Audience Participation: Man Interviews Horse! · 5:40pm Nov 11th, 2013
My muse has set her targeting reticule on Postgraduate Work, my Twilicorn story. As such, the following was written, and now I could use some help.
The reporters' murmurs rose like a sonic tide, but Celestia simply stood and waited for them to burn themselves out. Once the volume dropped enough that she could hear herself think, she began. "Good morning, stallions and gentlemares of the press. We will get to questions shortly, but before we do, I will address the elephant in the room. I have heard the whispers on the streets, and I have seen the editorials in your respective publications. We are here today first and foremost to discuss the newest princess of Equestria, and before we can do anything constructive, I must clear up some misconceptions.
"Time and again, I have seen and heard the same question being asked: why did I choose Twilight Sparkle? The answer is that I did not. She was chosen, yes, but by forces far greater than I. It is true that I instructed her to complete Starswirl the Bearded's Unfinished Spell, but I intended it as a final exam, a senior thesis. It would be the last, greatest test of her mastery of the magic of friendship, overcoming despair and the distortion of destiny itself through the bonds she and the other Bearers of Harmony have forged with one another.
"Instead, as she has done so many times before, Twilight exceeded my greatest expectations. Where I merely expected her to complete the spell and set things right, she instead proved her mastery of friendship and Harmony so great that the Elements themselves recognized her peerless achievements. Once she completed Starswirl's final work, she ascended, both in body and soul. I was there to witness and commemorate her transformation, but I did not instigate it. I am more proud of my student, neigh, my peer Twilight Sparkle than I could ever express."
Celestia's serene smile took on a more humble aspect. "Still, I was caught by surprise. Despite the best efforts of many of Canterlot's finest, many of you noticed the rushed nature of Princess Twilight's coronation. To answer the questions raised by the fashion columns, it was I who designed the dresses she, my sister, and I wore for the ceremony." The alicorn chuckled. "Clearly, dressmaking is not among my talents." This prompted a few laughs from the mass of interviewers.
"Many of your questions are no doubt the same ones you had upon my sister's return from exile and madness and that your predecessors had when Mi Amore Cadenza was born. I will address them now: Twilight Sparkle's role in the Equestrian government and royal holdings have yet to be determined, as she is currently determining what fundamental underpinning of the world is hers to command. As you may already know, a new division of the Royal Guard, tentatively named the Perigee Guard, has been formed for protection of and from Princess Twilight as she masters her new abilities. Her parents have already been retroactively been made members of the nobility with the marriage of her brother Prince-Consort Shining Armor to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."
Celestia took a deep breath. "Now that that's all out of the way, is there anything else?"
This is where you guys come in. You are the newshounds, folks. Got a question you wanted to ask Sunbutt after Magical Mystery Cure? One that's been prompted by her attempts to set up an FAQ here? Now's your chance. If you'd like, include the appearance of your pony mouthpiece and the name of the paper he or she's working for. If you don't, I'll fill in the blanks myself.
"Much of the nobility has reacted poorly towards Princess Twilight Sparkle's new position, claiming that you're slowly phasing them out of the government. How do you respond?"
"It seems unreasonable to think that, for more than a thousand years, nopony had attempted to complete the lost spell of Starswirl the Bearded. Why not Clover the Clever? Isn't it true that you hid this spell, and why let it resurface now of all times?"
"Meritless Hack, Trottingham Sun-Times-Enquirer, is there any truth to rumour of mass orgies taking place in the throne room late at night now that there are four alicorns? And in addition, are you actually instigating an alicorn breeding program to create a race of super-beings to wipe out the threats to Equestria?"
"Pondering Perplexity, Deep Thought Weekly. Are there any other Alicorns in potential that you are aware of? Pertaining to the last question, if there are any would you be willing to disclose their identities, and if so what are they?"
*later in the interview*
"Pondering again. You mentioned that Princes Sparkle's guard is partially for the protection of the public from her. What potential dangers are there, how can the guard aid, and should we be concerned?"
Tinfoil Hat, Weekly Equestrian News. Does Princess Twilight Sparkle have access to the submarine that holds your mind control device? And while I have your attention, where are you keeping Bat Colt, and how well does he get along with members of the Night Guard?
Meaningless Filler, Pony Magazine. Has social media changed the way we react to coronation ceremonies? If you'd be so kind, please Tweet your response.
Crazy Something, Theorists Periodical. Does this put you ahead of schedule on your plan for retirement? Are there any contingencies in place for the possibility of Princess Sparkle gaining control of the stars?
1500610
Mr. Filler, I'm afraid I'm going to have to forward you to the Department of Causal Affairs. Officer Spoiler Alert will be taking your question.
"Chrkt Mkrvintra, Shifting Times. How will this new alicorn affect the refugee hive movement?"
"Thunder Tempest, Fillydelphia Freelance News. How would you respond to those who say that the authourity of your rule has been degraded by the rapid introduction of these three new Alicorns? Also, where's the snack table?"
**Later on:
"Thunder again. Given that Twilight was your student, do you not think that her eventual role in Equestria's government would be biased towards results that met with your approval?"