Fluttershy and Rarity fall into a complex situation where their assistance is direly needed--they must save Marelantis before it disappears off the face of Equestria along with the legacy of the Unicorns, but the journey isn't as easy as it looks.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I really don't know how to say this but...
Please, please, pleeeaasssee give me some constructive criticism! I promise I won't bite! If it sucks please tell me why, if it doesn't tell me what would make it better.
If there's something weird, or confusing, or even if it's something that doesn't need to be there, criticize to your hearts content... anything but the agony of waiting for an idea!!!!! .
Twilight: I got this! *nothing she says to do works*
me: lol, Murphy's Law strikes again!
To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with your story
Just like I can't give many complements, I can't give many critics, simply because the story has only started and it wasn't very explored yet
I would love to read another chapter, though, to know what happens next
don't give up on this story without giving it another chance
good luck with it if you decide to continue, but if you don't, well, good luck with whatever you need