Life can be viewed in many ways and as many things. But nopony ever really appreciates the value of it until they face death.
Big thanks to my wonderful editor, General Tsunami
Special thanks to RubleGun for the speedy response and the cover image
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I had a lot of fun reading it!
Keep it up ^^
Ohhh, that was a good one! Nice writing!
Someone... actually got a title right in Latin.
I'm impressed. It's second declension, but irregular. You've done your research.
Well done.
So, is that a spell, madness, or just art? I think I see what you are doing, but I had to read it twice. In the train, they are reborn, correct? They forget their sins and become new? Kind of weird, and a little hard to understand, but a very cool story. I enjoyed it.
2207991 Though I wont tell you what exactly happened, I can tell you that this story was written to be a bit hard to understand, and you did fine.
2208218 If that was the intent, then that is fine.
This reminds me alot of Kawabata's "Palm-of-the-Hand" stories. You've read?
I enjoied it very much!
2210027 Nope. But maybe I should!
I'm glad you enjoyed.
Don't know why, but this made me think of Total Recall. And 'Leave Out All the Rest' by Linkin Park.
One small thing: if they had committed a murder (as it seems), even if they had their memories wiped, others would still remember it. They wouldn't be able to live normal lives unless they were relocated and given new identities. Even then, the government (or private investors, whoever is doing this) would run the risk of someone finding out and reverting their memories (or undoing what was done), someone causing trouble for them they would know nothing about, or them going back.
Sorry for that. Had to say it.
Great story. Confusing as piss, but great story. It would have been nice to know what had happened (for them to be heading to their executions (and the whole train part, of course, though at mostly the first thing)).
2210376 I'll help you out here, just because you took the time to write all that.
'Novus Initium' can refer to rebirth or a second chance. Who ever said their brains were swiped?
As well...
~Syn3rgy
2210646
This line really didn't have any impact for me. You never stated how long they were together before this all happened which makes it seem as though she was only seeing the good things that had happened in her past (kinda like that song says, which is why I mentioned it), not the new memories coming into being. For all I know, they could have been together since college, high school, or since they were fillies. All of that could have happened and she was just remembering that with all the bad things left out (or just the stuff that caused whatever they did to happen).
The way I am kinda seeing this now, is it is like the Big Bang Two from Doctor Who. Cracks in space and time appear, erasing things from history, and he has to practically hit the reset button on the universe. One girls life was changed by the cracks and when the Doctor reset everything her life resumed from the moment he reset it, but as if the cracks never happened (she grew up with her parents around, the aliens never invaded, etc.).
And still, why would someone rewrite history for two average (as you portrayed them) mares who committed a crime? It seems kinda... odd(?).
I know I had something else, but I forgot it... meh.
2210813 I'm not going to give you any more leads, because this story was written in a way for you to interpret.
You did a good job at interpreting, which means you fulfilled the stories purpose.
Glad I could make you think!
~Syn3rgy
2210916
... I hate you now.
There were just some key pieces of backstory missing that make interpreting a bit (ton) more difficult. How long they knew each other and what they did to cause someone to do whatever it was they did. Both missing. Both pretty big (in my eyes).
But whatever. You won't give me anymore details, so I might as well shut up. Great story though. Hope you write more OctaScratch (OTP).
2210220Definitely, you should--you'll love him
By the way, am I the only one who read it once and wasn't confused at all? Seriously
Hi! Syn3rgy's Editor here... I saw in the story description there he had used the wrong Username, i.e. my old one... So yeah... Just wanted to point that out...
2279109 woops. With the horridly slow connection I have in Thailand, I'll change it right when I get back.
Not only is this wonderfully well written, but it also makes you think long and hard after you finished reading it and not just purge all of it when you move onto the next story. I love this story for the reasons you portrayed in the comments below, you wanted people to interpret it as they would, not just be led down a linear path.
When I read the first paragraph, it really hooked me. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia fighting over some obvious atrocity they had just committed. The second paragraph is even more enticing with the severity of the issue highlighted by the fact that they were on a bullet train and being rushed to their executions. In a land such as Equestria, what horrible, awesome things must you have committed to have to be rushed(!) to you're execution?
As I'm reading the story though, there is a bit of a curve-ball with Octavia's sudden change of mood.
'“Don’t. Even. Remind me.” Octavia’s voice rose to a crescendo, and she shifted her weight onto her fore hooves, preparing to buck the grin clear off of Vinyl’s blood blotted face; in the flurry of action that had ensued, a stallion had gotten a good strike on her before, before….'
The following the scene with the guards threw me from what little plot I had managed to grasp so far but it did it in a good way? I couldn't explain it but it seemed like suddenly things in the carriage had changed. Then there was a small back story that, if I'm being honest, could have been a short story in and of itself. Every part of it is my favorite, that little back and forth between Vinyl and Octavia, the passion in their movements afterwards and then the cool transition from 'going to prison for crimes too heinous to admit' to 'happy little train ride'. The best part of that scene though, has to be the title and what it represents. It was...beautiful, powerful, very subtle.
After all is said and done and when Vinyl thinks to herself after seeing the National Jail, 'Never in a thousand years would anypony want to be in there', it left me with a worry. Did I misinterpret it? Is this a precursor to them on their way to Canterlot to commit earlier said atrocity? But then I read the part about them getting older again and then I get confused. I re-read it twice more and now that I have done that as well as reading the comments, I think I finally 'get' this story...and I love it.
Sorry if I'm rambling now, I'll end it here but my final thoughts on this story are that it is very advanced reading and takes a lot of time for complete comprehension. I'm sure there are a lot that got it on the fist try but it took a bit of time and slower reading for me to finally get the overall plot. Thank you for this story, it has my favorite.
9 1/2 - 10
It would've gotten Ten save for the fact that I have never given a story Ten before so consider this 'as close as'. It is still the highest rating I have ever given. One again, thank you for this amazing work of fiction that is both decisively well written and just plain awesome in it's execution.
-Boom
"What does this button do?" *Click* *BOOM*
Octavia brought her hoof from her violin and put it over top Vinyl’s muzzle.
Should be cello !!
If their minds were wiped, they would need to be put in pony WITSEC, with new names and cutie marks as well to stop them getting lynched. Or perhaps they really are being taken to execution and have blanked it out.