• Member Since 12th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 22nd, 2013

musicalDeleria


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I need opinions, somebody, anybody, please, read this and leave a comment/ critique, i have no idea what I'm doing wrong here, is it the OC? The writing style? Am I just a horrible writer? I'd like to think not but I'm so conflicted with the ratings this story has... I've never seen such negative feedback for my writing before and I just want to know what is wrong with this particular story to garner such negative ratings. I would love if someone could just explain whats wrong with it or give constructive criticism so I can fix what I'm doing wrong. It may sound silly but I'm questioning if I really am cut out for being an author as I aspire to be, that maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was and that I haven't made as much progress as I'd thought... I'm sorry, I kind of ended up rambling a bit, but please, If someone could review this and let me know the mistakes and such I would be forever grateful.


Yet again I find myself staring at this blank summary space wondering what to write to explain the tale I've twisted together. Well,I've got nothing. So I'll just tell you this, this is the story of a peculiar young mare who often finds herself in the company of a once chaotic draconequus as he serves out his sentence in his stone prison and the antics that ensue once free DiscoXOC

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 6 )

I dont find the story bad enough to downvote.

One of the thing you should be aware here is the fact that cover image made with the pony creator is the sign of mediocre story or lazy author. And some people just downvote right away, because too many stories with this kind of cover art are in fact bad ( I've read enough of these story to agree ); but so far your story is not that bad at all.

The grammar is good, you describe things, the OC don't shock me too much ( except maybe the cutie mark, but I suppose it's part of the plotstory so ... ).
But so far I find nothing in the prologue and first chapter to keep my interrest in the story.
You need to capt the interrest of the reader with the prologue and first chapter.

I actually find this story pretty well written. And here, you made it seem as if it would be bad. But it's better than my story, this story gets a thumbs up.

great story keep it up .
PS I know how you feel no one will coment on my storys earher:raritydespair:

Your writing style is very poetic and descriptive. It's refreshing to read, because it's so different. And this is all from the first chapter. Don't be discouraged because of your ratings. I'm not a professional writer by any means, but have written some fanfiction and am currently writing as well. Some people will say nice things, others won't, but what I've noticed is most people won't give constructive criticism, what is most needed. I saw your plea for help and took it upon myself to read and critique this story. I know what it's like wishing for more feedback on a story. How do we improve if no one will tell us what they actually think, besides it being good or bad.

So far I can't say much only because I have not been given much info yet. Perhaps I can be more helpful on the next chapter. I didn't notice any grammical or spelling errors, which is good.

One of the issues it might have is it's similarity with the Movie Tangled by Disney. Repunzell also has a camelean named pascal. You might want to change it. If it was completely by coincidence than you might want to note that in your story so people don't think your copying it.

The story is a little boring, but that might just be because it's the beginning and you need to lay everything down first, which isn't a problem.

An explanation for her difference might be nice... In a later chapter of course.

Still sounds good, and no errors.

Sorry if I'm not being very helpful.

I agree with everyone's comment on here. There are a few nice comments. No one has laches out, so why your so upset I'm not really sure. I write mainly for myself. In my opinion of people like it, great, but if not, oh well. It takes time for lots of people to read a fanfiction. Current updates help as well as intriguing art and summery. You've barely even tried here. Don't be upset over nothing. This will happen often when writing. If you want to write something memorable then you'll have to start by reading other stories that already are memorable and take notes on why so many people like it. Writing is not for the faint hearted.

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