Hearths Warming Eve. A time of celebration. A time for family and joy. It is at this time that Ponies get together and celebrate the union between their races and the formation of Equestria. But aside from all of this, it is also a time for presents, and two roommates are having quite the difficult time acquiring gifts for one another this year. But while they struggle on this cliché problem of the holiday season, the two ponies are oblivious to what this years Hearths Warming eve has in store for them.
Chapters (1)
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Title: An Uncanny Hearth's Warmth
Grammar: 6/10 (see cons)
Pros:
The story is structurally well written and easy to understand.
It was enjoyable.
Cons:
Early on there was a lot of verb tense confusion.
There was some odd phrasing in some of the dialogue in the first scene.
There were two places where you used the letter "u" in place of the word "you"
Notes: While there were a few grammar errors, they weren't bad enough to make me want to stop reading and as the story progressed they became less frequent.
I hope you enjoy your review! as this is a response review I'll just bow out here.
1963236
I guess those "U's" must have slipped by me, but that's what I get when I rush through something to get it out on time.
I'll get to fixing those problems when I can.
Wow... I feel like an idiot.
This story was more of a free write than an actual story attempt anyway, so I should have expected huge problems like this.
Thanks for the review.
1965593
I know the feeling, I'd be lost without my proofreader. I read through my stuff like three or four times before I post it and I'll still miss little stuff just because I know what It's supposed to be so it doesn't catch my attention.
And you're quite welcome
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Title: An Uncanny Hearth's Warming Eve
Grammar: 7
Pros:
- Interesting, lovely story.
- Good characterization
- Overall easy to read.
Cons:
- Towards the end with the last scene it was a bit confusing as to what was going on.
Notes: This was a lovely exciting story that managed to stay understandable and intriguing the whole way through. I felt that the scene with the diamond dogs, the protagonists and the antagonists had me confused but i was able to roughyl see what was going on. Well done
If you could have a look at my story Winter Solstice that would be great.