A haiku about alicorn Twilight mourning her friends and Princess Luna confessing her love for the purple mare.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 26th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 22nd, 2019
Aegis Shield
Also known as "TtheWriter" on youtube, if you're into Dungeons and Dragons stuff. :3
Aegis Shield
Joined 26th Feb, 2012 ·
Offline
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dang
Mad props, dude. This is pretty cool. I don't know how you wrote such a long one.
THIS must of took a while to make.
I can barely write 3 lines of a haiku, and then you come out with this
It looks good, but the description isn't the format of a haiku
2086613 I agree. I didn't get first post
but... why?
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120812041418/thefanfictionwikiofgtfandphazon/images/6/69/Clapping_Magic_.gif
dem immortality feels...
Amazing how you used the haikus to create the story! Now that's art (In literature form).
I want to see more creativity just like this!
Aegis.
Like.
Whoa.
Edit: I've had a bad day. This nearly made me teary. Then they started to make out, and it was gone.
Props to you, Aegis. I don't think I could even manage a Haiku anymore.
Well...Uh...*Hides Japanese homework from years ago*
Very nice!
I'm not much of a Haiku guy, but the rule is 5, 7, 5 syllables right?
That last sentence had six syllables.(Everything else was perfect.
)
Love It
One problem:
That's six syllables if read as: "Hush now, qui-et now, love."
Taking out the last word would keep it as meaningful and keep the line's pentameter.
Same with the description.
Seven syllables:
"Im-mort-al Twi-light mourns, sad."
Don't know how to fix.
that was freaking adorable, and funny at some parts. enjoyed the read
Quite possibly the only Twiluna I've enjoyed as of yet.
Would Twilight get her own guards, or share Luna/Celestia's?
Commence read.
Pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for this.
2086692 Whoops, must be my southern accent. "Quiet" has one syllable where I'm from. I'll fix it. XD
2086680
2086692
How did you notice that? What manner of sorcery is this!
2086740
Didn't see the next?
You have seven syllables
In the first line, sir.
2086680
Perhaps, in this case
A contraction is needed.
"We'll live forever".
2086620 fix'd.
2086680 fix'd.
2086692 fix'd.
Hah, well that's a fun exercise
2086748 Heh! I guess I could have counted some more. At least people participating in this can see it as practice since there are so many in one page.
*sees One shot by Aegis Shield and opens it*
img830.imageshack.us/img830/2074/heartattack.jpg
2086767 1st line has six syllables now
2086758 I was thinking the same thing. Guess I should have pointed it out though.
2086767
You still have six sounds.
Synonyms for "im-mor-tal"
I cannot think of.
Still quite well written
And still a much larger feat
Than I would attempt.
You did this to my feels
24.media.tumblr.com/d2368bf21880118585b05dcf19569782/tumblr_mhad72iKIU1rxlz5po1_500.gif
2086787>>2086795
FUCK IIIIIIIT!
*changes it entirely*
2086806
Apologies, sir.
I meant no disrespect, just...
Tried to help. Sorry.
2086806 What about deathless instead of immortal?
Hm.
Marginally impressive. Then again, I don't really care for haikus. Or shipping. And I'm not really a fan of death-fics, either.
So, honestly, you didn't stand much of a chance. Still, I can see how this would probably have been rather difficult to achieve, and I am quite willing to admit talent when I see it
2086901
Why don't you read it?
Give it a chance before you
Judge by the genre.
2086740
How do you pronounce "quiet" as a single syllable? Where I'm from, it's pronounced "qui-et", with a very sharp divide between the two syllables, so I'm having a bit of trouble figuring it out.
Also, have you submitted this to EQD? I'd really like to see their response. The way I see it, they'd either fail it on sight or theme their website around it.
2086913
Perhaps he says it
Similar in sound to "quite"
It's just a theory.
2086913>>2086920 "Quahht"
.....
warshin' machine!
oh god...
2086911
That _was_ after I'd read it.
I've simply never been a fan of haikus (or poetry in general).
Romantic sub-plots are acceptable only so long as they are well developed, and don't detract from the main story (Thereby indicating that they cannot _be_ the main story) - otherwise, I'm just not interested.
And unless there is a foe to seek vengeance upon, I am not all too interested in hearing about the deaths of characters I like.
So, taking all these things into account - he really didn't stand all that much of a chance of winning me over. Perhaps if it had been put to music, and been able to be sung as some sort of chant...
Of course, I'd be more than impressed simply by the technical aptitude of a writer who pulled _that_ off whilst in this format.
THIS WAS WONDERFUL! It was bittersweet in all the right ways. This is gaining a fav and like from me.
And "~Random Guard"..... Pffft...... LOLZ!
Lovely.
*Jaw drops*
I...I barely got to Twilight's room when I...
How is a mere mortal to compete with this!?
I'm just gonna leave my like and be on my marry way... Don't want no spoiler till after S3... Hope you of all ponies could understand...
Wow, you are VARY good at writing Haiku's. I'm jelly. But my feeling's aside GREAT story!
What the hell! I heard some of the Haiku's in his voice.
media.giantbomb.com/uploads/13/131020/2141813-borderlands_2_zer0.jpg
My brain! over all good stuff heels and stuff.
very nice Faved and Liked
(Like most of your works
)
So guys, I noticed when we were talking earlier we've been speaking in haiku. Isn't that funny? Um, Luna, Twilight? What are you doing?
*several seconds pass*
You locked the door when I came in, I can't leave. Hello? Wh-oh, oh dear. Uh, I think I should be going!
*minutes pass*
La la la la la! I don't hear anything! Blah blah blah!
– Celestia
... I thought I was going to read the first ever clop scene written in Haiku there for a moment. And I would have been completely okay with that.