"Sir! Can he... Can he do that?" Dasher blurted after he had processed the bomb Braeburn had just dropped.
His question apparently came too soon, as when he looked to his leader for a response, he found a still frozen Blue Blazer crushed beneath an equally stunned Brush.
"Whoa..." Cloud stuttered, "He's so bold"
"Too bold!" Blue Blazer hissed as he regained perception of the world, "This reeks of foul play! This is simply absurd! It has to be a trap of some kind! We're not letting this-"
He was cut off by more sounds from inside, "Can you sneak out and meet me on the hill with Bloomberg at around midnight tonight? Don't let anypony see you. We'll talk then. For now, we need to get back or else every pony might get suspicious."
Upon hearing that their eavesdropping was about to be discovered, the hall’s mare and stallion occupants bolted to avoid being compromised.
"That was fantastic Mrs. Apple! Thank you for dinner!" Twilight cooed after finishing her (third) slice of genuine Apple pie.
"Warms my heart to know there's such a dear of a princess up there in Canterlot! I'm just honored ya'll would grace us with your presence." the elder mare replied sincerely.
"Well I don't know about "graced" but thank you for having us. Sadly though, it's about time we head back to our hotel. Thank you again for the meal!" A chipper Twilight replied, looking out to the high-risen moon out the window.
"Don't be a stranger now! We'd love to have ya' again!"
"I'm sure we'd all love to come back, right?" she looked to the stallions and mares who followed her, attempting to get one kind word out of them about the food, none of them spoke up, just as they hadn't about anything the whole meal.
"...I'm sure they would!" Twilight said with an awkward chuckle, "Anyway, have a nice night!" Twilight said waving as she embarked for the hotel.
The troupe wandered off; the Apple family seeing them off from their porch. Once they were out of the clearing and comfortably behind the tree line, the group came to an abrupt halt behind their mistress.
"What in the name of Tartarus has come over all of you! All of you were were just awful in there!"
"Princess, we can't stand by and watch you do this!" Cloud all but shouted.
"What do you mean?" Twilight said, genuinely taken aback.
"We mean we heard your conversation with Braeburn in the bathroom! We heard everything, and we have to say, you're making a mistake!"
"How so?" Twilight asked, with concern tinging her voice.
"I don't know how to tell you this..."
"What! Tell me! Is something wrong?"
"Well..." she took a deep breath before closing her eyes and resigning to the fact it had to be said, “It’s obvious that he only asked you to marry him because you're a princess!"
The princess in question just stared at her for a minute, as if waiting for her to get to the punch line of her joke. When no punch line came, she merely snorted out a laugh, "Hah! Well of course! He wouldn't have asked me if I wasn't! It's not like anypony in their right mind would ever have asked me to marry them before I was made a princess."
That statement immediately sobered the previously nervous group.
When no response came, Twilight turned away and began walking again.
"Princess..." Breeze eagerly called after her, but either the charge didn't notice or didn't care, because she continued onward unheedingly.
When the pack arrived at the hotel, the mares went straight for their room as the stallions and the princess made their way to their respective floors.
No sooner did the door closed behind the mares then did Cloud release what she had been stewing over the whole way back, "So that's it! She doesn't think of herself as marryable other than because of her rank! She has no self-esteem! That's the- Is she really that- Is she really only going through with this because she's so desperate!?!" Cloud yelled, not even trying to hide how upset this was making her, "Why!?! She's an international hero! Doesn't she realize every pony loves her!"
"I mean, I should know! I was one of the ponies drafted to help sort through her fan-mail after the Crystal Empire got wind of how she saved the Empress during her wedding day! We had to go through thousands of letters!"
"Wait, she gets fanmail?" Bristle asked innocently, trying boldly to quietly bring Cloud back to them.
"Psssh!" Cloud scoffed, "Too much of it! She's practically a children's book hero outside Equestria. Actually, she is in the Crystal Empire. Nightmare Moon, Discord, the Changelings, Sombra; there's a whole ongoing book series published about her."
"Why have I never heard of any of this?" Brush asked, obviously to this point unaware that her charge was already so renowned outside Equestria.
"It's because princess Celestia wanted her student to have a 'normal life'." Cloud laughed derisively, "Carefully censoring anything that would bring Twilight's accomplishments to light. Here in Equestria you won't hear about anything she's done, but outside she's practically a legend."
"So that's why she must feel so under loved..." Breeze concluded solemnly, "She did so much, and yet nopony knows..."
"Well, that may have something to do with it, but honestly, it's probably more the fact she didn't have a proper school experience, instead having one-on-one lessons with the princess that never exposed her to any situations where she could make serious friends, her extreme introversion, which she has no coping skills for, and the fact that, growing up, she was so close to Celestia that everyone was afraid to get too close."
The other mares just stared at their unusually insighted companion. "What?" Bristle asked "I used to get an ear full from old Madam Teapot about how the princess's student was being raised... She was less than approving of the princess’s filly rearing. ...Only in private of course."
"Ok... Well... This has all been very enlightening, but the problem at hoof is more immediately important. It's apparent that the princess has some major self-esteem issues we need to address ...and fast." none made to contest as Brush continued, "...and I think I know just how to do it..."
2998159 What do you mean?
Clearly Twilight lacks a few comprehension cells if she didn't understand the implications of what her entourage was accusing her of.
This is hilarious!
2998179
Nah. she's just too smart for her own good. You marry someone, and they become your partner, right? Well, (spoiler in tiny text) You can also "marry" by being the one to join the two lucky people. twilight probably thinks brae wants her to perform the ceremony.
At this point I think I'll say 'called it' lol
2998269 ... but why did it shock you?
2998179
Either that, or her entourage lacks a few comprehension cells to miss the scathing sarcasm that was just directed their way.
Based on her entourage's screwy behavior so far, I'm going to go with door #2.
Oh, by the way, 2998170 ?
Those should be spelled "heard", not "herd."
2998179
She only misunderstands because they told her that they overheard "everything", which would have included Braeburn's upcoming marriage plans, but they actually missed that part. Thus she is under the impression that they are on the same page as she is, when they've unintentionally lied to her.
"Here in Equestria you won't hear about anything she's done, but outside she's practically a legend."
Ah, but do they know the loveable pony just inside that legend like they do IN Equestria?
2998170
I imagine it's the whole thing about Princess Celestia isolating Twilight
Looks like the maids are about to do something stupid to get theirs. XD
And the poor guards really need some bone thrown at them to shine. Like i dunno, 20.000 paparazzis chargign Princess Twilight to make a photo in her bikini and then the guards are all "5 vs 20.000" and go all "300" on them in slowmo and bam bish pang womp and blood and guts everywhere and wait, i think that might be too extreme even to paparazzis.
It's like watching a train derail into another train, but in slow motion!
Get me some popcorn and an extra large fizzy cola, and hurry! The show's about to start!
Twilight Sparkle and the Mare in the Moon
Twilight Sparkle and the Spirit of Chaos
Twilight Sparkle and the Changeling Menace
Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Empire
Twilight Sparkle and the Half-Blood Princess
I couldn't resist
/badjoke
---
Glad to see this fic is getting a little serious instead of just a comedy of errors on the part of Twilight;s entourage
Those guards take their jobs way too seriously.
So the hoof maidens plan was to get Twilight and Braeburn together, and it worked, and now they are upset that it worked?
i wonder if celestia's and luna's guards did similar things in the beginning
i have to say; you're absolutely wonderful at coming up with sentences and discussions that are easily misinterpreted!
2998777
There is also the possibility that she's just trolling in a completely deniable way. Just like her mentor taught her!
3000170
I dunno, that series really went downhill with Twilight Sparkle and the Half-Blood Princess, and Twilight Sparkle and the Dorkly Harmonies was just awful.
3015998
Personally, I think the downhill spiral started after the fifth book, wherein the author learned the magic of the Caps Lock key (or maybe left it on accidentally for a few chapters?) and made Twilight all angsty ("Wah! Wah! It's All about me! Everypony is ignoring me! Wah!"). I pretty much quit reading after Half-Blood Princess which is why Twilight Sparkle and the Dorkly Harmonies wasn't on my list - I didn't know it existed.