Hearths Warming Wishes

It's been a long kept secret of the Wonderbolts. Every year, the team meets at the Wonderbolts stadium to hitch up and help the big pony himself Santa Hooves fulfill the dreams of everypony in Equestria. Well, most of them anyways. For some things are beyond the limits of even the wise old unicorn Santa Hooves. Sometimes all it takes is a willing soul to make a small fillys Hearths Warming wish come true.

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Comments ( 12 )

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DracoAzule

DracoAzule #1 · Dec 24th, 2012 · · ·

Please give critique. I know there's probably tons I could improve on. :)

Feurisson

Feurisson #2 · Dec 24th, 2012 · · ·

It's a cute story with no major flaws, but normally each time a new person is speaking a line break is added to make reading easier.
Like this:
Person A said: "This is a sentence that serves as an example"
"This sentence serves a response to the previous example" answered Person B.
As for the storyline, it was okay, but nothing really special. A bigger twist at the end would have been nice, as it is now it's a bit predictable. Still a decent story and I gave it a thumbs-up.

DracoAzule

DracoAzule #3 · Dec 24th, 2012 · · ·

1848398 It's actually just an idea I had earlier yesterday while I was at work. And since I'm going to be quite busy today and tomorrow, I didn't have much time to work on it if I was going to submit it before Christmas.

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