Solitary confinement. An extreme measure used to control and tame the most violent of prisoners. Long term confinement is know to cause server psychological effects. So after a thousand years is it any surprise the prisoner isn't exactly... norm
thank you very much for your reviews :D I'm sorry the grammar and that still needs work, still trying to get to grips with it I'm afraid. but hopefully its not too difficult to read
so you DO think of her as a dictating self-proclaimed goddess! i was fearing there for a second
now, im ready for the hate but i need to say it, im 100% with noble on this. something as loose as luna in this senario should to full extent be considered a danger and not thinking of her as such is folly and naivety on a disgusting level
also: “Luna is my sister. We grew up together. Nothing will keep me away from her. Throw all the arguments and objections you want at me and I will ignore them”
this sentence right here proves what i just said and firmly supports the suggestion that celestia should as soon as possible abdicate as a monarch of any political, governmental or military power
I WANTED HEARTBREAK!! HATRED! ETERNAL AND UNLIMITED HATRED!!!! thank you for this better conclusion
I WONT STOP!!! I WANT TRAGEDY!!! DEATH!!! HATRED AND SCORN!!! i think that that is enough of you for now
I SHALL NEVER BE SILENT!!! IM HERE, IN THE DEEPEST CORNERS OF YOUR MIND!!! IM HERE AND IM A PART OF YOU, YOU HEAR ME!?!? I.AM.YOUUUUUUU yes you are but we are sated for now. he doesn't feel the lust anymore
this is actually not on exaggeration. this story is making me feel these emotions and that tells me that this story is Great. (yes, that is Great with a capital G)
Celestia uncovered her eyes and stared down at the... rather pleasant sight before her. She knew she should feel repulsed and awkward, and yes she did feel uncomfortable, but mostly she couldn’t help but admire the beauty before her. Even so weak Luna was still a goddess and as such was perfect... in every detail.
Ugh, what the fuck? This is wrong on SO many levels, reading this paragraph physically repulsed me. Luna is so mentally broken by repeated physical and sexual abuse that she just resigns herself to her fate like a total slave, and Celestia knows this. This is a thoroughly heartbreaking sight, NOT something that anyone but the worst sadist would find in any way beautiful.
I have no problem with the scene itself, in that Luna's reaction is perfectly understandable for someone in this mental state. You did a fantastic job in building up to a very emotional moment, you really did almost everything right (though the scene with Spike and Rarity was way too long). Just... Celestia's incestuous ogling of her malnourished, psychologically tortured to the extreme sister turned everything you did in on itself. This chapter would be much, much better without it.
Even with the bad grammar and punctuation (I feel like this story would be much more popular if the grammar was at least decent), the story itself is pretty gripping, so I'm going to keep reading.
Lovely heartwarming conclusion to the chapter, though I would say the chapters could benefit from a bit of editing though it does not affect my enjoyment of the fic in any capacity. as pointed out my most reviewers the Lunestia bit betrays the mood of the situation considering she knows full well Luna is completely submitting to her from years of abuse and pain, not out of any actual interest in being molested. Personally, I have no problem with the incestuous implications but I do think it portrays Celestia in a very negative light and will most definitely repulse a lot of readers, though I get the impression it was supposed to be humorous.
Sentence structure could use a little work in places, and I noticed the absence of several speech marks. Other than that, good.
thank you very much for your reviews :D I'm sorry the grammar and that still needs work, still trying to get to grips with it I'm afraid. but hopefully its not too difficult to read
2455686
No, not unreadably bad.
You might consider altering the bit where Celestia takes a gander at Luna's genitals. Came off a bit incest-creepy.
This is an interesting concept. Let's see if Luna can be fixed.
This could use some editing in terms of grammar. In terms of the story itself, don't stop whatever you're doing to make me want more.
Update?
This is now one of my favorite works of fanfiction, in any fandom, ever.
Fucking feels are being raped over and over.
so you DO think of her as a dictating self-proclaimed goddess! i was fearing there for a second
now, im ready for the hate but i need to say it, im 100% with noble on this. something as loose as luna in this senario should to full extent be considered a danger and not thinking of her as such is folly and naivety on a disgusting level
also: “Luna is my sister. We grew up together. Nothing will keep me away from her. Throw all the arguments and objections you want at me and I will ignore them”
this sentence right here proves what i just said and firmly supports the suggestion that celestia should as soon as possible abdicate as a monarch of any political, governmental or military power
CURSES!!!
thank god
I WANTED HEARTBREAK!! HATRED! ETERNAL AND UNLIMITED HATRED!!!!
thank you for this better conclusion
I WONT STOP!!! I WANT TRAGEDY!!! DEATH!!! HATRED AND SCORN!!!
i think that that is enough of you for now
I SHALL NEVER BE SILENT!!! IM HERE, IN THE DEEPEST CORNERS OF YOUR MIND!!! IM HERE AND IM A PART OF YOU, YOU HEAR ME!?!?
I. AM. YOUUUUUUU
yes you are but we are sated for now. he doesn't feel the lust anymore
this is actually not on exaggeration. this story is making me feel these emotions and that tells me that this story is Great. (yes, that is Great with a capital G)
Ugh, what the fuck? This is wrong on SO many levels, reading this paragraph physically repulsed me. Luna is so mentally broken by repeated physical and sexual abuse that she just resigns herself to her fate like a total slave, and Celestia knows this. This is a thoroughly heartbreaking sight, NOT something that anyone but the worst sadist would find in any way beautiful.
I have no problem with the scene itself, in that Luna's reaction is perfectly understandable for someone in this mental state. You did a fantastic job in building up to a very emotional moment, you really did almost everything right (though the scene with Spike and Rarity was way too long). Just... Celestia's incestuous ogling of her malnourished, psychologically tortured to the extreme sister turned everything you did in on itself. This chapter would be much, much better without it.
Even with the bad grammar and punctuation (I feel like this story would be much more popular if the grammar was at least decent), the story itself is pretty gripping, so I'm going to keep reading.
Lovely heartwarming conclusion to the chapter, though I would say the chapters could benefit from a bit of editing though it does not affect my enjoyment of the fic in any capacity.
as pointed out my most reviewers the Lunestia bit betrays the mood of the situation considering she knows full well Luna is completely submitting to her from years of abuse and pain, not out of any actual interest in being molested. Personally, I have no problem with the incestuous implications but I do think it portrays Celestia in a very negative light and will most definitely repulse a lot of readers, though I get the impression it was supposed to be humorous.
Hahahahahaha
Sexual attraction to raped and abused sister go brrrr.
Honestly I threw up in my mouth reading that.
This disgusted me on such an extreme level I think I’m actually going to be sick.