Chapter 1
The earth pony colt sat, alone, at a table in a secluded corner of the restaurant. A carafe of water collected condensation beside him, and a basket of bread sat untouched at his other side.
He was handsome enough, she supposed, with a coat the color of ripened wheat and a deep orange mane. She had never been able to figure out why colts tended to have more understated colors, but there it was. Twilight called it ‘dimorphism’. With all the different ponies under her care, it could be hexamorphism. And then there was her sister, and Cadance, and herself... hepta?
Celestia tsked at herself. These word games weren’t resolving anything, and they certainly weren't helping her ponies. She stepped from behind the partition wall, nodded cordially to the maître d', and suddenly that wing of the restaurant was empty.
The colt, fidgeting with his silverware, flicked his ears in irritation. He looked up to discover why his surroundings had gone so quiet, and found himself staring at an approaching goddess. “Ah, uh, y-” he blurted, “y-.. y-”
“Your highness?” Celestia offered, smiling faintly.
“Yes. Yes, your highness!” The younger pony steadied himself with his hooves at the edge of the table. “Pardon my reaction, please. This is a surprise. I didn’t even know you were in Hoofington!”
“Just for the evening, Cinnamon.” She angled her head at the opposite seat. “May I?”
Cinnamon scrambled to his feet, and half-bowed in response. “I’d be honored. Yes. Please.”
The princess laughed to herself, and slid gracefully into the seat. Across from her, the nervous colt fell into his.
“To be frank,” he began, “I didn’t think you’d know my name, your highness. I certainly didn’t know who I’d be meeting.”
“Please, call me Celestia. I am not here in any formal capacity, but at the request of my sister. She’s in the process of resuming her role, and has asked that I address this issue in her stead."
The alicorn filled a water glass and glanced at her companion. He nodded, and she filled his as well. “I did not expect to see you here, either, Cinnamon. As for your name, your sister Foxglove owns the Canterlot apothecary, does she not? I have chatted with her from time to time about her practice, and she often speaks of you. Indeed, we’ve met once before, there.”
He nodded. “I remember it well, y—I mean, Celestia. Uh, have you eaten? Would you care to place an order?”
“Yes, that sounds like a good idea. We can chat while we wait for dinner to arrive.” She sipped her water and levitated a roll so that she could butter it.
“Yes, chat.” The colt peered through the empty restaurant, and waved down the waiter. “Yes. Well, about that. I’m a little in the dark about why I’m here. My parents said that they’d arranged a meeting with someone that they thought could do me some good, and my father let on later that it might help me square away some of my, er, romantic issues.”
The waiter arrived swiftly, presenting both diners with a menu and murmured greetings, and taking their drink orders. Cinnamon ordered a cider, and Celestia opted for tea. Within moments, he vanished again.
“Issues?” Celestia popped a piece of buttered bread into her mouth, and thought while chewing. Finally, she swallowed. “That doesn’t sound promising.”
Cinnamon played with his roll, but still hadn’t sampled it. “Well, it’s his phrasing.” He set it back down on his plate. “See, I’ve been a bit unlucky in love...”
“A bit?” she asked, remembering some of the conversations with Foxglove.
“Well, a lot.” He took a gulp from his water, then continued. “You see, I’ve had a number of dates, and a few girlfriends over the years, but nothing that’s lasted more than a month.”
She nodded, but paused to speak. The waiter had arrived to deliver their drinks, and take their orders.
Some friendly discussion on the house specials resulted in orders of breaded mushrooms, spinach quiche, and raspberry tortes. Just as soon as he had arrived, he was gone.
“Efficient service,” she commented in his wake. “But back to the conversation at hand—you want a longer relationship?”
“Well, yes,” he nodded, lifting the cider mug between his hooves. “I eventually want to settle down and raise a family.”
Celestia smiled to herself, but hid it behind her cup. “What do the mares say when they hear that?”
“Most of them vanish immediately.” He shrugged. “I don’t get it. I mean, I’m not stupid. I recognize the pattern: I tell them, they leave. The question is why.”
“Well, that could depend.” She took a sip, set her glass down, and tapped her hooves together thoughtfully. “When do you tell them?”
“Well, on our first or second date, usually. I’m in no rush, but I like to make sure my plans are clear.” He looked up and met her gaze, his head tilted slightly. “Why, do you think that’s a problem?”
“I’d say it could contribute.” She rested her hooves beneath the table and leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping to conspiratorial tones. “You know, it might not be my place to say, but being so focused on the destination might just make the route inaccessible. You need to relax, and take your time.”
“Right. Relax.” He sipped his cider once more. “How long should that take?”
Celestia laughed softly, silver chimes sounding. “Oh, Cinnamon. I can see this might take quite some time.” She found it necessary to dab at her eyes with her napkin, and then set it back down.
“Listen, all that some young mares know is that they have their whole lives ahead of them. Your date? She might not know what she wants, and she might not know who she wants it with. You must be willing to let her make those decisions. If you tell her that you’ve got the whole thing planned out? She may just be scared away as all the other doors suddenly close.”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t understand.”
Celestia leaned forward once more, and spoke plainly. “They might not want a long-term relationship.”
“Then... why date?” His innocence was refreshing, but frustrating.
“Because they don’t know that yet.” She spied the waiter returning out of the corner of her eye, laden with a tray. “By forcing them to make a decision so early?” She pushed herself back from table slightly. “They may never know.”
Cinnamon’s eyes brightened. “Ah.”
Moments later, a flurry of activity left the pair with their orders, refilled drinks, and a fresh basket of rolls. Again, murmured wishes of a pleasant meal were all that remained of the host. Dinner was served.
Celestia regarded the mushrooms before her, and speared one on her fork. “You’re a conscientious colt, Cinnamon. Caring. At the risk of consonance, kind.” Gesturing with the fork, she then popped the mushroom into her mouth. “Mmm. Very good.”
“As I was saying, though, your sister speaks highly of you, as do your friends, from what I recall of our conversations. My advice to you is this: stop looking for the mare of your dreams. Start looking for a friend.”
He suddenly looked very hopeful. “Well, I have a number of mare friends. Do you think...”
“No,” she replied firmly. Cinnamon’s ears drooped immediately, and she made an effort to temper her voice.
“I think you should just be a friend. If something blossoms from that on its own, wonderful. But the harder you try to make it happen, the less likely it will.” She speared another mushroom, but watched him for a moment. He nodded, and she popped it into her mouth.
“I think I see.” Cinnamon set to work slicing his quiche.
“I will have to get that recipe, I think,” Celestia commented, then continued on the subject at hand. “I admit, I am no expert on matters of the heart, but if you look at it logically you’ll see the truth of it.”
He nodded once more, set his fork down, and swallowed. “I thank you. Sincerely. And Celestia, for someone who is not an expert, you certainly have a very warm heart.”
The princess bowed her head in thanks. “That’s very kind to say.” She spied the torte, and levitated her plate closer. “Tell me, what has Foxglove been up to, lately?”
The subject changed several times that night. Dinner continued, and an hour later, two ponies laughed together as they left the restaurant. Cinnamon made an elaborate bow, Celestia nodded her head, and the two parted ways outside the front doors. Moments later, Celestia returned to Canterlot, but did not yet enter the palace.
Instead, she strolled the streets beneath the glittering stars, and made a few decisions. First, she’d ask Luna to send the ponies with issues on romance to Cadance—Cinnamon had been the fourth colt in need of a filly in as many weeks. Second, she’d send a letter to Cinnamon’s parents about the meeting. He had some odd ideas about marriage. Finally, she’d have to find the time to visit Foxglove.
It had been far too long, and she had to admit she missed the pleasures of dinner, drinks, dancing, and a beautiful mare.
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I think she did pretty despite not be the "Princess of Love". That being said she could use a nice colt in her life.
I see pretty picture.
I like pretty picture.
Pretty picture make me happy.
Oh, and i didnt read your thing, just saying.
2407939
You might want to take another look at the ending.
2407985
Oh I know they don't hook up, lack of a romance tag kind of is a clue
2408012
2408021
Oh... right...I stand corrected
lol luna is trying to hook her up, with the wrong gender
2408012
Awww.....I read your comment and now it is spoiled
Hmm... To be honest, I'm kinda disappointed by the ending. Not in a latent homophobic way -- I keep that reserved for when I'm marching about with placards on the street -- but more in that it completely contradicted what I'd taken this story as being about up till then.
See, up till that point I'd thought this was a comment on how, being so long lived, Celestia'd be so damn stuck in her ways that any attempt at removing her from them was doomed to failure: that her attempts at dating would naturally turn towards her mentoring the other pony and guiding them to happiness at the expense of her own. And that made me all happy over the tragic payoff I was certain'd be further down the line until 'mare' appeared, I went "oh" and withered like a balloon.
Oh, and whilst you're tech. accurate with consonance, that's usually reserved for sounds after the syllabic nucleus. Using it instead of alliteration here is like using "mammals" when referring to a group of people: you're right, but not correct.
2415144
Thank you for your critique. To some extent, I agree. While I admit that playing with expectations was part of the exercise, such expectations were not the soul of the piece.
Had I been intending this a serious tale, I might have taken that route. Indeed, Celestia in my Workerverse has largely moved beyond relationships (whether to good or ill end), and is functionally asexual.
Perhaps I should have flagged more appropriately, but this was intended as a humorous one-off story for a group event, which I hope explains why I made the choices I did.
As for the "consonance" reference, I also agree. "Alliteration" would have been more accurate, but "consonance" possesses the same "hard c" sound and thus flowed better to my literary ears.
Thanks again!
2415199
I can see where you with going now with using consonance. It occurred to me about an hour afterwards that its use was probably meant to add onto the already existing alliteration, and so I now feel quite silly for having brought it up.
As for flagging it, I'd disagree. It's flagged just fine; if anything, I should have paid more mind to the "Slice of life" tag at the start. I would argue, though, that if a comedic angle was intended, your execution pre-punchline's too good. The characters and style engaged me enough that, when it cut away, I was left more with unanswered questions like "Why is Celestia putting so much effort into hiding her orientation from Luna?" than a 'heh'.
I dunno. I guess it just left me wanting more than what was offered. I suppose this means I'll be tracking down your "Workerverse", then.
2415696
The 'Workerverse' is currently a trilogy and a side story, starting with 'Order from Chaos'.
I do hope you enjoy it.
I got the impression somewhere during reading this that this story utilizes the "gender role" flip-flop idea. I'm referring to the concept that our world is historically patriarchal and stereotypically the women in our society are more likely to seek out toward long-term, family-raising relationships, but with Equestria being seemingly matriarchal then stallions would be the ones looking to raise some foals. Am I on the money?
2418765
That's how I see it. There are more mares than stallions, but there are less pressures on mares to settle down with families. As it is a Platonic society based on what one provides to the culture, having lots of kids is slightly less important than the marks on one's arse.
2419746 I admittedly am of the line of thinking that the stereotypically feminine urge to "settle down and raise a family" comes from biological, evolutionary sources. Just like men stereotypically have the "rut everything that moves" urge that comes from the biological, evolutionary urge to procreate, but not necessarily stop and take care of what you created. Of course, these are just stereotypical, "on average," anti-ideals.
So the idea that mares are "less pressured" to settle down with families because there are less stallions doesn't quite click with me. By my nature (rather than nurture) standpoint on this, mares would probably be MORE likely to claim a stallion as early as possible since there are less colts to grab. Or, polygamy with multiple husbands.
Either way, I enjoyed this story! I like where you went with the prompt from beginning to end. Though, I am slightly curious if there was an "in-world" idea in your head for why Celestia was so firm with her "NO" at that one point? Was it just to cut down that line of thinking before it went too far, or because of something in her past, or something else?
2420298
The societal pressure towards 'Equestria First' has led, in my mind, to the following:
There are mares who want families and lots of kids. Great for them! They can go find a stallion to make that happen, and often-times these mares will have cutie marks about strong families or the like. There are also mares who have no interest in children, beyond doting on their friends' kids. That's great too! These mares tend to have cutie marks that lend themselves to adventures or more solitary pursuits.
Stallions, on the other hand, are brought up to understand that they are, if not precious, then vital to the continuance of the pony line. There is a constant but subtle push towards settling down and fathering a few foals. Most stallions, then, are wed or in an arranged relationship with a mare. Or more than one, if you listen to the rumors from the frontier.
It's funny - this subject actually touches on one of the upcoming stories in my Fine Steps series. You might see a similar discussion there in the next week.
2420320 Genetics vs. Cutie Marks... The endless mystery~
I read this prior to reading the prompt, which gave me the tremendously intriguing experience of going, "Wait, it was a blind date?" I honestly spent the whole story with a tiny wonder of just why Celestia was in a restaurant, talking to this pony.
This is basically a nice piece of advice wrapped up in a pony-shaped box. That's both a strength and a weakness. :)
I liked this fic, Celestia seemed very in character and I very much liked the ending! Good luck to her
This is a sweet (=charming, touching) little story, but I think I'm going to have to agree with 2415696's long-ago comment. You do such a wonderful job selling the idea that Celestia is self-sabotaging her blind dates, that by the time you get to the punchline you're no longer telling the same joke.
It … hmm. Still sort of works as justification for Celestia launching straight into relationship counsellor mode, I guess. But it raises more questions than it answers. If she's smart enough to fix ponies' love lives with a sit-down chat, then her equally long-lived sister and the Goddess of Love damn well should be savvy enough to fling her at a wide variety of potential partners even if for some ludicrous reason they haven't already known her preferences for centuries. It's a little bizarre trying to square that plot hole with the amount of thought which clearly went into crafting things like the pony gender roles you use.
All that having been said, this was a fun little ride, very punchy for its size, and my complaint won't keep it from getting a like and fav.