Fluttersnail

Just to clarify, I didin't fully make this. An anon on ponychan years ago wrote it and I was asked to upload it.

It seems to be aimed at a slightly younger audience.
(I hope this isn't the worst fic ever...)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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Liarra Sniffles

Liarra Sniffles #1 · Mar 30th, 2013 · · ·

the premise alone is enough for me to want to smother you in hugs (or any other show of affection you desire >:3) I hope you stick with it.
as for your writing, its quite good.
nice amount of differing descriptive words and not too many silly mistakes.
formatting needs a little something something to make it a little less "wall o' text" but for a first, its better than most.

now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to stop skim-reading and error checking and actually read yer story.

Liarra Sniffles

Liarra Sniffles #2 · Mar 30th, 2013 · · ·

well I'm done.
that story is great, instafav.jpg
quite funny, I was too busy enjoying myself to notice any errors and you make a giant, slimy, yellow snail sound adorable with Fluttershy's character.
I know that you probably just forgot to change this story to complete, but I would certainly enjoy reading more Fluttersnail (or any other transformations) from you.

did- did derpy just EAT part of FLUTTERSHY!?

Comment posted by UTNerd24 deleted Jul 10th, 2014

FlutterLight

FlutterLight #4 · May 17th, 2013 · · ·

Even as a snail, Fluttershy is adorable

Turai

Turai #5 · May 26th, 2013 · · ·

Well, I did like the idea and general concept, but there's quite a bit for you to work on.

The two main problems are formatting and show vs tell.

The entire thing felt more or less like a huge wall of text, try and space it up some.
For the writing itself, it felt like I just had someone sitting next to me simply telling me what was happening, instead of "showing" me if that makes any sense? There's some nice guides on how to get better at that (It's hard I know, I'm not very good at that either) online, just google "show vs tell".

My advice would be to first and foremost read ALOT of fics, see what it is that they are doing. How are they writing?
I'm not saying that you should copy another authors style or anything but to see what works and what doesn't goes a long way.

Good luck with future fics!

Comment posted by UTNerd24 deleted Jul 10th, 2014

kirbydoesmlp