Politics

by Dai Kirai

Just Words

3/28/14 12:15pm Equestrian Embassy, Earth

Rarity was sitting at her desk in the Equestrian Embassy, working on more paper work. It had only been a week since the Embassy officially opened and she had never been so busy. There were requests for information from news agencies, letters from humans all searching for different thing or a statement of their opinions of Equestrians; keeping an eye on ponies visiting Earth and the constant stream of businesses trying to gain an advantage. While Rarity did have others ponies to help and run things, it was still her responsibility to oversee everything.

Her newest stack of papers were in fact letters from humans that she had requested to keep abreast of public opinion on their embassy. While most of the letters were from little kids writing with crayons the first letter of the day was rather shocking:

You are all demons. Every last pony is an abomination against God. You are your imposter of a god should go back through your little portal and back to the hell from whence you came. You are just more proof that America has fallen from the path of the righteous and needs to be cleansed. You are a lot of unnatural herd animals that shouldn’t exist as anything other than a food source.

At that point Rarity had quit reading it and looked at the postmark; it was from place in Kansas that she had been warned about. This was a group that would picket at the tombs of fallen guards. What kind of barbaric people would want to kill the ones trying to protect them? I know just what to do with this letter. The Ambassador got up out of her swivel chair, carrying the letter in a white telekinetic field with her magic and sending it to the same place she sent that boorish letter from Prince Blueblood, into the fireplace that was lit for just such letters.

Lady Rarity went back to her desk and quickly penned a letter to Princess Celestia.

Dear Princess Celestia,
The Embassy on Earth has received threats from some dissidents and I am requesting some additional protection. I do appreciate having the captain of the Wonderbolts in charge of security, but I would prefer a little added security. I am requesting the services of Rainbow Dash. As the fastest flyer in Equestria she would make a great advanced warning system.
Ambassador to Earth
Lady Rarity

Rarity then sealed up the letter and put it in her outbox on the desk. Normally there would be some sort of dragonfire magic to send the letter instantly but the portal would destroy the magic it was wrapped in along with the letter. The portal also had some other odd traits that were only discovered when a pony or a person made a costly mistake regarding it. The two instances that came to her mind were both from over three months prior.

The first instance was when a pony had tried going back to Equestria in less than a 24 hour span. As her body passed through the surface of it, she started to spasm and collapsed. One of the humans workers had run over and pulled the poor pony from out of it and ran, carrying her limp form to the medical center. After a few days of testing the doctors had found that the magic of the portal had overloaded her nervous system, causing instant death. A professor from The School for Gifted Unicorns had studied her body and found out that the portal charged the body and allowed it to pass through between the worlds, but it required 24 hours for the charge to dissipate. If anyone, human or pony, traveled through it a second time before the energy had sufficiently dissipated they could face paralyzing shocks all the way to death. That incident had created a delay on all travel through the portal and almost brought the construction of the Embassies to a standstill.

The second incident about a month later had almost started a fight between the two nations in the embarkation room as the humans called it. A group of nobles had come through to get a view of the new Equestrian village on a new planet when one of the human guards had pulled a gun on a dignitary at the back of the group. All he could be heard to say was “It’s not right!” before he pulled the trigger and sent a round through the dignitaries head. The human had been quickly detained by his own people and the Equestrian guards were still ready to attack when a shriek made all eyes turn towards the body; where there had been a unicorn stallion a moment ago was now the body of a changeling. It turned out that when the changeling had passed through the portal; the disguise spell was momentarily disrupted allowing the human to see one of the known threats that the guards were to stop at all costs.

Rarity quickly finished up the rest of the letters and put them in a separate pile for the diplomatic ponies to write responses to them, which Rarity had no time to do herself and quickly checked her schedule. There had been at least one if not two meetings every day with different companies that wanted to either export their products or set up shops in Equestria, and Rarity had to approve them if they met certain standards.

3/24/14 2:00pm

“Mr. Cook is here to see you.” A disembodied voice informed Rarity before the door to her office opened and a human in a suit walked in. She couldn’t see what made this human different than any of the others she had seen. They had had off-white skin, brown hair, and wore the same black suit to meet her.

“Good morning Madam Rarity, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Mr. Cook spoke as he sat in the chair opposite her desk.

“Yes it is Mr. Cook. You were coming in today to talk about selling these ‘computers’ in Equestria?” Rarity asked, unsure what exactly they were used for.

“Yes. And I brought some examples for you to look at.” He reached down next to his chair and pulled up a black steel briefcase. He then pulled out a small flat object with a seam along the small edges. “This is a MacBook, a small lightweight computer.”

“What is a computer?” The Ambassador questioned, having some idea but also wanting to know his view of what it was.

“They are used to write notes and programs to make the average person’s life easier and can even play music.” Mr. Cook then opened up the laptop. “Let me show you what they can do; that would probably be easier.” He smiled and turned the small silver object so they could both see the screen.

“Rarity stopped the human by mildly clearing her throat. “The first problem would be that nopony outside of unicorns could use something like this, the keyboard is too small. Also the name of your company and the product itself is a bit of an issue.”

Mr. Cook was stopped short by the knowledgeable mare. “Well, we can work on the keyboard some, make it bigger for hooves or work on a different input method altogether.” He recovered quickly. “But, if you don’t mind me asking, what is wrong with the name Apple?”

“Apple is one of the biggest crops in all of Equestria; it is a staple in the average ponies’ diet. You would be using that name, which is also the name of one of the biggest suppliers of apples, to try and steal market share. And, the name of Macintosh also happens to be one of the heads of the apple family. Basically, you just need to pick a different name so it will not compete with other companies.”

Mr. Cook was stunned, he never expected for them to attack the name as a way to keep computers out of Equestria.

3/26/14 10:00am

“There is a John Sargent here to see you.” Rarity’s secretary stated as the door opened for another anonymous human in a black suit.

Rarity’s stomach churned at the thought of what this human had wanted to sell in Equestria.

“Good Morning Madam Ambassador. I would like you to allow us to sell books in Equestria. We can print them here and ship them through the portal. You would have the choice of mass market paperbacks or the traditional hardback versions of most of our books. That should make it easier since most Equestrian books appear to be in the hardback format.” Mr. Sargent then pulled out a small chart of the costs when converted to bits and the different options they were willing to work with.

“While that is quite a generous offer and very thought out for use in Equestria.” Rarity paused to form her next words, and the ones she had been dreading. “Do you even know how your books are made?”

Mr. Sargent’s brow knitted a little. “Yes, I do. The pages are printed on preselected sizes of paper and then bound together typically with glue.” His eyes widened as he realized what the problem was.

“And do you know what your adhesives are made out of? That is a barbaric practice and would turn the stomach of any pony that found out!”

Mr. Sargent tried to interrupt her. “But we don’t use that method anymore, it’s all synthetic now.” He tried to plead but the white mare wasn’t listening.

“Hooves, it is made out of horse hooves. Get out!” Rarity started to shriek, unable to maintain her calm as the human quickly got up and left, ready to type up a letter to try and get another, calmer meeting.

3/27/14 4:30pm

“There is a Mrs. Schwartz here to see you”

A strange looking woman in a purple dress came in. Rarity couldn’t point it out, but this woman seemed oily. “I represent Acme Manufacturing and I would like to thank you for allowing me this opportunity to come talk with you.”

“I am afraid I don’t know what this meeting is about darling” Rarity said in her sweetest most diplomatic voice.

“We are a company out of Texas that makes clothing and other products. What we would like is to open up a factory in Equestria so that we could supply you with the greatest of products.”

“Please stop right there.” Rarity finally placed that name and why it sounded so familiar. She had heard it from both Twilight and Lyra and how their plants in China were some of the worst human rights offenders. “I am afraid there is no place in Equestria for a sweat shop. That is why you didn’t leave a company name for this meeting. You knew it would be looked up. I am afraid that there is no place in Equestria for such a company.”

Mrs. Schwartz didn’t take the hint. “I will admit that it sounds bad, but just think of it this way. We will help you build the infrastructure needed to help progress your society into the modern age. All countries have to go through some tough times when they advance.”

“I can assure you that Equestria is quite happy where it is at.” Rarity was losing her patience after the long day. “I will give you thirty seconds to leave this Embassy or I will call the guards to escort you out.”

“But just think of the opportunity. We would even be willing to pay you a handsome fee for approving us.”

Rarity lost it, she hadn’t met anyone so…soooo… whatever since Blueblood himself. She quickly stared at the female human and gave one swift yell “OUT!!!”

3/28/14 5:00pm Equestrian Embassy, Earth

Rarity hadn’t said no to every company that she’d had a meeting with. A delightful company called Star Buck’s, a very popular coffee distributer among humans, had come to her seeking to expand its clientele to include ponies. They had even created a specially crafted logo of the Saptarishi constellation of Earth to better fit the new name. They had even agreed to start out using Equestrian ingredients and a mix of human and pony workers.

Thankfully today had no meetings so she could finally get caught up on the reports from humans and ponies dealing with each other. An underground group of ponies and humans had been caught trying to smuggle magical gems through the portal, which had cause a nightmare of jurisdictional issues between the Equestrian guards and the human Military Police.

Then there were the incidents where ponies that came to visit Earth also got in trouble, and the few that had even been imprisoned overnight. Just as Rarity started going over those reports, a small white object pushed open the door and came running up to the Ambassador.

“Sweetie Bell,” Rarity whined. “What are you doing in here?”

“But I’m bored.” The small unicorn foal whined back. Her white coat and gray-fuchsia mane reminiscent of her older sister’s. “There’s nopony around here to play with. I can’t even do anything to try and get my cutie mark.” Sweetie Bell continued to whine.

“Sweetie, darling. I am simply too busy to play with you right now.” Rarity lowered her head and sighed. “Why don’t you go play in the break room? Maybe Mrs. Note would be willing to play with you.” Mrs. Copy Note was Rarity’s secretary and had nothing else to do at the moment.

“But that’s what I’ve done all week. I want somepony else to play with.” Sweetie whined again.

I can’t just keep the poor dear locked up all day. Rarity lamented, sorry that she had to bring Sweetie with her. “Why don’t you find somepony back in town to play with? And when I get off work I promise to play a game of your choice.”

“Really?” Sweetie squeaked and darted back out the door, on a search for a playmate.

Rarity smiled, her emotions bolstered after seeing her sister so excited and lowered her head again to view the list of police reports. The one on top was a public intoxication arrest. Why was Berry Punch approved for travel? She thought, looking over the rest of the report. ‘Subject found asleep on the lawn. Escorted to headquarters so she could drink it off. Subject was grateful and commented on the strength of vodka.’ Rarity quickly scanned the others: 2 public indecency charges for a pony being naked in public, a group of rogue pegasi trying to cause a blizzard on the I-15, the same group of ponies trying to do illegal races for money, and several counts of jaywalking that she was just being notified about with no charges being filed.

Next was the list of missing ponies. Colgate had finally shown up after three days lost in some place called Yosemite. But that still left Apple Cobbler, Arpeggio, Crescent Moon and one or two others missing, only some of whom had travelled outside of the Embassy territory.

Rarity looked at the grandfather clock that rested beside the door out of her office,it stated 5:30 and Rarity groaned.

She was just getting up to leave for the day so she could spend some time with her sister when a voice spoke up. “Don’t forget you still have to pick a musician for the gala next month.”

Rarity had in fact forgotten about that particular request. A high society dinner party in Los Angeles had requested an Equestrian musician for their party. They had said something about Equestria being all the rage and it was a good opportunity for good will, but she had to select who would go so that the artist could develop their set and plan what music would be the most appropriate. And don’t forget to have them listen to some human music first. It would be just dreadful if the music was very different.

Sweetie Bell was wandering around Bridle Lake, the new name for the village that had sprung up due to the embassy on Earth. Everypony lived in one of these houses and the housing style was very similar to Ponyville, which only made it harder for Sweetie Bell. There were a few other foals in Bridle Lake, but no blank flanks except for Sweetie.

The small foal pawed at the ground, moving some of the dry dirt around. While this area had originally been a salt flat, the first thing the ponies had done upon acquiring this land was to remove it. Salt worked as an intoxicant in large quantities and was considered an impedance to the staff, the smell was so strong originally that several worker ponies couldn’t resist having some while they worked.

Sweetie continued to walk through the small town of about 300 ponies, looking for one she could spend time with. She passed Rose Luck who was out watering her garden. “How’s the garden coming along?”

The cream colored pony looked up from watering a group of lilies and smiled at the foal, her light rose mane being her namesake. “Pretty well. This area is a bit dry but I’ve been working with the small weather team here to try and find a decent balance.”

“But why are you spending so much time on it?” Sweetie asked. Although they do look really good.

“Because if this project can work, my job will be to spread plants throughout this area. Just think how wonderful it will be to no longer live in a desert, it will be an oasis. And then we could also have freshly grown flowers for lunch.” Roseluck beamed and moved on to watering a small rosebush.

“They look really tasty. Would it be ok if I had one?” Sweetie Bell asked, starting to feel a little hungry.

“I’m sorry, normally it would be fine, but this is a very important experiment.” Roseluck apologized.

“Okay. Have a nice evening.” The saddened foal moved on with the elder mare focusing back on her work.

Sweetie looked around Bridle Lake for a few more minutes but still couldn’t find anypony to play with. That’s when she saw a building off in the distance, a human building. It was the old Area 51 base and it was still manned by a small group of humans, mostly scientists that were studying the portal. “Maybe they would like to play. I’ve never played with a human before.” That wasn’t exactly true, she had been able to play with the human ambassador but he was too much like Twilight to be that much fun. She happily trotted off towards the human base; it was only about a mile to get there.

As Sweetie neared the base, she could see a human form standing outside what looked like the front door. Oooh another human. Upon seeing the green clad human she started to gallop. When she was about fifty feet away she yelled in Equestrian, not having studied the humans’ language. “Would you like to play?!”

The guard had seen the small pony approach. He shifted his stance upon hearing her yell though with his right foot going back, right hand going to his hip and left hand outstretch with the palm out. “Freeze!” He yelled in English.

OOOH! I know that word Sweetie Bell thought to herself. It means please, he does want to play! The small foal started to gallop faster towards the human; she had no idea why he was standing so funny though.

The guard pulled something off of his hip with his left hand, pointing it at the approaching pony, yelling at her in a language she couldn’t understand.

Sweetie’s eyes widened, everypony had been warned about guns. They were a small compact weapon and worked like a bow, only too fast for the normal pony to block it with magic. She tried to slow down but she was going too fast and the dry earth provided no traction. All trying to stop was doing for Sweetie Bell was to kick up dust.

Tears start to form in the young ponies eyes as she neared the guard out of control, utterly afraid of the device pointed at her.

The guard’s finger on the trigger stiffened and pulled back at the approaching threat.

Comments

[BlackJack27356]

Forced drama incoming.

[Cicero Niche]

Bullshit! I call Bullshit! You may have offed Dinky, but no way in hell you killed Sweetie Belle! Especially not in a manner like that!

Why would the Ambassador's little sister even be allowed to wander around without some form of escort? Why would the military installation where guards have orders to shoot to kill have no way of warning the nearby townsfolk who mostly don't speak English not have signs in the local language to stay away? Why would such a facility be active, and guarded so heavily? And no humans in the pony settlement around the human-ponyembassy? And did you really just use the "heartless soldier kills the innocent kid" trope just to build political tension?

I know I'm nit-picking now, but for that cliffhanger, your nits will be picked furiously. FURIOUSLY

[Dai Kirai]

2689839
Where else are the workers supposed to live, it is technically their territory. Who said they viewed each other as a risk when this was first set up?

2690594
One thing you should know about speculative fiction and scifi in general. A character is never dead unless you see it. There is no reason to just kill something and the humans aren't heartless. What is his side? Could she have been a changeling? The military does know about changelings.

Area 51 can't just be shut down and it was one guard. What were their orders? Who said Sweetie Belle didn't know English? This was based off an actual incident a few years back where a Japanese student studying in the states was killed because he didn't know about colloquialisms. Freeze isn't taught in classes and sounds very close to please.

Please, pick away. For that one it's pretty deserved.

[Dai Kirai]

2691592
I like it. Knowing there are people ready to kick my butt, it helps.
It was a problem though, knowing how much it WOULD piss people off. And will continue to do so.
Sorry if I seem abrupt or anything. I'm mostly harmless just snarky.

[Mecha G]

Please don't stuff Sweetie Belle into the fridge. I just finished reading Into the Black a few weeks back.

[Dai Kirai]

2719004
Into the Black, don't think I've read that one. Any good?

Shouldn't say this but Sweetie Belle... Like I would actually spoil it. you'll find out soon enough.

[poisedanimeBloke]

“Hooves, it is made out of horse hooves. Get out!” Rarity started to shriek, unable to maintain her calm as the human quickly got up and left, ready to type up a letter to try and get another, calmer meeting.

Rarity, you are suck a freaking dumb ass.