Soldier gets transported to equestria and finds it hard to live in it. He has been surrounded by nothing but blood and gore in an endless war how can he find peace..... well by derpys help of course.
Chapters (14)
mineturtle
Joined 7th Oct, 2012 ·
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Personally, i enjoyed this story. The exposition of past events to set the present in motion is fairly well done imo. (but im an idiot, sooo...)
I have some constructive criticism though.
There are actually many grammatical errors, mostly a lack of commas in particular areas. Also, the story was fairly short, but it does get the story started, so it works as a prologue.
Finally, i'm pretty certain that her name is spelled "Ditzy doo" in the fanon.
Plus, one final thing. You spelled Hitler with a lower case letter. >.>
But i will follow and like this story to see how it plays out.
As i said, i liked it.
Soldier and Derpy?
Have you read Waking Nightmares by any chance?
1902459 Nope I have not.
Dude, you seriously need an editor. This chapter was full of so many grammatical mistakes it was painful to read.
1904621 sorry I have failed you nooooooooooo, but yeah I do need one.
1904749You haven't failed anyone. Just pointing out that it badly needs an editor.
1904867 Thanks I know my grammar sucks more than a prostitute giving discounts.
1905217
Well, you just need a good editor. Normally, I'd offer myself. But, with the other 5 stories I am currently editing, and the fact that because I failed my US History class so my dad's taking away everything electronic, I wouldn't be able to help. Sorry
Rainbowdash that who she was looking at was the town's disappointment
When you wish upon a star :D
Well, that's ONE way to introduce Soldier....
1909678 Jolly Jack FTW!
You my friend are very cruel to dinky
1910935 No life is cruel I'm just the one who puts it in place.
fun fact: the soldier is sterile
You know what would be great? If Sgt. Avery Johnson got in on this action and together they fight the Queen of all Wusses: Celestia. Reasons: She couldn't fight Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, heck she couldn't even fight PARASPRITES. Soldier and Sgt. Johnson would steam roll her gargantuan cake eating ass.
(To those retarded troll buzzards out there, THIS IS A JOKE.
Any and all comments about how wrong I am or how I'm stupid or how I was dropped on my head as a child will be met with withering scorn and possibly pictures of your favorite ponies in slow agonizing death or the entirety of Cupcakes posted on your profile page.
)
1912312 I have no idea what you just said so I'm just going to think it's a compliment and thank you for it so yeah thank you.
1910935I agree. Everyone seems so OOC. Twilight is not and was never a condescending bitch. Rainbow may get aggravated at Derpy, but she'd never call her a disappointment or a failure.
And please get an editor!
Eeeeeeeeditooooor!
The only reason I haven't abandoned ship is because I like the concept enough to stay.
1913431 Good response Private Twinkle-toes!
The soldier BOUGHT IT
Well it is derpy who said it , she has the perfect poker face
1913863 Thanks for sticking through my horrible grammar, but it probably won't change so yeah. Oh and I'm a turtle BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
1915550No, that's the stegosaurus. It goes: Helloooo. BOOM!
1915587 Throw the CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
1918901
You're getting mugged!
No, you're getting mugged.
AH! How the hell does that even work!?
1918904 Did you eat my sandwich? I am your sandwich. Glgggggglfhgjjg
1918924
Lady: No, someone help me!
Man: I'll save you. Tree powers activate! *pop*
1918937 Man: Die potato
Potato:Not today *pulls gun out*
1919009
Man: Doctor, I think I might be a homosexual!
Doctor: How can you tell?
Man *while barfing rainbows* rainboooows
I thought fr a minute he turned into one of those machines.
*looks at picture* NO NOT THE LIBERTY LAUNCHER
The soli's name is Jane doe
My sides...
that last part was fucking hilarious!
Let's hope he doesn't start his head collection here...
It's a good thing the cow mangler is unlimited and got it back but please don't let no one take it please and also write some about him using it and oh also here is an awesome idea make him do PAINIS CUPCAKE that would be hilarious.
1925672 Thanks for the idea, now I just have to explode near you to get rid of the evidence.
Potato nooooooooooooooo
lol. Your welcome mineturtle.
who was that?
1935420 Who was who?
Ugh, grammar is still horrible. And you're studying Will? I hated him last term.
1935625 Yup my grammar does suck just like my gay English teacher.
Re-read your chapter there are ALOT of missing letters.
Is the observer carrot top or ditsy herself?
And where is pinkie welcome to ponyville party
1935655 I'll check it later the chapter tomorrow. I just did this chapter fast plus once again William Shakespeare is kinda taking all of my attention for the moment.
Revive-o-matic huh? Better than, "respawn machine"
Let me guess.... are ya gonna pair up Spy with rarity?
I've always wanted to send Valve a quote I think Soldier should use:
" I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR LIVING GUTS, KNIT THEM INTO A SWEATER, AND SEND IT TO YOUR NEXT OF KIN!"
When is Painis Cupcake coming you should make it a long chater for that idea cause he is funny like that. Please do it also another great idea how about he gets those cool unusal hats from somewhere that would be at least something to ask from rarity.