Chapter 16: Planned Plans Are Planned By Careful Planning
The next several days went by quickly as Shining Armor recuperated. Twilight and John speculated what could be done to save Cadence and the multiverse for that matter. Princess Celestia and occasionally Luna would come by and contribute to the attempted planning. Discord hadn’t been seen for awhile, which worried everypony slightly. Celestia said that Discord could handle himself and would probably be able to stop Dimentio single handedly. While nopony really questioned that fact, they all wondered why Discord hadn’t done so earlier.
Perhaps the strangest thing was that no news had come about Dimentio: no sightings, no disappearances, nothing that would really alert them to Dimentio’s presence. In fact, the only strange occurrences lately, according to Celestia, was the increased changeling sightings in the Everfree; a problem that, according to her, could be solved by increasing patrols in the area. Surprisingly enough, the Princesses decided to upgrade Equestria’s millitary quite a bit when John explained what Dimentio’s plan probably was. After telling them that Dimentio could, with the Chaos Heart, obliterate Equestria’s current force with the raising of an eyebrow, efforts had begun to find a way to counter the Heart’s power.
Presently
“Look, we need to find a way to save Cadence. According to what you’ve said. Dimentio can’t make the Chaos Heart without her or some other princess!” Twilight argued once again to John.
“I agree, but none of us have the means to get into Dimension D. Even if we did, I wouldn’t want to face Dimentio there.”
“Why not?” Twilight asked, frustrated with the entire situation.
“He’d have the homefield advantage alongside all of the other advantages he has on us.” John reasoned.
“True, he is too powerful for us to face head-on. Without Discord anyway. Any word on that situation?” Twilight asked the question on everypony’s minds.
“No, and despite what the princess says, I’m getting worried. Discord is our best hope for fighting Dimentio.” John sighed.
“Aside from you.” Twilight said.
“Me? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not much of a fighter.” John argued.
“No, but you have some of Dimentio’s own powers. If what Discord said was true, you have more energy to expend than Dimentio because of your soul being connected to him.” Twilight countered.
“I can’t even control those powers, they only kick in when I’m in danger. All they do is keep me from being killed.” John said.
“That may be, but it’s still something.” Twilight assured.
“I guess.” John said as he stood up. “I think I’m going to stop by Rarity’s place and pick up some clothes.”
“Wait! I almost forgot to tell you that Shining is going to be allowed to leave the hospital today, Celestia has already filled him in and he wants to speak with you when you get the chance.” Twilight insisted.
“Alright, I’ll stop by there later.” John said as they concluded their meeting. In the six days that had passed since their last encounter with Dimentio, they had been having meetings daily. These meetings had all been pretty much fruitless, but they never really gave up hope.
Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location
“Buhuh...Where am I? Hey, you reading the story! Wh-thwack!-” Crump was shut up with a blue hoof to the face.
“Shut it X-boy!” Trixie yelled, whoever this guy was. Dimentio had better explain why he was needed for the plan.
“Hey, that’s no way to treat our guest, Trixie.” Dimentio scolded, happy that Crump had finally come to. “Now...the game can really begin.”
"What do you need him for anyway?" Trixie asked, regarding the whimpering Lord Crump.
"Yeah! Why do you need me?-Thwack!-" Crump asked only to receive another smack to the face from Trixie.
"I just asked that." Trixie clarified harshly.
"Trixie!" Dimentio scolded as he tried to hold back laughter.
"Sorry...his face is just very...smackable." Trixie said, hanging her head in partial shame.
"Ah...proceed. Get it out of your system." Dimentio said, impressed by Trixie's wording.
-Thwack Thwack Thwack!- Trixie wailed on Crump's face.
"Hey! Stop it! Buhuh-Ow! -Thwack-" Crump fought against his restraints to no avail.
-Thwack Thwack- Okay, this had gone far enough.
"X-Nauts!" Lord Crump called, suddenly a small force of short masked people burst into the room, removed Trixie from their commanderr and began to pummel her
"Hmmm? I don't remember bringing anyone else here...how did you do that?" Dimentio asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Wouldn’t you like to know.X-Nauts, attack!" Lord Crump yelled and the small men jumped at Dimentio.
Comedy at its finest when mario characters are involved
2958398 They're surprisingly(not really) easy to write for.
I am most curious as to why the last two chapters were released separately? Even as one chapter, they would've only served to progress the plot toward the climax by introducing new 'bad-guys'. However, you are still doing lots of telling, and not much showing. John is supposed to be the main character, but we still know next to nothing about him or his motivations... Also, there seems to be a lot going on in the world at large that's being hinted at, but not shown. All in all, it is making this story feel rushed and underdeveloped.
2959656 Yeah...I'm still working on this whole "writer" thing. You're definitely right about me needing to work more on exposition and action. I was just trying to put something out after a long absence.(I know it's no excuse for bad quality)
2960363 Dimentio, a writer's life is tough, but without quoting "Legend of Spike: Discord's Mask" over 9000 times, you just need to get trough it. We can't wait for the next chapter, but we must, for thou need to rest to create new ideas to please the captivated audience. it's the ultimate show you started, if you seemed to have bit off more than you can chew, well then, you've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
that was a downer of a rambling, wasn't it? Here's an emoticon to help mine the salt out of the wound, and craft yourself back together! (V) (;,,;) (V)
2984427
Yeah, I've really been meaning to explain John a bit more...his main motivation for not trying to leave is the fact that if Dimentio succeeds his world will be destroyed as well. I've been avoiding working on him because I....well...haven't really figured out what I want to do there.
The few times you see him without his 'good guy' disguise in Super Paper Mario kind of implies that he has a sadistic streak. Especially in the end when he decides to destroy all worlds just because he lost.
I kinda figured he wouldn't have one on him after being killed and sent to the Underwhere.
John being there blew his initial cover that he would use to gain the trust of the locals(I didn't really convey that the way I should have. Dimentio is ultimately insane, his ideals include him being in charge at the end. Dimentio would also probably want to destroy all of the other dimensions anyway, so his plans would be altered a bit, but would probably turn out a similar way when things didn't go the way he would like them to.
All in all I agree with your review and this has pushed me to do something I've been hesitant to do all along...A complete and total rewrite of the majority of the chapters. After I review your story that is.
2988839 Thanks for all of the compliments! Unfortunately I've got a lot of work to do on many of the earlier chapters.