More Bonking Ponies

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Eustatian Wings

Eustatian Wings #1 · Dec 25th, 2012 · 1 · 2 ·

Aight. I'm bored, let's give this a shot.

Where the flying fuck is part one, though?

Eustatian Wings

Eustatian Wings #2 · Dec 25th, 2012 · · ·

So, I figure this is supposed to be stupid and funny, so I'm not even going to try to get hard from it.

> than her attempt at date rape (without the dating) just now.
Lol.

I'll try to only say this once, but you're prose is dirty with punctuation derps. Doesn't really bother me, just looks grungy. Some ponies will go all religious on it.

> Jerking off during role playing was something she liked to do, and one of the many reasons no other ponies wanted to play with her. Alongside the fact that the game she was playing had awful rules, of course.

Yep. No boner, but my gut is starting to hurt.

> While the two of them were having sex together

Stop. Oh, it hurts.

So, really rather short, the sex writing is atrocious, and I hope your abuse of the English language is intentional.

But, let me tell you what happened the first and last time I entered a bad-shipfic contest.

I got schooled. There's a lot of skill in to writing a really good bad story. If you do it right, you'll make the reader feel like you Do Not Give Two Shits, while at the same time he won't be able to look away.

You seem to almost care about the story, which makes it not so good at being bad. That's what I did wrong.

Check out Golden Vision, Number25, EMF Scootaloo's entries in that contest. Brilliantly bad. It's really pretty impressive.

silvergunner

silvergunner #3 · Dec 25th, 2012 · · ·

1851775 Admittingly I did write it while I was drunk and didn't proofread before posting (its cross-posted from my FA page). The game Pinkie Pie likes is "FATAL" (a game that is considered the worst ever on RPGNet, due to its rules for rape and defecation). Basically I tried to make Pinkie Pie in as bad a light as possible.

First chapter will be up soonish - i'm fixing a problem with it as we speak.

Steryworm

Steryworm #4 · Dec 26th, 2012 · · 1 ·

Having played FATAL, i have a great respect for this tale. I understand this thing perfectly. Its the only game where a women can die from getting her penis chopped off