To be desired by a mare is any stallion's dream, to have a pony you could call your 'special somepony' could easily be a lifelong goal.
Frederic Horseshoepin is one of those ponies who shares the dream of having a special somepony, a mare that he can love, care for and grow old with while being cared for and loved back indefinitely until the end of their days.
But what if his affections were desired by two mares? Becoming the target of the famous Vinyl Scratch and the equally famous Octavia Philharmonica, how will Frederic cope with the competition between the two with him being the center of their attention?
Chapters (4)
Well, it's not that bad, I'll say that much, but you do need a bit of work. Like, for example, "Fluttershy-like"? Does Fred even know Flutters? I'll be honest and say, I doubt it. "An extremely shy and naive manner" would work better. Good job so far. I'll be watching this.
Not bad at all. 1,000 words and I already like and understand the protagonist. Also, were you inspired by that-one-story-that-made-Fredrick-a-noticed-character-which-I-forgot-the-name-of-in-which-the-opposite-of-what-happens-in-this-story-happens?
2317955
fair point although I was blindly assuming that most of FiM-fiction would be able to relate to the comparison of Fluttershy-like
But your wording does sound a lot better...
edit: I have changed that particular part already, but I do plan on going over it again later on today. (It was at about 2am when I finished writing this... So I probably was a bit tired at the time!)
2318005
I think I know which story you're talking about
This was nearly mine
Would this happen to be it? Although I have to admit, what drew me to Frederic in particular is that I'm a pianist as well
2318773
That is indeed the story I was talking about. I too am a pianist, at least in training. I'm all the way up to playing London Bridge Is Falling Down.
Not bad, you've deff improved! I'm excited to see more!
2323080
Thanks! English has never been my strong suite so glad to hear that there is a visible improvement :D
2320300
I've been playing piano for nine years now... but it still takes me a year to learn anything...
That's not a good thing isn't it XD?
You don't see too many fics with Freddy in them, which is funny because he has just as much screen time on the show as Octavia. As for the main characters, kudos for not going with dubstep and instead you chose to make Vinyl a chip tune artist like the always awesome: Anamanaguchi. Octavia appropriately is a little on the pompous side. Fred was the voice of reason and he can appreciate different genres because a piano/keyboard in used in damn every type of music.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/20/aRkaq4S5y0Kskl9ahfPINQ2.gif
2325229
1) I love that gif so much for some reason
2) Thanks for showing me the song! It's... well... 'awesome' seems a bit simple to describe it really.
3) Go Freddy Go~
On a side note, is it just me or does the short description of this story sound really... basic? Wrong?
It irritates me so that I can't find what's bothering me about it D:
I like that Vinyl reverts to a Baltimore accent when she's angry. XD That was a nice touch.