."
"Why is that?"
"There's a lot I could learn from this place, but not before I get permission."
Celestia raised her eyebrows. "Permission? Twilight, you're a princess of Equestria. The world is your sugarcube. From whom could you possibly need permission?"
Twilight looked at her teacher, utterly baffled. As though explaining that water was wet, she answered, "My friends."
"Oh. Of course." Celestia smiled, pride and a hint of shame in the expression. "Already you have much to teach me." She cut off Twilight's sputtered protests with a raised hoof. "Now, you are more than free to return to Ponyville, but while you're there, I have an assignment for you."
"An assignment?"
"Indeed. You must determine the nature of your royal domain."
Twilight looked blank. Worry spread across her face like fire over a dry prairie. "My what?"
Celestia draped a wing over the younger princess. "Don't panic, Twilight. I would be very surprised if you had already known of such things. In essence, your royal domain is the answer to a deceptively simple question: What are you princess of?"
Twilight frowned beneath her downy white blanket. "Equestria?"
"True," allowed Celestia, "but not what I meant. I am princess of the sun, Luna, of the moon, Cadence, of love. What is your unique sphere of influence?"
Twilight opened her mouth to reply, but paused, shut it, and frowned. After a thoughtful moment, she said, "Well..."
"Yes?" Celestia prompted.
"It... just doesn't feel right." Twilight scowled. "I hate to use such vague language, but... it doesn't."
"Then it isn't," Celestia said simply. "Remember, Twilight, you are the first pony to ever transform as you did. Luna and I simply were, and Cadence's birth was one in a trillion. Our cutie marks and domains match because we've always been alicorns. With you, it's clearly more complicated."
Twilight sighed. "Great. It's like finding my cutie mark all over again."
Celestia nuzzled her. "I have every faith that you will discover your domain in short order. Now, let's get back to the palace." She grinned. "You still have to pack, after all!"
Twilight took a deep breath. Of what, she wasn't sure. The Ethereal Plane didn't seem to have much in the way of air, but her body didn't seem to need it, either.
Not the matter at hoof, she chided herself. Focus.
The newest princess closed her eyes and extended more arcane senses. Nearby, she could feel countless points of light, like she was standing in the middle of a tiny galaxy. Most prominent were two complementary presences, light and dark. Twilight noted that the gathered assembly seemed much more tightly concentrated than she'd expected. She'd expected some spacial distortion, but going by this, the walk to Ponyville would be even more convenient than she'd hypothesized.
Twilight extended her awareness. The points of light soon faded from her notice like background noise. Soon, she sensed the biggest directional cue she could think of, an indescribable feeling of difference from the norm that stretched out on the fabric of space, time, and magic like a lazy cat on a throw rug. There was no true malevolence there, more a mild displeasure with everything that wasn't it. It could only be the Everfree Forest. The alicorn felt along the edges of the aberration until she found a point with a soft, welcoming aura. She moved towards it.
As Twilight approached the warm fuzzies, other nearby auras made themselves known to her. Crystalline refinement, sprawling vitality, splendorous confidence, ebullient nonsense, ever-burning diligence... Her soul practically sang a symphony in sympathy. Points of light returned to the princess's awareness, these somehow brighter, more vibrant in their familiarity.
Soon enough, the alicorn was almost on top of the kind presence on the Everfree's border. With an exertion of will and magic, she brought herself back to the material world.
Tortoise Formation looked at the piles of paperwork besieging his desk and sighed. He'd thought himself lucky when he was made Captain of the Guard, Shining Armor having to leave the post to act as Prince-Consort of the Crystal Empire. Unfortunately, it was becoming increasingly clear that Prince Armor had something Captain Formation didn't. It wasn't dedication, talent, or patience. No, it was something much more fundamental.
A horn.
A position this choked in red tape simply wasn't meant for an earth pony. Formation's jaw was already sore after only a few hours, and he was sure his slate-grey muzzle was spattered with ink. The nervous knock at his door was a mixed omen. It would give him a break, but it was in all likelihood somepony delivering even more forms. Damn logistics... "Enter."
A pegasus stallion did so, saluting. His coat was a deep indigo, like the sky moments after the sun sank beneath the horizon, his mane a few shades bluer. The colors, along with the amethyst-chased armor, marked him as a member of the newly formed Perigee Guard, the main source of Formation's headaches. The pegasus's salute, like the regiment itself, was a work in progress. "Second Lieutenant Wind Shear reporting, sir."
Tortoise quirked an eyebrow. "At ease. Where's everypony else?"
Wind Shear's eyes darted about for a moment. Typical pegasus stress response, Formation observed, looking for avenues of escape. "That's, well, that's what I needed to tell you, sir. Princess Twilight has, well..." He trailed off, apparently fascinated by his greaves.
The captain rolled his eyes. "You're not in boot camp anymore, Lieutenant. You're not going to have to do one hundred laps around Canterlot if I don't like the news."
"Yes, sir." Wind Shear still didn't look up. "The princess has, well, gone AWOL, sir."
"I was unaware she'd enlisted."
Shear's head whipped up. Whatever he'd been expecting, a joke wasn't it. "Sir?"
Tortoise Formation pulled another form from the nearest pile and began looking it over. "Last I checked, a civilian, even a royal one, can't be absent without leave."
"Sir, we have a rogue princess."
"I am aware of that, Lieutenant. I am also aware that the princess in question was instrumental in defeating a living shadow, a shapeshifting parasite, an insane alicorn, and a god of chaos. I think she'll be fine." Formation looked up, and a hint of sympathy twinkled in his eyes. "If, however, you wish to know for certain, I recommend you focus your search on Ponyville and the vicinity thereof. Anything else?"
"N-no, sir."
"Then you're dismissed."
Wind Shear saluted and left.
Formation cracked his neck, ran his hoof through his sandstone crew cut, bit down on a fresh quill, and dipped it in the inkwell. If only all problems could be dealt with so easily...
Twilight smiled, quite pleased with herself. "Right on target." Sure enough, she emerged from the Ethereal only a few steps from Fluttershy's front door. She trotted up to it and knocked.
The door opened, and an arm swept her inside. "Twilight Sparkle!" gushed Discord. "Truly, it is an honor. Should I bow? Kneel? Genuflect?"
"What are you doing here?" Twilight cried.
Discord gave a hint of a grin. "Oh, Fluttershy had to attend to a minor emergency. Seems a megaplatypus was waddling out of the Everfree, and she went to make sure it wouldn't accidentally crush Ponyville. I'm housesitting in the interim."
"Megaplatypus?"
"Oh yes, fascinating creatures. Beaver tail, webbed feet, a duckbill with the sense of a shark, the males have venomous spurs, the females lay eggs and give milk. And the best part? They already existed! All I had to do was make them big!" Discord sighed happily. "Nature is so fascinating."
He shook his head. "Oh, but I ramble. Tea?" A snap of his eagle talons, and a pot and cup appeared, hot tea pouring from the former into the latter. It did so upside down, but Discord made sure to reassert the gravitational norm before serving.
Twilight looked askance at the cup. It seemed to be rather nice porcelain, and the liquid within smelled heavenly. Finally, she muttered "Thank you," and took a sip. It was perfect, leaving her rather conflicted.
"So," Discord said amiably, sitting on nothing, "what brings you to Ponyville?"
"A new assignment from Celestia." Twilight sipped more tea, finding it easier to accept Discord's hospitality each time.
"Seriously? Tsk tsk tsk." Discord shook his head. "You're Celestia's equal now, Twilight. In some ways, you are, in fact, her superior. You don't have to settle for the role of faithful student anymore."
She glared at him. "And what if I want to?"
"Hmm. Well, I can't really gainsay that. The motivation of chaos can be best summarized as 'because I wanted to.' Take your tea, for example–"
Twilight immediately spat out the mouthful she was drinking. Coughing and gagging, she glared at Discord. "What about my tea?"
Discord wiped off his face with surprising calm. After he applied a new face and tossed the calm in a wastebasket, he asked, "Really? I hint that I did something to the tea, and your first thought is to assume... what? I used the contents of my bladder?" He grinned. "Believe me, if I'd done that, you'd know."
"So what did you do?"
"All I did was tell the water to taste however you wanted it to. No brewing necessary." Melancholy began to seep into Discord's expression. "Really, Twilight, don't you trust me?"
"No." The answer came with no hesitation whatsoever.
He nodded. "Good. You shouldn't trust me any farther than you can throw me. Less, actually. Now that you're fully fledged, you could probably get quite of bit of distance if you put your mind to it. Especially if I were to shapeshift into a javelin. Say, Twilight—"
"No, Discord, I'm not going to seeing how far I can throw you."
"Spoilsport." Discord grabbed hold of the teapot, topped Twilight off, and began munching on the porcelain. "Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm untrustworthy. At least, not anymore. I'm simply acknowledging that I've built up a rather horrendous reputation for myself. If I want to change it – and I do, I'm all about change – I'm going to have to accept the awkward transition process.
"As for you, you need to grow beyond your role as Celestia's pupil. You've taken a quantum leap in ability, Twilight! Are you really going to keep limiting yourself to conjuring mustaches? I can appreciate the odd use of nigh-omnipotence for frivolous means, but you've got to mix it up with the occasional spell that actually matters!"
Twilight merely drank her tea for a rather awkward length of time. Finally, her gaze on her empty cup, she said, "Do you know how I got my cutie mark?"
Discord nodded. "Fluttershy told me the story of how Rainbow Dash went so fast she gave all of you puberty, yes. I have to say, I like your story the best. Entrance exam, stage fright, and then sudden rainboom!" He began punctuating sentences with dramatic gestures. "The test proctors are floating in unbreakable telekinesis! Your parents are potted plants! You not only hatch the egg, you grow the hatchling to fifty feet tall!"
"But you don't know what happened then." She spoke the sentence barely above a whisper.
"Before that. My magic..." Twilight looked into Discord's unevenly dilated eyes. "My magic went from an external surge to an internal one."
Discord had no quip, no cryptic aside, no chaotic sight gag. He simply said, "Oh."
"Raw power started firing through my brain. Every synapse was flooded with arcane energy. Anypony else would've probably gone into a seizure, suffered permanent brain damage. But not me. Not Miss Future Element of Magic." Twilight shuddered. "It was worse.
"Every brain cell was firing, yes, but coherently. It's not true that ponies only use so-and-so percent of their brain. We use it all, just not all at the same time. But then, then my whole brain was working as a single, horribly efficient machine. And I could see everything." Twilight had grown quiet, speaking mostly to herself. "I saw how there are beings who are to me, me as I am now, as I am to a single ant. I saw who they were, and what, and why. Compared to them, you are a child, fascinated by your pittance of power, living only for your own amusement. Unlike them.
"If Celestia hadn't come when she did, if she had hesitated for only a few seconds, I wouldn't be sitting here now. I'd be in an asylum somewhere, babbling and soiling myself." Eyes full of terror, Twilight confessed, "I know what true power is, Discord. And it scares me."
What Discord did next made no sense, which is exactly why he did anything. Still, Twilight felt the need to ask, "What are you doing?"
"Giving you a hug."
"Why are you giving me a hug?"
"Because I know better than any other being in this plane of existence how much you need one. Because you deserve much, much more, but a hug is all I have to offer you." Discord smiled down on Twilight and kissed her just below her horn. It wasn't a romantic kiss by any stretch of the imagination, more like a parent's reassurance. "You are right to fear my elders, Twilight, but you should never fear becoming one. You are much less than they are, this is true, but you are also inexpressibly more."
The alicorn smiled. It was a small, weak thing, but it was genuine. "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Discord."
"Any time, my dear." He disentangled himself from the sinuous embrace and returned to his side of the coffee table. "You know," he mused, "you never did tell me what Sunbutt's latest assignment was."
"I wish you wouldn't call her that."
"And I wish every pony had a pancreas like Pinkie Pie's, but that's not going to happen either."
Twilight sighed. "Well, I have to discover my domain."
Discord beamed, smacked himself on the forehead, and cried, "Oh! Well! How foolish of me! Here I am thinking Tia's keeping you on a leash when she's pushing you to explore just what you've become!"
"Except I don't even know where to start! I know it isn't magic or friendship, and if it's nothing to do with how I became an alicorn, what could it possibly be?"
Discord's smile grew rather more sly. "It will make sense once you realize it."
"You know?"
"Of course I know. We see the world in very different ways, Twilight, and I mean that literally. When I look at you, I see everything you could ever be. The entire spectrum of that which could ever call itself Twilight Sparkle presents itself to me. I see the instances of you who failed to thwart Sombra, or Chrysalis, or..." Discord trailed off, looking away from the mare. "Well, or me."
After a few silent seconds, he brightened back up. "In any case, presented as I am with that much information, your domain is as obvious to me as the Crusaders' cutie marks are to you. And for largely the same reasons, I can't tell you. This is something you must discover for yourself, Twilight."
Twilight attempted smile. It came out as a rather desperate rictus. "I don't suppose you could give me a hint?"
Discord shook his head with unusual solemnity. "There are some lines even I dare not cross, Twilight. I don't have to like them, but I do have to respect them. Rather like Celestia." He stroked his beard with his lion paw. "Or was it the other way around with her?"
"In any case, again, thank you, Discord." Twilight left the table, making for the door. "You've given me a lot to think about. Please tell Fluttershy I stopped by when she gets back. I plan on staying the night."
"Certainly." Discord grinned. "Oh, and if you ever decide to delve into the fine art of chaos magic, do give me a call. I'm sure we can arrange a lesson plan."
"When pigs fly. Without your help."
Discord replied in a suitably mature and well-thought out manner. It was easily the most eloquently stuck out tongue in Equestria.
"Oh, and Discord?"
"Yes?"
"Why do I get the distinct feeling that there wasn't a megaplatypus waddling towards Ponyville a few minutes ago?"
"Because there wasn't," Discord said shamelessly.
Twilight scowled. "That seems awfully like malicious chaos."
This got a grin. "Does it? Let's review: You've learned more about domains, shared a terrible secret you've been keeping to yourself since you got your cutie mark, and are better for it. Fluttershy gets a new friend. I got to make a megaplatypus. I'd say that's a win for everyone involved!"
To the amateur alicorn watcher, Celestia was moving with her usual casual confidence. To one as practiced as her secretary Raven, several subtle tells hinted at the sun princess's anxiety. The little unconscious shifts of her wings, the slightly faster undulation of her mane and tail, the way her eyes darted about as she considered each possible outcome of the impending event, all were signs of far more nervousness than most would believe Celestia could ever feel.
Most, but not Raven. The unicorn's years of experience at Celestia's right hoof had replaced reflexive reverence with real respect. "Would you like to review anything one last time, Princess?"
The alicorn shook her head. "Thank you, but no. We all knew this day was coming. No sense putting it off any longer."
Her secretary swallowed the growing lump in her throat, but nodded. "As you wish, Princess."
Both entered the grand hall, which was crowded with a colorful cornucopia of press ponies. The massive room was, thanks to the pegasi, literally packed from floor to ceiling. The only empty space was behind a podium with the Diarchy's seal and a microphone, which Celestia approached, Raven at her side.
The reporters' murmurs rose like a sonic tide, but Celestia simply stood and waited for them to burn themselves out. Once the volume dropped enough that she could hear herself think, she began. "Good morning, stallions and gentlemares of the press. We will get to questions shortly, but before we do, I will address the elephant in the room. I have heard the whispers on the streets, and I have seen the editorials in your respective publications. We are here today first and foremost to discuss the newest princess of Equestria, and before we can do anything constructive, I must clear up some misconceptions.
"Time and again, I have seen and heard the same question being asked: why did I choose Twilight Sparkle? The answer is that I did not. She was chosen, yes, but by forces far greater than I. It is true that I instructed her to complete Starswirl the Bearded's Unfinished Spell, but I intended it as a final exam, a senior thesis. It would be the last, greatest test of her mastery of the magic of friendship, overcoming despair and the distortion of destiny itself through the bonds she and the other Bearers of Harmony have forged with one another.
"Instead, as she has done so many times before, Twilight exceeded my greatest expectations. Where I merely expected her to complete the spell and set things right, she instead proved her mastery of friendship and Harmony so great that the Elements themselves recognized her peerless achievements. Once she completed Starswirl's final work, she ascended, body and soul. I was there to witness and commemorate her transformation, but I did not instigate it. I am more proud of my student, neigh, my peer Twilight Sparkle than I could ever express."
Celestia's serene smile took on a more humble aspect. "Still, I was caught by surprise. Despite the best efforts of Canterlot's finest, many of you noticed the rushed nature of Princess Twilight's coronation. To answer the question most often raised by the fashion columns, it was I who designed the dresses she, my sister, and I wore for the ceremony." The alicorn chuckled. "Clearly, dressmaking is not among my talents." This prompted a few laughs from the mass of interviewers.
"Many of your questions are no doubt the same ones you had upon my sister's return from exile and madness and that your predecessors had when Mi Amore Cadenza was born. I will address them now: Twilight Sparkle's role in the Equestrian government and her royal holdings have yet to be determined, as she is currently determining what fundamental underpinning of the world is hers to command. As you may already know, a new division of the Royal Guard, tentatively named the Perigee Guard, has been formed for the protection of and from Princess Twilight as she masters her new abilities. Her parents were already made members of the nobility at the marriage of her brother Prince-Consort Shining Armor to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
Celestia took a deep breath. "Now that that's all out of the way, is there anything else?"
Hooves shot up like a furry, multicolored forest. The princess called on one at random. "Pondering Perplexity, Deep Thought Weekly. Are there any other alicorns in potential that you are aware of? Pertaining to the last question, if there are any would you be willing to disclose their identities, and if so who are they?"
"It appears that everypony is an alicorn waiting to happen, at least in theory. In practice, the circumstances required for such an ascension are unclear, but given Princess Twilight's unprecedented nature, those circumstances are clearly extremely rare. I cannot predict who may next be receiving a crown, nor when, if ever. That said, I would be very surprised indeed if it happens any time in the next century."
"Skoonie Bard, Canterlot Review. Much of the nobility has reacted poorly towards Princess Twilight Sparkle's new position, claiming that you're slowly phasing them out of the government. How do you respond?"
"A lesson I learned early in my rule is that no one pony can run a nation. Twilight's coronation will have a minimal effect on the underlying structure of the government. What role she will play is her decision to make, but if I know her, it will be the bureaucracy, not the nobility, that will see the greatest change, and for the better."
"Thunder Tempest, Fillydelphia Freelance News. How would you respond to those who say that the authority of your rule has been degraded by the rapid introduction of these three new alicorns? Also, where's the snack table?"
"I would agree." Celestia let the murmurs subside again before continuing. "That isn't a bad thing. Again, one pony cannot run a nation, not even when that one pony is me. More thrones mean that my authority is reduced to reasonable levels, The last thing Equestria needs is the entire government running around like a headless chicken if I were to disappear suddenly.
"As for the snack table," and here she sighed, "there simply wasn't room. Believe me, I regret it just as much as you do."
"Seventh Son, Thaumaturgic Equestrian. It seems unreasonable to think that, for more than a thousand years, nopony had attempted to complete the lost spell of Starswirl the Bearded. Why not Clover the Clever? Isn't it true that you hid this spell, and why let it resurface now of all times?"
Celestia's rear hooves shifted a little behind the podium. "Starswirl's last journal was actually among my sister's personal effects, bequeathed to her in his will. As with all of her possessions that I was able to retrieve from the Everfree ruins, it was kept in one of the castle vaults until her return. Luna allowed me to send the journal to Twilight. I cannot speak for any efforts made by Clover the Clever, but Twilight Sparkle is one of the greatest arcane minds since."
"Meritless Hack, Trottingham Sun-Times-Enquirer, is there any truth to rumour of mass orgies taking place in the throne room late at night now that there are four alicorns? And in addition, are you actually instigating an alicorn breeding program to create a race of super-beings to wipe out the threats to Equestria?"
The entire hall fell silent, every jaw slack, every eye on Hack, who didn't seem to notice in the least. He just looked expectantly at the princess, pencil in mouth.
Celestia, however, kept her composure. This was hardly the first time somepony had tried to catch her off-guard. "No to both."
"Pondering again. You mentioned that Princess Sparkle's guard is partially for the protection of the public from her. What potential dangers are there, how can the guard aid, and should we be concerned?"
"Princess Twilight does not know her own magical strength, both because she has experienced a massive leap in her magical power and in that she does not yet know where her alicorn magic's specialty lies. As she becomes comfortable with her newfound power, her guards will help act as a buffer between her and potential stressors, like nosy journalists." Celestia winked. "No offense.
"As for concern, you should be no more concern by Twilight than you are by Luna or me." That got the murmuring going. Luna was still learning the distinction between "freedom of the press" and "high treason," and tended to default to the latter.
"Crazy Something, Theorists Periodical. Does this put you ahead of schedule on your plan for retirement? Are there any contingencies in place for the possibility of Princess Sparkle gaining control of the stars?"
"I have no plan for or intention to retire any time this millennium. You're not getting rid of me that easily. And Twilight and Luna have both confirmed that the stars remain solely under my sister's control."
"Thunder again. Given that Twilight was your student, do you not think that her eventual role in Equestria's government would be biased towards results that met with your approval?"
"It's certainly possible," Celestia ceded. "I will discuss the matter with her in the days to come."
Raven noted that that raised the possibility of a paradox: would Twilight try to avoid making Celestia happy in order to make her happy?
"Tinfoil Hat, Weekly Equestrian News. Does Princess Twilight Sparkle have access to the submarine that holds your mind control device? And while I have your attention, where are you keeping Bat Colt, and how well does he get along with members of the Night Guard?"
Celestia chuckled indulgently. "Now, Tinfoil, we both know the mind control device is in a shoebox in my sock drawer. And your brother is doing just fine, thank you for asking." She winked again, and the news corps added their laughter, Tinfoil Hat rather nervously.
Behind the podium, Celestia stamped the floor twice with a back hoof gently enough that it was inaudible under the mirth. She ducked her head so Raven could lean in and whisper, "Message received, Your Highness."
The princess nodded and adopted a mask of focused concern. "I'm afraid I must bring this portion of the press conference to a close. Any further questions regarding the nature of Princess Twilight and her introduction to the Diarchy can be submitted to the Royal Oversight Council through the usual channels. Now then..."
Twilight had always thought Sweet Apple Acres was beautiful. Now that she had earth pony senses, it almost took her breath away. The orchard practically sang from the careful care of the Apple family, each tree a member of the choir, the land itself a swelling orchestra of vitality. Twilight blinked back tears as she continued on, seeking one of the stewards that supplied this stunning splendor.
Applejack was, unsurprisingly, applebucking. Before, Twilight would need to perform a search pattern or ask another Apple for help finding her. Now, to her alicorn-level earth pony empathy, the farmer stood out among the trees like the conductor of the music, with legs for batons.
"Applejack!"
The orange mare looked to her side and smiled. "Twilight!" She trotted to her friend, but skidded to a halt a few body lengths away, her grin growing unsure. "Ah don't have t' bow or kneel or nothin', right?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's just a friendly visit, AJ. And even if it wasn't, you never have to bend a knee to me. Not you or any friend of mine."
Applejack's smile returned even wider as she gave a sigh of relief. "That's awful good t' hear, sugarcube. T' tell th' truth, Ah was kinda worried."
Twilight blinked. "Why?"
"Well, speakin' from experience, this kinda thing tries t' change a pony." Applejack returned to the tree, lining up her next kick. "Ponies thinkin' they're better'n folks who ain't as fancy, tellin' ya th' same..." She struck, sending a cascade of apples basketward. "Ah know yer better'n that, but that's mah head, not mah heart."
Magic enveloped the baskets, carrying them to a nearby cart. "I wouldn't have gotten where I am without you and the others," noted Twilight. "I'll never forget you all." She squirmed. "Besides, I'm still not entirely comfortable with this whole thing. All these ponies bowing and scraping to me, it just doesn't feel right. And there's just so much to learn..."
Applejack chuckled as she moved down the line. "Seems like that wouldn't be a downside fer you."
"I know!" Twilight drooped as she followed. "But this is all... slippery. How to say things without saying them. Which rhetorical traps work best on which species. What pretty lies work best for hiding the ugly truth. I've gone from learning about friendship to learning about politics, and I definitely prefer my old studies." She sighed. "But I have to do it."
"So what brings ya out here? Seems like y' ain't got time fer us Ponyville ponies."
Twilight frowned. "Never say that. You're the most important ponies in my life, and nothing can change that."
Applejack paused again. She gave the alicorn a sidelong glance. "Nothin'?"
"Nothing."
Applejack said nothing. Twilight could barely hear herself think over what the farmer didn't say. She shifted from hoof to hoof. "I mean it, AJ."
"I'd have come back earlier, but this was the first free moment I had." The alicorn sighed. "At least, that's what it feels like."
"What changed? Ah know yer a fast learner, but even you learnin' everythin' a princess needs t' know inside a week seems like a stretch."
"I came for two reasons. You know that place I ended up when you all thought I exploded?"
Applejack nodded. That had been quite the day. Getting her memories fixed, bringing back Sweet Apple Acres from a state of Pinkie-prompted putrefaction, accidentally blasting one of her best friends with a beam of Elemental honesty, witnessing that friend's return as an alicorn, hearing about her adventures in some kind of cosmic flashback zone... "Don't think Ah could ferget even if Ah wanted to."
"Well, Luna taught me how to go back whenever I want, and I figured out the time-scrying spell from Celestia using it. It's an incredible opportunity, but..." Twilight gulped. "But to make the most of it, I'd like your permission to look at your past." There. She said it. Words began tumbling out of her mouth. "I know it's an intrusion of your privacy, but I—"
Applejack raised a hoof. "Fine by me, Twilight. Ain't got nothin' t' hide from you. Not sure what bit o' mah life'd be interestin' enough to look back on, though."
Twilight beamed, relieved. Besides, now she had an excuse to exposit! "More than anything, the Rainboom incident, the one that got us all our cutie marks. That kind of synchronicity has to have some serious magical implications. But aside from that, you're really selling yourself short. You're practically the textbook example of everything earth pony magic can do."
Applejack blinked, then looked around to see if somepony else had walked in on the conversation. "Ah am?"
"Oh, definitely! Strength, endurance, botanical catalysis and empathy, and that's not even getting into the aleithiomancy!"
Applejack was only half-listening as she worked, but the peculiar word got her full attention. "Th' what now?"
Suddenly, there was an eager purple alicorn invading her personal space. "Honesty magic. Did you know that it's hard to even lie about you? It's actually more difficult for me to think of fictional scenarios that involve you than those that don't. It's a shame I haven't done much work with illusions; I'd love to see how they react in your presence. Oh, and—"
"Whoa, there!" Applejack cried, gently pushing her friend back. "Twi, Ah ain't th' best audience fer this kinda thing."
"Oh. Heh. Right." Twilight gave an awkward smile. "Sorry, I haven't had a chance to wax scholastic since Star Swirl's spell."
"Huh." The farmer put that in her mental apple cellar. Twilight Sparkle not studying and babbling about magic went against the natural order of things. "Now, y' said y' had two reasons fer comin' by. What's number two?"
Twilight sighed. "Apparently, every alicorn has a domain, some special, very important thing she manages. I need to find mine."
Applejack considered this for a tree. "Books?" she offered.
This got a roll of the eyes. "No, Applejack, I am not the sovereign of books."
The earth mare smirked. "Now how can you be sure o' that so dang quick?"
"I just know. It's an alicorn thing." Twilight really had considered it for a moment, but it rang false. "It's like... like trying to force a piece of a jigsaw puzzle where it doesn't belong. Except the pieces are all known concepts that aren't the sun, the moon, and love. And the puzzle is my soul."
"Like tryin' t' find a second cutie mark."
"That's a much better simile, yes."
A thought occurred. "Y' ain't told th' Crusaders 'bout this, have ya?"
Twilight shook her head. "No, and I don't plan to." She sighed. "Just one more thing to add to the to-do list. Never thought I'd resent one of those."
Applejack stopped herself midbuck. The shockwave still managed to dislodge a few apples. "Twi, lemme ask ya somethin'. When's th' last time y'got a chance t' jus' sit an' enjoy a nice book?"
"Not since before the coronation," came the longing answer. "It's just been one thing after another."
Applejack nodded. "Like Ah thought, then. Yer lettin' this get more outta control than a hog in a pantry."
"What should I do then!?" Twilight's wings sprang out in her agitation. "I think I'm doing pretty well for having accidentally overthrown the established political order, but please, if you have advice from your vast store of experience with courtly intrigue, by all means, share!"
Applejack weathered the rant like a rock in a storm. "Y' done?"
Twilight bowed her head. "Yeah."
"Feel any better?"
"Not much."
"Really want mah advice?"
Twilight looked back up, smiling a bit. "Always."
Applejack returned the grin. "Alrighty. Th' way Ah see it, y' ain't gonna find this fancy-pants domain o' yers if all this princessin' around's keepin' ya from bein' who y' are."
"'Princess' isn't a verb." Twilight bit her lip, but couldn't bite off the correction.
AJ chuckled it aside before her friend could apologize. "Twi, 'princess' is whatever y' say it is. Celestia princesses her way, Luna does it hers, an' Cadence don't do it th' same as either of 'em. Now, Ah'm guessin' yer tryin' t' be all three at once an' more b'sides. Am Ah right?" Twilight eventually nodded, and Applejack shook her head. "They're doin' a fine job o' bein' them. Y' gotta be you, or yer gonna go crazier 'n Rainbow Dash on cider day."
Twilight digested this as Applejack bucked the tree properly. "Uncommon sense."
The earth mare flicked an ear. "Say again?"
"Uncommon sense. Another expression of earth pony magic. It's like common sense, only more so. Very rare, sadly." Twilight sucked in air, brought a forehoof to her chest, and sent her stress out with her breath. "Thanks, Applejack. You've given me a lot to think about."
"Still got plenty o' trees t' buck, if y' wanna keep talkin'."
"No, I need to see everypony."
Applejack gave her a concerned look. "'Need'? Y' sure about that?"
Twilight nodded and grinned. "My way of princessing says so."
"Ha! Alrighty then. Go on."
"See you soon, AJ. Thanks again." Twilight made to nuzzle her friend.
Discord stopped the book-on-tape (narrated by himself, of course,) and adjusted his sunglasses. Sure enough, a trio of amethyst-armored pegasi were swooping towards his lounge chair. To be fair, said chair was rather conspicuous, positioned as it was about twenty feet above Fluttershy's cottage without so much as a cloud holding it up. He grinned as the guards hovered before him. "Well, if it isn't our brave boys in boysenberry. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
The lead stallion frowned at the draconequus, who expected nothing less. "Where is Dame Fluttershy?"
"Hmm? A moment, please." Discord allowed a bit of his awareness to wander off into the Everfree Forest to check on his first friend. "Ah. Approaching this meeting from millions of millimeters away, mounted on a massive monotreme. Should be here in two shakes of a lamb's tale, and what a tale it is. It was a dark and stormy night, and Johnny said to the captain, 'Captain, tell me a story.' And this is the story the captain told: It was a dark and stormy—"
"Are you quite finished?"
Discord frowned. He couldn't decide whether or not he liked the stallion's courage. "Well, the entire point of the gag is that it doesn't finish. If you'd let me, I could keep going until Fluttershy arrived. Shouldn't take more than a few dozen loops."
The guard snorted. "I don't suppose you would know where Her Highness the Princess Twilight Sparkle is?"
"I do, as a matter of fact." Discord rose from his sunbathing — which Celestia hated, as it always left a ring around the tub — and stretched his mismatched limbs, continuing to ignore gravity's insistence that surely he should have begun falling at some point. Maybe he'd listen if it stopped calling him Shirley. "You see, the purple pony princess is going on something of an impromptu royal tour of Ponyville. I believe that next on the itinerary are the holdings of the Mistress of Agriculture, Sovereign of the Bountiful Earth, Guardian of the Farmer, and Our Divine Lady of Honesty, Dame Jacqueline of House Apple."
"...Who?"
Discord considered his last sentence. "Oh, right, she hasn't actually been given most of those titles yet, has she? Sorry, this whole 'linear time' business is still something of a novelty for me." He pointed a bit to the side of how to get to Ponyville proper. "Sweet Apple Acres. About ten, twenty minutes as the you flies. And if a ewe flies, then either I've been having a bit of harmless fun, or your pet princess has."
"Why should we trust him?" asked one of the other pegasi.
"A valid question," Discord conceded. "I suppose you could always guard me. Never thought to make an army back when I ruled Equestria." With a thought and a flash, he was outfitted in an asymmetrical amalgam of armors that made gravity decide to give up and go bother something else. And good riddance. "How do you feel about the Ramshackle Guard? If anypony asks, we can say you were instrumental in the Siege of Tambelon."
"It's a choice between doubt and sanity," reasoned the commander. "I say we go with the option that leaves us fit to serve. Come on." With that, he flapped off, his cohorts at his heels.
Discord sighed and flounced back onto the folding chair as though it were a fainting couch. "Honestly, it's like they're expecting me to turn mustache-twirlingly evil at the drop of a hat. Like I can't get my fill of that in that 'Ten Halves Squared' timeline. Now where did I put Tape Two?"