Twilight let out a frustrated groan. Currently she was sitting in her office which was large enough for fifteen ponies to walk around freely and comfortably. It had to be since she had teams of scientists in there everyday going over the projects that had been assigned to them. Before her was a screen that floated in midair from a device the same size and length as a ruler on her deck. Bit it wasn’t the device that was the cause of Twilight’s anger, rather what was being displayed on it.
Since she had gotten to the research department, Assistant Director Twilight Sparkle had been working non-stop on possible alterations to Operation Umbrella. She had hoped that narrowing the field wouldn’t lower their chances much; however the end result was that they had only a thirty four percent chance of success. All Discord had to do was leave the containment area and he would then be able to strike back at the Republic. With such a big area it would make it easier for Discord to evade them.
Taking a deep breath, Twilight did her best to try and find ways around this. She entered situation after situation into the computer to try and increase there chances. Each time the purple unicorn held her breath, hoping that she would get better odds. While these changes did improve the odds, they just weren’t as high as she wanted. It wasn’t even at fifty percent yet!
“Cookie?” said a voice suddenly which caused Twilight to jump. Turning around she saw another one of her good friends, Pumpkin Slice. She was an earth pony with a light brown coat with a bright, curly orange mane. On her flank was a pumpkin cutie mark signifying her skills at cooking pumpkins into delicious treats. It was because of this skill that allowed her to become Princess Luna’s personal desert chief. On her back was a tray on cookies that smelled so mouth-wateringly delicious it caused Twilight’s stomach to growl.
“I think that sounds like a good idea,” replied Twilight with a grateful smile. Using her magic, she picked up one of the cookies. They were large brown cookies with bright orange frosting. Just by looking at them Twilight knew that they were pumpkin cookies, Princess Luna’s absolute favorite. With wide eyes, Twilight turned to stare at her friend who simply smiled back at her.
“Princess Luna asked me to make a batch for you,” she said while setting the plate on a nearby table. “After all, you have had a pretty busy week. Not only did Shadow propose but you also adopted a filly.”
“I see,” said Twilight with slight relief. There were only a hoof-full of things that normally set off Princess Luna. One of them was when somepony eat her pumpkin cookies without asking. The last time somepony had tried to do this the Lunar Princess order that the perpetrator wash the entire outside of Dome Zero with the absolute minimum supplies before he was allowed back inside.
Taking a bite, Twilight moaned in pure delight as she realized why these cookies were so special. The cookie was nice and moist while its flavor reminded her of pumpkin pie. She could fully understand why Princess Luna loved these cookies so much.
“Do you like them?” asked Pumpkin. In response, Twilight took another large bite as she nodded. “Oh that’s good. The Princess asked me to cater your wedding so I thought I’d add these cookies to the desert table.” Twilight stopped in mid bite before looking at her friend.
“You’re not, ah, going to make it a pumpkin themed wedding, are you?” asked Twilight nervously. While she loved her friends to death, sometimes they had a habit of taking something a bit too far. Right now Twilight was afraid that every dish at her wedding would have pumpkins in it. Even the cake! A little variety would be nice after all.
Thankfully, Pumpkin shook her head. “Oh no,” she said with a laugh. “Even I would get sick of pumpkins if I had them with every meal. For right now I was thinking just having the pumpkin cookies as an option for desert along with a few other things. I’m also going to be getting a few extra hooves to help out in the kitchen so there can be a better variety.”
Hearing all this, Twilight let out a relieved sigh before finishing off her cookie. She was about to ask what Pumpkin had in mind when another pony entered her office. Both ponies turned towards the door to see that it was Derpy with a big smile on her face.
“Great news,” said the crossed eyes pegasus happily. “I just heard from Dinky that her Trooper team won third place in the laser tag free for all!”
“That’s great news,” said Twilight as she turned off her computer. After all the simulations she had done, she had reached a very depressing conclusion. Talking with her friends would defiantly put her in a better mood.
“That’s not even the best part,” said Derpy. “I heard from Lightning Dust that Scootaloo got her cutie mark. She’s taking the lucky filly to get Programmed right now!”
Twilight couldn’t hold back the shock from her face. It was there for a moment or two as what Derpy had told them echoed in her head. Then her eye narrowed in anger as she marched out of the room. ‘What the hay is she thinking,’ thought Twilight. ‘I know Lightning gets impatient when she gets excited, but she should have talked to me about this first. I just hope she told Scootaloo what being Programmed means.’
-x-
Meanwhile, a certain orange filly sat in what looked like a waiting room a dentist or a doctor would have. The room was cool. Temperature wise that is. The seats were made of hard plastic making them slightly uncomfortable to sit in. Over in the corner there was a playset for foals to use as well as several toys. In the opposite corner was a table which had several magazines and books on them.
Having been here for a while, and being very bored, decided to look at some on the books. Most of them looked uninteresting, but before she turned to leave one cover caught her eye. It was called ‘Boldly Go and the Stellar Temple’. On the cover there was a mare that looked a lot like Rainbow Dash except that her coat was yellow and, instead of a rainbow colored mane, hers went from black to grey in the same pattern as Rainbow’s. The mare was in some kind of vehicle heading towards what looked like a sinister looking castle floating in the middle of empty space.
“Scootaloo,” said the receptionist causing the filly to look up from the book. “Your Programmer is ready to see you now.” Gulping, Scootaloo walked towards a door that had opened on the other side of the room.
Now more than ever she wished that Lightning Dust had stayed with her. After what happened at Dinner 51 the pegasus mare brought everypony back to Dome One. Scootaloo was about to head back to Twilight’s, but Lightning said that they should get her Programming done sooner rather than later. Scootaloo asked Lightning what she was talking about, but all the older mare would say was that she would find out when she got there. At least Lightning said that she would try to get in contact with Twilight so she could be there for her. Finally, after being dropped off at an office building, Lightning said she had to split and left the filly all by herself.
Scootaloo walked through the door and into a very friendly looking office. There was a deck with all kinds of interesting nick-nacks on it. In front of the deck was a nice cushioned chair. Along the walls were a couple of bookshelves and pictures. Behind the desk was a brown unicorn stallion with a messy black mane with glasses. He looked up as Scootaloo entered the room to give her a friendly smile.
“Hello there Scootaloo,” he said happily. “Come in. Come in. Have a seat. My name is Daily Planner and I’m going to be your Programmer. Now, before we get started, is there anything you want to ask me?”
“Well, ah, I was wondering what Programming means,” said Scootaloo after she had sat down. Planner, for his part, lost his smile for a second or two. Has jaw seemed to drop, but he quickly recovered.
“Well, that’s new,” he said as his smile returned. “I don’t think I’ve ever had to answer that question. Well, simply put, being Programmed just means that we talk about options with a filly’s or colt’s future based on their cutie mark. Take your cutie mark for example. It means that your special talent is operating high speed vehicles.”
“You mean my scooter?” asked Scootaloo.
“For now, yes,” answered Planner as he reached into his desk. He searched for a moment or two before pulling out a large stack of papers. “I’m sure that, in time, you will be able to move on to other methods of transportation and excel in operating them at high speeds as well.
“Now then, I tried to look up your grades so I can help you narrow down your options but was unable to find them for some reason. Don’t worry, I’m sure its just a glitch or something like that. So, rather than keep you waiting, I thought we could just go over as much as we can until we find something that interests you. Sounds good?”
“I guess,” said Scootaloo.
“Excellent,” said Planner. “Now then, there is always room in the Lunar Postal Department and they only require a diploma.” He then flipped through some of the papers. “But I think we can find something a bit better for you. Have you ever considered being a shuttle pilot? Taking crews of miner ponies up to the TOM’s and such? This job requires ponies with special talents like the one you have. Now, you need to have at least a C average when you graduate to apply for this job. In addition, while you’re in school you will have to take some specific classes. Don’t worry thought, their not that hard.”
“Ah, I think I might have something in mind,” said Scootaloo in a slightly timid tone. “Lightning Dust told me I might do well in the Royal Guard and…” In a way Scootaloo felt embarrassed for bringing this up. But, at the same time, she couldn’t help it. Back when she lived in Ponyville, the adults never gave her ideas on what she could do when she grew up. Not even Miss Foster encouraged her towards a goal. The only pony who had ever suggested that Scootaloo could do something in the future before she got her cutie mark (or maybe didn’t notice that she had one at the time) was Lightning Dust. She had to admit that Lightning was almost as cool as her ideal Rainbow Dash. Not to mention that both her and Shadow were both in the Royal Guard. But the biggest reason of them all was that she simply had a good time with laser tag. And, from what she had heard, the Royal Guard did things like that all the time!
“I see,” said Planner as she searched through his papers again. It took him a couple of minutes, but he soon found a very fancy looking document. “Well before we start on this one I want you to know that the Royal Guard is very hard to get into. Just to apply you will need to have a B average when you graduate. You will also need to take honors mathematics and engineering. They also need you to show them that you participated in at least one sport or after school activity. After all that you will begin private training for six months. After that, if they don’t think your skills are good enough, you are dropped out of the program.”
Scootaloo’s heart sank when she heard all this. She could barely scrape by with C’s. She didn’t know what honor’s were, but she had a feeling that they were harder than normal classes. And on top of all that school stuff, they wanted her to do something after school. How was she supposed to do all that?
Daily Planner watched as the filly in front of him sank deeper into her seat. Now, he had been doing this job for many, many years. He knew the actions of a filly who was watching her hopes vanish before her eyes and it gave him no joy. He to once sat in a seat like that one while being told that some of the things he wanted to do were out of his reach. Normally there was nothing he could do. Normally.
“Scootaloo is this something you really want to do?” he asked. The filly nodded. “Well then, perhaps there is some hope. You see, want usually happens is that I input your decision into the education network so that the schools will know which classes to assign you. But, like I said earlier, there is some kind of glitch that is keeping me from looking up your school information. Now, you need to start taking these classes two years from now. So what I’m going to do is schedule another appointment with you one year from now. Take your time and work on your grades the best you can. Get a tutor and work on some extra credit. When we next see each other we can go from there. If your grades aren’t good enough then I really can’t recommend you going for the Royal Guard and we can talk about your other options again. How does that sound?”
“Good, I guess,” replied Scootaloo who felt a little better.
“Great,” said Daily Planner. “Now, let’s go over some of your other options so you have more time to think about them.”
-x-
By the time Twilight got to the Programming office, the orange filly was walking out of the building. The little pegasus was carrying a bag full of pamphlets in her mouth. As soon as she saw her, Twilight made a mad rush towards Scootaloo.
“Are you ok?” Twilight asked quickly. “I’m so sorry Scootaloo. I wanted to wait for you to get used to the Republic before having you go to a place like this. When I find Lightning I’ll-”
“It’s ok Twilight,” said Scootaloo after she set down the bag. “It wasn’t so bad. I was just a bit confused since nopony would tell me what was going on. I guess Lightning was playing a prank on me or something.”
“Or something,” agreed Twilight as she took a breath to relax. “Well then, let’s get going home.”
“Ah, Twilight,” said Scootaloo as the two began to walk. “I was wondering, when we get home can we start studying?”
-x-
Princess Luna looked down at Sunset Shimmer with a mixture of sadness and disappointment. Sunset, at one time, had showed so much promise. However, she had allowed her jealousy to guide her actions causing her to make horrible mistakes. Now, there was nothing Luna could do for her.
“Sunset Shimmer,” said Luna in a loud tone. “I am very displeased by your actions today. It has been confirmed by the LBI that you not only cheated in what was meant to be a fun game, but you did it in a way that caused pain. Seeing how close I once was to you, I shall leave your punishment up to the Lunar Senate. Before we throw you in a cell, is there anything you have to say for yourself?”
Sunset could only moan in pain. She was laying on her back while holding her stomach with her hooves. It was doubtful that she even knew what was going on around her.
“What is wrong with her?” asked Luna to one of her guards.
“She (gulp) ate the special at Diner 51,” replied the guard. Luna’s eyes widened when she heard that. She then turned to look at Sunset once more who had begun to gag as if she felt something pushing its way up her throat. Luna then saw the lump coming up the more mare’s throat. Sunset opened her mouth and then a small black alien jumped out of her mouth. The alien then went over to Sunset, forcibly opened her mouth, and pulled out a straw hat and a cane. The alien put the hat on and tucked the cane under its armpit as it began to sing and dance.
"Hello, my baby!
Hello, my honey!
Hello, my ragtime gal!
Send me a kiss by wire.
Baby, my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me,
Honey, you lose me.
Then you'll be left alone.
Oh baby, telephone
And tell me I'm
Your own!"
When it was over, the alien held out its straw hat in front of the Princess of the Night. With a nervous smile, Luna levitated a few bits into the alien’s hat. As soon as he had the coins, the alien danced out of the throne room.
-x-
Princess Cadence sighed as she walked down the corridors of the Canterlot Castle. She knew that the nobles wouldn’t like the changes she would be making to help the bat ponies, but it didn’t make things any easier. After Celestia had giver her the task of improving things for the bat ponies, the pink pony princess had been met with more resistance than she had thought possible. Some of the laws were simple, like making it illegal for an employer to deny employment to a bat pony without reason. Other laws dealt with orphanages to make sure they were treating the bat foals properly.
Sadly, the nobles were making everyone of her efforts difficult. They were using every trick in the book to ensure that what she was doing would take as long as possible to take effect. Some were downright insulting her to her face with no care of the consequences. The only relief that the Princess of Love had right now was that the mares from Ponyville were watching her daughter. At least this way she could work with fewer worries.
Just then, a messenger pony came running up to her in a panic.
“I was told to get this to Princess Celestia as soon as possible,” he said as he showed her a scroll. “But she’s locked herself in her room again. I-I don’t know what to do! There was a foalnapping in Ponyville and-”
“I will look into it,” said Cadence as she took the scroll.
“Thank you princess,” said the pony as he walked away. As he did, Cadence began to read the scroll.
“No,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
PFFFFFT.
You TROLL!
Also... The Spaceballs reference... Nice. I tip my hat to you at that.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Why
what is with you and cliff-hangers
I just wanted to read more
welp gotta go back and watch that loony tunes episode
and you my good person are a troll
Oh-ho-HO! Cadence has a plan, it seems. I think I like where this is going.
That's why you always order the soup.
Great chapter! And I hope luma doesn't have to use operation umbrella.
oh god... i have been playing too much RE... i thought of zombies when i saw project umbrella in this one, when i didnt when i first read it
Looney Toons
Space Balls
2936257 She probably will, but it'll either wind up being shut down before any damage could be done, or it'll get destroyed somehow or another.
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACEEE.................balls.
Great chapter. Loved the space ball's joke.
...Pfffft-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...! Okay, that dancing alien bit was so out of left-field that it has its own zip code. Oh, the comedy gold that I have just witnessed is leaving a big fat smile on my face!
But, on a serious note, I will say that Operation Umbrella is the worst idea they could ever conceived. Something telling me that they are going to regret coming up with that monstrous concept. It is just waiting to backfire on them, I swear it. All evil things, like that vile thing, has a tendency of backfiring on its creators.
On Equestia, we got the Princess of Love hatching a plan. And, considering the moves that she have been making so far seems to be doing good so far (on a 'more-or-less' pattern), this might end surprisingly well. ...You know, thinking about the sly, sneaky princess, it does get me thinking: where is Queen Chrysalis in this universe...?
C&C:
Bit it wasn’t the device that was the cause of Twilight’s anger...
> Replace ‘Bit’ with ‘But’, then put a comma after it.
Spaceballs reference which had prior referenced Looney Tunes.
In Lunar Republic, practically any offense = overblown punishment. They are shaping up to be more of a Soviet Republic.
I think throwing Sunset in a prison pod for decades which by the way sounds a lot like a HELL that causes permanent mental scares is a too extreme. Never said anything about this before but that's just what it seems like to me. I like Sunset. But even if I didn't that punishment just reminds me of the last part of episode of Angel where one bad guy was put into a container, he was unable to move, unable to die and he would awake and aware forever with only a little window to the outside to see and at the end of a speech Angel said. "Welcome to hell." Just seems that sort of murder that that punishment is disproportionate to the crime. I would think that she would be placed under house arrest under the supervision of her colt friend Flash Sentry.
But on a slightly lighter note I thought of a near future scenario. With peace between Equestria and the Republic a ambassador from the Minotaurs would visit and Luna would offer one of the Pumpkin cookies to him. But not taking Celestia's advice of looking over a file she had on him she would not know that the Ambassador was allergic to pumpkins and if they didn't rush him into a hospital The Republic would be at war which history book would say was caused by "Death by cookie."
2936745
at least it didn't bust out of her chest
and Luna has to keep a firm hoof i think this is better than spacing the offender
So, how many more chapters before Discord gets out? Really, the conflict between Canterlot and the Republic should have had enough Chaos and conflict for Discord to get out by now? And the ensuring conflict in Equestria about bat ponies to escalate with the new laws being implemented.
Spaceballs FTW! *ponysquee*
Now we just need a tf2 ref, dr who, and last but not least Big Bang theory ref
Spaceball reference, this fic just got 100% better.
No a better punishment for Sunset Shimmer would to only eat the special each day for a year that would make it so that she would never do that again
Nice up date, Thank you.
Spaceballs reference cool.
But why do I get the feeling that Cadance is about to do something really big.
I hope will see more soon.
Good luck, best wish.
2938700
Sigh, it looks like you didn't read my AN box. I won't be updating this story for a while. The reason is explained there
So there is going to be no repercussions from what happened in the programming room?
2940136
????
Cadence.....what are you doing?
Oh... my...... god
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Oh the deliciousness of absurd comedy.
Dude, Mel Brooks would have feel proud of the scene of Luna and Sunset.
Does anyone wants to rewatch Spaceballs today?
Looney Toons reference FTW!
2938729 No I did I meant soon after that.
I am sorry for the confusion.
Spaceballs referance...
(Apologies for the length)
I have found myself torn while reading the last few chapters of this story as to whether or not to post my thoughts on it, and I found myself strangely compelled to do so. I have followed this story essentially since the day you posted it and as of the latest chapters I am forced to ask, what are you trying to achieve with your depictions of Celestia, Luna, the Republic, and Equestria?
I ask because as of right now I am stuck between two options. First you are simply trying to write a standard Lunar Republic story with the exception of Celestia no being outright evil, if so then fair enough, I will not be continuing to read this story. The second is that you are in fact trying to be somewhat fair and balanced between the two; if that is the case then I must say I feel you have failed on every level. I must echo the comments of a few others in the comments section, at the basic level you have depicted Equestria so incompetent and racist it is almost to the point of parody, the same can be said for Celestia, your interpretation of her is, I’m sorry to say the worst I have ever seen outside of those who outright make her a evil tyrant. You have made her to be a weak willed incompetent leader unfit to be a head of state or head of anything for that matter, again to me it is almost comical how bad you have elected to portray her.
Your version of Luna and her republic on the other hand is a complete 180 instead of a technologically backward racist kingdom you have a hyper advanced near utopia with no real need to cooperate with Equestria. Now some have attempted to argue that you have shown flaws in this Republic, but I would argue they are either the standard imperfections that exist in any society or state in the world since nothing is truly perfect, or they are things you do not see as flaws or have failed to provide sufficient support to them being flaws. With Luna it is much the same problem, in your authors notes you have claimed you did not want to show Luna as a perfect mary sue and again I’m sorry to say but I feel you have. You have taken a character, who from all indications in cannon and implied in her own words and actions became bitter because living things need to sleep at night and thus sought to commit genocide on every last one of them, and made her the leader of said hyper advanced near utopia immediately undermining the basic cannon premises that the sisters need each other to most effectively rule.
Now you have written in your authors notes that you view Luna as to impulsive and quick to anger, however according to your story her “all in attitude” has lead to unbridled progress, and that her anger is clearly justified. You also placed twilight on the moon with Luna while the rest of the elements are in Equestria, I assume this is because you wanted your favorite pony to be with your preferred princess, again fair although it does add credence to those who feel you are righting a bash fic, you have seemingly shown her life to superior, she is more powerful with a very shallow love interest (sorry there is really nothing anyone can say to defend him to me).
As it stands I feel there is no way you can produce a ending even remotely balanced to both of these factions or even salvage Celestia and Equestria without either a total rewrite(I assume that is out of the question) or actively work to show fundamental flaws in the Republic and Luna’s style of leadership. I felt you had two perfect opportunities to achieve this that you then squandered. First was when you reviled the Lunar justice system, 20 years in a isolation pod, you seemed somewhat surprised that it was viewed harshly and try to defend it in your notes and we were left another show of Lunar superiority as it was a justice system weighted against those in power. What I felt you should have done instead was that ALL crime no matter how milled the infraction would face a similarly brutal punishment, this would have been a good way to show that while crime may be near nonexistent true justice is also absent from lunar society. The second instance was when you first mentioned “programming” it is how you handled this that finally compelled me to post a comment. This was an absolutely perfect opportunity to show the cost of the technological and societal progress of the Republic rather than having free will to choose their own course in life Lunar ponies are forced down a narrow predefined path as soon as they get their cutie mark, instead we got a build up with no payoff except to show that the Republic has a superior more individually focused education system. If you do intend to show the pros and cons I would recommended revisiting these scenes, it would show that while equestrian may have stagnated and remained a racist backward country and Celestia became a spineless incompetent leader without Luna and that the Republic while being more advanced thanks to Luna’s style of “all or nothing right now” leadership also ironically has no personal liberty or justice despite being a republic.
Now I admit that I may have missed something in the last few chapters as I started to skim more and more as my enthusiasm deteriorated and this is not meant as a Insult in anyway and you of course are fee to take or leave any of my criticisms, after all your story has found an audience if the upvote vs downvote count is anything to go by, I just feel you need to take a hard look at how you have elected to depict the two factions if you want to strike a balance. Again if you are going for the disparity then disregard everything I have writing here, either way judging the story on its current merits I am forced to downvote it.
2997348
You are not the first to mention things of this nature. This is my second MLP story, but not my first fanfic. Usually I do simple retelling, so this was a bit different for me. That is no excuse, but I wanted you to know. It's just that this is how I see things if something like this had happened. While Equestria is very rascist as well as tech backwards, the Republic is more advanced but it can be a harsh place due to limited recourses and much stricter punichments. I have also shown that they are more militaristic. I guess I have failed to a degree. I will continue to write this story and I hope I can continue to get feedback from everyone
2997348
Hi, after reading your comment again I began to talk to my gf. We talked about my story for a couple of hours and I want to share with you what we talked about. It is ok if this doesn't change your mind, these are just things to consider.
First, I would like to talk about the two nations. Equstria is a feudal system where ideas and change travels slowly. This means that that longer it takes for a new idea to spread, the easier it is for the nobles to squash it. Why would they do that? It's not because they are evil, but it threatens their position. Remember that they didn't have to work to get to where they are at, they inherited their jobs. Idea's, like voting, or technology that gives ponies more time to think and such would be seen as their enemies. Even Celestia in one chapter seemed to be a bit shy around new things during a flashback. As a chessmaster, she has to take many things into account and would lean away from anything that was too uncertain or might not give her the desired result.
Luna, on the other hoof, is the alicorn of the night which is often used to represent the unknown. Ponies, and humans for that matter, usually shy away from the unknown as well as change. Please imagine what would have happened if all the greatest thinkers of the Renaissance where all kept in one country with unlimited government support as well as being close together. They come up with some cool shit! The more I think about it, the Republic is like Power Rangers Zeo. What I mean is that they are what happens when you combine magic and technology. As for the Senate, I see that as a way of Luna showing how much she cares as well as respects the ponies in her nation.
As for the bat pony racist thing, well its been going on for a long time in this world. Luna started to make changes, but even if she had stayed it would have taken a long time. Please remember that in this story the hatred of the bat ponies has been going on since before the princesses took power.
Last, Luna has some flaws that I hadn't even thought about. Like her anger, which you pointed out can be understandable. Well, while it might be understandable, it should be noted that she makes big decisions while is in full blown anger mode. Like shooting Celestia out of a cannon while it is aimed at Equstria! Second, sometimes she doesn't think some things through. Take the Deep Tunnel Tragedy. It never occurred to her that a meteor might hit the area above the tunnel and cause a cave in. Celestia would have at least taken that into consideration. Speaking of her, her chessmaster style is something that I have bitched about before. Sending other out with very little information to do the work that the government should be doing. But in a way it could be a good thing. Letting the ponies try and solve a problem that she knows that they have it in them to do on their own. While it works everytime in the show, I know in real life it won't always happen like that. Yet Luna seems to handle almost everything and makes all the really big decisions. In order to insure order she has harsh punishments set up and only allows a select few to assist her. Meaning that the rest are like sheep and when they have a problem they run to her hoping that she can fix it like with the movie scene.
24 hours.
That's how long it took me to read all of the chapters up to this point. Well five hours for sleep and eight for work the rest was being engrossed in our Princess Luna's struggle with her sister sun-butt.
Keep up the excellent writing.
Long Live the Republic.
Loved the Spaceballs reference. Cool story so far.
Could it be that the 'What if' spell triggered a deep immersion virtual simulation? Maybe even letting them glimpse a parallel universe to their own? I'd say hopefully, because the other possibility is too depressing.
A minor nitpick is that you sometimes confuse words like 'definitely' and 'defiantly' or 'there' and 'their', and that sometimes you leave words out.
change my order from the special to the soup with a side of extra S.B. references
Never thought I'd see a Spaceballs reference with ponies... I love it.
It is VERY clear now that you LOVE SpaceBalls Darth.
That Spaceballs Reference...
... CHECK PLEASE!
5080888 Who doesn't love SpaceBalls
Oh hi, what's your name?
"BARF!!"
Not in here mister, this is a Mercedes!
...the dancing frog and the space ball refenance...damn never thought I seen them again after so long...
3001155 A problem I have is when Celestia gives out missions that are extra dangerous without enough backup or knowledge.
Celestia: Soon you will know more about this world (Human Universe in EQG) than even I do
Meaning: I actually know at least ONE thing about this world, but I won't even tell you ANYTHING, like the fact that they are bipedal like minotaurs!
Celestia: All you have to do is get a HUGE dragon to relocate. By yourselves. WIthout ANY support from the Royal Guard or anything. You know, because that's totally safe!
I mean it's not like the dragon couldn't easily maim or kill the Mane 6...oh wait he COULD!! ~.~
Sometimes Celestia has some good plans with her being a Chessmaster, like when she had Twilight learn a little Dark Magic. Though as stated above, many things are hardly that good.
EternalLurker verbalised my thoughts perfectly.
Equestria is depicted as consisting mainly of flaws.
NLR is not. They have some, barely, but even those seem more like a side-effect of too much "progress".
It's telling how the only thing Equestria may have to offer is water. Something that's literally just lying around.
Well, there's still chapters to go. Curious where you took it ultimately.
WHERE ARE YOU
GREAT DERPSBY YOU FUCK
YOU COMPLAINING PIECE OF SHIT
9050157
Jesus christ dude, chill the fuck out. People are allowed to point out continued flaws in a story.