Oh, Star Swirl, everypony knows that the utmost care must be taken with teleportation spells. One wrong syllable, and you'll be off to a crossover fic faster than you can say "interdimensional roller coaster". Just ask Twilight!

P.S.: Tracked! Too short to really rate yet, but I definitely want to see where it's going.

*happens to see title of story in the Latest Updates bar; investigates because there might be Rincewind*

*reads the description; realizes that there WILL be Rincewind*

*adds to tracking list because this is quite promising so far*

Off to a good start, I must say. Looking forward to more pony/Discworld excitement!

*Discworld fansqueal*

Also, fic starring historical pony figure. Yesss.

>>160081160081

I realize the teleportation-spell-gone-awry thing has been done to death, but hey, at least it isn't another Twilight-Sparkle-Messed-Up-A-Spell fic!

>>160318160318

There's something to be said for someone with a healthy respect for the true nature of adventure.  Adventures are terrible, awful things to go through, and Rincewind knows it.

>>160443160443

Thank you!  It's a horrible temptation to just throw references in all willy-nilly, so I'm having to clamp down on that a bit as I work through the first full chapter.

>>160661160661

Needed my Discworld Ponies fix, and who knows if Binkie Pie is going to update any time soon...    The real challenge isn't characterization or plot, so far.  It's getting something out that fits Pratchett's style.

Trying... to fight... growing smile...

Losing... Love for Discworld too strong...

A chapter! Ok, now I can rate it. You've nailed it. Five stars and a pony. (The pony is an extra bonus for mixing this timeline with Binkie Pie's.) And now I know not to read the next chapter anywhere that a sudden outburst of laughter would be embarrassing. Live and learn.

THIS IS GONNA BE SO EPIC. Fun characters and funny plot aside, you've managed to write in a Prachett-y  style which REALLY fills that gaping hole in my heart that keeps demanding more Pratchett stories to read. I am pleased.

Also, Pinkie Pie. Bueno.

Spot-on with the Prachett style, well-balanced distribution of footnotes, and a shout-out/continuity nod to Binky Pie?

You have just made the day awesome.

>>161500161500

Yeah, I've been rereading "Rincewind the Wizzard" (The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, and Eric) a lot lately, which sort of prompted this.

>>161615161615

Whee!  Five stars and a pony!  And the pony is Twilight Sparkle!  YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

>>161641161641

Epic?  I sincerely hope so.  I've got ideas.  Horrible, nasty ideas.  Thanks!  The style is challenging - I'm trying to emulate his style without directly quoting, and that is really tough.

>>162449162449

Footnote placement is something of a challenge.  I love Binky Pie, but the footnotes are all at the end of the chapter, which means a lot of scrolling.  Hopefully, I'll be able to keep it up.

I think creative likenings of ridiculous happenings/thoughts to other ridiculous realities of the Discworld are a real stable- I mean, staple of his writing. You've got the creative usage of "*"s down. The Binky Pie fic is also an excellent reference for how to emulate Pratchetty writing. 8D Anyways, thanks for being awesome, and please continue!

>>162776162776

I'm writing as fast as I can, dammit!

And about the footnotes, it's an unfortunate limitation of FiMFiction.  I type everything up in GoogleDocs first, and there the footnotes go on the appropriate page, but here I have to put them at the end of the document instead.  I see you've put them in the middle of the document, which works well enough.

Also loving the time-twisting there.  Poor Death was probably glad of the break when he got stuck in Equestria.

>>167163167163

On the plus side, your updates are longer than mine, too.  

*cracks knuckles*

Let's do dis!

That's it. The Luggage is definitely a brony. Must act nice around ponies.

Yay for the update! This is getting better and better. 8D

The sisters with the caravan - were those Celestia and Luna?

And while the Luggage being nice is unnerving, I can think of something even scarier: Greebo being nice to someone other than Nanny Ogg.

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

>>169665169665

There's actually more going on there than that.  Not sure how soon I'm going to make the full reveal, but it has to do with the nature of magic on the Disc as opposed to Equestrian magic.

>>171060171060

Don't think I've read any of the books with Greebo in 'em.  I'm sticking to characters I'm familiar with, and with a couple of exceptions (Soul Music, Hogfather, and Equal Rites to name a few, and of those, I only own Equal Rites) I've pretty much just read Rincewind books.

As far as the other thing you've mentioned...

Mmmmmaybe.  

Oh no, he did a Twilight!

I've been debating whether or not Horsery is a terrible name for this phenomenon for a chapter or two, and eventually decided that it's fitting enough.  So, yeah.

>>196200196200

It's entirely appropriate, in a terrible way.

>>196200196200

It's an absolutely, unconscionably awful name for it. It's like the perfect cross between the Discworld's off-the-wall humor and Equestria's terrible horse puns. I'd have expected nothing less from Rincewind, either. I love it. So we should be on the lookout for a... Horserer.

Oh, how much I love this story. 'Tis a thing of beauty, verily.

fantastic

Horsery.  Yeah, that seems like something a Disc-dweller would come up with.

I wish these chapters were longer so more stuff could happen when I read.

Let's see... given that Star Swirl came from the time just after Equestria's founding, and given how the Lady decided to manifest herself...

I suspect that the origin of Celestia will be revealed through this story.

I'm absolutely loving this so far. Can't wait to see where it'll be going

Short chapter this time around, because I couldn't think of a follow-up for the scene with the Klatchians, but didn't want to leave the story without an update while I tried to figure it out.

The story has the highest ratio of laughs to words I've yet encountered.

"That is not my tail."

It was his beard, right? Right?

>>307116307116

It was his beard, right? Right?

I find it funnier to leave the question totally unanswered.

Well, you magnificent bastard, this is yet another awesome update. I love this stuff; keep up the good work

... as though an overturned bowl had protected it from the snowfall...

"Well, if you'll recall, before we bedded down for the night, I cast an amniomorphic shield, yes?"

wat u did thar, i sees it.

>>309166309166

I'm glad someone did.  What with Starswirl being "father of the amniomorphic spell" there weren't many places I could take it, and most of them were kind of ew.

On the other hoof, I figure that what makes amniomorphic spells special is that they should be inherently less stable than a fully spherical spell, and his innovation was making the spell stable despite being a hemisphere.

Also, don't you have something to do?  Don't you have something to write?  A Miss Pie... a miss Pinkie Pie?

>>309345309345

I've been busy!  University is not kind to me.  Or my free time.  

>>309579309579

Aw, I understand.  Frankly, I wanted this update to be about three times as long as it was, but I feared work doing the same thing to me, as it's been prone to do lately.

... Okay, either I am less versed in the quality of Discworld fanfiction than I thought... or you are Terry Pratchett, resorting to this because you couldn't find a way to publish Ponies without incurring the wrath of Hasbro (I'll admit, that doesn't really sound as threatening as it should).

This, ser, is godly. And I'm not talking 'god of where two ant trails cross', either - no, I mean, full fledged, Offler-class. Possibly on par with Om. Heck, I'd even go so far as to say you're catching up with the Lady. Quite frankly, the only reason I would be surprised to see this published is because that meanbs you got permission from _both_ Hasbro and Pratchett to use their stuff to make money (nevertheless, that's still a lot of surprise).

I promised longer, but felt this was a good place to break apart the chapter, as the next bit is Rincewind coming out of the big top, and a chapter break is a good place to stick a short time skip.  Another chapter is on the way, preferably later tonight.  I'm transcribing it now.

I will have to remember the snug as a measure of adorability.

And given what's described in the menagerie... it will be interesting to see what color mane she has.

>>405240405240

I will have to remember the snug as a measure of adorability.

Yeah, I'm rather proud of that one.  It fits in well with the thaum as a unit of magic.  Also, Pratchett's use of nuclear physics to explain magic has given me a plot hook I'll be needing in a few chapters: sub-Harmonic Particle Theory.  

And given what's described in the menagerie... it will be interesting to see what color mane she has.

Bear in mind, the menagerie is not the same as the main show...  

>>405319405319

Being totally blind-sided surprised still counts - even if it's nopony the rest of us know, we'll still want the description.

Okay, so the alicorn on display wasn't the one I was thinking of, but I had the right idea.

And... did Offler just summon who I think he just summoned?    Well, that would be rather par for the course for Rincewind...

>>405931405931

Woona's in the petting zoo.  I thought it fitting.  

As far as the other question, I figure it would be spoilery to answer except to say "look very carefully at Wizard Isrim al Qurad, and what he's currently experiencing."

...

Also his name.

>>405954405954

*looks at the name, adjusts the parsing filter until it scans correctly, and nods in acknowledgement*

Well, he's currently out of his body... and will undoubtedly soon be out of his mind.

Correct me if I'm reading this wrong, but wouldn't 150 millisnug = 0.15 snug?

Doesn't seems like it'd have much effect at all.

>>406347406347

No, you're reading that right.  Bear in mind that the sheer adorability of a full snug is something best handled by experienced professionals...  I mean, really, look at her.  

Woah. How did you do the Strikethrough text? It doesn't seem to work no matter what I try, and I know someone who desperately needs it to port the formatting from Google Docs over to fimfic :|

[edit]

After some experimenting, it looks like "strike" does it. Good to know :)

Was that an El Goonish Shive reference of some sort?

>>407575407575

Yes.  Yes it was.

I have been wanting very much to get this chapter out to you guys.  This has a lot of scenes I've been planning since about Chapter 3...  before then, the Klatchians were going to be a one-time encounter.  Originally, Rincewind et al were going to join the caravan as performers and blah blah blah, but I like this version better.

"Ponies of all colours of the spectrum, with the possible exception of octarine."

I dunno; given that only wizards can see octarine, I suspect those of us without the octagons to see said color might have it mentally translated into something else.  Like, say... pink.

Loved the metacommentary about the [grimdark] tag, and Rincewind aggro just might be the scariest thing in Discworld that I've heard of... and I've read most of the books.

>>436185436185

Well, if you've read The Light Fantastic, you've seen Rincewind aggro like that before, when he fought against Trymon atop the Tower of Art:

Rincewind fought as he always fought, without skill or fairness or tactics, but with a great deal of whirlwind effort. The strategy was to prevent an opponent getting enough time to realise that in fact Rincewind wasn't a very good or strong fighter, and it often worked.

>>436236436236

It's been a few years; no wonder I didn't recognize it immediately.

>>436236436236

that quote... I use that everytime people ask for my fighting strategy anywhere.

>>436539436539

My favorite quote about fighting comes from the next book:

Conina: My father always said that it was pointless to undertake a direct attack against an enemy extensively armed with efficient projectile weapons.

Rincewind:

Conina: Well, what he actually said was never enter an arse-kicking contest with a porcupine.

Woah. I knew the Luggage could fix and clean clothes and stuff stored inside itself, but people? Healed or not, I expect poor Star Swirl to come out of that experience rather traumatized

(this place needs a smiley of the Traumatized Dashie from Sonic Rainboom)

On a related note, that Horsery sure seems to have done a number on Rincewind... he's actually fighting to save someone who is not Rincewind. Woah.

Parchment_Scroll, this story is a thing of beauty. Thank you so much for writing it

A couple of notes (basically, this post is the DVD Commentary Track):

1) This chapter went through several rewrites.  Originally, it was going to be Pinkie Pie acting as Death, but I realized that Binky Pie has a longer timeline to it than this story, and this would work better if it all took place around Chapter 2 of Binky Pie, when Pinkie was still a temp.

2) The conversation between Death and Rincewind was another sticking point, as usually their conversations consisted of Death convincing Rincewind that dying wouldn't be quite so bad as he feared.  That became his angle here: officially, the only thing Death can do is reap.  Anything else is up to mortals.

After his spiel about Celestia patching Star Swirl's soul (which was the entire purpose of his being in this chapter, apart from his presence egging the party into action at all), originally Pinkie Pie was going to start bawling fountain-style.  I cut that because it detracted from the real action: Conina figuring it the buck out.

Maybe she could take Transretrocausality 101...?

>>438928438928

On a related note, that Horsery sure seems to have done a number on Rincewind... he's actually fighting to save someone who is not Rincewind. Woah.

Wait'll you see what he says in the next chapter.

I quite enjoyed this chapter. When you first introduced the alicorns I almost gave up on this story. It is extremely weird. Especially when you consider that in this chapter, Pinkie Pie is from Modern Equestria, Star Swirl is from Thousands of years in the past Equestria and the alicorns are from Pre-Equestria. All three of them are currently conversing in a cave. I really like how you write Rincewind. I think that that is the real draw for this story: you write a fantastic Rincewind. Your death wasn't as entertaining as Miyajima's, but I understand the situation was supposed to be grim. Anyway, good chapter.

>>484868484868

Just to clarify this, real quick:

In this timeline, Pinkie Pie is from modern Equestria.  Star Swirl is from shortly before the first Hearth's Warming, before there was an Equestria.  The Princesses are essentially from the same time.  Introducing them is my way of answering the question "where the buck were Celestia and Luna while the unicorns were handling day and night?"

As far as the rest of your comment, I'm glad you like the way I write Rincewind.  As he occasionally strives to be more than just "that ratty-faced coward failed wizard", which he will do in this story, it's important to me that even if his actions seem out of character, they must flow naturally from his in-character thoughts and motivations.

As Nyerguds noted last chapter, we've seen Rincewind go all-out fighting for someone else.  While Horsery is part of the reason, mostly it's because I've always viewed Rincewind as sort of an unwilling hero, and that view is critical to how I'll be writing upcoming chapters.

...

I was going to comment on your misspelling of Miyajima's name, but you fixed it while I was at the store, I see. Drat.

Also, bear in mind that Death in Rincewind-centric stories tends to be more irritated and irritable than in his own books.  Mainly because he's dealing with Rincewind, who, as he views it, simply does not keep appointments.

>>485137485137 Oh, that makes more sense. I thought you were going with Star Swirl going to another world and liberating Celestia and Luna, and then the three of them returning to their world to create an Equestria where Star Swirl would then grow up and go and liberate Celestia and Luna. That makes more sense than the odd vicious cycle I misunderstood it as. Also Pinkie Pie seemed a little superfluous in this chapter now that I think about it. She could have had a rather interesting conversation with Celestia and Luna, considering she knows their future selves.

I posted the comment then double-checked the name.

"in special wizard robes whose sleeves wrapped around the torsos and tied up in back, conducting seminars to empty rooms with cushions on the walls."

Haha, nice one :D

Found a few tiny errors - you might want to fix those ;)

Rinceiwnd - Rincewind

stod - stood

heirarchy - hierarchy

>>487671487671

On it, thanks!  Thought I was more careful than that.

Whoa! Plot Twist!

The effects of the buzzing on Isrim al Qurad, and what it ultimately led to... Wow, just wow.

Oh, man. Seriously? A Discworld/Pony crossover?

This has turned into a "Must Read" for me. Favoriting in order to find it easier later on.

>>827645827645

If you like even the idea of this, you should read Binky Pie by Miyajima. It can be found in my recommended fics on my user page.  (I reference it a couple of times in this story, but it's not a required read except inasmuch as it's awesome.)   

You know A'Tuin is a she right? She lays eggs.

>>196200196200

Horsery is hilarious, I'm glad you decided to use it.

>>949802949802

A'tuin's gender is actually still unknown.  We've seen the eggs hatch, but not being laid.

...unless there's a scene in a later book I'm unaware of.

>>950079950079

Thank you!

Wait a minute... a crossover with not only my favourite book series, but my favourite character from my favourite book series, and my favourite television show EVER?

:YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES

Dude, Terry Pratchett himself could have written this.

So Conina did get her dream? Good for her.

It'll be god to see what happens next.

Offler summoned Discord.

This is going to be fun.

>>10330441033044

Rincewind will always hold a special place in my heart.  He is the greatest unwilling hero ever.

>>10331261033126

THANK YOU!

>>10333401033340

Conina was a fun character, and I couldn't resist giving her not only her own salon, but the double-handed cuticle knife she mentioned all of once in a slip of the tongue.  Or, you know, using her and Nigel as a couple of the requisite friends in this story.  (Twoflower would have been a better choice, but dragging him away from his official duties on the Counterweight Continent would have been way too much of a stretch.)

>>10337151033715

Offler and Errata* working in tandem, actually.

*Errata is the Disc's version of Eris, so it felt appropriate.  Also, it felt fitting to put this in a footnote.

Enjoying it so far.  One thing, though:

> Gods, not universally known for their thick clothing, felt the chill despite the heat generated by the thick magical fields they radiated.

Repetition of the word 'thick'.  Perhaps use 'intense' instead?

Is it sad that when I read that Offler summoned something "in an S shape", my first thought that it was a man...

I mean, a dragon man...

I mean, just a dragon...

Because it was TROGDOOOOOOOR!

Then I realized that it was Discord.  Ho hum.

> Those who might have been interested in finding them, however, were about to be otherwise occupied

You're missing a period at the end of this sentence.

> Anyone with even the most basic understanding of Narrative Causalit -- which was most everyone who'd spent more than a few weeks alive on the Disc -- could see where this situation was heading.

You're missing a 'y' at the end of 'Narrative Causalit'.

> To the survival minded, the sight of a fleeing Rincewind is all the cue one needs.

Should probably have a dash: "To the survival-minded,"

"Rincewind turned, finding himself, as he expected, face-to-skull with the Grim Reaper.  It wasn't the first time, by any stretch of the imagination.  It probably wouldn't be the last.  But, for the first time, when faced with the Reaper, Rincewind didn't know what to do.  His first instinct, which was to run, would not help.  His second instinct, which was also to run, would serve about as well as his first.  Redundant backups figured heavily in Rincewind's finely honed sense of self-preservation, so his next five instincts were just as useless, which left him at loose ends."

Wow.  That was so Pratchett I just got chills.  I'm impressed.

>>11050501105050

Not sure "intense" works, given the style of Pratchett's description of the gods.  I'll think about alternatives.

>>11052631105263

I said CONSUMMATE Vs! Consummate!

Yeah, I've been thinking about how to squeeze in Trogdor jokes, actually.  Have yet to come up with any that work.

>>11052771105277  >>11053181105318 >>11053331105333

Thanks for pointing these out.  If/when I get some time off, I'll happily remedy them.

>>11053881105388

Thank you!

Yay, new chapter! It's been way too long. And now we see where a certain chaos elemental came from... can't wait to see what'll happen next.

Hot Damn. First Binkie Pie and now this one? Awesome :D

>>13691811369181

Yeah, my previous laptop was stolen.  As I average two nights off a month and work at least 14 hours a night most nights, without a laptop, I have no time for writing.

Hopefully you suspected Discord's origins back in Chapter 6?  That was the intent of that whole "Buzz, Isrim" section.

>>13694181369418

Whoa, ninja'd.  Yeah, I've been working on this as much as possible, given my limitations, but Binky Pie updating pushed me into overdrive.  I gotta keep up, ya know.

>>13694191369419

Yes, I noticed that part, I was just noting our suspicions had been confirmed.

>>11052771105277 >>11053181105318 >>11053331105333

Finally got around to fixing these!  Man, that was sloppy of me.  

I finally had a chance to read this one. It's very good, very well written. I think you have the Discworld style down while still adding your own distinct flavor. Rincewind is perfectly in character, and Starswirl's personality is fun and believable. This is one of those stories that has nowhere near the attention it deserves.

You've done a very fine job, here.

I love the complex interplay you've got going here between the forces of the two different worlds. At the core of the conflict we've got basically a big showdown between harmony (the princesses, Star Swirl, and Discworld-side harmony sympathizers like Rincewind) and disharmony (the Discworld's natural state, now with an avatar-in-the-flesh) But then all twisted up in it are Equestria's rainbow magic (which I do believe Rincewind just managed to wield, albeit clumsily), the Discworld's octarine magic, the windigoes (who, bred in a mostly harmonious world, are growing frighteningly powerful here), the immortal princesses, and the aforementioned avatar of disharmony, Discord. Oh, and the gods, but I think they're less twisted up in it and more the cause of it, the gods being what they are.

And I doubt I'm the only one getting my hopes up that there's some significance to the fact that there are now six characters plus the princesses traveling together. I should reread the previous chapters to refresh my memory and scour the current one for more hints before I start making wild allegations, but if I were to pick out element bearers, I would say... hmm. The easiest one for me is the Luggage; it could easily claim Loyalty. Conina gets Generosity in a big way for her sacrifice last chapter. Rincewind or Star Swirl could do Magic, but most likely Rincewind, since you made it very clear that he's the driving force of friendship, which is central to that element's nature. The Librarian could be Honesty, though I'm just basing that on his straightforward (okay, downright blunt) nature and the line you dropped offhandedly in this chapter about him generally being honest. I might be able to categorize Nijel better if his canon character were fresher in my mind, but I'll just give him Laughter because he's comically inept. That would leave Kindness for Star Swirl, which isn't a bad fit. Of course, like all good multi-faceted characters, their traits do overlap, so I could be way off.

Since this post has apparently gotten long enough to warrant its own conclusion, I'll end by saying again how much I'm enjoying the story. It's fun, and funny, but it's also got some deeper, more thought-provoking elements that make it much more than just a series of cheap laughs. Just like both its source materials.

>>13746421374642

Thank you very much!  I'm glad you're enjoying it.  Fortunately, Pratchett has a very distinctive style, so for the most part I can tell when I'm keeping in his voice.  For the most part.  Every once in a while, I have to really think about whether he would handle something one way or another.  At those times, I take my best stab at it and hope that even if I'm wrong, it doesn't break the narrative flow.

>>13754011375401

I'm saying nothing.  

...Nothing that hasn't already been said at any rate:

"He was very resistant to the idea of putting bells on, or one of those little puffball things, so it's perhaps not as silly as I'd like."

"You know," he told her, "he is entirely too nice to be a proper barbarian hero."

There is something I wanted to point out, here, since I'm not entirely sure the narrative makes it clear.

The cave took on a surreal atmosphere at that moment.  All of the colours became brighter, less subdued.

Basically, the effect I was going for here was that the lack of octarine in the otherwise natural light made everything take on a cel-shaded appearance.  Basically, when ponies (and pony magic) are involved, everything gets just a little bit more cartoony.  Of course, when certain ponies are involved, that gets ramped up to 11.

I wanted to point that out because I'd honestly like some feedback on how that theme has been handled overall so far (the eyes-in-the-dark scene way back in Chapter, what, two? is the other big example) because part of the finale kind of hinges on this side-effect of Harmony being introduced to the Disc.  For entirely irrelevant examples of side-effects of a new type of magic being introduced to the Disc, check out either Moving Pictures or Soul Music.

>>13776251377625

Ah!  See, I knew I should have gone back over it. The answers were there!

ALL HAIL TO TERRY PRATCHETT!!!

nearly perfect  copy of the original style love it

>>13959261395926

Hail, Caesar!

>>13961281396128

Wow, thanks!  

Wow, you certainly didn't disappoint with this new chapter!

I'm starting to think you might actually be Terry Pratchett's long-lost twin or something.

>>13985871398587

He's roughly twice my age. :P I am not, in fact, related to Mr. Pratchett at all.

Dis 'ere is ah masterpiece.

Da site needs moar Pratchett loik fiks loik dis one.

>>15055471505547

Thank you soooo much!   I aim to please, or at least to not wound!  New chapter should be along in a couple of days!

>>15074081507408

Woundin, pleasin, same fing fer an ork.

But iffen Ah ken be 'onest fer a sec, Ah'd loik tah say dat dis 'ere is one of moy favorite fanfics (not juss tah pony ones eithar) of all tiem.

Ah ahm appahled dat dis ain' got moar views/commentz/favs an wot not.

>>15074831507483

I've been hesitant to submit it to Equestria Daily until it's complete, so it doesn't get a boatload of publicity.  To date, the only story I've submitted was rejected based on something I can't change (it ties directly in to the premise), so I'm leery of their submission process in general.