One-Shot
How Twilight Actually Gained Her Wings
Written & Edited by Seven81493
She was floating. Twilight was floating. Twilight was floating, with the princess’ magic flowing around her. She could feel it strengthening her.
“Okay, I think that’s enough playing around, don’t you, Twilight?”
She could feel herself being lowered back to the floor of whatever this place was. Was it a mausoleum? A dream world? Maybe it was only for her. She could call it... The Twilight Zone!
“Wh-what do you mean, princess?”
“It’s time for you to become an alicorn like Cadance, Luna, and I.”
“An alicorn?! But, but I’ll outlive all my friends!”
Celestia giggled. That motherly giggle that she remembered hearing so often as a filly. It warmed Twilight’s heart whenever she heard it.
“Twilight, your friends are the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Time will not take its toll on them.”
“But how does that work?”
Celestia let out a frustrated sigh. She should have known that talking to the lavender mare would come with its downsides. Of course she would want to learn everything she possibly could.
“The elements chose their bearers, and that is set in stone until one of the bearers dies. But it would have to be from unnatural causes.”
“And if that happens?”
“Then the elements would most likely seek out new bearers. After all, you can never truly replace a lost friend in your heart.”
“I see. But why do I have to become an alicorn?”
“Enough questions, Twilight. Now, I need you to drink this.”
At those words, Celestia summoned a strange object into existence. Twilight had never seen anything like it. It was an aluminum can of some sort, and it had a blue and silver checkerboard pattern on it. In the middle were the words...
“Red... Bull? I don’t get it. How is this supposed to help me become an alicorn? Is it enchanted with some sort of spell?”
“No, Twilight. This was created in a lab by the finest scientists Luna and I could find. There is no need for magic. It gives you wings.”
“But how does that even work?! A drink can’t just give me wings!”
Celestia giggled once again at Twilight’s antics. She had always seemed to get worked up so easily. It was actually quite funny to watch. Her mind flashed back to the time Ponyville had gone crazy over a doll due to Twilight’s behavior. She couldn’t help but laugh at the memory.
“W-what’s so funny?”
“Nothing, Twilight,” replied Celestia, using her magic to pass the can of liquid to her student. “Now drink up. Once you down it all, you will sprout a pair of wings.”
“B-but, how does that even work?! I refuse to believe this could give me wings! If it could, imagine what would happen if some criminals got their hooves on it!”
“I too played through my mind what would happen in such a scenario. It wasn’t pretty. Therefore, this is the only can in existence.”
“The... only one? In all of Equestria?”
“Yes,” came the quick reply, “now hurry up and drink it. I don’t have all night, you know.”
“It’s nighttime? But it was daytime when I did the spell, and we’ve only been here for like ten minutes!”
Celestia gave a nervous chuckle at that, and didn’t dare make eye contact with her pupil.
“About that...”
“W-what happened?” Twilight asked, now worried out of her mind.
“Well the spell actually killed you, so that’s why you need to become an alicorn. If you don’t, you’ll stay dead.”
Down in Ponyville, Twilight’s friends were all looking for her, and they were beginning to give up hope. But even they could hear Twilight’s irate yelling once Celestia told her she was dead.
Back in The Twilight Zone, or heaven, or whatever the hay it was, Twilight was fuming.
“I’M DEAD?! WHAT THE HAY DO YOU MEAN ‘I’M DEAD’?!”
“Twilight, calm down.”
“HOW CAN I CALM DOWN?! I’M DEAD!”
“But if you drink the Red Bull, you’ll be alive once more.”
“FINE, JUST HOOF ME THE STUPID DRINK!”
Suppressing a giggle, Celestia pointed at Twilight’s still outstretched hoof.
“You’re holding it, Twilight.”
“I KNEW THAT!”
Giving a harumph, Twilight raised the can to her lips and took a taste. Just as she was about to spit it out, Celestia sealed her mouth shut.
“Do NOT spit it out. You must drink every. Single. Drop.”
Gulping down what was in her mouth, she immediately began yelling at her mentor once more.
“That is the most foul tasting thing that has ever touched my tongue!”
“Really? I had a can myself earlier to test it out. I thought it tasted quite nice.”
“What would you know about tastes?! This is horrible!”
“And you know about what’s in good taste? I read those books you wrote, and I must say, Fleshlight Spankle, I don’t approve. Now drink.”
“Can you at least cut my tongue off first? I’d rather not taste this garbage.”
“No. Now drink it.”
“And what if I refuse?”
“Then I’ll let all your friends know about your erotica. Now drink it.”
“Ugh... fine...”
Taking a deep breath, Twilight prepared for the worst. In an instant, she brought the can to her mouth and began chugging the contents. As soon as the liquid reached her tongue, she had to suppress a gag. But she pushed through, and kept chugging for about fifteen seconds. Finally, she threw the can at the ground with a proud cry of “I’m done!”.
As she yelled those triumphant words, a flash of light blinded her, and she suddenly found herself floating over Ponyville. Inside her own cutie mark. What the hay was even happening at this point? Didn’t matter. She was alive, and an alicorn as an added bonus.
As she reached the ground, she heard Applejack asking if it was her. Deciding to show off some flair, she flexed her new wings, and all of her friends’ jaws dropped simultaneously.
“Wha... I, I’ve never seen anything like it!” cried out Applejack.
After a few seconds, Rainbow Dash flew over to Twilight and began checking out her new wings. “Ha! Twilight’s got wings! Awesome! A new flying buddy!”
Twilight’s mind began to wander. Would she be faster than Rainbow Dash now that she was an alicorn? Did it even work that way? But her thoughts were interrupted by Pinkie Pie’s frantic yelling. She hadn’t even heard what Rarity had said.
“ALICORN PARTY!”
“Wow,” said Fluttershy, “You look just like a princess.”
“That’s because she is a princess.”
Everypony turned to look at Celestia, who had just descended into Ponyville. But it was Twilight who had the first words.
“OH, WHAT THE FU—”
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Great story Sev!
Also this:
You used the name I came up with in a fit of randomness!
i.imgur.com/crclbMX.gif
It's a really cool idea that Twilight is killed by her spell and beeing resurrectad as an alicorn...
That...picture.
SO MUCH DAW!
Loved this story by the way!
zikata.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/d0b2d0bad180d0b0d0bad181d0b2d180d0b5d0bcd0b5d182d0be.jpg
In Soviet Russia, Joke is overused oh god osmeone please kill me
This is silly.
I chuckled... a bit random but enjoyable.
Oh the puns
Red Bull:it gives you wings
(and heart cancer)
What flavor is that albatross you've got there?
For those that don't get the reference, this fic is far too silly
Totally random, but I like it.
I remember reading a cartoon where Twilight also gets wings from Red Bull.
The ending is bucking funny! I loved this! Definitely going to favorite it!
The "She died and needed a new body" idea is pretty good actually. Headcanon accepted.
You know what I thought was the funniest part of the episode? When Twilight got blasted, I just laughed and said "Thats it! Stories over! The End." I love pointing out times when the story would end realistically (Kid lived in a city all his life, he is transported to another world. He must defend himself against monsters with a sword. That is too common a theme, my thoughts are "Hero dies, the end.") I didn't expect the show to throw such a clear line.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Dat advert.
Lol nice I didn't see it coming but it had me rolling
. Red bull isn't the best tasting beverage out there but its not terrible.
PRICELESS!!!
Now we wait for Ponyville to explode in a purple-colored nuclear blast.
go to 17 seconds then all will be explained after
Loved it! Neat One-Shot
2308219 Whoah. What the heck is that picture!?
Fun and the red bull part was original as far as I know.
HOLD UP! Red Bull allows me to become a God? I must run to the store NOW!!!!
I was to busy laughing my ass off, Celestia said there was only one can yet she had one earlier? That's funny as shit, Gods I love comedy
Red Bull.
It puts wings on your back.
Wait........what if a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash drank some Red Bulls? Could she get more wings or wings on her wings?encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzQnHNsmnVPUPYiZqrm9fI_buVvND-2XrUZRO6qrRlsFjhCdENBQ
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDEvMzEvMjNfMjZfNDlfNTZfMjI5NjMxX19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV90d2lsaWdodF9zcGFya2xlX3RhYmxlX3JlZF9idWxsLnBuZy5wbmciXV0/229631__safe_twilight-sparkle_edit_table_artist-furseiseki_red-bull.png
Red Bulls cause alicornification?! What next, Celestia and Luna have been chugging protein shakes and that's why they are so big?!
What's that "WTF" for? Celestia's not dead, so it can't be the fact she was able to descend from there.
Also, why is it it that I imagine Celestia telling Twi she's dead with a grin and chuckling, like "Eh, the spell killed you, so ya need to drink that Red Bull, so you can be not-dead. All of it. Oh well!"
That cover art... I could use it to sweeten wasabi. Holy cow that's adorable.
*gigglesnort*
Tiny tiny typo:
"I too played through my mind what would happen in such a scenario."
- It too
Stylistic choice:
“It’s time for you to become an alicorn like Cadance, Luna, and I.”
That would sound better as "and me."
LOLZ.
I'm on Sparklebutt's side in this one. Red Bull is a vile, vile substance distilled from the fetid remnants of partially digested nectarines that have been projectile vomited by a siphilitic ninja fruit bat to cover its escape from being huggled to death by vampony Fluttershy.
Yeah, it would be better if she were forced to become an alicorn.