The "Your Human And You" 'verse; a place where humankind are little more than animals, degraded and treated as pets by the ponies. You're lucky if they're kind. Your ass is on the line - literally - if you're 'purchased' by Blueblood. Well... this time, the ponies got the wrong human...
* * *
The Ponies had stripped me of my robe, armor, and Psi-Staff. In response, I'd lashed out with my latent psionic power, and had snapped their necks before retrieving my gear and dressing myself. Then, after retrieving the... jar... I'd kept with me in the dungeon they'd placed me in, I calmly made my way back to the Canterlot Throne Room. Before two utterly terrified Princesses, I bowed mockingly... and then I presented them with the Jar.
The Jar containing the preserved testicles of one Prince Blueblood. Blueblood himself was where I'd left him, crucified, 'stuck' to one of the throne room doors, his gelded state plain for all to see as he slowly drowned, choking upon his own blood due to a rather severe case of 'Slit Throat'. Very bad disease, that. After presenting The Jar to a whimpering Celestia - who shied away as I drew near - I turned to Luna and started to gently comb my finger's through the younger alicorn's mane.
She was a good girl, staying so quiet and still. She was, after all, intelligent enough to know what would happen if she tried anything stupid. How tragic it was that several dozen of her best Night Guard had fallen to the Templar-made weather phenomenon known as the 'Psionic Storm.' Awful bad weather, that; you often end up with a nasty case of fried brains if you stay in it too long. Her guards had learned that the hard way.
Now I was before the Princesses, Celestia shying away in horror at what I'd done to her... nephew... and Luna nuzzling gently into my hand, nickering softly, submissively. ~There's a good girl...~ I signed in hoof speak. I'd forced Twilight to teach me the language... before I'd cut off her horn... leaving the purple mare in agony. The look on her human's face had been priceless. A neutering had seen any trouble towards me from Max swiftly ended; then I'd left him and his mare in peace, if one could call laying on the floor in agony that.
Now, I combed my hands through Luna's mane and scratched her behind the ears, Celestia looking on in horror as her sister blissfully melted against me. "Wh-why..." Celestia stuttered as Luna curled about me, settling her head in my lap, "why are you doing this?" I fixed her with the same, terrible thousand-yard stare I'd given all the ponies since they'd found me in the desert, before replying. ~I am doing only what is deserved.~ I stated ~You were aware of Blueblood's abuse of humans, yet allowed him to keep doing it. You were aware of the underground human fighting rings, yet did nothing about them. And don't think I don't know about the Black Crystal you possess that saps human intelligence and will. I've seen the files you keep in your Office. I am here to right a wrong.~
"But... But Luna! Why haven't you hurt Luna?"
~Luna took one look at me and knew what she had to do. She doesn't deserve you as a sister; not after your neglect of her. Even worse, you denied her a thousand years of life, then demonized her when she returned. "Nightmare Night" indeed... I intend to treat her far better than you and your Little Ponies ever have. Even as my pet, she'll have a far better life than she currently has here.~ Luna blink-blinked, gazing up at me misty-eyed and I stared back at her, not with the thousand-yard stare, but with a gaze filled with affection. A moment later, I reached into a robe-pocket and pulled out a baby carrot I'd liberated from the Castle Kitchens. It would be a good little snack for now, until I could give her a proper feed later, when we were back at the Weyr.
Haha!
Finally, someone who hates this universe as much as I do.
Have a my friend, you deserve it
...on one hand, I'm pissed I lost my balls. On the other hand, I laughed too hard at this to care.
Brilliant! Did not see this coming, and I apologize that my universe appears to be pissing you off, even if it's mostly the spin-offs. Me, being the person I am, will take this as publicity, regardless of good or bad.
Also, this is the only thing that came to mind in the beginning:
Errr... Your OC cut off Twilight's horn and neutered Max... why? Murdering Bluejerk is one thing, the depraved bastard deserved it, but unnecessarily massacring ponies and causing horrific injury like that seems like bloodthirsty sadistic cruelty for the sake of "because I can".
Frankly speaking, this Short Shot paints the OC main character as a massive asshole and tries to put Celestia in the role of pseudo-villain simply because why not.
And I could be wrong on this, but there's nothing about this "will/intelligence draining black crystal" in the Your Human and You-verse that I can recall. Or if it is, I absolutely do not recall Celestia having anything to do with it.
I like many of your Short Shots, but this one sadly gets a big NOPE.
who-is-awesome.com/who-is-awesome.jpg
4025157
I... I thought you'd be angry; I was expecting you to blast me for this. As I said, it's not you, or your story I have a problem with, because 'you' are treated kindly there by Twilight; it's the spin-offs that get my rage up. I hate it how the ponies treat us like animals, stripping us of clothing and degrading us...
So, my Author SI - the Protoss-raised, human High Templar David - wasn't going to have any of it. Over 615 years old, a combat veteran with a load of battle experience against the Great Enemy (Zerg) and armed to the teeth with full kit and psionic abilities.
Versus ponies who would see that all for nothing and treat him like an animal. Yeah. You do the math.
4025224
Nah, it takes quite a lot to piss me off, and this... this was just brilliant. I've been following this short-story-thingy since back when it first got started, and to see this. It just made my day.
Plus, I don't mind people voicing their own opinion about what they like and don't like. To tell you the truth, some of the stories being made in the universe are kinda iffy, even for me. I approved the general plot, but then the author goes and does something stupid and I'm just stuck there, behind the computer screen, going "".
Anyways, I loved this, support it, and will back you if anyone starts giving you shit for it.
4025168
Practical reasons. Next to Celestia, Twilight Sparkle represented the second greatest threat to my existence. One spell from her and I'd have been right back where it all began, a slave at an auction. No. You think Max would take what I did to Twilight lying down? Be glad I was... merciful.
You say that now. Try saying it when you're approached by Luna's Elite Guard, fully armored, wielding weapons they are utterly prepared to use to re-imprison you, or failing that, end your life. That, and I was very angry when I wrote this, after having read a rather nasty YHaY spin-off within which a human - a thinking, sapient human, is NEUTERED. Not to mention others where the humans are neutered with what are effectively GARDEN SHEARS.
Ah, but I am an asshole. Particularly to ponies who strip me naked, then collar and enslave me and treat me like an animal. In many YHaY stories the humans go along with this and accept their fate. Not me. No.
There is mention of a crystal that the humans were digging out, or moving towards somewhere in Canterlot Mountain; I just took this and twisted it.
Eh, fine. Can't please everyone.
4025279
Awesome, man. You should read some of my other shorts where I take razor-jabs at The Conversion Bureau, Ponification, and those stories wherein Celestia and Luna act as b*tches to the human protagonist.
Exactly. If you're going to write, then write for yourself first. Your readers might or might not enjoy what you write, and they'll tell you so, but don't change your story to pander to them, otherwise the enjoyment is taken out of what you're doing and it becomes a chore.
Write what you want to write.
Well, about time someone did this. The original story is pretty good, but oh lawd, when the misanthropes got their hands on it, things went pretty downhill from there.
I also hate that universe, and it really baffles me as to how it can be liked at all.
4025420, razored jabs?
Hell no, you introduced those loathesome fics to the business end of a 12-gauge.
------------
I like your Short Shorts but at the same time, I'm a little iffy about this one because it's a pretty blatant spitefic — even if it's well written.
First time you've actually unsettled me. Well done.