• Member Since 12th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Stoneificaunt


Hi I'm stone I basically have abandoned this account and will most likely never continue the stories I have written. If by chance I do continue them then go ahead and read them.

Comments ( 41 )

Its interesting and i have to say that i think that you could do better try adding more details and just try and describe things better you want the reader to feel emotion make the character react, like how you would react .

theres a couple pointers that you should think aboout. as i have played the game and baeten it numerous times, he story could use a little bit more detail.

still could use mlore detail i read this within two minutes

1883015 I'll try more detail in the future.

I have something to say after I only SAW this, AHEM: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLLEEEEEEEEELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I like how youve put more detail in to the story but there is also a couple of spelling mistakes that i have found. ans it would improve the story further if you could correct those

your friend and fellow brony.

Wolf

I perfer the title Ranger,to me it sounds heroic.

Comment posted by ponygirl deleted Feb 20th, 2013
Comment posted by Stoneificaunt deleted Feb 20th, 2013

2125153 If you read the beginning of the story you can notice the mask didn't get destroyed but that is all I can reveal you will just have to continue reading to find out.

Comment posted by ponygirl deleted Feb 20th, 2013

Excuse me, have you ever even taken a writing class? You cannot spell and your grammer is horrible. I bet that you will delete this comment so that it looks likje you are a great author. I bet that you are a 20 year old, that still lives with his mommy. What were you doing in your English classes?

2157547 You probably are that same exact person and just made a new profile to heckle me. Or your not, Look I know I suck but it's all not that bad. Plus I have asked for real information on how to fix my stories not negative comments. You, all your doing is heckling me when you don't even have a suitable profile, one story at least or a blog. Not even one follower. So you could say I suck I wouldn't care when we both know that these comments are just a waste of space and time. What are you even really doing on this site to heckle people for a living. Yea real mature. And I'm still in my English classes learning. And my grammar ain't horrible at least I take the time to not try and make spelling errors. Sure it may not be great dialogue but hey it needs time. Time that you could use to leave a suggestion on what I could fix. Instead of leaving a sorry ass excuse of how I suck. When you don't even do anything. Have you even tried to make a story. It's hard cause you have to think what what to write or type where it will go from there and continue. Probably not since your always busy leaving rude comments on people's stories that they try and work hard on. And yes I do still live with my mom only cause I am not ready for this world. And I bet you do to. You could try and leave a comment saying you don't but you either do or you don't and whether I believe you is irrelevant. So I am going to leave your comment just so I can look at it and say to my self yep there's a man or woman who doesn't do two shits on a crapper. And just wastes his time with being a heckler. So if you excuse me I have a story to write and some mourning to end.

What is a suitable profile? Do you not see all the mistakes in your reply to me? Of coarse I live with my mom, is there anyone on here that doesn't? "And my grammar ain't horrible at least I take the time to not try and make spelling errors". That is quite possibly the worst sentence ever written.

2162574 I guess you didn't read the other part about leaving a comment to help instead of being a jack ass.

2162574 now if you don't mind don't leave a comment anymore and go heckle someone else. Ya damn boondoggler.

2163311 Sorry it's just you leave a negative comment and you don't even leave a comment on how to help me become a better writer. Instead you just heckle what I write. And by suitable profile I meant like a picture some info and that would probably be it.

Huh, didn't know he would include pictures in this story, but I guess they work pretty well.

Amazing. I love how Jack is talking to Fable only very clever. I love this story keep up the great work.

2602770 I will do my best and I am already working on the next chapter.

2710284 all that is happening is at the same time. It is after the first choice you make. In Fables place however is just like Fable 3 where Theresa takes you to the road to rule and the world is at a stand still but still goes on. Albeit slowly. In this story it still slows time but at a faster rate where the people might notice he is gone. So like 3 minutes pass and your gone for 1. Say that examples Albion's time line. In Equestria since there is no will magic. It say goes to an hour and you gone for 40 minutes.

This is actually pretty enjoyable I congradulate u my friend. I hope that more chapters will come soon and see what happens to our hero and friends. Also if you read this which choice are you following the evil choice or the good choice dealing with the balvarines.
~ Techsol

First, a moustache for you :moustache: but, I do have a question; you said Fable has the Sword of Aeons as well as Avo's Tear. Did he find the Tear on his own after the confrontation with Jack, because the game has it where your Hero can only have one of those two swords (and since they both do the same thing basically it's just a question of your character's Morality).

Sorry about questioning it, but I love The Lost Chapters, so to me the game's canon was sticking into my head (just like Jack's epic voice was when reading the start of this :twilightsheepish:).

Mild spoilers below if you haven't played Fable: The Lost Chapters.

The Sword of Aeons required you to sacrifice someone important in order for you to wield it. Avo's Tear needed your spirit/deeds to be judged by the long dead spirits of Heroes, plus in the game you only found out about Avo's Tear if you refused to sacrifice someone for the Sword of Aeons and instead destroyed it.

Mr. 2163311
I bet 20,000,000 dollars you can't do jack with a story. So you criticized others to make you feel good. Also I know how hard it is to write a story because I tried and failed.

Golden Light

3521781
SPOILER
the sword demands the blood of the heroes bloodline, not just some random person you care about. Jack himself mentions this and tries to kill Theresa so the hero would be powerless against him.

3521781
Sorry i replied so late, i just started reading :3

i know this is really late but there are alot of things that don't make sense in the story compared to the Fable universe, first the slaughter of the heroes guild, yes i know they were killed but that was long after the Chosen Heroes death, and the reason for them getting destroyed actually made sense. The second part is the fact that there are guns in his periode. I know that Fable have guns but they first appear in the second installment, again after the death of the Chosen One. This story is very well made but those minor details was sticking out like a sore thumb.

So are you ever going to update this, or will you give it for adoption. Because I'll like to see this story to keep going on, instead of being dead.

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