Don't Worry, I'll Fix It!
It's no secret, Twilight likes her computer time.
She was introduced to the computer and the internet a long time ago, and she just can't get enough of it. She's rather clueless on the computer's innards, but that's what Micro Center is for, right? The mare had to only go once, and that was because Pinkie "accidentally" poured chocolate syrup into the interior by putting it in the disc tray. She was never forgiven for her sin.
Today was like any other day for Twilight and her old Windows 1996, and it was running the usual speed, otherwise known as the speed of a sloth with a mental defect. It wasn't like anything was abnormal about it to Twilight, for she just dealt with it as she waited for the 102nd Tumblr page to load, which was refusing to load a single pixel of an image.
"Augh, come on already!" Twilight moaned as she began to lose her patience. After three minutes, she had finally given up on it. When she clicked the X on Internet Explorer, though, nothing happened. This event has occurred a few times before, but it was never this bad. She clicked and clicked, but nothing was solved. This began to worry her.
"C'mon, you stupid thing! X out!" she shouted as her fat, chunky computer excerpted a poot and shut off instantly. The mare then slammed her face upon the desk, moaned loudly, and kicked the power button below her. The old coot made several different kinds of noises, all of which were frustrating to listen to. Twilight kept her head buried in her desk as she waited several minutes for her computer to make every sound in the world and finally come up with a log in screen, but it never came.
After five minutes of her life wasted, Twilight finally looked up, her faced worried that her screen was still black. She then decided it would be a swell idea to lurk around the library to see if she could find any book about computers. She found many books such as How To Fix a Mac, I Looked Up Sonic Fanfiction and Then My Computer Exploded, and How To Fix a Mac 2: The Reckoning, but no book that suited her needs was found. She then got the bright idea to visit Micro Center, but it was closed today until five because of a meeting, but who has the patience to wait an hour? She was left with no other option: kick it hard, yell at it, and hope something happens.
"You stupid piece of garbage! WORK!" she yelled as she slammed it with her hoof. Then, as if a death ray had hit her face, Twilight shrieked. A radiant, blue screen pierced her soul. It had white words pasted across it, and she could only assume that it was a bad thing. She had never seen the beast before, but she felt its terror; its choking gaze of destruction. A part of Twilight's soul then burned away, as she was petrified with fear, unable to even blink. The screen just sat there, unmoving and unsolved. Twilight had awoken the beast.
"Uhhh...Uhhh...!" Twilight said, shaking like a polaroid picture. "M-Maybe this...?"
Twilight's horn began to glow as she gently tapped the computer screen with her magic. It did nothing but stare, unaffected by Twilight's masterful spell of fixing things. Twilight began to cry.
"No! Nonononono! This can't be happening! HELP!" Twilight called out of desperation. Suddenly, a high pitched voice spooked her from behind.
"Help with what, Twilight?" Pinkie asked.
"GAH!" the mare gasped as she flinched around. "Oh, it's you, Pinkie... oh, no, it's you, Pinkie!"
"You said you wanted help?" Pinkie asked.
"Nononononono! I said nothing. Go... uh... go back ghome, I'm fine!" Twilight stuttered.
"Silly! I heard you call help! Now, what do you want help with!?" Pinkie spat excitingly. Twilight sighted deeply.
"THAT. Whatever it is." she said as she pointed to the wretched blue screen before them.
"...What's wrong with it?" Pinkie asked, confused.
"I... I don't know! It won't move, go away, or boot up! I'm... I'm afraid for the safety of us all." Twilight said as Pinkie gasped with fear.
"Oh no! What are we gonna do, Twilight?"
"I don't know! I... I tried my magic!"
"Try magic harder!" Pinkie screamed with an iron hoof.
"Augh!" Twilight blurted as she charged up a spell. The charge of it began to fill up a big chunk of the room. Twilight thought it to be enough, but Pinkie insisted otherwise.
"More, Twilight! MORE MAGIC! IT'LL WORK I SWEAR!" Pinkie screamed at the top of her lungs. More purple sparks flew into the giant chunk of magic, with it filling up more than half the room and being at least ten times the size of Twilight.
"MORE, TWILIGHT, MORE!" Pinkie shrieked with a voice crack.
With every little ounce of magic in her, Twilight fired. The sheer firing itself made the world shake violently like it was on a galactic roller coaster of doom. Fire raged through the town, and destruction came upon Ponyville. Everything was now finished, and the Golden Oaks Library no longer existed. There were not even ashes left after the spell. The end had come.
A black-with-soot mare came wobbling into a Micro Center with a huge package behind her. She awkwardly looked around, and made her way to one of the registers. The worker there looked at her with a very concerned face.
"Uhh, may I help you, ma'am?" he asked, tilting his head.
"Yes, actually." Twilight said as she used her magic to pull out a chunk of hard metal. "I can't get my computer to turn on. Any idea what's wrong?"
"Did you try turning it off and on again?"
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Based on a true story, just without the porcupines
3421458 I get bluescreens on a daily basis.
Should totally give this a read.
After reading this:
This sounds exactly like something Twilight would do when she got her first BSOD.
(Demopan's March is somewhat fitting while reading this, odd...)
Oh god, this was brilliant. XD
Not only does it convey the frustration of a clunky older machine acting retarded, it does so in a hilariously over-the-top manner that's perfectly in character. And the best part is the ending, which, believe it or not, has in fact happened in real life to many tech supports--well, minus the huge magical explosion, of course. There are dozens of anecdotes floating around about little old ladies who got confused by their computer, unloaded a shotgun shell into it, then calmly called tech support for help when it "wouldn't go".
Well met. Well met indeed.
I was expecting a blue screen when reading this.
Didn't get one, feel kinda dissapointed.
Oh DIY computer repair.
3421458 If the world had come to an end, how could Micro Center still be standing?
3421458>>3422214>>3422469>>3423304>>3424109
3424223
Annoying things never die. Were a biblical catastrophe to come about, no power from heaven nor hell could damage the following:
Anything tax related
Useless Tech support
Telemarketers
Places or people to which you owe money
Pink Lawn Flamingos
...along with similar entities.
Mother of Celestia that made me laugh so hard!
Good show my good sir.
Rush and Pony on!
T4E
After reading this, only one thought remained in my head.
I have a deep dislike for people who disregard the inner workings of a computer. That brave legion of complete idiots, bravely going were no nerd has returned to before... Microcenter.
Those that give no thought to the months, the years of effort that go into creating these amazing machines. Those that blank out when they ask were I bought my computer from, and I gladly tell them of my epic quest to keep the best of hardware inside that one case.
They are my archnemesis, my eternal foe, and I shall fight them one by one with the best comeback to have ever been devised against them.
"Have you tried turning it off then on again?"
Ah, yes. I remember Windows 95 and 98. I also remember writing a piece of software that credibly imitated a blue screen (but didn't harm anything) and setting it as my brother's screensaver.
3425927
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/282/7/5/rainbow_dash_approved_by_ambris-d4bdn33.png
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bravo!! BRAVO!! *clapping*
Bravo, mate. a hit as always!
Yuss.
"She had never seen this beast before, but she felt it's terror; it's choking gaze of destruction."
Oh my god, this is perfect. I could totally see Twilight doing something like this to fix her computer. You deserve all the Klondike bars: past, future, and present.
Have my babies.
By Celestia's beard, that is the most hilarious thing I have EVER read! [Same thing happened to me, except Fluttershy Ninja-Kicked my screen in
, thus inducing the explosion. Afterwards, (approximately 3 seconds later,) Twilight Ninja-Kicked me in the side of the head 
and screamed at the top of her lungs, "YOU DO NOT LOOK UP SONIC FANFICTIONS EVER AGAIN, OR I WILL NINJA-KICK YOU IN THE BALLS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THERE TO BE NOTHING LEFT TO NINJA-KICK!!!!!" Just thought I'd bring that up. 
]
3425927 lolololol
I saw this and remembered this -