Pinkie's Freindship Report
Dear Princess Celestia
I learned Gilda really is nothing but a big meanie who likes to tease ponies about stuff she really shouldn't. I also learned sometimes tolerating your friend's friends can be really hard, but the solution is to just super love and tolerate them until they can't stand it anymore and give up.
Her royal highness Pinkie Pie, Queen of the Griffins.
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Oh...
What has she done?
WHAT HAS SHE DONE?!?
2167537 The funny thing about this statement is while it seems silly to me I suddenly realized at this point there is nothing even suggesting why Derpy is immortal, and your conclusion is perfectly reasonable given the limited evidence.