“So, what do you think is going on?” asked Sword Sheath. Like most members of Celestia’s Royal Guard, he was a white unicorn with his blue mane sticking out of his helmet. Of course, you couldn’t see his cutie mark underneath his golden armor. Many of the civilians often wonder if this was either the byproduct of dyes or the effect of an enchantment on the armor, but none of the guards would ever say anything about it.
“No idea,” replied Quick Strike, a similar looking unicorn who was standing next to Sword. “All I know is that ‘Captain’ Stareye called several stallions into his new private quarters.” As he spoke, Quick turned his head to survey the training grounds. Like them, the rest of the Royal Guard was just standing around, while they awaited instructions as to where they would be posted for the day.
Sword let out a sigh of annoyance. “I still can’t believe they promoted him,” complained Sword, kicking the ground with ever-growing frustration. “It was bad enough that they allowed bat ponies to join the Guard, but this? He hasn’t even finished basic training! How is anypony here supposed to take Stareye seriously?”
“I don’t know,” said Quick as he looked up at the sky. “Maybe he scored high in some strategy test or something.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” stated a voice behind them. The two turned around and then saluted Lieutenant Aerial Ace. He was an older pegasus stallion, who had fought during the last war against the griffons. According to the rumors told around the barracks, Ace had killed three dozen griffons with his bare hooves. They also noted that he was frowning, which was never a good sign.
“Good morning, sir,” they said in unison.
Aerial’s ear twitched and his frown seems to worsen. “Don’t do that,” he demanded, his voice matching his expression. The two privates blinked in confusion, slowly lowering their hooves. The lieutenant was a stickler for protocol. Anytime a member of the Guard forgot to salute, or refer to their superior as ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’, he would make them run twenty miles in their armor with additional weights as a punishment.
“Sir, is everything ok?” asked Quick.
“Not really,” replied Aerial. “And I don’t think you should be calling me ‘sir’ anymore, either. I’m a private now, same as you two.”
Both stallions stood there with their mouths open for a moment, as did any other Guard within the area. That couldn’t be right! Lieutenant Aerial Ace had been in the Royal Guard for years. He had served Princess Celestia and all the previous captains faithfully, never once complaining that he had not been promoted to Captain himself. He even invented several aerial combat formations!
Hoping this was a joke of some kind, both Sword and Quick began to check the former superior’s armor for his lieutenant’s metal. Sadly, his chest piece was bare.
Quick Strike was the first to find his voice and ask the question that was on everypony’s mind. “B-but, how did this happen?”
“Real quick,” replied Aerial with a sigh. “See, I’m not the only pony who got demoted. Tough Mountain, Sky Strike, Sentinel, Iron Hammer, and several others all got demoted. We were all called up to Stareye’s quarters, only to find the good Captain still in bed. He then used his magic to take away our medals, said we were now privates again, and told us to get out.”
“Y-you’re kidding,” stammered Sword. As Aerial shook his head, Sword fell back on his flank. All of those named were well decorated officers. Why would Stareye replace them? “Then, w-who took your jobs?”
As Aerial opened his mouth, there was a bright flash of light. When it faded, there stood a unicorn mare with a white coat, bright red mane, and teal eyes. The mare was shaking all over and panting heavily. When Aerial saw who it was, he slowly saluted her, causing the other two stallions’ eyes to widen.
“Hot Pants is a lieutenant?!” shouted Sword in utter shock. “But, why her?”
“Look over there,” directed somepony loudly. Nearly everypony in the Guard began to look around until they saw movement. Walking into the training grounds were their new commanding officers. Eyes narrowed as the first, and most obvious, thing was made clear to them. Ponies like Aerial Ace and Sky Strike (who were both pegasi), and Tough Mountain (an earth pony), had all been replaced by unicorns.
Speaking of whom, several of the demoted ponies were seen walking towards the castle gates, armor off with their saddle bags packed with personal items. All of them looked furious. Some of them could be seen muttering to themselves about something.
As they got closer, some ponies, like Sword, realized just who some of these unicorns were. There was Dinner Party, who was the nephew of a Duke. Behind him was Haut Monde, who was the son of an Earl. Then, there was High Birth whose family was one of the wealthiest in all of Canterlot.
Nearly all of them had their noses in the air, with a smile on their faces, pleased with their new positions. Yet, in the back was a mare named Crème de la Crème, whose grandfather ran the First Bank of Canterlot, who looked upset. No, scratch that, she looked downright furious.
As realization about the theme of these new promotions began to dawn on Sword, he turned his head quickly to glare at Hot Pants. It was well known that Hot Pants were Fancy Pants’ niece. As he did, he noticed that Aerial Ace was staring Hot Pants right in the eyes, his expression stone-like, as Hot Pants trembled.
“I’m really sorry, sir,” said Hot Pants in a panic. “I had no idea what Captain Stareye was going to do when he called us into his room. He just placed a metal on me and said I was now a lieutenant! When I asked why, he said that those of high stature deserve high rewards. Before I knew what was happening, he gave us his orders and told us to leave. Please, you have to believe that this isn’t the way I wanted this to happen!”
“So, you don’t want a promotion?” asked Quick.
“Well, I mean I do,” admitted Hot Pants as she turned to look at Quick. “But, the reason I joined the Royal Guard in the first place was because I wanted to earn something on my own merit. My family was really proud of me when I told them this, especially my Uncle Fancy Pants. But, now-”
“Enough of that,” chided Aerial, causing all heads to turn in his direction. Hot Pants looked shocked to see that while Aerial still had a frown, his eyes seemed to have softened slightly. “You are a lieutenant now! It is your job to lead by example, so stop complaining.”
“But, I have no idea what I’m doing!” cried Hot Pants. “And I don’t like my orders one bit. Captain Stareye wants me to tell all of the earth ponies that they are now on cleaning duty indefinitely!” She paused for a moment and blushed with a scowl on her face. “Well, he also wanted me and Crème to report to his bedroom tonight, wearing something...sexy.”
Both Sword and Quick stood there with a dumbfounded look on their faces. Cleaning duty had always changed between divisions on a weekly basis. It had never, in the history of the Guard, been delegated to a single tribe. And, then there was the bedroom order. The two of them had heard of some lowlifes in business trying things like that, but it was unheard of in the Princess’ Guard.
“Why that perverted, racist, little-” began Quick.
“Regardless of how you feel about them, you still have to carry out your orders,” said Aerial sternly. “If you don’t, then you will most likely be removed from the Guard, and be replaced with somepony else who will give the order. So, for right now, you should carry out your orders, so that you can keep your position long enough to get rid of Captain Stareye.”
Hot Pants’ ears twitched in confusion. “I can do that?” she asked.
“It’s not something that happen all that often, but yes,” informed Aerial Ace. “If it looks like a Captain is becoming corrupt, or isn’t doing his or her job, a high ranking member of the Guard can report to Princess Celestia about what is happening. If you make a strong enough case, the Captain will be remove the next day. Next best thing we can hope for is a full investigation.”
“T-that’s it?” asked Hot Pants as she fell on her plot.
“That’s it,” repeated Aerial Ace, causing Hot’s face to light up.
“Great,” Hot Pants cheerfully commented, jumping back onto her hooves. “I’ll get Crème to back me up, and then the two of us will go see her tonight!”
-x-
At the same time, Celestia was frantically racing around her room. Her mane was in complete disarray, with some strands clinging to her body, while others stood up in all directions. Her coat, normally looking pristine, looked greasy by comparison. Dark circles were beginning to appear under her eyes, indicating she needed her rest. That, sadly, was something she could not do.
All around her room were papers. Some were magically glued to the walls, while others lay on the ground in stacks. Some of them were maps, detailing various farmlands as well as lakes and rivers. While several gave status on what foods those various farms grew, where the food was distributed to, pricing, how much (if any) was left over, and so on.
There were also several parchments containing equations that Celestia herself had written. And, judging by how many large X’s had been drawn through them, she hadn’t liked the results. Off to the corner was a large pile of paper cups, which once held Celestia’s coffee.
Normally, this would have been a job for several ponies. For example, she should have had the nobles, who were in charge of each of these regions, helping her. Or, at the very least, they could have sent pony specialists who could have assisted her. Yet, that wasn’t the case. This time, she had to do the majority of the work herself.
As Celestia tried to look as a map while reading the report for the area, there was a knock on her door. Celestia ignored it, continuing to try and get her work done. There was another knock on the door, which was also ignored. Finally, the door just opened and North Star walked into the room.
“Forgive the intrusion, Princess,” he said as he bowed. “I just wanted to inform you that I have sent the dispatches as you requested.”
“Very good,” replied Celestia without turning around. “How soon tell will we get their replies?”
North Star sighed. “I’m afraid I cannot say,” he admitted. “I had them sent via magical flames, so they should have all received them by now. However, many of the ponies you are trying to contact are poor farmers, with no real access to such quick communication. I’d say, at best, it will be two weeks before we hear from them all.”
Celestia sighed herself as she hung her head. “If only I had the foresight to have placed emergency magical flames at each town.”
“Something then to fix in the future,” noted North Star gently, walking over to her.
“Indeed,” agreed the princess. “It looks like there will be many changes in the future. But, enough of that for now. Where do the nobles stand?”
North Star shook his head. “It saddens me to say that most of them are siding with Blueblood. He has convinced them that, despite the Republic’s technological superiority, our numbers and magic will win. He has also been winning their favor by telling them all of the comforts and bits they will obtain, once the Republic becomes a part of Equestria.”
“And the others?” asked Celestia.
“Don’t care,” said North Star simply, doing his best to not flinched at his princess’ disappointment. “Well, it would be more accurate to say that, while they do not desire what Blueblood is offering, they also do not wish to give up anything, nor make any enemies within the courts. I believe, however, I could persuade them to assist you if only to gain your favor.”
“No,” uttered Celestia, rubbing her forehead to ease a headache that was building. “If that is what it will take for them to do the right thing, then I do not want their help. There is a chance that we might end up going to war, and all they can think about is themselves!
“It seems I have truly allowed things to slip these past thousand years. I have been…too soft. Far too many times have I allowed my compassion and love to make my decisions. Believing that ponies will do the right thing, just because I ask them to. If I had just put my hoof down a few times in the past, we might not be facing this crisis.”
“Yet, sadly, the past is the past,” said North Star. “It can’t be changed, but we can learn from it for a better future.”
“Hopefully, Equestria will have a future,” groaned Celestia. “I’ll say this, though; Blueblood was right about the food situation. Giving the Lunar Republic that much of our crops, all at once, will be a heavy blow against us. Water is, luckily, a different matter. I plan on sending a letter to my mother, asking her to provide us with a large supply of fresh water to replace what was lost.”
“Well then, how about we go to the negotiation table, and explain this to them,” suggested North Star. “Tell them that we are sorry for their loss, but we can’t give them all that food all at once. Suggest a payment plan of sorts. A little bit of the food at a time until it has been paid in full, with a little interest. I’m sure Princess Luna wouldn’t mind.”
“That does sound like a good idea,” approved Celestia as she looked at him for the first time with a smile. “But, we’d better not tell Blueblood or the other nobles. No telling how they might react if they found out.”
“Agreed,” said North Star, who had been thinking along the same lines. “If he found out, Blueblood might try something to interfere, and will mess everything up. You know, I heard that in the Griffon Empire, any members of their court that would engage in such behavior was stripped of their wealth and then banished. Pity, we don’t do the same. I’d love to see… Princess? Are you ok?”
“The griffons,” murmured Celestia, getting a faraway look. Then, her eyes began to light up. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? We can ask them for help!”
“Princess, please slow down and explain,” requested North Star as he watched Celestia begin to search her room for something.
“We can ask the griffons to spare some of their crops to help the Republic,” explained Celestia. “The Emperor and Princess Luna seemed to hit it off, so maybe he would be willing to help her out. Wait, I’m not thinking big enough. I could ask all of the other nations if they would be willing to spare some of their crops. Who knows, maybe if Princess Luna sees what she can gain, she might consider not ending our alliance. Now, help me find some parchment!”
-x-
“Forgive me for waking you, Princess, but it is time for breakfast.”
At the sound of the voice, Princess Cadence opened her eyes. For a moment, her body jerked in surprise at her different surroundings. She and Midnight were both lying on the ground of a cave-like room. The place was dark, the only light coming from an odd moss that gave off a light green color. There wasn’t a door like the ones in Canterlot, but instead, there was a ratty looking cloth that separated the room from the hallway. Sleeping next to her was Midnight, who was curled up into a ball.
It was then that Cadence found the source of the voice. It was a young bat pony filly, perhaps a few years older than Midnight. On her back were two bowls, which she placed on the ground in front of her.
“Once you have finished, Flight Master Weeping Willow would like to see you,” said the filly before leaving the room.
Once she was gone, Cadence began to remember how she got here. After the events in Appleloosa, Cadence and several of the key ponies from Appleloosa (like Apple Peel and Thunder Shot) had met with the buffalo to begin mapping out areas the ponies were to stay away from or, at the very least, to avoid placing anything. While that was going on, the Appleloosa doctor began to examine Weeping Willow. Sadly, there was nothing anypony could do for her. She would continue to grow weaker and weaker until, eventually, she would die.
At the same time, Ruby was using this time to spend time with her mother. After being away for so many years, they had much to talk about. Dreamy Words had so many questions for her daughter, like where she had been all these years, if she had been eating alright, and if she had found a special somepony yet.
After the meeting with the buffalo had concluded, the ponies of Appleloosa offer to put Cadence up for the night, since it was getting dark. They even offered to thrown a feast in her honor. While she was touched by their offer, Cadence politely declined before asking Weeping Willow and Darkwing if her party could spend the night at the colony.
To say the two bat ponies were shocked by this request was an understatement. They couldn’t figure out why a princess of Equestria would want to stay with them. Cadence explained that she wanted to stay for a while and continue working to find ways for bat ponies to become accepted by the rest of Equestria. It would help her greatly if she could see how they lived. She also said that she wanted Midnight to get to know more about other bat ponies.
At first, Weeping Willow had been against this. The idea of a non-bat pony knowing where they lived was…unsettling. The key to their survival had always been hiding from the Equestrians. However, Chief Thunderhooves and Darkwing both urged her to agree, which surprised the elder mare. Furthermore, Cadence also offered to use her magic to assist Willow in returning to the colony. In the end, Willow hesitantly agreed.
The trip to the colony was quick and uneventful. None of the bat ponies talked to each other, keeping a look out in all directions. Ruby whispered to Cadence that they were checking to see if anypony was following them. She continued to say that given how little coverage there was, it would make it easier to spot somepony, and thus they could head to the colony faster.
It wasn’t until they reached a canyon that they began their decent. Looking around, Cadence guessed that it was about two thousand meters deep, with a decent sized river running at the bottom. Along the walls were several holes that reminded her of the homes of quarry ells. Of course, she had never seen one in pony, but had seen pictures of them back in school.
Cadence was slightly nervous as they continued to fly closer to the holes, but trusted the bat ponies. They passed by several of these holes until they come upon a slightly smaller one which they entered. As they entered, Cadence quickly realized just how small the tunnel was. It was a tight fit for ponies like Ruby and Darkwing, so for a pony of Cadence’s size, it was almost impossible.
As she struggled to continue, Darkwing informed her that this was a bit of a security thing. The smaller hole would make other ponies think that the bat ponies would take one of the larger holes, and that its small size forced them to enter one at a time. To aid in the belief that they lived in the bigger holes, various items were left in them to make any would-be threats think that they had moved on already. And, if that failed, the small tunnel would force intruders to enter one at a time, making them easy pickings in a fight.
After several minutes of walking, or crawling in Cadence’s case, the tunnel widened up to reveal that the colony was a network of tunnels within the canyon wall that bat ponies had spent years digging out. Along the walls on these tunnels would be bat ponies, who sat on blankets with various items surrounding them. These items would range from clay pottery, stone made dolls, blankets, and other items that looked like a mix between things she had seen with the buffalo, but with a pony twist to them. As she walked by, Cadence saw a few bat ponies trading items with each other. Seeing this gave Cadence an idea she could use later.
As for the bat ponies, most kept their distance from the pink alicorn. There was no display of aggression, but it was clear by their stances that most would prefer it if she wasn’t there. Instead, they focused mostly on Ruby and Midnight, asking them various questions. The ones directed at Ruby were mostly about her time as a guard and how well she was being treated. Ruby was honest with them, telling them both the good and the bad. As for Midnight, the poor filly looked a bit overwhelmed as various bat ponies asked her questions about how she came to be with Cadence.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, the members of Cadence’s party were shown where they would be sleeping. Cadence and Midnight were given one ‘room’, while Ruby and the others got the one next to them.
Now, in the present, Cadence lifted the blanket, that the bat ponies had provided her, with off of her before nudging the sleeping filly awake. It took a couple of tries, but eventually Midnight opened her eyes, and yawned.
“Mommy, I’m still tired,” she muttered sleepily. “Can I have five more minutes?”
“I’m sorry,” said Cadence gently. “But it’s time to get up and eat our breakfast.”
The small filly gave her a slow nod, too tired to talk. Cadence used her magic to lift one of the bowls and place it in front of her daughter. Midnight looked down at the contents, gave it a sniff, and then proceeded to eat. Cadence looked down at her own meal to discover a dark green mush. She gave it a sniff as well, and did her best not to gag. Whatever it was, it smelt horrible. But, she was hungry and the bat ponies had made this for her, so she ate it. However, she did so much slower than her daughter.
Once the mush had been eaten, Cadence placed Midnight on her back and the two left their room to find Ruby, as well as the other two guards waiting for her. But, they weren’t alone. Both Dusk Blitz and Thunderclap were both standing at attention, while Ruby talked to a bat pony mare. Off to the side was Darkwing, who was watching both mares.
As soon as the Appleloosan bat mare saw Cadence, she nodded her head and left in a hurry.
“What was that about?” asked Cadence as she walked up to Ruby.
Ruby turned to face Cadence with a grin on her face. “We got another recruit!” exclaimed Ruby happily.
“You mean she wanted to join my guard?” said Cadence in a surprised tone.
“Not just her,” informed Ruby, grinning from ear to ear. “There were four others before her who wanted to join.” Then, her smile fell. “But, I think you’d need to talk to them. For some reason, they believe I’m a captain.”
“Not that hard to see why,” said Thunderclap as he looked over at Dusk.
“Yeah,” concurred Dusk, nodding at Thunderclap before turning his head to face Ruby. “We have been following your lead since we left our colony. We wouldn’t be here, doing any of this, if it weren’t for you!”
“But-” began Ruby.
“What they are saying has some truth to it,” interrupted Cadence. “And perhaps, once your training is completed, we can make it official. I will need a captain for my own guard after all.”
“I-I,” stammered Ruby, who was at a loss for words at this new info.
Cadence patted Ruby on the shoulder, while giving her a reassuring smile. “Take your time and think it over. I understand that it is a big decision.” A sudden coughing sound caused the group to turn their heads towards Darkwing. Cadence giggled. “I guess we’d better be going.”
“Agree,” said Darkwing as he began to walk towards Weeping Willows home. They all walked in silence like before, but Cadence noticed that Darkwing would glance at her and Midnight every once in a while. More than once, she thought she saw a small smile appear on his face. This continued until they came to a larger looking tunnel with another ratty looking cloth covering the entrance to a room at the end. Cadence motioned her guards to remain outside, while she went in with Midnight and Darkwing.
Inside, Cadence found it to be far more decorated than the room she had been given. On the walls was several painting that looked like they depicted buffalo lore. There were several clay jars and pots littered around the room, and a decent looking table with a small cactus on it. At the other end was Weeping Willow, who was wrapped in several colorful blankets. In the middle of the room was a small fire, which was most likely lit for Cadence’s sake. Standing by the door was Darkwing.
“Before we begin,” said Weeping Willow, “I want to thank you for what you have done for the buffalo. I fear that, had you not arrived when you did, events would not have played out favorably.”
“But, it looked like they were winning,” indicated Midnight.
Willow chuckled. “True, they would have won that fight, little one,” she confirmed. “But, sooner or later, more would come. And, they would have been very angry for what had happened. After that, who knows what would have happened.”
“I am also glad things turned out the way they did,” added Cadence. “The last thing we need right now is more pointless violence and hatred. I hope that we can work together to end a prejudice that has gone on for far too long.”
Weeping Willow laughed. “Ah, the ambitions of youth. Some things are not that easily changed.”
“I know,” acknowledged Cadence. “But, what is happening here, in Appleloosa, is something that can help all bat ponies. Together, we can change how you are seen. But, only if we both work together.”
“Hoho,” laughed Weeping, ending it with a sly smile. “Now I see why Darkwing has taken such a shine to you.” Said stallion made a noise of confusion. Weeping, for her part, continued like nothing happened. “So, tell me child, what do you have planned?”
“First, I have a question for you,” said Cadence. “What have the buffalo taught you?”
“Much,” replied Weeping. “They have taught us the ways of the desert, ways to survive.”
“Does that include medicines?” asked Cadence. Weeping nodded. “Then, there is much you can offer Appleloosa in the way of trade. I am sure there are many poisonous creatures out here in the desert. Ones that they might not have antidotes for, or can get to quick enough. But you, on the other hoof, can. You also know your way around the desert, making your ponies a perfect choice to be guides or aids in a search.
“There is also the matter of your crafts. The buffalo have taught you how to make very unique baskets, blankets, and who knows what else from very little. I am sure there are ponies out there who would love to buy these things from you.”
“Even this glowing moss has such potential! I don’t know where you found it, but I’m sure it could help solve some problems. I’m even willing to bet that there are more things that you have to trade that I haven’t seen.”
“Do…do you really think those Appleloosans would trade with us?” asked Weeping.
“They have offered us jobs,” notified Darkwing before Cadence could say anything. “Or, at least, Apple Peel has. And, I am sure there are many in Appleloosa who would love to get their hooves on what we have. But, can we really trust them to trade fairly?”
“I’m sure there will be a few ponies out there that will try to take advantage of you,” said Cadence honestly. “There are those out there that would take advantage from anypony. But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Right now, you have a chance to disprove what ponies have been saying about you for a thousand or more years. It will be slow at first, but I’m sure, if both sides give it an honest chance, you can both become friends like you are with the buffalo.”
For a moment, no pony spoke. Weeping Willow closed her eyes and nodded her head several times. Then, when she did open her eyes, she looked at one of the paintings on the wall.
“Thunderhooves once told me something a long time ago,” she said. “He said that breaking and destroying things is easy. But, to create something that is good, something that will last, is hard.
“These words were in my heart as we created this colony. It is good. It has lasted. And now, we most walk down another hard path. One that will be longer and harder than anything we have faced so far. But…I believe that we will make it.”
Cadence smiled as she turned to look at Darkwing. The stallion quickly turned his head to look away, but it was too late. Cadence had seen the look on his face. His eyes had sparkled with hope and there had been a smile on his face.
Just then, however, there was a knock on the door. Darkwing moved and lifted the cloth, so that another bat pony could enter. It was the same filly that had served them breakfast.
“I am sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But a bat pony from another colony has just shown up and wishes to speak with you. He claims to be from Lone Wolf’s colony.”
“Lone Wolf?” queried Ruby as she quickly entered the room.
The filly nodded. “Yes,” she said. “And he has an important message for the Flight Master.”
“Very well,” said Weeping Willow. “Send him in. But, before you go, did he happen to say his name?”
At this, the filly looked a little nervous. “Ah, he did actually. It’s Jackal.”
As soon as she mentioned this name, Ruby’s fur turned white.
Y'know, I don't think this Project Umbrella or whatever would work. Sure, they destroyed a peice of Discord... that was petrified and couldn't fight back. If someone cut a swath of Celestia's mane and threw it into a fire, it would probably burn, but Celestia herself would almost certainly survive the same--injured, but still overall fine.
War is coming
Well, a good chapter. Not that much happened but still good.
Wow. I want banish Blueblood. Can somepony please do that. Not to mention we still have Discord Problems brewing. What to do? Great chapter.
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I agree. Equestria has done nothing but piss on the Republic. Luna keeps making an effort and what does she have to show for it? Being lied to by Celestia, having lies told about them being foal eating monsters, losing all of their food and water taken away, and now Twilight.
A lot of people have been saying that this story is just going to lose its originality if it goes to war. I disagree. The author has done hos or her best to show that the leaders are making an effort for peace but it isn't working. Several times in the past they should have gone to war but they haven't. But now that a member of the Republic has been killed or at least seriously wounded there is little reason for them not to.
Celestia needs to mare up and goddamn execute those nobles and blueblood. Or Equestria can have a race war while fighting the republic. That works too
Given Celestia's distinct inability to govern, I'd favor dissolving Equestria as a Sovereign Nation and becoming a Princesspality of the Lunar Republic.
I just want to know if twilight is okay now.
4737901 Using Celestia's hair doesn't really work with your metaphor. We don't even know if it's a tangible object. Otherwise, you have a good point.
Is twilight ok?!? I need to know and land share how could you attack twilight.
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4738320
C'mon guys! Twilight's probably fine, I mean the author wouldn't kill off twilight right?... Right?!
4738615 I've seen worse beware beware the end is nigh!
4738615
4738650
Just realized there is no sad tag so twi is fine.
4738714 Damn false alarm then the end must have been delayed.
4738714 Damn false alarm then the end must have been delayed.
Keeping the like and faves for now, but there's been SO much buildup, I hope the climax is worth it...
...and I'm sorry to have to say this, but Celestia still comes off as weak and incompetent even after the scene in this chapter.
Things are revving up, Blue Blood is messing thing up on a grand scale.
How much longer does this flash-sideways go on for, anyway? Didn't Twilight say that it would be only two weeks?
Most should be must.
T
4740479 Yes, she can, Her magic has already been supressed by pony technology from the lunar republic, it isn't much of a stretch to figure a way to kill her while she is distracted, using some payed off guards and skilled killers.
She honestly would probably be a lot safer if she decided to live on her own and just abandon the impending train wreck that is Equestria.
I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that Celestia is either brain damaged or retarded.
4740479 wrote : "C...CAN celestia be assassinated, and if so, by a mortal?"
All you need is somebeing competent with a sword and for that sword to be stained with the blood of Discord.
Equals dead Celestia.
That blood is poisoness to her then.
I wonder how Celestia just let that happen to the government compared to the Lunars it obvious who has better leadership skills
Y'know I really want to watch the lunar republic if just to see how badass they are.
just wanted to say 'yay update'!
now I'll go read it.
Can somebody refresh my memories and tell me who jackal is? Other than that great chapter, can't wait to see what the reactions of the rest of the nations will be.
4739935 Comicbook Time.
4739256 well of course. he and msot of the other nobles are canonically IDIOTS.
4738224 I however do not condone such behaviour from EITHER side. And I am VERY anti-war myself. I actually agree mroe with celestia, that one should try a gentle approach, if you use too much force and intimidation, or commit war crimes (such as, oh I dunno say, unlawfully executing a group of diplomats without even hearing their side of the story?)
At least this chapter is showing that Celestia has had enough of this shit, so maybe she'll start getting some poritive representation. Or not. it's up to the author.
and I STILL don't see Luna and ehr republic as entirely blameless in all this. After all, this all started when, rather than try and talk about it like adults, Luna isntead opted to punch a monarch in the face and run away.
One thing I increasingly find about this AU: I cannot help but think that everyone is better off with the events of canon. At least there, noone is contemplating war, blueblood is a complete nonthreat (though a douche), Equestria at least seems to be on good terms with other nations and Luna is completely sacrifing her morals due to pride and, dare i say it, arrogance.
plus very little actual racism. (zecora aside)
4744397 Yeah when they look That new Captin up in the history books you'll see by his name that will read "Killed in Action." an * (Killed by his own troops)
4743127
I've read certain stories in the "Lunaverse", mostly I was impressed by the cross over with the "near cannon" universe that showed Luna's Equestria and Celestia's Equestria where both pretty peaceful by had some differences, Lunaverse Equestria is smaller for example and the first story seemed to cast the main 6 as villains but eventually they are shown as still embodying their elements even if Trixie has a different set of friends.
4744522 or more realistically, dishonourably discharrged, if we're thinking of the same guy
4744940 true but I wanted to be funny.
Of course given this story who know maybe Celestia will have him transferred to the watch over her mother, at the bottom of the sea.
4744857 I...should probably avoid plugging other stories in the comments for a different story
but I will say the canonical mane six are shown in that universe to not be villains (fluttershy, rarity and pinkie pie aren't even antagonistic), those whoa re shown negatively are merely antagonists, not villains (Rainbow Dash is simply a jerkass, Applejack has reasons for acting like she does and Twilight is currently redeemed, though wasn't evil even before then, merely unable to fit her ehad around the diea she could be wrong about ANYTHING)
but...yeah
I love this fic. The plot is well thought out, the pacing excellent and the humor is smart and well played. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Mane 6 Comments:
I certainly love much of what Canterlot society offers, but racism is something I won't stand for! It is completely appalling!
Certainly a scary thing, I guess not only the bat ponies are looked down on in this world.
Those big meanies, parties are meant for all types of ponies.
Girls, girls, remember this is merely a what-if scenario; I can't change it or modify it. What is going on is awful, but getting angry over it won't help anypony.
Uh sugarcube, weren't you calling for Sunset Shimmer's head..... I mean it was in good intentions but .......
I guess we all can get a tad carried away...... Well as Princess of Friendship and we as the Counsel of Friendship should be able to make sure none of that exists in our world. Right girls!?
"The Rest" Right!
I know this is a important moment and all, but can't we get a cooler name than the Counsel of Friendship? Like....... the Radical, Awesome, Impressive, Nautical, Brave, Outstanding, Way cool, Daring, Awesome, Super, Heroes!..... of Friendship!
That spells Rainbow Dash..... Rainbow Dash.....
What...... what..... I didn't mean that....
Also nautical is not a term of "awesomeness", it refers to sailor ponies and maritime information
Ooh oooh! Annnnnnnnd you used Awesome twice!
Yes, that too......
4744951 okay, let's not over exaggerate here, celestia isn't THAT stupid in this story.
Also, I doubt she ahs the authority or even need to, anyway.
4749474 Sorry I was just trying to make a joke.
Sorry my seance of hummer is so dry.
4748361...
@Darthvalgaav...
1. For chapter 51's Author Note...
That thewookie1 has resumed his Mane Six Commentary, I think that is a good indicator of "better" for chapter 51's quality and storytelling progression, compared to chapter 50's reactions.
.
2. Though now that I have had the time to do a slower read-through, something that was nagging at me for chapter 51: the common slang-term for military ranks' are "stripes," not "metal" or "medals."
3. I think it would have been better to have more shown the majority of Solar Guard officers being summarily discharged, as well as just as many other Solar Guard officers quitting out of disgust for the Cronyism going on (even if they themselves had not been demoted), rather than focusing upon those simply demoted.
When Cronyism occurs, it generally results in a near-complete ousting of previous authority-personnel, to prevent the "old guard" from directly fomenting dissension among the ranks. The minority retained are those who either wind up falling into line because they cannot do anything about it, or those too valuable/useful/dangerous (such as Aerial Ace) to outright get rid of (at least, immediately &/or openly).
Well I can honestly say that this is the least terrible that you have depicted Celestia in the story thus fare. Unfortunately in my opinion there really is no way to redeem this Celestia within the confines of the story, if there was a plan to do so it should have started 40 chapters ago at the latest and even then it probably could not have been done, and reading this chapter reminded me to bring something up I had meant to much earlier, and that is your casual use of the thousand year time line. Now this is by no means a issue unique to you or even just fanfiction authors, after all tvtopes would have multiple pages dedicated to it if it was.
This apparent lack of appreciation of just how long a thousand years is and just how much can change during that time has really damaged Celestia and Equestrias portrayal beyond recovery, I know i have said similar before but Celestia doing NOTHING and Equestria not changing at all in during the last millennium is more damning than anything else. And while I really did not think about it before something has bugged me about how both nations outside of Celestia and Luna act toward eachother, both seem to view the events of 1000 years ago as recent and the slights/wounds fresh, after a 1000 years of no communication they should have all but forgotten about each other save for some myths, never mind being able to understand each other's language.
Having said that I actually went back and reread some of your justification for showing Celestia and Equestria as you have because I found it baffling. Seems you based in on a lack of Luna in season one, Zecora's episode, Luna Eclipsed, the one conversation in the Crystal empire and more recently how 'she' dealt with Teirk. Now these suggestions will not do any good in this story should you choose to take them but they may help you right a more balanced Celstia in the future, take them or leave them.
-Season 1's lack of Luna was simply due to the fact that DHX had all the episodes done befor they knew anyone liked Luna, if you need a in story reason, she was probably recovering from the massively traumatic experience of being a dark insane god locked in the moon for a thousand years and not up to dealing with anyone yet.
- I don't recall Poneyville rejecting Zecora because she was a zebra, more than likely they freaked because she was a mysterious hooded figure that lives in the Everfree forest, also they were probably spooked from that whole Nightmare Moon thing.
- I see the Nightmare Night holiday as one of only two instances of Celestia playing the long game, the other being Twilight and the Elements. Given the general lack of knowledge about Luna before her return and Nightmare Moon being depicted as a myth surrounded by a fun night for the children, or to put a finer point on it. Her alternat persona was made apart of their equivalent of Halloween rather than a malevolent dark force out to kill them all. It Seems Celestia successfully separated Luna's identity from that of Nightmare Moon and turned the Nightmare moon persona into a holiday figure for children. That would make it much easier for the nation to accept her back, only problem was Luna went to the one place that knew about Nightmare Moon and season 2 Pinkie Pie was a sociopath. Otherwise it was a brilliant play in my opinion.
- Now the Luna and Celestia conversation at the start of season 3 is interesting, one could view it the way you do very easily. However one could also make the argument that while Luna wanted to simply try the same plan that failed once already, after all both sisters combined lost the empire to Sombras'. Celestia on the otherhand wanted to send her most skilled agent to deal with it, an agent she had been preparing to become a princess herself. I always questioned why Luna had no faith in Twilight to get the job done.
- As for Teirk, I would say that after Discord fell back to old habits the Princesses where at a loss as to what to do. I am pretty sure all three of them agreed on a hail mary play since they already admitted they could not beat both Teirk and Discord combined, if I were to cast blame. I would have to place it on all three of them.
*sigh*
Well, now I've caught up, and I've gotta say...
I don't know what to think.
You seem to still have forgotten about the first chapter. You haven't referenced it at all.
The Equestrians are idiots and the Lunars are jerks.
The pacing is all over the place, and it zigzags between a ton of stuff happening in one chapter, to almost nothing important the next.
Yet...
The world you've built is fascinating.
The plot, in concept, is great.
And your backstories are well-written and interesting
I'm gonna favorite this so I can see where this goes, but I'm neither Liking or Disliking this. Not yet.
Well! A rather remarkable story you have here, I think. While it has a variety of flaws, its good points have so outweighed them in my sight that I've been quite enthralled. I blew through this yesterday and today and am quite looking forward to the next chapter.
There is one thing that rather puzzles me, though: the description and the first chapter. Now, I'm not one of those people who says that every detail not directly important to the plot ought to be ripped out of a story; I don't think that the description and first chapter are actually problematic. That said, the description, coupled with the first chapter, does seem a bit misleading, and the seeming complete irrelevance of the first chapter to the rest of the story strikes me as odd. I'm rather curious regarding why you wrote it the way you did.
edit: The first part of the first chapter, I meant; I'd forgotten that the spell was cast around midway through.
Oh I cannot wait for Celestia to find out what happened to her guards.
I see I'm not the only one to have read te Septimus Heap stories.
5509619
Quarry Eels are actually Canon. They live in the walls of Ghastly Gorge.
This is "oceanic trench" degree deep. There are some literal mountains that are not this tall. Come on, even if it's just fanfic, at least try to keep an actual sense of scale about things.
So on the subject of this new 'captain' of the royal guard. Celestia should have no issues with removing him immediately. Having someone who hasn't even completed basic, let alone officer training, in that position would be disastrous. It would be all the reason needed to remove them legitimately.
That said, the sheer amount of incompetence some of these ponies have is staggering.
Still fun to read though.
6903758 Took the words right out of my face.