Featured In4

More Stories10

  • E When I'm no Longer Here

    Spike wakes up after his 100 year sleep and realizes his friends are gone, their final gifts comfort
    2,164 words · 11,831 views  ·  537  ·  10
  • E Letters to the Princess

    Twilight must choose between becoming a leader for her people or answer the call of her heart.
    9,508 words · 6,659 views  ·  231  ·  8
  • E Just Like You

    A story about Sweetie Belle trying to be like Rarity in poetic verse
    2,081 words · 4,640 views  ·  127  ·  3
  • E The Juggler

    Derpy Juggles in a weird suit every Sunday Morning, what is this crazy mare up to?
    1,780 words · 906 views  ·  43  ·  0
  • E Lighting of a Fire

    Cheerilee has retired and wonders if she has made a difference in the world.
    4,788 words · 2,085 views  ·  59  ·  1
  • T What Mommies Do

    A story about Rainbow Dash's relationship with her mother at different points in her childhood.
    12,870 words · 4,595 views  ·  140  ·  7
  • E Everywhere You Are

    Rainbow Dash sends Twilight a message to cheer her up after she passes away.
    2,311 words · 3,548 views  ·  134  ·  7
  • T Ghost Herders in the Sky

    Braeburn has turned to alcohol to quell his pains, can a spirit save him from himself?
    5,480 words · 899 views  ·  25  ·  0

Blog Posts24

  • 128w, 3d
    Urgh..Stupid Real Life Stuff!

    Hello Everyone!

    I'm sure some of you noticed that I have been relatively quiet for a while now. That's because I have had a lot of developments occur in real life.

    I have a whopping four fics that I have been working on and plan to submit to EqD in the near future. I have recently been getting several emails from people I have worked for in the past essentially begging me for help. Being the kind of guy I am, I can't stand to leave folks hanging, especially since some of those people helped me become the writer I am today. So I have been really caught up in "real life" stuff and haven't had time for pony fics, or "real fiction" (as some call it), at all.

    So, for the few that actually read this thing, I ask you to sit tight. I'll get around to finishing and putting up the fics I'm working on eventually. Once my life settles down, I will get back to writing a little fiction for you guys. On the up side, I have to admit, not writing what would technically be deemed as fiction is really refreshing.

    Thank you for reading, remember to smile!

    6 comments · 192 views
  • 130w, 11h
    Update on Daring Do story and New Story

    Okay so I thought it was time for an update. Sorry it has been so long, but life has been very hectic.

    First thing is first, I have a new story that will be coming out soon called Lighting of a Fire. It stars everyone's favorite teacher Cheerilee!

    The CYOA story is coming along fairly well also. Right now I am at 20/400 units. This one will take me a lot longer than I thought it would, but it will be done eventually!

    Thank you all for reading, and remember to smile!

    2 comments · 122 views
  • 130w, 6d
    Daring Do and the Silver Emperor, A Choose Your Own Path Game Adventure Book

    EDIT: I have begun on the story. Progress so far 8/400 passages written.

    Hello Everyone!

    Well I have finally undertaken an new project, and by the looks of things, it's going to be the longest project I have ever undertaken. As I write this blog, I am currently thinking up ideas for my latest work Daring Do and the Silver Emperor. This fic will not just be a regular fic however, it will be a "choose your own path" story. For those of you that don't know what this is, you can read about "choose your own path" game books here.

    For those of you familiar with the series of children's books "Choose Your Own Adventure," it will be like those books, except much longer and contain more detail. For the few of you that have read them, it will be fairly similar to the books Joe Dever, Steve Jackson, and Ian Livingstone wrote in the 80s and 90s. Just like those books, this book will also have a game system attached. No, I'm not on drugs, the book will have a game system attached. Not only that, but it will also have the added mechanic of an item system as well.

    I have been a game writer for a while now, and I thought it was finally time to put my expertise to use here in this fandom. Of all the stories I have written, I have never been as excited about one as I have about this one. Normally I am humble about my work because, to be honest, 99% of the time, no matter who you are, there is always someone better than you out there (an inconvenient truth, but a truth nonetheless). But this time I won't hold back, I can easily say that this work will be the best work I have ever written. All of my other works will be left in the dust by this work, not because of storytelling, but from the added element of fun.

    When I said I wasn't holding back my personal opinion of this work, I wasn't kidding. My goal is not only for this to be the best choose your own path story in the fandom, but for this to be the best type of story like this that has been written in the past 10 years. I know that there have been a few books and games in this format that are good, but I think I can stack up to them. Books like this haven't been around for a long time, and I feel they don't get the respect they deserve.

    If this story does well, you can expect more of this type of writing from me. It is a lot more fun to write, and I honestly would rather my readers have fun with one of my stories instead of crying or thinking about their lives.

    I have just started on this story, and have quite a bit to go before it's done. I have no clue how long it will take, but seeing as I am a fairly quick writer (I can easily lay down 3,000 + words a day, and that's not even trying) it might be sooner rather than later. I won't be able to work on it everyday, since I've been getting a whole bunch of work outside of the fandom recently, but I will work on it.

    I'll try to stay updated regularly. In my next post, I will lay out the game mechanics (they are simple) and a sample passage from the story.

    Also, there is an off chance this story might not be approved on fimfic because it might not be considered a "story" by the mods. It wouldn't make it on EqD, however I feel it's best if I kept my personal opinion of EqD to myself. If this is the case, for any that are interested, I can send a link to the story.

    One more thing, I am looking for playtesters! There are a bunch of really kind people who preread my work so that it can be presentable, and without them I wouldn't be where I am today. However if you would be interested in playing this game before everyone else would, either leave me a message here or send me a PM and I will send you this game book once it is done.

    For the few of you that finished this, thank you all and remember to smile!

    5 comments · 134 views
  • 131w, 4d
    A New Story: What Mommies Do, and some other Updates

    Hello Everyone!

    First of all I want to appologize for my last blog, for those who read it. I was feeling really burned out at that point in time, and I still am a little bit. I have been taking it easy on the writing and I'm getting back into the groove of things. I have slowed myself down a bit and things are getting better.

    Another bit of news, someone crafted a piano concierto in honor of one of my stories, which honored me to no end. The piece is beautiful and can be found here. The piece was so good that it earned a feature on EqD. Dimondium is a talented musician, I have listend to some of his other stuff. I'm surprised my simple words could inspire a talented artist like him. Hats off to you Dimondium, keep up the good work and I hope you get a bunch more features on EqD and in other places.

    Lastly, I have a new story that I am going to put out soon here on Fimfic and elsewhere. The story is called "What Mommies Do," and is dedicated to my mom for mothers day. I can already hear the snickering from the other bronies, and it's not the "manliest" thing to think, but I think my mom was a pretty cool lady. She was a single mom who worked really hard to raise me, and I felt the least I could do was write a story for all of the things she did for me. Originally I planned for the story to be a children's story, but as I wrote it things changed and it turned out ot be a bit more serious. Just to set the record straight, my mother only rocked me to sleep until I was about two years old (once you read the story you'll see what I mean). Also, Rainbow Dash is not a self-insert (she and I have very different personalities), and Rainbow's mom in the story is not supposed to represent my mom (although they do have similar qualities).

    I think the work is pretty good. I have had several folks look at it, edit, and give me feedback. I have been a lot more attentive on this fic that I have on others because it's dedicated to someone important. I think the results show as this is probably the most polished work I've done. Now there is a major flaw in the piece, and there are some parts where it could be fleshed out. However, if I wanted to flesh the piece out, it would end up being about 40,000 words long, and I don't have that much time to devote on such a work. As it stands the work is under 13,000 words.

    Thank you all for reading this long blog post! I hope you are all doing well. Remember to smile!




    4 comments · 121 views
  • 132w, 4d
    Making myself Finish

    This morning I woke up and looked at my page on fimfic, the same page I look at every morning before I start work or engage in a little writing, and did not feel the same enthusiasm that I used to feel when I looked at it. This past week I have not felt the same about writing fanfiction as I normally have, and after giving it some consideration I realized why, I miss my old writing.

    I miss creating my own characters, I miss crafting my own stories, and I hate being restricted to the tiny box it seems like these characters are keeping me in. I'll be honest with the few that actually take the time to read this, I hate it. I continued on however, in the hopes of learning more about writing so that when I went back to my old writing, my work will be stronger. After about 10 weeks of writing here in this fandom, I feel my writing is as strong as ever (though as always I have more to learn).  I have all of those who have read my work to thank for that.

    My work has its shortcomings, all authors have their shortcomings, and I've come to accept this. I used to think that the greatest authors could engage all readers, and this could be further from the truth. I expect a lot of flak for this, but I recently read the story Eternal by Device Heretic. Since it seemed to be the premier story in the fandom I expected to love it. After 10,000 words, most of which I forced myself to read, I actually walked away from my computer, picked up a business law textbook, and began reading that instead. Those 10,000 words nearly put me to sleep several times. I couldn't get into the characters, I felt no emotion, and I honestly didn't care if Celestia and Luna jumped off a bridge and forgot to flap their wings.

    The work was very well written, I think the characterization was good, I got all of the background information that was required for me to get, but I hated the piece. That doesn't mean that the piece was bad by any means, and that does not take away from Device Heretic as an author, it just means that I personally don't like his work  Just the same way others don't like mine. Actually Device Heretic, in my opinion, could make a pretty good literary author with some work, and with a little more work he would make a good mainstream or genre fiction writer.

    When I write the stories I write on here, I try to quickly snare your interest and emotion as quick as I can so that you can experience the stories I write. I want you to get into those characters and know them through their actions and feel the emotions they feel through metaphor. Some people like that and some don't. Some want to read humor, some want to read stories that are long and develop extreemely long and drawn out atmospheres to engage their senses, some just want a good clop, and some want random, crazy stories. I appreciate this much more than I ever have since I entered this fandom.

    As I sit in front of this screen I look at the latest story I'm working on, my "mother" story, and feel myself hating it. I don't want to write this story. However I promised I would so I am. I don't want to write it however I will finish it how I finish all of the other works I have done outside this fandom, by drinking lots of coffee and just plowing through it.  

    Some might think this is a goodbye post, that could be further from the truth. I am still going to write here but updates might be slower. I miss my old writing and I want to get into it more. I miss writing adventures that let the reader, and not me, choose thier path (Choose Your Own Adventure). I am aware those books don't count as literature but to be honest, there are many days I hate writing literature. Most days I'd rather create scenarios than write a heartfelt story. Why? Because they are much more fun to write. The fact I make more money doing interactive fiction than general fiction does not even factor into the equation. For example I would rather write a Choose Your Own Adventure featuring Daring Doo than I would writing a story like "When I'm no Longer Here" or "D-I-V-O-R-C-E." I feel like I did a good job with those works, but I don't want to write things like that, at least as often. Of course I made mistakes, and I plan to correct those errors in those stories in time. I love to send people heartfelt messages through my work, and I enjoy it, but not as much as I enjoy writing my simple adventures that aren't considered literature. I would not go as far to say that I hate "literature" but I prefer writing extremely simple things where the plot is very paper thin and the action is high. Call me simple, but that is what I like. Stories with deep storylines tend do anything but drag me down.

    I wanted to write a story that was similar to "D-I-V-O-R-C-E," and prove to myself that I have come forward as a writer. I planned to submit it to EqD to see what they thought of it. However, now I don't want to do it. I don't want to write the story that was supposed to do that. I realize I don't need any confirmation that I am better. I do not need the approval of a fandom to show me I'm a good writer. I need the approval of myself to show that I am. That is the gateway to truly becoming a good author. Except what you do, and then work on it from there. I accept that I love very simple stories, I accept that I am moderately good at character development and generating emotion, and I accept that I prefer simple plot lines to expansive ones.

    So I will force myself to finish this story, and then delve more into my own writing. I'll still be around as often, but you may only see one or two stories a month instead of four or five.

    For those that think any of the above that I wrote is whining in some form, too bad. It's something I wanted to say.

    If you read all of this, thank you very much. Remember to smile!

      

    7 comments · 141 views
  • ...
 115
 8,146

Rainbow Dash and Applejack have been married for four years, they adopted a foal, a red pegasus named Reddawn, and settled down on the farm. However, all is not well. Rainbow Dash's demanding career as a Wonderbolt is threatening to tear the family asunder. Will Rainbow Dash choose to continue her career as a Wonderbolt, or choose to give up her career to stay in Ponyville with her family?

A very special thanks goes out to Vivex, Taranasaurus0.0, Word-Sight, and Sour Grapes who helped out with prereading, editing, character analysis, and plot ideas. Without them, this story would not have turned out half as good as it is. The wonderful cover picture for this story was done by DaVca from DeviantArt.

Please feel free to leave any comments or criticisms! If you see something wrong with the story, go ahead and tell me in the comments, I can use all of the help I can get as a writer!

First Published
6th Feb 2012
Last Modified
6th Feb 2012
#1 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Excellent. The way that this conversation was so realistic, like a fight between real people, was astounding. Bias is almost always present in these sorts of fights, where one side is obviously right and the other is only delivering fallacious arguments, but I feel that they both made legitimate points. I got the idea that these are both two good characters that love each other, but life and their dreams could pull them apart.

Really, really, really, really, really good.

#2 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

This needs to be featured. NOW.

I really dislike shipping fics. I really do. I'd rather read a HiE, or something, than read ship fics.

But when I saw this story, I was like 'What the heck, why not?'

Best choice I made in the last day.

The way you present the characters, how you can FEEL for them, is really amazing.

You say this is your first normal fic?

Bravo sir. Bravo.

*gives 5 stars*

Edit- Now with 100% more featuredness.

Congrats.

#3 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

i really liked this i myself like any kind of fic but this is one of the most down to "equstria" stories ive ever read

i must say i agree with Mister Fluttershy, and Bashfluff, so a round of "Bravos from me as well:eeyup:

#4 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

:fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry:

wow, this was truly amazing.

im not even a fan of lesbian pony shipping either

I HAVE THE POWER!*clicks on chapter 2, hard*

#5 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>191931 Thank you so much Bashfluff! I really love to write dialogue, because when I write it, I feel it lets me bring across, and give the reader a look into a character's soul without having to blatantly tell someone what they are thinking. It was so hard to avoid bias in this story. I wanted to create a story where you could feel sympathetic toward both characters, because in many relationships in real life, both peopel in an argument like this usually have good points. Even though I didn't mean to, in my first draft, the argument did end up getting slanted one way. One of the people that proofread this story, Vivex, pointed that out. I'm really glad that you think this turned out to be realistic, that is something I always strive for in my work. I'm really happy you enjoyed the story! I hope I can create more that you enjoy!

>>191980 Hey Mr. Fluttershy! I'm really honored that you feel this story should be featured. Whether it gets featured or not, what really makes me happy is that YOU liked the story. I'm really happy that you chose to read this story, and that you can feel the characters. That is something I really strive for, and can be hard to do many times. One of my biggest weaknesses as a writer is that I use a lot of simple words like one of my favorite writers, Ernest Hemingway. I was told by a "high quality writer" that this stinted my stories. I'm really happy the emotion got through, thank you for reading! Oh and you dislike shipping fics eh, have I perhaps converted you :trollestia: *Evil grins* (lol jk!)

>>192036 I am really happy you thought this fic was down to "Equestria," again that is really what I strive for when I write, and as I said it can be hard to pull off. Thank you for reading this story Big Mac!

>>192192 Thank you so much BronyRave24! You aren't a fan of lesbian shipping? Have I converted you too? :trollestia: Hehe, just kidding. But I'm really happy you liked the story! As far as type of story goes, I was never one to worry about what the characters were, as long as the author used them to tell a good story. I am really happy that you felt the story was good, that makes me feel warm inside. Oh and you have power...is it the power to breathe fire?! I have always wanted to learn how to breathe fire, or fly, either one would be awesome! Jk! Thank you for enjoying the story!

#6 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Beautiful.

I have nothing more to say.

#7 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192268 Thank you so much TAFYFSI. That means a whole lot every time I hear it. By the way, I can relate to your account name every single day! :pinkiehappy:

#8 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

I actually teared up a little. I just love a happy ending

#10 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Wow, really good. I'm so relieved that Dash stayed. If she left, I wouldn't sleep well tonight. My parents have been divorced a while and this story is essentially the issues that come up. Please continue doing these! :twilightsmile:

#11 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192304 I love happy endings too, Ezio! Not all of my stories have happy endings, but my favorite stories are those that do! :twilightsmile:

>>192305 And as well all know Awkward Feeling, Taffy gives us LOTS of nervous energy!!!!! :pinkiehappy: :pinkiehappy:

>>192308 Hi Jahalus! I think I remember seeing you before! Well I wouldn't want to keep you up all night, I'd feel really bad. I never had to go through parents that had a divorce, but I have seen friends go through it and it was very hard on them. They were in my mind as I wrote this story, and were part of what inspired it. I am really happy you liked the story, and don't worry, I will keep writing, it's kind of my addiction. :pinkiehappy:  

#12 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

As a shipfic writer/sadfic writer that has enjoyed moderate success, I can, with gusto, say that you're going places. Keep this up.

#13 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

I'm glad you chose this route- you could have, conceivably, taken the drawn out path and made her go on tour until she realized what she had left behind, and then come home begging AJ to take her back. That could have made it longer, but yeaaaaaaaaaaah.

#14 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192379 Hi John! I'm really honored a fellow shipfic/sadfic writer feels I'm going to go far! That was a possibility, but I felt that the choice she made at the end would be what Rainbow Dash would have done in that situation. I might do a long shipfic one day, I don't really have an idea for one, but I'll let me convoluted mind mull over ideas. Now that I know you write, I'll have to visit your page and check out some of your stuff! :twilightsmile: Thank you very much for reading this story!

#15 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

More!

#16 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Wow.....just.....this is a very profound piece of work you have written here my friend, and someday I hope to be able to write dialogue half as good as you can. You have also given me more ammunition to fuel the fight in my mind of who to ship Dashie with in my story that I am writing. Thank you.

#17 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Wow this is really good and very beliveable! Unlike other fics I have read, I can really connect with it and the story overall is very well written. I can't wait for more! :rainbowkiss:

#18 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

i enjoyed

good story

keep up the good work

kthanxbai

#20 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

YAY FOR MUSIC

My mum loves the CD with this song on it

I DON'T WANNA PLAY HOUSE (different song I know, but they always remind me of each other)

#21 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Manly tears

They have been shed

#22 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

Wonderful. A different take on shipping stories. While most tend to show the forming of the relationship, this one shows the gradual separation some couples feel. If I was to complain about anything, it would be that the argument felt very circular. AJ constantly returned to the "you're been selfish" while Dash returned to the "I'm doing this for my family", which is fine, but they did it over and over again for the entire scene. Still, your knowledge of storycraft was enough to counterweight that so it didn't seem overbearing.

Ending was nicely done. Very solid emotional appeal. Overall, deserving of a 4:5+ star rating, to say the least.  

#23 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192609 I shall most certainly give you more in the future Appleloosa! Thank you for reading the story!

>>192614 Thank you so much Hundashter! But I bet you are a better writer than you think you are. Many people are good writers, they just don't realize it. I am happy that I was able to provide the cannon balls and gunpowder for your creative cannon! If you ever feel you need writing help and don't have anyone to turn to, let me know. I would be happy to help you in any way I can.

>>192732 I was hoping that I made the characters believable enough so that you could connect with them! Thank you very much and I will most certainly create more!

>>192815 Thank you sargeantmoonbeam, I hope I am able to create more stories that you will enjoy!

>>192820 Clonetrooperkev, all I have to say to that is...WOLVERINES! Thank you sir, you have helped make my day.

>>192837 clap2times! WOW! I didn't know there was anyone else out there that knew of that song! Funny story, the only reason I know of this song is because my mother used to play it all of the time, along with "Sitting on the Front Porch Swing," and "I don't Wanna Play House." She played many others, but those songs stuck with me because of their deep messages. Even though I am not a huge fan of country, the messages in those songs are so strong they kind of grabbed me and wouldn't let me go. Thank you so much for reading the story!

>>192861 I have made manly tears? I am very honored. Remember, it takes a real man to cry! Thank you I am happy you enjoyed the story! :pinkiehappy:

>>192864 Hi Mazzy! I'm not sure if the other story I did "Letters to the Princess" is a traditional shipping story either. I try to do a normal shipping story, but something will happen and it will turn out different. I wanted to do a story about problems that some couples face in their relationships, and overcoming these problems. To me, this makes the love between two people grow stronger, and I love stories like that. I am really happy you liked the ending, I was hoping that came out okay! Your argument is very valid. While I was writing this, I kind of pictured AJ and RD hammering at each other with their points, just doing it in a different way each time. However, I did agonize over the point you brought up, and tried to fix it as well as I could. Although, RD did bring up that flying was a huge part of who she was, and I tried to use that to show the sacrifice she had to make if she wanted to stay with her family. Thank you so much for your feedback! Critiques like that really help me take a deeper look at what I do, and do better the next time. I am very happy you liked the story, thank you so much!

#24 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

A very awesome shipfic. It is definantly the most relatable shipfic I have ever read. Many familys have to go through his issue everyday, you just pray it doesn't happen to yours. The way you portray their side of the arguement matchs almost spoton with the show. AJ honest the entire ime telling RD what is best for RedDawn. On the other hand RD in her mind thinks that being on thw wonderbolts, her dream, is the best thing so she lets her pride get the best of her. 5/5 from me good sir!

#25 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192897

Thank god some pony got that reference. Thank you sir. You have my respect as a writer and a reader. You have a good story and hope we can see more.

in the words of the infamous commentor Wilhelm,

Good Day Sir :moustache:

#26 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

this was honestly,one of the most well-written of all the fics ive ever read(& ive read well over 500)

this was so good im actually gonna encourage people over who watch my playthrough of DS2 to go check this out

:twilightsmile:

#27 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

no words for this... only! ON TO CHAPTER 2!

#28 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

WOW! this was just... WOW! I really liked this story and ill give it a 5 star.. comon.. i mean... it even made me cry a bit! :fluttercry:

Seriously, I would love some more stories and gonna check out the rest of the stories that you wrote.

again: Well done!

#29 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

this shipfic is amazing, i could imagine this situation happening after a majority of AppleDash fan fics. It was so emotional that it made me tear up at the end :applecry: nice job :)

#30 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

I buy their anger at eachother for the reasons presented, but their argument seems really expositionary. I think at that stage in a divorce, people would tend to be much more isolated and cagey. It got me thinking 'if they are so willing to share their feelings, how did they get to this stage in the first place'.

But hats off to you for trying a story which involves REALISTIC emotion and conflict. So many writers just get caught up in the sense of the dramatic and symbolic, and don't stop to think if real people would act the same as the characters in their story.

#31 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Confrontation ·

:raritycry: you douche. why you gotta make me cry so hard, there not even manly tears, just a never ending wave of tears **BRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW** :raritycry: oh gods

#32 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

**sniffle**:applecry: you sir have stolen all my tears with your story. You may keep them.

P.S. Take all my stars

#33 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

cool shit bro

Dialogue was 10/10 and everything else looked like something out of the original show

Good job.

#34 · 141w, 3d ago · · · Resolution ·

i,m truely amazed.... you got me a tiiny bit worried when i started to read the intro for your fic

but allready after 5 lines of reading, i was inthralled. i loved the dialoge, i loved the setting, i loved the atsmophere i love everything abourt this fic.:heart:

my biggest praise to you will how damn realistic you made it all. that i takes skill and a lot of effort to do. :pinkiehappy:

tough.... if i have to make some nitpicking here it would be...i wanted to learn more abort red dawn, or just seen more of her in your story.

but its nitpicking, something i wont hold agienst you.

so when all is said and done

5 stars for you and a big brohoof from denmark:yay:

#35 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

Very nicely written. A little... Emotional for those of us who have been in little Red-Dawn's position, especially those of us whose parents didn't reconnect, but if it's emotional for a reader, that means you have done a good job. Both their points were, as everypony before me has stated, very good, and made sense, and the fact that Rainbow was shallowly disguising her own desires with the desire to care for her filly is at once apparent without being shoved in our faces, characteristic of how she would probably handle it, and relatable to many readers. It was tense and emotionally charged. Five stars! :yay:

#36 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

I can't describe with all the words in the English Language how relieved I am that you decided to have Rainbow Dash stay... I'm certain that a part of all of us would have died inside if this story had gone down the other road, and broken little Reddawn's heart in such a way.

Feelings aside, you did absolutely great work with this fic, the conversations and emotions going around were uncannily realistic.

#37 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192192

Agreeing with you here, bro. Agreeing with you here.

#38 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

amazing !

#39 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

After reading some sick and twisted fics makes many enjoy these other stories that bring sentimental value to there minds. The way that heartache was so real that I wanted to reach out to both ponies to see reason. You are a genius and deserves to be recognized. Thank you for making my day.

#40 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

It's my life's dream to become a rockstar. This story hurt me. Alot. When the time came, would I have to give up the career I always wanted for my family. Looks like I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there.

#41 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

10/10 This was a very good story. I hope to see you do more.

#42 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

I can't recall the last time I read something that made me cry this much. My Little Dashie came close, but it didn't make me start bawling my eyes out like a baby.

#43 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192950 Thank you very much newbrony! I try to make my stories as realistic as possible. It can be hard to do, placing yourself in a situation that you've never been in. I was very lucky to have the help of some very nice readers to help me get this story right.

>>193020 Not only did I see the movie, but I think I also played the board game based on the movie. It was really fun, but I can't remember what it was called. Or, at least the board game was inspired by the movie. Btw I am a big fan of war movies (They don't make enough of them anymore!) :pinkiehappy:

>>193183 Thank you very my Geacu! I really do appreciate that, and I am very happy you liked the story. I hope my story will be able to touch one of your friends as well.

>>193221 Thank you very much Kladdos! I hope that you enjoy my other stories like you did this one!

>>193306 Thank you so much marcus! I can see this happening a lot too. Especially given how both RD and AJ are. They would work as a couple but they would both have to work at it.

>>193503 Hi Canterlots! You're right about that, most couples at this stage are just ready to cut each other's throats (with a few exceptions). I had to move the story to this stage of the proceedings to give the story a sense of urgency. I am really happy you liked the realism. I don't think a story would seem nearly as powerful if the characters don't act realistically. I've read stories, published by actual book companiesm, where the stories seem extremely artificial, because all the writer did was focus on the emotion and not the characters themselves. It kind of turns me off of a story. Thank you so much, I am really happy you enjoyed it.

>>193557 Hi Agent Brony, its really nice to see you again! I shall take your tears and stars and keep them well! Thank you so much for reading this story! Remember, it takes a real man to cry!

>>193761 Thank you so much Mr. Hopper, it took a lot of work to make sure the characters were true to the show! I had a lot of help from the wonderful folks that preread my story! A great big shout out goes to those guys!

>>193772 Hi kharnes, I wanted to do more with Reddawn here as well. However in the story, she is kind of there to help symbolize the family life that Dash and Applejack have. Thank you so much! A big brohoof to you too! I used to have a friend that lived out in denmark! He was someone that drove tanks in the army during his duty time and worked in a warehouse during his off times. I miss that guy, he was really great! I am very happy you liked this story!

>>193893 Thank you Inkarus, one of the things I like to do as a writer is strive to connect to the reader's emotion. Bringing tears to someone's eyes does hurt, but I often find that after the story is over, the reader feels a little better about the traumatic event that happened. I wanted to make sure that both characters were relatable, and that there was no real "bad guy." Thank you for reading the story!

>>193898 Thank you Unwitting Brony, I am really happy these characters seemed realistic! I have to admit I am a sucker for happy endings, however this is how I actually feel RD would respond in this situation. Thank you so much for reading the story!

>>193918 Nice to see you again Mobius, thank you for reading!

>>194032 Thank you Alex! I like you profile picture, who drew that?

>>194094 Well I don't know about being a genius, but I am very happy that you enjoyed the story. I am not a big fan of sick, twisted stuff either. I have never read cupcakes and I don't think I want to, from what I've heard about it. Thank you for reading!

>>194444 I wish you luck on your quest Frizzy, being a musician is very hard work. But it is worth it if you can make it. Those kinds of choices are really hard to make but when the time comes, I think you'll be able to make the right one.

#44 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>194660 Thank you so much sniper! I look forward to doing more for you to read!

>>194717 Wow Sergeant, I am really, really honored you liked this story. My Little Dashie was the story that got me into this fandom, and to me it felt very emotionally powered. For it to just be mentioned in a sentance referencing my work, is a very high honor to me. Thank you so much!

#45 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

A good idea, excellent presentation, raw emotion, a realistic scenario, an awesome read.

Well done!

#46 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

I love sappy endings. :raritycry: :twilightsmile:

#47 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

:raritycry: This was so beautiful!

#48 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

That was so... beautiful. :raritycry: But seriously, I loved it. I could really feel like I was right there as AJ and RD were fighting, and the argument was uber realistic. 5/5

#49 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

>>192404 You got featured. Who called it? I called it. DAMN STRAIGHT.

#50 · 141w, 2d ago · · · Resolution ·

^What they all said!

Writers like you that keep me trapped reading until 3AM.

But I couldn't help get ejected from the action for a minute when:

"I recall tastin' the Rainbow that very night, and it fell a little short o' my expectations. You're too fast in more places than just the air, sugar cube."

That was good.

0 9710 29570
Login or register to comment