Little Baby Man scout is gone and Heavy soon find him find out what happens when Heavy meets little baby ponies
Chapters (1)
Meh121
Joined 21st Dec, 2011 ·
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*meets* little baby ponies.
1215197 thx haha missed that
heavy will not give up so easily he must sucker punch Celestia in the face!
1215261 haha trust me the Scout in my first one idk if you read it or not knocked Celestia out with his bat
1215266 i noticed he hit luna and celestia but now heavy must punch baby pony princesses
1215278 oh he will
1215203 Also, I'm going to have to thumb this story down for the following reasons:
--Rampant grammar issues.
--Worn-out concept.
--"He said/she said" everywhere.
--Lack of commas. Seriously, they're your best friend. Use them.
--On that note, you're/your confusion.
--Very little detail, not just in the descriptive passages but in the dialogue itself. You're not giving us a thorough enough view of things, and that irks the reader. If the reader doesn't know what's going on, why would they bother reading in the first place?
I won't go into major detail for fear of getting snippy, but it suffices to say that this isn't great. I might suggest going to this group for general guidelines for story-writing, or this group for an editor that will help you with your stuff.
Hope that helped.
knowyourmeme.com/photos/165363-team-fortress-2
1215298 oh yes!
1215289 meh I kinda rushed this one like I did with my scout one these are just little stories I do when bored I just noticed how much stuff I missed thought
Hmmm. Heavy goes to Equestria?
Well, this Tf2 playing brony is about to have a field day!
(After readig)
o.o I think I shall slowly back away to the shadows form whence I came...
Still got a good laugh outt'a this.
Notes:
Gramatical Errors: Check
Funny as Hell: Check
I need some sleep:
In reality all the ponies would be dead. You are making them to overpowered. Then again, this is a troll fix. But I like scout... You know what I'll come back when I've made up my mind.
nice story but I would like it if you had one "red team goes to equestria" rather than multiple separate stories.
1248796 that is what is next
HOHO yes I go to ponies
1252507 HAI T-SPARKLE!!!!
4755972 Hola
4768415 yay
Heavy feels like his sanity is going out window!