Derpy's Family reunion

by thewriter133

Crystal Fall

When Derpy got back she was startled to see three of her friends fighting. She was angry and hurt. She saw Twilight arguing with a blue pony in a magicians hat and cape. She saw Dash eyeying and headbuting a yelow pony with lightning hair. She saw Applejack flailing against her big brother and then she Zecora sitting having a nice cup of tea with Berry, Colgate, Lyra, and Bonbon. She sighed in exasperation and looked at Pinkie saying “Pinkie can you try and sort this mess out I am nervous but I can’t place it.”

Pinkie giggled, kissed her again, and said “Okie, Dokie, Lokie.” she then hopped off.

Blackmane was gently carrying Gilda who was in in pain and kept whimpering. He closed his eye and whispered an incantation. next to him stood a mighty minotaur. He spoke “Hello Eichenstrahl. I need your unige carving skills to create a prosthetic claw for my young apprentice. I saw the work you did on that stallion it was glorious.”

The minotaur spoke in an oxtrian accent. “Eichenstrahl will help magic pony; if magic pony help Eichenstrahl. Need find special wood. Good carving kind only found in Oxtria’s national forest. Big monster trees protect it.”

Blackmane sighed and muttered under his breath. A large log of wood appeared along with the minotaur’s tools. He spoke “Will this do Eichenstrahl?”

The minotaur looked at the wood and sat on it then tasted it then taped it a few times. He spoke “Eichenstrahl like wood. One gryphon arm coming up.”

The sun was just peaking over the horizon when a horde of monsters charged out of the forest. They were of varying size. There were Cocatrice, there were cerberus, hydra, feral dragons, wolves, Timberwolves, and finally there were parasprites oh so many parasprites. The creatures charged past Derpy, who flew up above them towards Cloudsdale. They ran past Eichenstrahl who was busy carving and measuring the wood for Gilda’s arm. They ran past Blackmane who looked unimpressed. He sat there watching and silently counting the army. His good eye rolled in its socket and he stood and followed them casually.

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Pinkie jolted from the sleep she had been in and scratched behind her ear. She looked around and saw all her friends sleeping. She then rushed over to Rainbow Dash yelling “Dashie, Dashie, Wake up you need to get to Cloudsdale to help Derpy. The monsters are coming.” Pinkie saw that her friends weren't going to move so she pulled out a megaphone yelling “EVERYPONY WAKE THE BUCK UP!!”

This startled the sleeping ponies awake and they began rubbing their eyes. They saw a dark cloud on the horizon.

Dash immediately shot into the air along with her rival Lightning Dust. They were going to help if it meant saving Ponyville. The two rushed and soon met with Derpy who was currently getting heavy clouds thrown at her. She sat down dejectedly as Dash and Lightning Dust quickly rallied support especially when several dragons flew overhead.

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In ponyville the small group was making defenses pinkie had a large muffin canon pointed out of the Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s home. On top of the home stood a very large spoon-a-paullt.

Lyra was standing in the middle of town with Octavia and Vinyl. She wasn’t holding her lyre, however, she was holding an electric guitar. Vinyl was on the mixers and octavia had her cello.

Vinyl spoke “how is that going to help us.”

Octavia strummed a note then set in on her side gripping it like a gun and strummed again causing a large nozzle to clunk out of the cello. she smeared paint on her face and said “Let’s do this thing bitches!” Lyra now had a heavy metal wig on her head and she stuck her tongue out She had chains hooked up to her body making her look totally metal. The stage they were on became electrified as techno music sparked through the speakers.

The flower girls were outside their home with several carnivorous plants that they were riding. The spa ponies had a very large hose sticking out their window and the Doctor was fiddling with a blue box completely oblivious and muttering something about Daleks.

The town was ready for an attack that soon came. The monsters were vicious and wreaking havoc. Ponies that were not ready we're now running for their lives. Fluttershy stood in the path of the monsters and suddenly she stared at them causing a few to cringe and recoil. It was then that she was scooped up by a bear who charged into the army. The wolves and Timberwolves were now set upon by bears, birds, rabbits, and many other small animals. The hydra jumped over the dusty mess and landed with a thud. The cocatrice were glaring at several ponies who immediately turned to stone. Almost all those that had been running were now trapped in stone. The cocatrice then joined the dusty fight. The larger beasts were now being assaulted by giant flaming muffins and cake falling from the sky.

Those that got past that assault were now set upon by carnivorous plants and shot with painful lavender scented water. They were all thrown back by a huge blast of music. Up in the sky Discord was watching with amusement. It was certainly a good day to be chaotic. He decided to help out by causing some of the larger animals to shrink.

The pegasi were now in the fray and they were a devastating force. Even old Granny smith was getting into the fight with her grandchildren. It would have been funny were it not for the fact she was absolutely beating the living hay out of a dragon. The fake Macintosh broke the shin of the hydra who fell and was set upon by the rest of the apple family.

The monsters were in full retreat. The rabbits all stood with their tiny arms crossed with the three bears behind them. Two of the cocatrice were be flailed around by Fluttershy. Fluttershy soon stopped when Rainbow dash startled her. Only a few monsters remained and they were currently being assaulted by Opal and Rarity. They too soon fled.
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Crysalis walked into Ponyville and sighed in pain. Her army had been defeated by hilarious weaponry.

She looked at the stone ponies who were being tended to by the Zebra bitch. She then saw General cocatrice getting his tail handed to him by the weakest member of the elements. The cowardly Fluttershy. She then saw Blackmane standing there. He spoke soothingly “Dear Chrysalis. I give you one final chance to surrender quietly and submit for judgment.”
Crysalis closed her eyes saying “It’s too late for that master. You will have to kill me.”

Celestia, Shining Armor, and Cadence descended from the sky in Celestia’s chariot. They surrounded her. Her body glowed red and began shrinking. Soon she was the size of a gem and her body crystallized. Blackmane handed the small soul gem to Cadence and smiled knowingly. She hugged him tightly. He turned to walk away and came face to face with his apprentices. Zecora nodded over to the statues. Blackmane winked and they vanished only to reappear as flesh blood and screaming ponies.

Gilda bowed to him and he looked at the prosthetic leg. He smiled and some magic surrounded the wood causing mysterious markings to appear. He then spoke “Thank you for your support We still have one battle ahead of us. The Wondermane forces will soon set upon this town. I need you all to help train the Ponies to defend themselves.”

The minotaur walked over to him and spoke “Eichenstrahl will help as well puny ponies need good workout. Flabby ponies need muscle like Eichenstrahl!”

Blackmane nodded and looked over at Celestia who pulled out a map and set it on Eichenstrahl’s Twilight, Shining, Cadence, Discord, and Luna were looking at the map now strategizing. Eichenstrahl was examining the ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. He and Blackmane’s apprentices were now collecting groups to work with.

The Apple family were discussing what to do. They soon began forging armor and weaponry for the ponies. A small group of bat like pegasi descended from the sky. They were led by the strangest couple anypony had laid eyes on. One was a day guard and the other was a night guard Female who looked awfully pregnant. With this backup they would have enough to work with.

The three musicians were now flanked by Berry, Colgate, and Bonbon. The three had dangerous looking weapons. Berry was holding bag full of Explodito’s High Powered Flaming cider that had been sitting on her shelf for the last twenty years. Bonbon was dressed in army fatigues with a bandolier of various candies that had gone stale. And Colgate held a large brush with a lasso of floss.

The spa ponies were now getting ready with some pegasi who would help siphon water into their hose. They also had bags of bath salts and oils.

Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake were preparing more food with the help of Pinkie. With all the preparations being made nopony saw a large stallion on two legs walk into town. He wore sunglasses and had a red trench coat on that covered some of his face. One of his forelegs was missing and he hid that fact by hiding it under his coat. He was on two prosthetic hind legs that had been mis-adjusted forcing him to learn to walk upright instead of on fours. He had dust orange hair but he had dyed it black and then highlighted in grey. Under his large collar he smirked and chewed a piece of wheatgrass.

Author's Note:

Well I may have gone insane while writing this chapter. Enjoy My insanity. Tell me what you like or even dislike. Have fun

Comments

[TEK101]

The pure randomness of this chapter. I found this chaotic, but it was awesome. It is a lot of fun.