The Order of Chaos (canon)
The Order of Chaos (canon)
Twenty-three pairs of eyes watched from a private lounge on Harmony Station as the first starship carrying Avolian passengers into the great unknown shot off into the distance.
“Are we sure this is a good idea?” asked a short man with blue hair, wearing a red suit. “What if they don't survive?”
A lithe, red haired woman answered, “If they aren't strong enough to survive this, then we're all doomed anyway.”
“I agree,” said a man with long, two tone, white and black hair. “Besides, I have faith in them. They're a lot stronger than you might think.”
Another man with a wild look in his yellow eyes and white, messy hair, “Easy for you to say, Mayhem. Your kid's staying on Avol, safe and sound.”
Mayhem snarled, “She has her own role to play, Discord. You know that.”
“Peace, James,” said a large, older man with piercing gray eyes and short silver hair. “You know Daniel worries for Fluttershy. After all, Felicia was his sister.”
Mayhem sighed, closing his eyes. “I know, Father. I worry, too.”
“Why?” said a tall middle aged woman with green and yellow striped hair and puce eyes. “Fluttershy's the toughest of those girls, and Applejack is a lot like like Eric. They'll be fine. Twilight has Curt and Dashie has Spike, so we don't need to worry about them. It's Rarity I'm worried about. She's more than willing to throw her life away.”
A dark skinned man with yellow, spiky hair and orange eyes spoke up, “Yeah but like Father said, we can't help them too much. We know what's going to happen once Ragnarok starts. They're gonna be the only chance we have.”
Father looked back out the window. “Then we must have faith that those girls can save us all.”
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Neeewwww?~
"Oh, dear, you really don't understand, do you?"
"What are you saying?
"Your friend has garnered some... unusual attention. Great Works have been set in motion long before your time, yet their apex is at hand."
"Your attention?"
"Well... I would be lying if I said no. Your band has caught my attention some time ago, but I am only here to observe."
"Why?"
"Have you ever seen the sunrise while lying on the dew-stained grass? What of telling tales of great heroes and noble wanderers to the young ones by the hearth's dying embers? A bended knee and a flourish of roses? That special spark that binds friends together? The peal of bells and open oak doors? ...Laughter, while dancing in the rain for one last time... A wounded soul comforted by a loved one? That is why you fascinate me so. Hope follows you. Hell follows me."
You are a sneaky author leaving such information as a draw to bring people to your new stories.
I approve 100%
5744419 Nope. No typo there. Just military.
5744613
5744562 I'm glad you've been enjoying it.
5744653 I don't think entertaining war orphans was what she thought was bad about Trixie's shows
5747141 Yeah, I'm still learning, but I feel I'm getting better. I'm glad you were able to see past the shortcomings
5751746 Wait.... Holy shnitz, I never noticed that before
I had kinda hoped that James and the rest of the mentioned counsel would not be part of the sequel, because the impossibly well informed on a level of power completely beyond anything else we know of in the setting manipulating events from the background is the cheapest plot device I could possibly imagine, James bugged the hell out of me in the first story and if they are also going to be a major part of the new ones I will probably pass on them, which sucks because the first story was one of the best I have ever read even if every time James revealed himself I rolled my eyes and groaned.
5754005 They aren't going to play that much of a role in the sequels. Besides, they aren't as all powerful and all knowing as they let on. I'll be hinting a little at who and what they are, but only a bit. Their story won't play a big role until the finale after the collab.
5753919 About a year after the events of Magic Duel, she left Equestria to see the world. While traveling the other, less idyllic countries, she learned how to defend herself. She doesn't have a bloodlust, but she has killed, and has no problem doing so again if need be.
5754754ok, I just finished the story and I loved it.
There where defiantly some sad parts in to this book, parts that I cried in, but also great comedy and bonding. You have great talent in story telling my friend!
And seeing your explanation for trixie's behavure I would like to see a side story on her adventure, if you don't mind.
5755189 If you look at the characters in Nightmare's Dream, you'll see something you might like
5754738 If they are not as powerful as they let on, then Discord is the best fake of all time seeing as how his appearance basically single highhandedly won the final battle of the first story to the point where it made the entire fight preceding that point kinda pointless.
5758204 All he did was transport a single parasprite into each ship, then changed its diet (something even Twilight could do). It's own nature did the rest. They aren't as powerful as they let on, but they are powerful. They're also far, far older than the princesses, and are very crafty. His defeat of the Dratali fleet was a display of creative genius, not power.
5767159 I'm glad you like it.
P.S. If you look at the buttons along the top of the comment box, you'll see a button with the " symbol. That will give you this [quote ][/quote ] (without spaces) Just enter you text in between, [quote ]like this[/quote ]
Sequels? to what?
I haven't been on fimfic for months and I need to catch up.
5851129 The sequel collab: Click me
5860976 Where as the dratali believe all life is evil, including themselves, and plan to off themselves after they take care of everyone else.
5861373 that I do, That...I...Do
6008862
fun fact.----it was 1 hour after i watched the epsiode i read the line....
6008862 Nah, that would have been taking the joke too far.
i was just planning to skim a few chapters to refresh myself for the sequel but I'm well on my way to rereading the whole damn thing!
6156149 The thing about the turret is that it was a part of town's defense network. After so long without maintenance, it's not functioning properly. Normally they are quite accurate. I know this isn't stated, but that's because this story is from Twilight's perspective. Since she's unaware of this, she can't tell it to the others.
As for the injury, it was high on the cheek, along the cheek bone. I mentioned in the prelude that the scar was just under her eye.
6348143 Wrong Roanoke. I'm in Roanoke, Virginia, not Roanoke Island, North Carolina.
6360594 Thank you for your honesty, and being polite about it. I know my descriptions are lacking. This story actually helped me get a lot better at that (though it's still my weak point)
6360684 Twilight said they aren't truly evil, but Spike still sees them that way.
6360734 This particular one is not like your typical mage. He's an Archon, an elite, powerful spellcaster. Though they still have to draw magic in, they are capable of drawing it much, much faster.
Since FimFiction hates me, my responses to these might be delayed. For some reason, anytime a comment response ends up on another page, it never gives me a notification for it, so I have to actually go back to the story and look to see if there was a response. Hopefully I'll still respond in a reasonable amount of time, but if i don't, that's probably why.
6360747
Well, the humans were the ones who called them evil. He (I can't remember which one) said that the one thing he could respect about them was that they weren't hypocrites because they considered themselves to be just as evil as everything else in existence.
6360771
It still would have been neat to see the Dratali have a completely unique magical combat style that makes use of their strengths without basically just making him a better version of a unicorn.
With theoretically limitless power available to them, but longer cast times, they would favor spells with long durations (particularly defensive spells) and pay little attention to efficiency. So what if the spell is a constant drain to maintain? His power isn't gonna run out anytime soon. Similarly, their offensive spells wouldn't be designed for speed, but pure power. Yeah, it might take a bit to cast, but when it goes off, you, the guy next to you, and probably everyone within a good twenty feet are gonna feel it. You can afford to take longer to cast if you only ever have to cast once.
And they could specialize in crafting storage devices that could be accessed in emergencies for if they screwed up and need something quick to save their ass.
People always like to make fun of the slow, high collateral damage combat styles, but the fact of the matter is that when it comes to magic, the guy doing the casting isn't any more durable, no matter how powerful their magic is, or how fast they can cast it. The winner in a duel is the first one to find a gap in their opponent's defenses, whether they find that gap through defense, guile, or brute force, the result is the same. All being the slower caster means is that you have to be slightly better at planning ahead.
I dunno, I guess it just feels like there could have been a lot more done with the unique differences you made between Dratali and unicorn casters. But there's still a lot more story to go, so maybe this is just one guy who uses that particular style of casting.
6363786 She did get a bit of joy from it, but only because of what ponies had done to her subjects in the past. In their experience, any time ponies outed them, they were met with violence and hatred. Ponies had seen them as horrendous monsters and even on occasion killed them. To the ponies, they were just ridding the world of another evil monster.
6363821 I tried to keep it as 'realistic' as possible, so magic is a naturally occurring anomaly. Therefore, it really can't be too different as any being that uses it would be using the same force. Twilight called it "very different from pony magic" for the same reason volcanoes on Neptune's moon, Triton, are 'very different' because they spew water and other chemicals instead of lava, despite functioning in fundamentally the same way.
As for why they don't use spells with long cast times and durations, that's simply because those kinds of spells require a constant feed of magic, and seeing as they don't really have a natural font themselves like ponies they would have to be constantly focusing on feeding it. It's because of this, they usually rely on either quick casting spells, or other soldiers to cover them while casting. They have those 'high collateral' spells, but they are usually meant for 'suicide bomber' type attacks.
Admittedly, my descriptions of the Dratali are quite lacking. I wanted them to be enigmatic, not faceless, but I didn't a very good job there. I'm trying to rectify that in the sequel, but obviously that doesn't really help in this one.
6364086
My intent wasn't to imply that the Dratali are somehow using a completely different force, but rather that the way they use it should be different. Why bother pointing out that the Dratali and the Equestrians use magic in completely different ways if there's no practical difference? Rather than having their own, unique style that they developed over the centuries and millennia of their existence, the Dratali are just unicorns, except better since them having "longer cast times" is really only a thing until they practice a bit and then it doesn't matter anymore.
Even Twilight's magic doesn't have the limitations you claimed it did at the beginning. The whole point of bringing up that Twilight uses an internal magic source rather than an external one was to imply that her magic is faster, but has a limited source of power to draw from. But then you turn around and have her teleporting repeatedly across hundreds of miles in space and firing lasers everywhere like it's nothing.
Why bother making a distinction between the way the two races use magic if it's not gong to make a difference in what they can and can not do with it in the story?
As for Chrysalis, I guess that's just going to come down to a matter of interpretation. I would be hard pressed to call the way she talks, and acts, and the way she smiled and laughed in the show at the fate of the ponies as "a little joy". I can't call it anything less than pure malice. They're vaguer enough in canon that I don't really have anything to support that claim beyond my own interpretation of her actions, but I just can't believe that the way she acted was nothing more than her doing what was necessary to save her species.
6367435 Yeah, I suppose I did over do it a bit with how much magic Twilight was really using there. Though, in this universe teleportation doesn't drain as much magic as most think, it only required very complex calculations and precision that few others could really do so quickly. Of course, she did drain herself to dangerous levels.
Also, there's a few other differences in the two magics, mostly in the manner of weaving and casting their spells. Think of it like the differences between a Mongolian composite bow and an English yew bow. They're both very different, as they used different materials and firing techniques, but can still fire the exact same arrow.
Finally for Chrysalis, if she blamed the ponies for they suffering, I don't think her malice is so far fetched. She saw the ponies as xenophobic tyrants that were driving her subjects to starvation. I suppose that's another place I could have given a bit more exposition, though.
6369420 This was during a boom in stories where the Doctor showed up to do just what you said. This was kind of a jab at that.
so.... this is the end..... right?