Ever been controlled like a puppet and you couldn't do anything? That has been my life for a thousand years. A thousand. Damn. Years. but finally. It has ended. So now I'm a free pony. But free from pain? No...not yet. The pain in my mind is still there and the only way to make it go away is to set everything right. To make an amends with everything I have done.
I just want my redemption.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love it so far
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY
Also, Booly. There are still grammar mistakes everywhere....
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Well, I did tell Boolyboo that I am a horrible editor... And I was right...
2046727 Lol, I talked with him on skype and sent him some mistakes I could find..............
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Wow, I like where this story is going and the use of names is great!
Dude. Bro level.. Bro freaking level... your're beautiful
This is the first time I've read a fic with Sombra as the main character. I'm impressed. Not only does the premise have potential, but you've given Sombra a depth I thought he'd lack (not a big Sombra fan). You dropped hints and clues regarding his past, just enough to keep me interested without giving away to much. Plus the world building! OH THE WORLD BUILDING
! Really I have only one thing which I dislike and thats the blatant knockoff of the 
,
, and 
. Still, I suppose thats personal preference which I'll just have to get over.
2047147 Glad you like it so far.
Alot of thought and development went into Sombra and the world around him to make it just right.
Everything will be explained later on and if not I'll do an Epilogue for the loose ends.
About the Blank Shine Crusaders, I have thought of many outcomes with them so the best thing you can do is to get over it and read on.
Stay cool my friend
I had a feeling that those three were Crystal Cutie Mark Crusaders...
2050079 Ma~be
only thing i don't like is its a little fast paced, but even then not by much. And mother of Celestia the world shudders in fear at what 2 groups of crusaders will accomplish. especially crystal ones.
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2052143 My friend. Why, the horror has just begun.
BRILLIANT!
All The Best to You,
Brony and Dashing Proud
Lightning Flash
Wait......in this story, is the Crystal Empire underground? Because in the show it is above ground, just so you know.
2067662 The Crystal Empire is above ground. The Crystal Kingdom is underground though. Expect more sense once the next chapter hits.
Stay cool my friend
2067678 Hurry up >:(
OI HURRY UP
2536025 WHAT HE SAID, ALSO YOU HURRY UP TOO.
2536033 OK BUT HE NEEDS TO HURRY UP SAME AS YOU
2536043 SHADDUP, MINES ALMOST DONE, NOW GO FINISH YOUR'S MATE, BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS.
2529145 2536025 2536033 The chapter will take longer than Half life 3 if you keep complaining
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2536052 OUR POINT STILL STANDS.
HURRY UP!
Unlike these guys, I'll wait patiently. Hopefully the rest of the Crystal Ponies realize Sombra isn't a threat anymore, but I hope they don't realize he isn't a threat anymore without forgiving him first.
interesting story and i cant wait for the next chapter.
Aaaaaah, it burns!
Seriously though, get an editor