Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria

by Ichtudirweh

Chapter 12: A Long Journey Home

"WEEEE! LET'S GO!"

Pinkie squealed with laughter. The unlikely pairing sprinted back to their flying machines, with the timber wolves hastily closing in after them. Pinkie Pie and Arnold pedaled their machines with sheer intensity. A few timber wolves managed to cling onto the candy cane bars of the flying contraption. The Austrian Bodybuilder managed to kick a few wolves from his chopper, while Pinkie Pie exercised her basic flight maneuvers to shake off her wooden nuisances. Remnants of the wolves crash landed into the other packs of timber wolves, thus creating a massive pile of disorderly wood.

"I've never experienced so much thrill like that before! Let's head back to the Sugarcube Corner to rest for awhile. How does that sound, silly?" Pinkie Pie shouted over the sound of her chopper propellers.

"Nauh, Aie can't pinkeh. Aie'm gonna crash over aet Twilight's place faur tonight. We can do moar faun things tomorrow."
Arnold returned to the pink mare.

"Suit yourself Silly! Alright, we're almost there! Land the flying machine over on the left side of the building. I'll be waiting for some more adventures with you tomorrow then!"

After the two successfully performed a soft landing, Arnold departed from his flying contraption and waved at the pink mare. Pinkie Pie winked back at the human bodybuilder in return. It slightly caught the Austrian Oak off guard. The pink mare then disappeared into the dimly lit doorway of Sugarcube Corner. A thick blanket of dusk was now present over mellow town of Ponyville. Every pony resident was now settling down inside their dimly lit homes. Arnold proceeded to head back to the Golden Oaks Library. He was the only living creature outside at the time being. His footsteps echoed on the quiet streets of the town market. Suddenly, a single thought dawned onto him.

"Whai do all t'ese Ponehs want to bang meh? Eis it because all of deh Stallions are aie bauch of girly mans? Aeur dey in season? Eh, Whatevah. Aie daunt get eit." Arnold thought to himself.

The human bodybuilder neared the tree library. He proceeded to push the front wooden doorway open, only to discover the purple brainy mare organizing a few books on an upper floor bookshelf. She proceeded down her ladder to greet the human bodybuilder at the doorway.

"Hey! How was your workout session with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?" The brainy purple unicorn asked.

"It starded aout good, but deh escalated ento a catastrophe. At dey end of the dai everehthing was thankfully resolved." Arnold returned to Twilight.

"How was it a catastrophe if I may ask?" The purple mare cocked her head in curiosity.

"Well, Pinkie Pie did saum adjustments to mai machine. Aie laust control....and deh everything spiraled downhill fraum der. But like aie said, everehthing turned aout to be alright at the end of deh day."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you had a fruitful day! I was busy practicing different spells from the library's archives. Would you help assist me in one spell?" Twilight proposed innocently. Arnold was totally unaware of her devious plans at the time being.

"Shaure! Was eis eit dat yew need meh to dew?"

"Excellent! I'm going to require you to stand in the middle of this white pentagram on the floor. It should only take a few moments of your time to conduct the spell sufficiently. Just sit in the center and everything should be just fine...."

Arnold thought to himself for a brief moment, and carelessly shrugged off any doubts in his mind. He trusted her fluent capabilities of sophisticated arcane magic. After all, she was Celestia's top ranking student. What could possibly go wrong in a ritual?

Twilight Sparkle began to speak in a unfamiliar tongue. She levitated a peculiar black spell book in front of her while doing so. The windows and doors inside the Golden Oaks Library began to rattle and vibrate. Books were unhinged from the shelves, and flew to the floor with sheer intensity. Spike ran into the front doorway in panic, screaming at the top of his lungs to cease the ritual.

"Twilight! Stop! I gave you the wrong spell book! That book isn't for love bonding with another partner, IT'S A SATYR TRANSFORMATION BOOK!"

Spike's voice was drowned by the violent calamity occurring inside the library. Books uplifted from the floor, and flew around the interior of the library within a circular formation. Flashes of light and thunderous booms emitted from the interior of the pentagram. One final roar was unleashed from the pentagram, and then the compelling ritual ceased. Everything came to a sudden standstill within the library. The ritual was finally over.

There in the middle of the pentagram, laid a transformed body builder named Arnold Schwarzenegger. The ritual sapped him from all his energy. He slept in the middle of the Golden Oaks Library peacefully. However, Spike and Twilight's expressions weren't so content.

"Perhaps we should wake him up?" Twilight proposed to Spike.

"....Forget it Twi. This is your mess, not mine. Just be prepared for retaliation tomorrow morning..."

The sun rose on the horizon the very next day. Birds chirped and conversed with one another. The morning commute ponies were out and about. Derpy delivered her mail, merchants set up their shops, everypony greeted one another, and a loud penetrating scream erupted from the interior of the Golden Oaks Library.

"AGGGHHHH! WHAT DEH HELL HAPPENED TO MAI LEGS! WHERE DID DEY GO! TWILIGHT! SPIKE! WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!"

Arnold woke up in a state of panic. He threw off the sheets from his horse legs and tumbled backwards into a bookshelf. The Austrian Oak was not used to his new horse legs, so he lost balance and collapsed to the ground. Twilight and Spike appeared in front of him, both sharing and expressing a nervous grin.

".....Good morning Arnold. As you can see....I messed up on the ritual last night....But don't worry, I was up all last night searching for a solution. It's going to take time reversing the spell, but it can be done..."

Spike then proceeded to speak after Twilight.

"....It was kinda my fault as well just to let you know....I gave her the wrong spell book and....."

"WAIT! Doen't sai anehmore. Aie jaust want to know one thing...What was dat ritual supposed to achieve? Tell me deh truth liddle purple dragon or aile crush yer head like a ripe wadermelon!" Arnold threatened Twilight's assistant.

The truth came out of the purple mare's mouth shortly after.

"It was supposed to be a love spell you see....."

"AIE LOVE SPELL? TWILIGHT! WHAT DEH HELL! AHM AIE MARRIED MAN FER GOODNESS SAKES! ALL DAT AIE WANTED WAS A BREAK, AND NAOUGH ALL DESE PONIES WANT TO BANG MEH? AIE CAN'T TAKE EIT ANEHMOAR!" Arnold hollered at the top of his lungs.

He regained his balance on his newly acquired horse legs, and took off out of the front door. Twilight and Spike chased after him. Little to their knowledge at the time being, the Mane 5 were all anticipating for Arnold's awakening by the front door of the tree library. They decided to trail behind Twilight and Spike, wondering why Arnold was fleeing from the two.
Arnold used a diversion and disappeared from the Mane 6's sight. The now satyr bodybuilder was no where to be seen.

"Twilight, what in tarnation is going on? Ah could've used him on the farm this mornin'! You better do some hefty explainin' on why we just did a wild goose chase after him!" Applejack snapped at Twilight. The rest of her friends circled around her in curiosity. After Twilight told her side of the story and admitted to her love for Arnold, her friends snapped in retaliation.

"WHAT? Excuse me darling, but that human was sincerely interested in me! Can't you all realize that we made the perfect couple? He's like a marvelous gem and a true companion, where so many stallions in Equestria lack manly features..."

This statement caused Spike's head to flare up like a volcano. Visible steam was erupting from the side of his ears. The little purple dragon lost his cool and flipped out on Rarity.

"WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM! HUH? TELL ME RIGHT NOW YOU STUCK UP MULE!"

This statement caused Rarity's eyes to water. Instead of crying however, she held her tears back and decided to snap at the little purple dragon.

"SPIKEY WIKEY! DON'T YOU EVER REFER TO ME IN SUCH A HORRID MATTER! I DEMAND AN APOLOGY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Rarity stomped her hooves into the ground.

"He's got a point, Rare. Ah know that you two have been spendin' an awful long time together. Apple bloom told me that Sweetie Belle saw a bunch of broken glass outside yer window. Told me that he ran away from yew. What y'all fail to realize is that mighty hunk of muscle belongs on the Apple farm. He's a real workin' horse, but that's about it to me..."

Rainbow Dash intervenes with her own furious statement. The tension between the Mane 6 was now becoming visible.

"Oh yeah? That's not what your brother told me you filthy liar! He told me that he caught you two on a hay bale! Also, he said that he fled from the scene. That explains why he was in such a panicked state when Pinkie and I met him on the road to Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe he's just not into your type Applejack! He should stick with the awesome mares like me!"

Pinkie Pie hollered with her own statement in front of everypony.

"I WANT HIM FOR MORE FUN! YOU LAMEBRAINS ARE BORING!" Pinkie pie whined in front of her friends. Fluttershy was the last to silently speak. No one can hear her talk in amidst of all the exchanged yelling. She went on her own little tangent of why Arnold should be with her.

"Um....he's really good with my animal friends....And let's see, he's good at taking care of my bunny Angel...Well...Maybe not....Also....."

Back in Arnold's world, the Austrian Bodybuilder took refuge underneath a stony bridge. He had to clear his head and formulate his ultimate plan. A plan that would get him back home to his realm. However, who could he ask? And better yet, who could he trust?

He figured that Princess Celestia would be his best bet. So he stumbled with his new horse legs all the way over to Canterlot. The Royal Guards permitted him access to speak to the sun princess, persuading him it was of a dire emergency. Princess Celestia and her sister Luna sat in adjacent thrones in front of the bodybuilder.

"Excuse meh Princess Celestia, but yer faithful student Twilight Sparkel transformed meh into aie satyr abomination. Would yew please transform meh back to normal? Maybeh get me back to mai home realm as well?"

The sun princess eyed over the newly transformed bodybuilder. She liked what she saw, and silently whispered something into her sister's ear. She grinned and nodded back to her faithful sister. Princess Celestia began to speak aloud.

"Arnold, I'm afraid that there is nothing that I can do about your transformation. However, why don't you stay for dinner tonight? Your newly transformation is something you should be proud of. I shall hold a magnificent feast for everypony in Ponyville. You shall also share a VIP slot next to us this royal evening. Please do not resist our offer..."

"AGH! DIS EIS AIE HOPELESS WAR! AIE AHM AFTER TRIXIE! YEW PRINCESSES ARE USELESS TEW ME!"

Princess Luna was outraged by Arnold's statement. She boomed with a mighty voice.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAKTH OF SUCH FOWL STATEMENTS! GUARDS! AFTER HIM!"

The royal guards invigorated with life from their posts. They charged after Arnold with spears pointed directly at him. The Austrian satyr bodybuilder had no other choice but to flee. He took refuge under the same stone bridge from earlier before. Just when he thought that all hope was lost, he heard the unfamiliar sounds of a wooden wagon. The wagon puller turned out to be no other than Trixie herself.

"Trixie! Please, aie need yer help. Celestia's guard aer going after meh, and deh Mane 6 aer going tew destroy demselves over meh! Aie could really use yer halp right nao." Arnold panicked to the blue unicorn. After Trixie cocked an eyebrow over the Austrian satyr bodybuilder, she told him to take refuge inside her wagon. With no other alternatives for him at the time being, he was forced to abide.

"So, what happened to your legs?" Trixie questioned back at Arnold inside the station wagon. The wooden wheels began to gain momentum.

"Agh, eit was horrible Trixie! Furst, Twilight began tew develop aie love interest fer meh. Dehn eit was Appeljack, den Fluttershai, deh Rareteh, and deh list goes aoun. Twilight even tricked meh into going to aie ritual. Aie was gullible enough to believe in har magical capabilities. She transformed meh into aie satyr abomination! Aie realleh need someponeh dat aie can trust. Please.....halp me!" Arnold pleaded back to the blue unicorn mare.

"Let's see what the great and powerful....great and humbled Trixie can do for you. Let us make ways to Zecora's hut. It might take us awhile, but I am sure that she could help you in your situation. I expect no payment from you, since you are one of Trixie's greatest friends. You can thank me later."

It took most of the day traversing across Ponyville to get to Zecora's hut. Zecora was bust brewing up a mystical potion inside her humbled home. Trixie approached the door and explained Arnold's situation to the zebra. She nodded her head and called for the Austrian Oak. Arnold uncovered himself from hiding and entered inside the mysterious hut. He would never be seen by any citizen of Ponyville ever again.

"The journey back to your home, will be an experience of seldom. We must help Arnold get back to his realm before they come after you Trixie. I will conjure a portal that should rid of your legs. Enter it and you will never have to beg."

"Alrighteh den, what do aie dew?" Arnold asked the enigmatic zebra.

"I only ask for complete silence and uninterrupted concentration. A portal shall merge from the water and the evaporation. Step into it if you want to proceed home. If not, the ponies will soon figure out that your cover here is blown."

Trixie stood on guard by the open doorway of the hut. Zecora sat erected on her tail, and began to chant in a foreign language. Arnold looked out from the window of the hut, only to see Princess Celestia and the Mane 6 closing in on their position. While the mysterious zebra could not be interrupted, Arnold began to panic. He informed Trixie to create a diversion for the search party. Shorty after, the portal materialized back to his realm before his eyes. The diversion proved to be unnecessary.

"Befoar aie leave dis realm, I just waunt to thank yew for everehthing Trixie. Yew truly aeur a friend tew Ahnuld. Aie well neva forget yew. No madder how life can put yew daough, just keep in mind dat you have a real friend out der."

This statement caused Trixie's eyes to water. She slightly sniffled to herself. The blue unicorn mare placed her blue hoof on Arnold hand before he departed. Arnold stepped into the portal, and released Trixie's hoof before leaving. The portal inside the hut vanished out of view. The Austrian Oak was now safely back inside his home realm. Celestia and the Mane 6 stormed inside the hut shortly after. Zecora informed them with one final line.

"The human you search for is no longer here. Any attempts to bring him back are no longer clear....."

The Mane 6 exchanged expressions of disappointment. They sighed in defeat, and thoroughly apologized for their hostile actions against one another. They returned home with their heads bowed in shame. Princess Celestia returned to the kingdom and informed the news to her sister. Later that night, she appeared on her balcony and gazed at the expansive night sky. Before she departed for sleep, she made one last promise to herself. One last phrase before this story has reached it's final conclusion.

"He will be back."

Comments

[randomfandom]

hes not going terminator this time

[randomfandom]

possibly...

[Frosty the Batty]

I highly doubt his return to ponyville...
Something i can agree with you for once.
Awwwww.. i wanted to see and epilogue...
I half expected one... But I digress.
Yeah, so.. idk what to say now so i'll just go now.