Years before the return of Nightmare Moon, a group of scientists from Canterlot started a project they called Project HIVE. They worked in secret, and never reported to Princess Celestia. Celestia herself was unaware of such project until a couple days after the events of the Royal Wedding. Fearing something wasn't right, she and her sister send a group of loyal guards and scientists to discover what they can about the project. However some secrets should never be revealed.
Dude. I think we might have a new featured story on our hands :)
Please don't hate me as I start my constructive criticism. Do with it what you will.
Not sure you needed that second secret in the blurb.
I think you don't think you need the second pair of.
Also, I just feel like as if the pacing of this story's going a little bit fast. Please don't hate me for pointing these out. Like I said, do with this as you will.
However, this is actually pretty interesting. From I can tell by the good blurb (which doesn't give away much, if anything, a plus from me ), this is a pretty original idea (yet another plus) and looks like it's gonna be a good fic. I'll watch it for now and see where this goes.
Me approves of this story! And 2393876 I think so too
2394476 thank you for your criticism, I will get right on that before I continue the story
My criticism: make more chapters...
This is freaky and awesome and I have one word to say to you...
MOAR!!!!
"No! Spark, you two tell'em what we found. I'll take care of this, it's all I got."
"You're not doing this... Not without me. Im the hive killer remember?"
I just have the feeling we be seeing this kind of dialogue
Got the reference?
Impressive...
This has made a good creepypasta so far.
"She knew better than anyone how important this was. Now we got to finish this, for her!"
"Got it? Do you got it!?"
My My, other than a few human-pony errors, you did well.
But... Why... The... Buck... Is... There... a... 'SEX' tag!? It makes no sense! (not that I care really...) But Sweet CELESTIA WHAT DROVE YOU TO DO THAT!
2442665 the sex tag was because of the little implication during the feeding-on-love part in chapter 4 and the White Queen's attempts to seduce Spark Fire
2442677
*shivers*
You DO NOT want to know how deep the 'sex' tag goes to... I very rarely trust the 'sex' tag anymore (used to believe it was only minors stuff, ex. seduction), and even rarer when the words 'Project' and 'Hive' are in the title... and *shivers* changelings, especially changelings...
As I said last chapter, this was a good creepypasta. I like how it ended somewhat happily.
The morel here:
No matter what others may do to you that may leave you altered for life and even make you look like a monster, you aren't a monster if you try to better yourself for the good of everyone else. You are only the monster if you let yourself think that you are.
2442744 that was the message!
Pretty good but I would add more detail and pace it a bit more slowly and you would have an amazing story!
Best story... Ever... Of this kind of story
Which is good...
This music works.
Your're great with dialouge I've noticed!
Apoptosis,huh? sounds like someone has played Star Fox Assault.
2472150 indeed I have
D'aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Dayum. I must read this.
I like it, it holds a ton of mystery and keeps the reader going. Great job with it!