• Member Since 25th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 24th, 2021

mrkirby1231


E

The life of a creature on the moon wondering why this in this world alone and wonders how the beautiful planet will have something in the living. Suddenly something comes where it was
What do I get to the moon? Will answer your questions?
This is my first fanfic hope you enjoy
sorry for my spelling I'm not very good at writing in English if someone want to help me with my spelling I would appreciate

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

Cool first, I like the story so far but I have a criticism. You change from male to female pronouns even when the gender of the subject has been established I don't know if this is intentional or not but it was kind of destructing

Also my first comment ever

Your sentences are WAAAAAAAY too long. Break them up and throw in some punctuation.

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